by Diana Nixon
I knew I would see Oliver there, and I wasn’t ready for the meeting. I even considered the idea of telling my best friend that I wouldn’t be able to attend her ceremony, but then I imagined Scarlett’s fury, and changed my mind.
That’s why today started with two painkillers that I hoped would help me get rid of my unbearable headache and two cups of coffee that I simply hoped would help me survive the day.
“Tell me you are okay.”
I don’t know how many times Scarlett asked that, but I was seriously tired of her overprotectiveness.
“Jeez, I’m fine!” I snapped, reaching for my second glass of champagne. Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to combine with painkillers and coffee, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Then why do you keep drinking?”
“Because it’s your wedding day, and I kind of hate the idea of losing my best friend.”
“You are not going to lose me, you know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, right. Just wait for the moment your house is full of running kids and your maid cooking shitty food. Then we will see how much time you will have for me.”
She laughed. “I swear, no matter how many kids I have, you will always be the first person I call if I need help with them.”
“I don’t think that it’s a very good idea.”
“Besides, who said that you are not going to have kids of your own?”
“Maybe one day.” I swallowed the rest of my drink and put the glass down on the table. “Now, where’s my dress? I guess it’s time to put this half drunk body into something decent.”
“No more champagne until after I get married!” Scarlett said warningly.
“Sorry, Babe, this is going to be the day of my mental breakdown, so I can’t promise you anything. But I will try.”
“Good girl.” Scar smiled, handing me the dress.
Chapter 16
Oliver
This is going to be a long day, I thought to myself, fighting with the damn black tie. I hated ties. Period.
“Need help?” Dominick asked, entering my room. We were staying at our parents’ place, because our mother was sure that a groom should leave from his parents’ house to go to the church to be married, she was big on wedding superstitions and traditions.
“Mom, he’s not a bride,” I said a few days ago when she called and said that she wanted Dom and me to be there by Friday night.
“It doesn’t matter. He’s our son and your father and I want him to spend his last night as a bachelor here.”
We all knew that it was pointless to argue with mom, so I said, “Fine, I’ll be there by Friday night. Anything else?”
“Yes. I hope you are not bringing any strippers with you, because I don’t want our family to be humiliated by gutter-trash.”
I smiled mentally. “Thanks for the reminder, Mom. I almost forgot to call her.”
“Don’t push it, Oliver. I know you well enough to have my reasons to be worried about your behaviour on the day of the wedding. Please, be a good boy.”
“Always.”
“Great. Now I need to talk to your brother. Have a good day, Honey!”
“You too, Mom. Bye.”
If only she knew that I hadn’t seen any strippers or any girls at all for that matter since… Well, since the day I was publicly called a deadwood. It wasn’t even about Amalia ruining my reputation, I had my own reasons to stay away from women. Unfortunately, there was one that I couldn’t stop thinking about.
“Have you talked to Jill?” Dom asked, bringing me back to reality.
“No, I haven’t seen her since last Sunday.” I looked at my reflection in the mirror and grimaced. “Can I go without a tie?”
“Sorry man, not today.” Dom came closer and retied the tie. “Now, it looks much better.”
“I bet you can put on a tie even with your eyes closed.”
He smiled. “It’s a part of my everyday wardrobe for my job.”
“So tell me, dear brother. Are you ready to see a wedding band on your finger?”
“I think I am.” He sat on my bed, taking a black, velvet box out of his pocket. “I hope you won’t lose it,” he said, handing the soft, little box to me.
“I do care about my safety, you know?” I took the box and put it into my jacket pocket. “I know you would kill me if I lost it. Shall we go now?”
We went down into the living room where our parents and my sister had already been waiting for us.
“Uh, Mom, please don’t start crying again,” I said, giving her a hug. “Dom’s just getting married. It’s not like he’s going to sign his own death sentence or anything, right?”
“I bet for you, marriage would look just like a death sentence,” Joss said, smirking at me.
“I’m not marriage material.”
“Don’t you ever say that again in my presence,” Mom said warningly. “I want to have many grandchildren, and yes, I still hope that one day you will become a decent man and get married too.”
“Not in this life, Mom.”
“Oliver!”
“Okay, okay, I promise to think about it. Happy now?”
“I will be when I see a good woman by your side.”
“Mom, to find a good woman, he needs to stop being such a jerk,” my sister said.
“Josseline, I would really appreciate you leaving your modern English at home,” our father said.
She rolled her eyes. “D'accord – Fine!”
“I think it’s time to go,” Dom said, looking at his watch.
“Yes, let’s go. It will be such an embarrassment if the groom arrives later than the bride.” Mom smiled at my brother and headed for the front door, followed by our father, Joss and me.
We arrived at the church about half an hour before the beginning of the ceremony. Many of the guests had already arrived and were taking their seats. Mom and Dad went to greet Scarlett’s parents, and Joss went to find Scarlett and Jillian.
“I’ll be right back,” I said to Dom. I needed a drink. But then I thought that I would hardly be able to find one in the church, so I took a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and went outside, hoping that the nicotine would help me relax, even just a little.
I was as tensed as a guitar string. I knew what was wrong with me, of course I did. I was afraid of seeing Jill.
We hadn’t seen each other for five days, but it felt like longer, it felt like forever. I couldn’t sleep, or eat, or work. I spend the entire week dragging my half-drunk body from one corner of my apartment to another, fighting with my desire to call her.
She didn’t say anything about the flowers or the note that I sent her, which I thought was a bad sign. Well, not that I expected her to melt from the flowers or anything. But I hoped she would at least thank me for them. Apparently, I didn’t deserve something as simple as a thank you.
I took the last drag of the cigarette, tossed the butt into a trashcan and went back into the church. I was passing by the ladies room, when I heard someone cursing aloud. I smiled to myself. There was only one person besides me who would curse that loudly in such a holy place like this.
I knocked at the door, pretending I didn’t know who was behind it. “Is everything okay, ma’am? Do you need any help?”
“Just get in here, Oliver!”
I opened the door and saw Jillian standing in front of a mirror, fighting with a long zipper on her back.
“Nice dress,” I said, stunned. I wasn’t joking, the dress was really amazing. Long and black, with a low v-cut on the back. It fit Jill like a glove and for a moment, I thought if I were a priest, I would send my dignity to hell at the sight of such an unholy dress.
“Would you please stop staring at my ass and help me with the dress instead?”
“Right, sorry.” I came to stand behind her, carefully took the trigger and pulled the zipper up.
God, she smelled like roses, with just a few barely noticeable notes of citrus; my heart started beating faster in my chest. Locks of
her hair fell down over one of her shoulders, opening the view of her amazing neck that I suddenly wanted to kiss.
“Done?” She asked quietly just a moment before my lips could touch her skin.
I swallowed, taking a step back. “Yes.”
“Thanks.” She looked at me through the mirror and we both froze in the awkward silence.
“You look great,” I finally said. It was so weird to see her now. As if we haven’t seen each other not just a few days, but a few years ago. She looked different today, more like a stranger than the woman that I loved so much.
“You look good too.” She turned around and smiled slightly. “I guess it’s the first time that I have seen you in a tux.”
“Yeah, well, I like jeans more.”
“I know,” she said, apparently regretting the words the moment they were said. “I think we should go before anyone starts looking for us.”
I nodded and followed her wordlessly to the door.
“Ugh, you guys are hopeless!” Joss was standing right behind the door. “Even I think that a church is not the best place for a quickie.”
“It’s not what you think, Sis. Jill needed some help with her dress, so I only did what she asked me to do.”
“Oh, I’m sure you are an expert in women’s dresses, Oliver. I bet you can even take them off with your hands tied behind your back.”
“It’s really not what you think, Joss,” Jillian said, looking at me briefly.
“I told you, girl, having a fling with my brother wouldn’t do you any good.”
“I remember that.”
“Wait, why would you say that?” I stared at Josseline.
“Do I really need to answer that question?”
“Okay, guys, can you leave your family disputes for later? I think that the bride and the groom are probably tired of waiting for us.”
I looked angrily at my sister and went to find Dom, still unable to believe that she talked shit about me to Jill. I was her brother, for crying out loud! I would never tell anyone anything bad about her, even though I knew that my sister was far from an exemplary good girl.
“You okay? What happened?” Dominick asked in a whisper, when I stood next to him. Apparently, my anger was still written all over my face, and I couldn’t hide it.
“I’m fine,” I snapped, loosening the damn tie that was about to suffocate me.
“I guess you saw Jillian.”
“I did.”
“And?”
“Why don’t you focus on your wedding instead of grilling me?”
“As you wish.” He smiled, switching his attention back to the guests.
About fifteen minutes later the ceremony started. Everything was perfect, the bride looked amazing in a Vera Wang dress with an extremely long train trailing down the aisle, and a veil decorated with stitching and small shining crystals. I don’t think I had ever seen my brother happier than he was at that moment. It looked like he couldn’t see anything but his bride, looking at her with the eyes that were full of so much love.
My eyes met Jill’s and I would give almost anything to know what she was thinking about right then.
Dom started saying his vows, “Don’t be afraid of hurricanes, I will be your shelter. Don’t be afraid of the snow and wind, I will be there to embrace and warm you with my love. Don’t be afraid of the darkness, I will be your light. And if one day you feel like crying, don’t be afraid of showing me your tears. I will kiss them all away. From now on, I promise to cherish and love you for as long as my heart is beating and even longer, if what they call afterlife really exists. Because I’m sure that even there, I will keep looking for you, until I see you smiling at me again. I give you this ring as a sign of my love, and I promise to make you the happiest woman in the world, or at least I will try my best to make these words come true.” Then he put the ring on Scarlett’s finger and she took another ring to do the same.
“The day I realized I couldn’t live without you, I thought I was out of my mind,” she said, and all the guests laughed, including Jill and me. We were still looking at each other, and I don’t know why, but I felt like with every passing second, the distance between us became even greater.
“But I think even back at that time I knew that I would never be able to love anyone as much I loved you. And now, I know it for sure, because I can’t imagine anyone else sharing this very moment with me. I love you more than any woman has ever loved a man, and I swear to love you as long as I can breathe, or even longer, if what they call afterlife really exists.” They smiled at each other, and Scarlett put a ring on Dom’s finger.
Father George announced them husband and wife and all the guests applauded, watching them kiss.
***
“Let me just say that I never expected you two to go that far,” I said, hugging my brother and then kissed Scarlett on both cheeks. “Courage, man, I’m sure this beautiful lady will do her best to show you who’s the boss around here.”
“He already knows that,” Scarlett said, laughing.
Jillian was the next person to congratulate them. “I’m so happy for you,” she said to her best friend. I could see tears glistening in her eyes. “As for you, Dominick, I hope you will be a good guy and won’t ever hurt my friend. Because if you do, you will have to deal with me. Is that clear?”
“Crystal.” Dom smiled at her.
“Good, now where can I get a glass of champagne?” Jill looked around the room and pointed to a table with drinks on it. “There it is! See you later, guys.”
I watched her walk away, and again, I couldn’t help but admire her dress, outlining her every curve and making the desire in me even harder to suppress.
“Oliver, could you keep an eye on her, please?” Scarlett said. “I’m afraid her love for champagne tonight will end up in a bathroom.”
Dom smiled sympathetically. “Go. Maybe if you leave your dirty jokes aside, she will even agree to dance with you.”
“Hardly possible,” I muttered, heading for the table with drinks.
I caught Jill’s hand just as she was about to take another glass. “How about we slow down a little?”
She turned around, a little surprised to see me. “It’s not that I’m going to get drunk and go dance on the table.”
“Anything is possible. Especially if you keep emptying glass after glass.”
“Oh, come on, Oliver! It’s a wedding, not a funeral.”
“Exactly. We don’t need a motionless body here.”
She sighed, crossing her arms. “When the hell did you manage to turn into such a bore-me-to-death guy? What happened to my favourite, old Oliver, who never knew the limits of anything?”
“Who said I didn’t have limits?”
“Wasn’t it obvious?”
“Maybe you just didn’t give me a chance to prove differently?”
She shrugged, turning back to the drinks. “Whatever.”
I shook my head, frustrated. There was no way we would ever be able to make it work.
“Have fun,” I said, before leaving. Obviously, there was no point in trying to come to an understanding with Jillian.
Why was it so hard to stop pretending? Why couldn’t we just be honest with each other? Was our stubbornness more important than what we felt for each other? I was only sure about my feelings for her, and I could only guess about the reasons for her sudden desire to get totally smashed tonight.
I kept watching Jillian out of the corner of my eye. Apparently, she listened to my advice and was now dancing and laughing instead of drinking non-stop. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was absolutely happy. She looked like she didn’t care about anything in the world, but enjoying the night. She smiled at the guys, asking her for a dance, shared some meaningful talks with them, and not even once dared to look at me. And I… Well, I wanted nothing more than to be with her again. And the only thing that stopped me from kissing her right away, was the fact that I had a flight to L.A. scheduled for seven o’c
lock in the morning. I knew that even if we spent this night together, we would need to go separate ways tomorrow, and I didn’t want to spend the next week with a drink in my hands again.
One night wouldn’t change anything, because unfortunately, there were too many things apart from sex that we needed to talk about, and I was sure that getting into one bed would only end up with crazy sex and nothing else. But there was also that part of me that wouldn’t let me leave just like that.
Just one dance, I said to myself, walking over to Jillian. She was talking to Scarlett, so even if she was going to blow me off, my sister-in-law would be the only witness of my humiliation.
“Would you do me an honour and share a dance with me, Miss Murano?”
Scarlett giggled and walked aside, leaving us alone.
First, Jillian didn’t say anything. She looked at me thoughtfully, as if it was the first time she saw me and was trying to figure out something about me.
“Tell me, Mr. Altier, is it the first time that you wanted to ask me for a dance tonight?”
“No.”
“Then where the hell have you been the entire night?”
“I didn’t want to be slapped in public.”
She burst out laughing. “You really thought I would slap you in the face for asking me for a dance?”
“Well, yeah?”
“You are such an idiot, Oliver. Come on, let’s dance.”
She took me by the hand and we went to the dance floor with just a few other couples dancing there. Déjà vu…
I didn’t know if she was too tired to fight with me, but I was kind of surprised to know that she had been waiting for my invitation for the entire night.
“Why didn’t you come to me first?” I asked, wrapping one arm around her waist.
“Why would I? You are supposed to be a gentleman, remember? Even though I doubt you know how to be one.”
“I missed you,” I said, surprising both of us by my sudden change of topic.
