Finishing The Job

by Harley Fox

  “Well shit, you guys can stay for one beer, can’t you?”

  The rest of the Chains agree, moving over, making room on the couches. Ruby gets up and comes over to the bar, going behind it, grabbing more bottles of beer.

  “Jake, you sure you don’t want to join us?” she asks me.

  “Yeah Jake, come on over and sit with us!” Dave calls out.

  “Ah, no. No, thanks,” I say.

  “How’s your girlfriend doing?” Beaner asks me. “The pregnant one, right? Is she all right?”

  I swallow. “She’s fine.”

  “She went into a false labor,” Jeremy tells him. “We thought she was going to have the baby.”

  “Ah, fuckin’ shame what happened,” Olly says. Everybody nods. “That fucking Will Silver.”

  Ruby leaves the bar and hands the bottles of beer around. The Slingers all twist off their caps, tossing them on the table. Just as they’re about to drink Aces holds up a hand.

  “Wait, you guys! We should make a toast!” She looks at me. “Jake and Merryn cleaned up our bar. They took care of us. We were all wrecked out of our minds. But they came and they got us better. Sobered us up.” She lifts her bottle and the rest do the same. Everybody does it. “To Jake and Merryn.”

  A chorus: “Jake and Merryn.”

  I lift my bottle too and take a drink along with everybody else. But it tastes like nothing. Beaner lowers his bottle, looks at it.

  “Actually Jake,” he says, “the bunch of us were thinking. Kash, sorry you weren’t in on this conversation, but we feel like you might appreciate it. Jake … we were thinking, about all the drugs and stuff. Well … last night and this morning, the way you and Merryn helped us … it was like a wake up call. We were in the pits. After we buried Skeeze when we went back to the bar …” He shakes his head. “It’s like we didn’t even recognize it. You guys made us see the hole we’d dug ourselves into. And we were thinking … well, we were thinking of trying to go clean.”

  Kash isn’t looking at him, but she nods her head. Mandy, beside her, claps a hand on her shoulder.

  “That Merryn of yours, she’s got some place where people can go and get themselves sober, right? We’ve heard about it. Heard people talking. She does good work, it sounds like. Everybody likes her. Well,” he looks around at the other Slingers, “we were thinking that maybe, when she’s feeling better … we were thinking of going in ourselves. Trying to get clean.” He smiles. “Can you tell Merryn she can expect us? And thank her, for everything she did?”

  Why won’t this stop? They’re all looking at me, waiting for a response, waiting for me to say something, to congratulate them on their decision, to tell them that sure, I’ll tell her about it, she’ll be so happy to hear from you.

  They all look so happy. So expectant. They’re going to find out sooner or later. I open my mouth.

  “Actually Beaner, I uh … I, um … I can’t tell her to expect you. You’ll have to tell her yourself, when you go in.”

  Their smiles all slip. They all look confused.

  “You can’t tell her? Is something wrong?”

  “I, uh … well, I … I actually kicked her out.”

  You could hear a pin drop. Kash has lifted her gaze from the floor and she’s looking at me now.

  “You kicked her out?” Mandy repeats. “What do you mean?”

  “She went behind my back,” I start. “She went to Will Silver and put herself in danger, got him to know about our plan to attack him.”

  Several people start speaking at once.

  “Went behind your back?”

  “That woman loves you, Jake.”

  “What do you mean, she’s on the street now?”

  “Look,” I say, “I can’t trust her after that. Okay? Will Silver is my enemy. She fraternized with him, and, and she … she put herself in danger …”

  “Jake, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Ruby asks.

  “How can you do that? How can you just throw her away like that?”

  “After all she’s done for you!”

  “That woman was perfect for you, Jake.” Abby speaking now. “I don’t understand you. All you talk about is the gang as a family, us relying on one another. But Merryn makes one little slip-up and you throw her out of your life?”

  Every time I try to think of an argument, it doesn’t hold up in my mind. I can’t remember why I did what I did. My anger. It acted without me. Everybody’s yelling. I slide off the bar stool onto my feet.

  “I have to go,” I say, but they’re still arguing.

  “Explain yourself, Jake!”

  “How could you do that? To the mother of your child!”

  I move to the front door and push it open, their yells and criticisms following me out until I walk away from it all to my bike. I climb on. I feel so lonely. Everybody hates me. I just want to go home and crawl into bed and let Merryn hold me, feel her arms wrap around me and …

  Oh. Right.

  Lance

  Getting Merryn to Trista’s was hardly any problem. Merryn didn’t say anything the entire time. I carried all three boxes in, Trista telling me to just leave them on the floor of the hallway, at the top of the stairs. Trista thanked me when I was done, and Merryn did too, again. I told them to call me if they needed anything, and then I left her apartment, got back into my car, and drove away.

  Now I’m heading for the Thirsty Sister. I haven’t spoken to Katie since I called her at the hospital. Helping Merryn out took a lot longer than I’d anticipated. I hope Katie’s still there. My foot works the gas pedal hard as I dip in and out of traffic. Soon I see the bar in the distance. The lack of vehicles outside makes my heart drop.

  I pull into the parking lot anyways, get out, go inside. It’s quiet in here, and I quickly scan around. There, sitting in a booth, is Katie. She looks over and sees me. She’s with somebody. A guy. My heart skips a beat. Already? But when the guy turns his head I see it’s Flynn and my heart skips a beat again, but for a different reason.

  I walk over. Katie gets out from the booth and stands. I stop in front of her.

  “Katie,” I say before she can say anything. “I’m sorry. I was … an idiot. I made a mistake, letting my emotions get the best of me. Putting our job before our love. Look: you can believe whatever you want. And I’ll believe whatever I want. That’s fine. We don’t have to agree on everything. But I love you, Katie. I don’t want to be without you. I saw another couple, what happened when they let their emotions get the best of them, and their pride. I don’t want that to happen to us. I don’t ever want to be without you again.” Remembering, “Also, Samantha and I didn’t sleep together. I wasn’t lying about that. She wanted to, but nothing happened.”

  I stop talking. Katie looks up at me. God, she looks so beautiful. She’s breathing steadily, her eyes locked onto mine.

  “I love you too, Lance,” she finally says.

  My face breaks open in a smile, and I sweep her up in my arms, planting my lips onto hers. I can hear her breath hitching, feel her body shudder as she starts to cry, but I hold her all the same, hold her in my arms, never intending to let go again.

  Our kiss finally breaks off and Katie’s cheeks are glistening with tears. She wipes them away, giving a laugh.

  “I’m sorry,” she says, sniffing, dropping her head to hide the tears. I lift her chin up with my finger.

  “You have no reason to be sorry,” I tell her. “I’ll love you no matter how snotty you get.”

  That makes her laugh again. Down on the table, at her place, is a napkin. I pick it up and hand it to her, which she uses to dab at her eyes, blow her nose. When she’s done I kiss her again, more gently this time. She kisses me back.

  I turn and finally acknowledge Flynn. He’s still sitting, clearly uncertain whether he should look away or not.

  “Flynn,” I say. “I didn’t know you were here.”

  Katie slides back into the booth and I follow, sitting beside her. Flynn tilts his head, shruggi
ng his shoulders.

  “Yeah, well … Trista and I had a fight. I told Katie about it. I decided I needed a walk, and I remembered she mentioned this place. So I came here, and Katie was here, so we’ve been talking. We had lunch together too.”

  Katie’s nodding. “It’s interesting, they actually had a really similar fight to the one we had.”

  “Yeah, I heard about it,” I tell him, and Flynn furrows his brow.

  “What do you mean? From who?”

  It’s then that I realize: they have no idea what happened at the Bullets’ warehouse.

  “From Trista,” I tell him. “It’s been a bit of a busy morning.”

  So I tell them what happened. How I actually tried calling Flynn when Katie got out of the car, then how I went to Trista’s and met her there. How we got the call out of nowhere from Merryn.

  “Who’s Merryn?” Katie asks, and Flynn nods, also wanting to know.

  “Merryn’s the girlfriend of Jake, the guy from the Chains. He also had a whole plan to kill Will Silver … he’s not very popular, it seems. Anyway, Merryn knew Will somehow, so that’s why they were together.”

  “Jake’s the one who came and attacked us yesterday,” Flynn tells Katie, and she nods.

  I go on, telling them how we were tipped off about Will Silver, and how we all showed up at the same time.

  “It was like a perfect storm,” I say. “Nobody knew why anybody else was there. And then, when Merryn showed up with Will, Jake’s little sister, this girl who’s on crutches and her arms and legs are all … twisted around.”

  “Yeah,” Flynn says, and Katie’s eyes widen.

  “I’ve seen her around,” she says. “I think she was taking pictures on the sidewalk.”

  I nod. “That makes sense. She had a camera around her neck. Well, Will just up and shot her.” Their eyes both widen. “She’s all right,” I tell them. “The camera stopped the bullet. But then Merryn had contractions and a gunfight broke out. One of the Slingers got shot in the head. He was the only one who died, thank God. But Will … I got him in the arm. I can hardly remember it, it’s all a blur. I was yelling … about Danny, and Nathan Willow. Will was so dismissive of the whole thing.” I shake my head. “I wanted to kill him, like, how he killed Danny. My little brother,” to Flynn. He nods. “Anyway, Will ran away, and got away. I helped take Merryn and Jake’s sister to the hospital. And then, Jake got into a fight with Merryn and he kicked her out.”

  “He kicked her out?” Katie asks. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, Jake was living with his pregnant girlfriend and he kicked her out of their apartment. I had to help pack up her things and take her to Trista’s. That’s why I was so late getting here.”

  Flynn blinks at the table. “Trista is … taking care of the girlfriend of one of the Chains?”

  I shift in my seat. “Um, yeah.”

  He keeps looking at the table but he doesn’t say anything. I look at Katie and she gives me a pained look.

  “I’m glad you’re okay,” she says. She shakes her head. “I was so stupid today. Flip-flopping around like that. And accusing you of sleeping with Samantha.”

  “It’s okay,” I tell her. “This has been a pretty messed up time for everyone.”

  “So … what do we do now?”

  I shrug. “We can do whatever we want. We could leave for Thailand, if you wanted. The only person I have here is you. You’d have to tell your sister.” And here Katie blanches. “What?”

  “I didn’t tell you … I actually talked to Amanda. After we were at the diner, before you picked me up. I walked to her house and I … told her what I’ve been doing since I stopped practicing.”

  “Oh,” I say. “How did she take it?”

  She’s tearing up again. “Not well. She also kicked me out. She told me that what I was doing — what we were doing, ultimately — was selfish. I guess I went there trying to make myself feel better. Like getting confirmation for what we were planning. But it didn’t turn out that way at all.”

  I take her hand in mine.

  “It’s a tough line of work to explain to people,” I tell her. “I learned a long time ago to keep silent about it. People don’t like the idea of other people dying, even if it’s for the best of reasons. They want to prolong life, even if it’s at the cost of so many other things.”

  Katie shakes her head. “I don’t know if she’s going to forgive me.”

  “She will. It’ll just take time. You telling her probably came as a shock.”

  Katie nods and sniffs, picks up her napkin again to dab at her eyes.

  I look over at Flynn. He looks lost in his own world.

  “Flynn,” I say, and he snaps his head up. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah. I’m just thinking.”

  Katie sniffs again, her eyes dry now.

  “About Trista?” she asks, and Flynn nods.

  “I just don’t understand her sometimes,” he says, shaking his head. “What happened in the desert was horrible, but … I don’t know. It felt like she was trying to push me away. When I went with her to her apartment, after we were at the hospital … it felt like I was a stranger there, you know? Like I was in her way, no matter what I did.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I was in the same boat as Katie. I didn’t want to try killing Will anymore. I just wanted to leave. Thailand sounds like a nice idea.” He tries out a smile, and I return it, but his quickly falls away. “I just wanted to be with her, though. And then she was accusing me of not wanting to help her, and that’s not true, I just …”

  “It’s hard,” Katie says, and I realize this probably isn’t the first time they’ve talked about this. “Both exposing yourself to somebody you love, opening up to them and telling them what you want, and being told that that isn’t enough.”

  Flynn nods. “Yeah. It’s hard.” He picks up the glass of beer in front of him and takes a drink, sets it back down. “What should I do?”

  “What do you want to do?” Katie asks. “What do you want, out of all of this?”

  “I want to be with Trista,” he answers right away. A pause. “Or … at least … I think I do.”

  “Sometimes we love the things that aren’t the best for us,” she says. I glance at her but she’s focused on Flynn. “But you have to decide whether it’s her you love or the idea of her. We tend to romanticize those things, tell ourselves how much more fun or interesting life would be if only we had them, like access to endless amounts of money. But those fantasies only work out best in our brains. In real life, it’s not nearly as glamorous.”

  “Are you saying I should end things with her?” Flynn asks. Katie’s expression remains neutral.

  “I’m saying you should decide if your relationship with her is worth it. If your life would be better pursuing somebody who might not want to be pursued, or if it would be better without her.”

  Flynn doesn’t say anything. He just nods. Silence goes by, with neither Katie nor I wanting to interrupt Flynn’s thinking.

  Finally he looks up at us, takes in a deep breath.

  “Sorry,” he says.

  Katie shakes her head. “Nothing to be sorry about. Love is confusing sometimes.”

  “Yeah … love … well, you know,” he suddenly slides himself out of the booth, standing up. I get out too, Katie following. “I think I’ve got some stuff to figure out. Clear my head a bit, you know?”

  “Do you need a ride anywhere?” I ask him. “I have my car.”

  “No, no … thanks,” he says. “I think I’ll just walk.” He looks at Katie. “Thanks for your help, Katie.”

  “It was my pleasure,” Katie says. She extends a hand and they shake, Flynn and I doing the same after. He takes out his wallet and pulls a couple of bills out, puts them on the table.

  “Well … maybe I’ll see you guys around.” And with that he turns and leaves by the front door.

  It’s just Katie and me now. I look at her.

  “So … want to go back to
our place?”

  She smiles, then leans up and gives me a long, slow kiss.

  “Absolutely,” she whispers, taking my hand and leading me out the door.

  Jake

  I turn my bike off and park it, getting off and stepping up to my front door. Opening it up I go in and walk up the stairs, feeling the entire weight of my body and mind pulling me down, trying to suck me into the earth. I need to rest. To sleep and think and try to figure out what I’m going to—

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  Emily’s voice, from the couch. I look over and she’s sitting on it, her face streaked with tears, her eyes red and puffy and shining.

  “Why the fuck did you do that? Kicking Merryn out? How fucking heartless can you be?”

  “Emily—” I start, but she cuts me off.

  “Oh no, you don’t get to say anything,” she yells. “She didn’t mean anything by what she did! What, do you think she was in cahoots with Will Silver or something?”

  “No, I—”

  “Shut up! I don’t understand you, Jake! She … she was everything to you! And you just threw her out, like she was a piece of garbage! What about the last eight months, huh? Did that mean nothing to you? She was the only one — the only one — who could deal with you! Who could handle you and your neverending bullshit!”

  She takes a moment, breathing hard.

  “Do you know where she went?” she asks. I don’t respond. “Trista took her. Trista. Your fucking enemy. She volunteered to take Merryn in. How does that make you feel, huh? Even one of the fucking Bullets has more of a heart than you do.”

  She’s with Trista. The woman I kidnapped. The woman I was ready to kill yesterday. I remember taking my gun out on her. Why did I want to kill her, again? I can’t seem to remember.

  Emily wipes at her eyes. She’s unable to stem the constant flow of tears.

  “Did you even think about anyone other than yourself? Huh? Did you?”

  She waits, staring at me, daggers from her eyes. I feel so tired. So empty and tired.

  “She betrayed me,” I start to say in a weak voice, but Emily cuts me off with a harsh laugh.