by Diana Nixon
“I need a shower.”
“Can I join you? I need one too!”
“Fuck off, Oliver! And don’t forget to close the door behind you!”
Not that I was going to leave, of course. Instead, I went to what used to be my room, took a spare bathrobe from the drawer and went to take a shower. And now, standing under the steam of hot water, I could still remember how good it felt to feel Jill’s lips wrapped tight around me. I was obviously out of my mind, because it looked like even in a dream, all I could think about was Jillian. And thank God, that at least in my dreams, her pretty lips were busy with something that didn’t involve shouting at me.
About fifteen minutes later, after I was done with the shower and wanted to make some coffee, I heard the front door opening.
“Hello? Anybody home?”
Oh, crap… Scarlett.
I put on my best smile and went to greet her.
“Morning, Sunshine!”
She looked at my bathrobe and smirked. “I didn’t know you were still living here.”
“He’s not,” Jill said, coming out of her room.
“Oh, I see.” Scarlett’s eyes shifted between Jill and me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”
“Don’t worry, Jill and I were just about to have breakfast.” I smiled at my pissed-off roommate and went to the kitchen.
“I thought I told you to get out,” she said, following me.
“I’m sorry, I must have a hearing problem.”
“You are going to have so much more than just a hearing problem,” she hissed, standing next to me.
I leaned towards her ear and said, “Can’t wait.”
“Maybe I should come back later?” Scarlett asked, watching our exchange of pleasantries.
“No, stay,” Jill said, giving me another murderous stare.
“How about some pancakes?” I asked.
Scarlett giggled. “You are one lucky girl, Jill, to have this cutie to cook for you.”
Jillian rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Yeah, and he also thinks that apart from cooking his every day job also includes driving me up the fucking wall.” She had changed into a pair of light-blue jeans, combined with a white shirt, with its sleeves rolled up to her elbows; her hair was gathered in a ponytail.
“So how did you like your bridal shower, Scar?” I asked.
She put her bag on the table and dropped her jacket onto one of the chairs.
“It was great, except for the fact that I can still hear the music pumping in my ears, and my head is spinning a little. I tried to call Joss, but apparently, she’s still sleeping, because I only managed to reach her voice mail.”
“Maybe I could use some more of my sweet sleep, if it wasn’t for this creepy stalker who woke me up,” Jill said, nodding to me.
“Don’t be a scratch cat, Darling. I didn’t mean to wake you up.” I winked at her.
“I’m not sure I want to hear about how exactly he woke you up,” Scar said, still giggling.
We talked a little about the last night and my sister’s crazy dancing, and then we served the table and had breakfast.
“Where’s Dom?” I asked Scarlett.
“He’s at a meeting.”
“On Sunday afternoon?” Jill asked, surprised.
“He said it was about some surprise for the wedding.”
I smiled. “I’m sure you will love it.”
“You know what it’s all about, don’t you?”
“Well, since it was my idea-”
“Oh, Lord, I don’t like the sound of that. What are you two up to?”
“Naah, not going to tell you. But I would highly recommend you buying a pair of nice leather shorts.”
“What? I hope he’s not going to buy me a sex shop or anything?”
I only smiled in response, chewing a piece of pancake.
“Okay, thanks for late breakfast,” Scar said, rising to her feet. “But I think it’s time for me to go.”
“Already?” Jill asked, watching me out of the corner of her eye.
“Don’t worry, Sweetie, I’m sure your cook won’t try to eat you alive. Unless you ask him to, of course.” She winked at me, took her bag and jacket and headed for the door, with Jill following her.
“You okay?” I heard Scarlett asking.
“Yeah, as much as I can be okay, considering that your future relative is the last person I wanted to see today.”
“Talk to him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Well, call me if you need anything.”
“Okay.” They said good-bye and Scarlett left.
What did she want Jill to talk to me about? Had she made some decision about us? Was it too late to tell her what I felt for her?
“Oliver, can we talk?” She asked, coming back into the kitchen.
“Yeah, sure. About what?” I dried my hands and leaned against the kitchen counter, waiting for whatever she was about to say to me.
“We can’t do this anymore. We need to stop.”
Chapter 15
Jillian
I hated myself for everything I was going to say next, but I couldn’t stand fighting with Oliver anymore. Apparently, we couldn’t make things work, so I thought it would be easier for both of us to just stop everything that had been going on between us.
“I couldn’t agree with you more,” Oliver said.
Even though it was my idea to stop everything, it still felt a little offending that he would actually agree and give up so easily.
Did I hope he would say something, anything to make me change my mind? Did I expect him to put up a fight about it? Well, duh, yeah of course, I did…
“I thought since you didn’t come here last night, your apartment must be ready for you to move back in, right?” My original speech didn’t include that question, and I knew he would hear another question hidden within it, but it was too late to take my words back.
He smirked, looking at me intently. “If you wanted to ask me where I stayed the other night, you could have just come right out and done so.”
“I don’t give a damn about where you stay at night. I was just wondering how soon you intend on moving out of here,” I said, gesturing around the apartment. “I saw that you took all of your stuff with you, so naturally, I assumed you wouldn’t be coming back. Silly me, I guess you proved me wrong with that thought.”
“And I thought you were still considering my invitation from last night.”
You have some nerve, asshole…
“In your dreams!”
“As for my dreams, Sweetie… In my dreams, you are much more complaisant and obliging than you are right now.”
“Screw you, Oliver.” I turned around and left the kitchen in a huff. I was seriously sick and tired of his stupid jokes, the man honestly believed he was witty, he wasn’t even worried that no one would find him humorous, he just said every single thing that came into his mind. I was also sick of anything that put him and me together at all. I went back to my room and locked the door just in case he decided he might want to try and come and ‘talk’ to me again.
There was a moment last night that I thought I didn’t really care about his reputation or sexcapades, but now that the amount of alcohol in my bloodstream was much less, I realized that I wanted so much more than Oliver could ever give me.
About ten minutes later, I heard the front door open and then close again. I went out into the hall and found Oliver’s set of house-keys on the table near the door. He left, he actually left…
I took the keys, looking at them thoughtfully. Is that what you really wanted? For him to leave you alone? Well, yeah, but…
Suddenly, it all felt wrong. We were playing a game which neither of us knew how to play from the very beginning, despite the set rules. The things we were saying to each other, trying to fool or hurt each other, it was all wrong. We shouldn’t have been doing any of it, we should have just left each other alone in the first
place; none of this would have happened if one or both of us would have walked away from the start.
It should have been me, I should have controlled my hormones. I shouldn’t let them take control over my rational thinking. After all, there were a lot of players around, and apparently, there was only one that I was not sure how to handle.
I tossed the keys back on the table and went to the kitchen to find some wine. It didn’t make me an alcoholic even if I wanted a drink right after I just finished breakfast, did it? I looked at the clock on the wall and it showed half past three in the afternoon – just about time to have a drink and watch Dirty Dancing.
A movie, a pizza and a half of a bottle of wine later, I thought it was time to think about my wedding speech for Scarlett and Dominick.
I hated toasts, and even more, I hated people watching you with their eyes full of some stupid expectations, as if you were not just making wishes, but talking about a strategy for saving the world from a nuclear war. I went to the desk to find a piece of paper and a pen. Once I got to the desk, I noticed that some of Oliver’s papers, including his business plan, were still there. Curious, I scooped up the papers, poured another glass of wine and went straight back to the couch to read them. A few things immediately caught my attention and I thought he wouldn’t mind me making some notes.
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but when I woke up and saw that it was almost eight in the morning, I realized that I had passed out in the middle of Oliver’s business plan and now I was about to be late to work. Shit…
I jumped to my feet, put all the papers in a file folder and onto the desk, and rushed to the bathroom, hoping there wouldn’t be much traffic on the way to the office.
***
“Good Morning, Miss Murano,” Amy, my secretary said. She was about forty and sometimes I thought that her work was her only love. As far as I knew, she wasn’t married, so I guess that explained quite a bit. She came to work earlier and left later than everyone else. I looked at her and frowned, thinking that I would never wish a life like hers on anyone, including myself. I didn’t know if she had friends to hang out with, but I guess most women her age had husbands and kids to care for.
“Morning, Amy. How was your weekend?”
“Great. I went to visit my family in Denver and had some fun with my niece. She’s such a doll.”
“How old is she?”
“Five. But sometimes it feels like she’s even older that I am. Children nowadays are so advanced. They know everything about everything, when I can hardly manage to not mess up a Word document, let along figure out how to create one.” We both laughed.
“Indeed. Children grow up really fast these days.” Not that I was an expert, but I had a sister, who sometimes seemed to be not just from another time era, but from a different planet.
“Do you know if Mr. Altier is already here?” Despite my morning rush, I still managed to finish Oliver’s business plan. I even took a taxi instead of driving my own car to be able to finish it on my way to the office.
“Yes, I saw him about five minutes ago. He arrived together with Miss Wilson.”
“Oh, good. I need both of them.” I knew that Scarlett would never miss her chances to ask me about Oliver, so I thought it would be better to talk to her before she would be able to ruin my workday by calling me non-stop.
“May I come in?” I asked, opening the door to Dominick’s office.
“I didn’t know that anyone in this company still remembered how to be polite,” he said, not even looking at me.
“Whoa, someone appears to be moody today, why? By the way, the only person who doesn’t know a damn thing about good manners in this place is the head of the company.”
Finally, he raised his eyes and after a short pause, he smiled, saying, “Do I know the name of the person who is the cause for your own bright and shining mood?”
“I doubt that. But if you mean your brother, could you give him these papers? Please.”
“Why don’t you do it yourself?”
“I don’t think that it will be possible any time soon.”
“Did you two fight again?”
“No, why would you think that?”
“Because less than forty-eight hours ago, he was going to tell you something very important.”
“No, really? Well, apparently, he changed his mind about that, because the only thing that he spoke to me about was an invitation to join him in his bed, or in the shower, I don’t remember exactly. But you get the general point, right?”
Dominick smiled, shaking his head. “You two act like a couple of children, you do realize that, right?”
I rolled my eyes, knowing that trying to explain things to Dom was pointless. “I only needed to leave these papers with you so that he could get them, so if you don’t mind, I will get back to my work.”
“Sure, sure.” He waved to the door. “I bet you have tons of work to do.”
“Exactly.” I turned on my heel and went out of his office, surprised when I realized that Dominick didn’t try to piss me off with his own stupid jokes, one Altier brother running his mouth was more than enough, so I was glad that Dominick kept his mouth shut.
“Hey, girl, what are you doing?”
Scarlett was sitting in her chair, turning over her cell phone absently in her hands.
“Trying to decide what to do with you.”
“What?” I took a seat facing her and stared at her, puzzled.
“How long are you and Oliver going to play this stupid game of yours?”
“We are not playing anything. And for the record, I think we are going to get back to our old selves.”
“I saw you two yesterday, you know?”
“I know, we saw you too.”
“That is not what I mean, I mean I couldn’t help but notice the way you two looked at each other. Is it so hard to just sit and talk like normal responsible adults?”
“All of our talks end up in bed, or with a drink in our hands in company of some stranger.”
“Well, I don’t have anything against the first scenario. Bed is the key to many doors.”
“And here I thought it was a key to only one door – which happens to be between someone’s or rather some woman’s legs.”
“Don’t get me wrong, Sweetie, I’m sure neither of you will be able to move on until you know exactly what’s holding you back from each other.”
“And what do you think that is?”
“Don’t we both know the answer to that question?”
Of course, I knew that Scarlett was talking about love. The only problem was that I wasn’t sure if Oliver knew what the word actually meant.
“I’ve already made a decision, Scarlett. There’s no way back.”
“Are you sure that showing him the door is the best way to handle the situation? What if he’s the biggest lo-”
“No, don’t say that.” I stood up, indicating the conversation was over. “He and I need some time away from each other.” Then I turned to the door and headed back for my office.
I knew that Scarlett was worried about me, and I knew she liked Oliver no matter how much of a reckless rascal he was. But I wasn’t sure if he was what I needed. I wasn’t a saint, of course. God, sometimes I was an even bigger sinner than he was, with my love for margaritas, sexy asses and torsos. But I was a very selfish person as well, I would never share something or someone who belonged to me, and with Oliver, I couldn’t be sure about anything. Being unpredictable and uncontrollable were two different things.
The moment I entered my office, I saw a bouquet of pink roses on my desk.
Again? Seriously, Jeremy?
I was just about to toss the flowers into the trash can, when I saw a note attached. Jeremy never wrote any notes to me, so I got curious and opened it.
“Maybe I’m not perfect, maybe I’m not even close to any known kind of perfection, but the only thing that I will never regret about my messed-up life is the time that I spent with you…
O.”
I felt my heart dropping straight down through my chest, through my stomach, and to my feet; tears rolled down my cheeks. I sat on my chair, still holding the note in my hands. Oliver was right, he was not perfect, but neither of us was. God, maybe his imperfections were one of those things that made me fall in love with him? Maybe Scarlett was right too, and I didn’t need to rush into sending him away? What if giving up on us was the biggest mistake of my life? What if there was a chance to have something so much more important and bigger than just sex? What if I did it all wrong?
I looked at the note again, and more tears poured out of my eyes. I used to always know what to do, I never failed with what I wanted, but now I was so lost. And the damn flowers only made everything even more complicated. I didn’t expect anything like that from Oliver. It showed a different side of him, something that I had never noticed before, and something that I wanted to know more about. But first of all, I needed to give myself a break, I needed to stay alone for a while, I needed time to think. Right now, I wasn’t ready to make any decisions. I just wanted to be free again, even if that also meant staying away from Oliver. Even if that also meant giving him more time to understand what he wanted for himself.
I tore the note into pieces, tossed them into the garbage can, and then asked the secretary to take the flowers away. For now, silence felt like the best answer I could give in response to his note.
The next couple of days I tried my best to not think about Oliver. He didn’t show up at the office, didn’t call and I didn’t ask anyone about him, regardless of how much I wanted to.
I stayed at work late, came home around midnight when I didn’t have the slightest desire to do anything but fall asleep, then I woke up and went to work again, scheduling as many meetings as possible. Even Amy said that I shouldn’t work that much, but I didn’t care. And every time Oliver’s image flashed behind my eyes, I tried to focus on something else. I even ordered a new couch, though neither Scarlett nor Dominick commented on my new piece of furniture. I bet they both knew that I didn’t order it just for fun, but to lessen the number of things that were reminding me of the only man who managed to stay in my mind longer than anyone else. The only thing that I was scared to face, was Scarlett’s wedding day.
