Love Beyond Words

by Dani René

  The contact sends a zip of electricity through me and I’m sure he felt it too because his gaze snaps to mine instantly. “Get out of that grumpy head of yours,” I tease, which earns me a killer smile. His lips curl seductively, and I’m not sure if it’s the wine, or just my hiatus from sex, but I wonder what it would be like to kiss him.

  “It seems we both have a few demons to work through,” he muses, mirth shining in his stare. “How about you trust me to help you, and I’ll trust you to help me?” he questions.

  Swallowing the last of my wine, I nod. “Sounds like a plan. I must warn you, however, I can be hard work,” I tease and am awarded with his deep chuckle. His laugh is contagious, and I find myself giggling. It’s been so long since I laughed that I don’t recognize the sound.

  “You have a beautiful laugh and an amazing smile, little lady. You should show it more often,” he coaxes, his hand still in mine. The heat emanating from him is like the sun beaming on a hot summer’s day, and I want to bask in it.

  “Only if you promise to do the same,” I retort playfully, and he nods in agreement.

  “It’s a deal.” He raises his hand and we shake on it, but when he releases his hold, I miss the warmth he gives so freely. In that moment, I miss Con and even though I love Heath’s company, I wish it was Con, the man I’ve fallen in love with, sitting across from me, giving me his handsome smile. Or what I would imagine his smile to be.

  Con,

  Are you professing what I think you are? You know I’d meet you tomorrow, but is it wise? Do you think you’d even want to spend time with me? There’s so much you don’t know about me, my life. Sometimes I wonder if this, us, is just something that we should keep anonymous. Something that we can escape to when we need it. When the normal daily lives we lead become too much.

  You’re my escape. You’re the person I run to when life is too much. I suppose if I’m writing stories of everlasting love, then what we’ve just told each other is what I long for. What I yearn for. Not to run away from, but to run toward.

  It’s not easy for me to pick up and walk away from the life I was born into. However much I’d love to spend time with you, to get to know you, to touch your face. To feel your smile when you kiss me. Have I imagined kissing you? Yes. But you’re so much older than me, matured beyond my years. How could you love me?

  I suppose that’s a silly question because then I’d have to ask myself, how can I love you. I don’t have any answers for you, but I can give you me for as long as you want. I don’t want to walk away and not have you there to talk to. Perhaps that makes me selfish, not wanting you to move on when you are released.

  Kids used to say I’m a spoiled brat, someone who always gets what she wants. And I did. I never wanted for anything in life, but this time the only thing I want, I may possibly never have.

  Yours,

  Twig x

  It’s as if all my dreams have come true tonight. To be able to see the sparkle in her eyes and hear the soft, melodic giggle that tumbles from her lips—both these actions have now ingrained themselves in my heart, jump starting it to a rhythm only for her. “So you’re going to be working on the ranch as well?” I question, taking a gulp of my third beer of the night. She nods slowly while sipping her wine.

  “I’ll be looking for work writing, but for now, Mags has asked for me to help her with the kids who come for riding classes. I have to make them lunch and get refreshments ready for breaks.” Her hazel eyes turn gold when she’s excited. She’s so beautiful it’s painful to look at her.

  “And you’re a writer?” I prompt and I know it’s wrong. I should tell her who I am, but her carefree attitude scares me because I wonder, if she knew who I really was, would she feel the same?

  Yes, she told me she loves me, but that was when I was a figment of her imagination. Someone she’d never meet. Now that I sit here, a living, breathing man, I’m not sure she’ll feel the same. Insecurity feeds my thoughts and I decide to wait. I’ll tell her, just not tonight.

  “I am. I’ve loved words most of my life. Getting lost in a book, in a story or made up world. My childhood was…it wasn’t easy, so I retreated within my own mind and made up the friends I loved.” She smiles ruefully. “That’s when I met—”

  I wait anxiously for her to mention me, but when she doesn’t continue, I question, “Met who?” I hope my voice is even and she doesn’t notice how my hands shake with fear that she’s about to rip my heart out. Thankfully, my Twig gives me the answer that has hope flourishing in my chest.

  “I met someone I fell in love with, but…well, I don’t know where he is.” She seems sad and gulps her drink faster.

  “And if he walked in here right now, what would you do?” My gaze locks on hers. The thud of my heartbeat deafens me and I take a long gulp of beer. She shrugs and the sadness in her gaze makes me want to drag her across the table and hold her.

  “Honestly,” she sighs, “I don’t know. The thing is, he’s never seen me, and I’ve never seen him. Maybe he’s married. Maybe he sees me and wonders what he could want with me.”

  “He’d be blind not to want you.” My words are heated and her eyes snap to mine. Sitting back, my attempt at calm conversation just flew out the fucking window. “I mean, you’re a beautiful woman. He’d be stupid to not want you.” Clearing my throat, I force myself to look away because her big doe eyes are peering at me, almost begging me to…what? Kiss her?

  A small laugh falls from her lips and I can’t stop myself from staring at her again. “He’s not contacted me since he… I mean since he got back.” Her brows furrow and she twirls her glass, not meeting my gaze.

  “Have you contacted him?” Her wry smile is almost sad. Maybe she does want to meet.

  I can make that happen, Sunshine.

  I would love to make it happen.

  “No, maybe I’ll email him tonight.” She gulps the last of her wine and pushes to stand up. “Another?” She points at my beer and I nod. When she turns to walk to the bar, I can’t stop myself from staring at the way her jeans mold to her pert little ass. She’s incredible, all woman, with sensual curves and an ass I’d love to grip as I pull her against me.

  Jesus, I need to calm down.

  My glance flits out the window and I find myself imagining what it would be like when she found out who I am. The way her eyes would light up. I’ve pictured her all these years and the actual woman is so much more than I could ever come up with in my mind.

  I’ve been lonely, I’ve been broken, I’ve been locked in the dark, but her smile lights my way.

  Since she shared my seat on the bus, I knew this woman was something special. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d see Twig, nor get to meet the woman who changed my life, who made me more of a man than the animal they said I was.

  Everything was taken from me. I’d lost the first chapter of my life, when I was thrown in a cage, but now that I have a chance at a real life, and possibly love, I’m going to grasp it with both hands.

  When she joins me again, a small tray is placed on our table and I take in the shot glasses with clear liquid in them. “What’s this then?”

  I pick one up and I realize as soon as I give it a sniff it’s tequila. Nectar of Satan himself.

  I recall many nights being wasted after finishing too many shots.

  “A celebratory drink.” She winks and it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are shining with amusement. The deep honey is darker, like chestnuts, warm and alluring. Everything about her is temptation and if I was any other man I’d have her beneath me tonight. But I have to do right by her. It’s been fifteen years and here I am, completely and utterly smitten.

  “Well, we better get these finished, so I can get the next round, darling’.” Clinking our glasses, I down mine in one long gulp and feel the burn of the alcohol. This stuff is so fucking nasty that I cringe. Her giggle breaks through and when I open my eyes, she’s staring at me. She hadn’t
yet sat down and is now standing close to me. Too close. Without a word, she steps between my open legs and twines her arms around my neck.

  The jukebox changes and Blake Shelton sings about Sangria. “Come on, Mr. Grumpy, dance with me.” She giggles, pulling me from the chair and we move to the small wooden dance floor as she wiggles to the tune. Her body is hypnotic and I find myself chuckling while letting go of the past and everything that’s hurt me. With her around, nothing else matters and I feel drunk, not from the alcohol I’ve consumed, but from her beauty.

  She grabs my hands and pulls me along behind her. We’re the only people in the bar who don’t look like we belong, or are part of the decoration. I tug her against me. Her breasts are squashed against my chest and I let the lyrics propel me forward, and my mouth crashes against hers. She tastes like white wine and tequila. Sweet, potent, and venomous and I know this kiss is going to kill me. Our tongues dance to our own song, licking and tasting the other. She’s everything I knew I wanted, but she’s nothing like I’d imagined. She’s better.

  It’s as if time has stopped and the only people here are the two of us. In our own bubble. In our own world. As I break the kiss, I take her in, her cheeks are rosy and her beautiful lips are swollen. The slight redness on her chin from my beard is evidence enough that this woman is mine. Marked. Not in the way I’d like just yet, but it will do for now.

  We sway to the song and I twirl her around, her giggle is better than any music I’ve ever heard. Like a soft rustling river that calms every worry and eliminates every fear—every bad memory—because that’s her magical way. Twig.

  Twig,

  I want you to stop doubting yourself. Don’t ever put yourself down. Look inside yourself, dig deep. You see that light? That incredible flame that burns in your soul, that’s what I love about you. I’ve never laid eyes on you, I’ve never seen your hair or eye color. I don’t know what you look like when you smile or cry, but I know your soul, your heart. I’ve gotten to know what matters.

  There are so many people out there wanting someone who’s perfect on the outside. But I don’t. I want something deeper, that thing that tethers people to each other. A string of emotion, binding you to another, not in a physical sense, but rather by souls. Would you accept that, Sunshine? Would you allow me to tether myself to you? Or have I already?

  I get out of this hole in only a few months. My plan is to go somewhere quiet, small, somewhere nobody knows me. Where I can start over. So I can be the man I know I am rather than the person they told me I am. The man you know.

  Twig, when I get out of here, I’ll find you. Even if it’s just one day, I want to see you, hold you. To feel your radiance and taste your happiness. I want to slip my hand in yours. I want to stare into your eyes and look into the beauty of your soul.

  Do I sound like a wuss? Perhaps I do, but as my time in here comes to an end, all I think about is you. And what it would be like to be beside you. To finally hear your voice.

  Yours,

  Con x

  The barman calls to us, telling us that he’s about to close up.

  “Thanks, man.” Heath waves, then helps me shrug on the small jacket I brought along. As we make our way up the road, I feel the effect of the alcohol buzzing through my system. Even though the evening is humid, I still feel a little chilly as a shiver runs down my spine. “You cold, Sunshine?”

  The word startles me and I stop in my tracks. Staring at Heath, I wish on the stars that twinkle above us that he could be Con, but I know it’s impossible. The man before me is a stranger, someone who seems to have walked into my life when I needed it most.

  “A little,” I finally whisper.

  “What’s up? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I shrug. Do I tell him about the nickname? It’s purely coincidental, I know, but I feel like I owe it to him to explain.

  “My…the man…he used to call me Sunshine.” My voice is raspy and I hate that I’m in love with a man I’ll probably never be with. I drag my gaze up and meet Heath’s dark eyes.

  “You’re beautiful. Perfect.” His words are soft spoken, sweet and endearing. I’m not perfect though, I walked out on my fiancé to find out who I am, and instead of finding the one man that has always held my heart, I’m in the arms of another.

  He reaches up and strokes my cheek tenderly and the tension, emotion, whatever you want to call it that’s between us, is heavy in the dark night. I shouldn’t let Heath touch me, but I do. His fingertips are smooth and rough all at the same time. The way he touches me makes me forget everything.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” I murmur and giggle at the way his mouth gapes in shock. He slips his hand in mine and turns.

  “Let’s get you home.” Home. The concept has always been foreign to me, but since I arrived here I’ve felt more at ease with myself than I ever have before.

  The ranch is silent and I suddenly have an idea. “Let’s go in there.” I point to the stables and Heath stares at me like I’ve just told him I want to run across the field naked.

  “You need to sleep off all those tequila shots,” he grumbles, but I tug him along behind me. My carefree attitude rubs off on him when he follows without me having to pull him. It’s quiet and the smell of hay hits my nose immediately.

  We walk all the way through and find the opposite exit and the clump of trees just behind the house. Under the full moon, everything is illuminated in silvery blue. “It’s so pretty,” I murmur, more to myself than him, but he stops, halting me in my tracks.

  I spin around to find a hungry gaze piercing me. “You’re pretty.” He smirks and I can’t stop the flutter in my stomach. Ronan never told me I was pretty, not like this. The way Heath says it, it’s as if he’s not talking about my eyes, or my hair, or the clothes I’m wearing, but the inner appearance of me. The heart and soul I have locked away.

  He closes the distance between us and the scent of his cologne intoxicates my senses. When he releases my hand, I find myself pouting, but he grips my hips and tugs me against him. “Heath.” Placing my palms on his chest, I feel the beat of his heart below my right hand. A steady rhythm and I wonder if it will beat faster if he kisses me again or if he… No. I can’t do this. Can I?

  He leans in and my lips part. My own heart thuds wildly and my body aches to be touched. To be stroked, pleasured, tasted. Soft, full lips brush against mine so lightly that it causes me to shudder. “Sunshine, we don’t have to do this.” His words are a salve, and I know it’s time for me to move on. There’s something between Heath and I that I can’t deny. A chemistry that is clear as day.

  “I want to.” The hoarse whisper hangs between us in the air, thick with lust. His fingers dig into the soft flesh of my hips, but it doesn’t hurt—it feels as if he’s claiming me. Marking me as his. And I let him.

  Suddenly, thunder rolls in causing me to quake, but Heath’s strong arms hold me steady. “Let’s go inside before we get pelted.” I laugh, the first real one in such a long time. Before we can move, the heavens open and we’re drenched.

  “Shit,” I squeak and giggle. My clothes are stuck to me as we run into the stables which shelter us from the rain. When he turns to look at me, his dark chocolate eyes fall to my chest. I look down only to find my black bra shining through the wet material of my top. I step forward, my turn to eliminate the space between us.

  “Leah, there’s something—”

  “Don’t, don’t say anything, just…can we just not?” His eyes hold so many secrets, but his heart is right there, on his sleeve. This man disarms me. He opens me up and I don’t know how or why, but I want him to. I want him to lay me bare and uncover every secret.

  I twine my hands around his neck and reach up on my tiptoes to plant a soft kiss on his lips. The deep rumble that vibrates through his chest is all I hear before his tongue darts out and swipes along my lips. I open, allowing him in. Letting him taste me. And as our tongues swirl against each other, my body reacts, my blood heats, and the ache for him
intensifies. Every nerve in my body sparks and I feel alive. His hands slowly trail down my sides and around to my ass. He grips me, pulling me against him, and I can feel I affect him as much as he does me.

  “Heath,” I murmur against his lips. He stops, pulling back to regard me. “I want you.” I’ve never told a man that I wanted him. Never been so bold as to ask a man to take me to bed, but in this moment, I need it.

  “I want you too, Sunshine. So much.” He lifts me against him and I wrap my legs around his taught waist. His slightly greying hair is tangled in my fingers. “You’re a lady, sweetheart, I don’t want to take you in a stable.” He growls as he walks us to the house in the falling rain. He stops at the door, and I reach back to open it. Once we’re inside, he doesn’t stop. He heads up the stairs and straight to his bedroom.

  Without a word, he lays me on the bed and pulls his shirt off. He’s all man. There is no doubt he looks after himself. The ink that trails its way up his tanned arms and over his chest tells me there’s so much more to him than I know. He’s not ripped, but the tone of his abs and the sexy V that points to the bulge in his jeans are there, clear as day.

  The dark beard that adorns his jaw makes him look like a caveman. There’s a wild hunger in his stare and I push up, tugging my top off. He reaches down and unbuttons his jeans. Even though there isn’t a word spoken between us, we know what the other is about to do before they do it.

  I push my jeans down my legs and I hear a gasp. Glancing up, I take in the man before me who’s looking at me like I’m his world. Yes, there’s desire, but there’s something else. Something deeper than just lust.

  She’s beautiful. Fucking perfect. Her black bra and panties against her pale skin are enough to make a grown man drop to his knees and worship her. It’s been so long since I’ve been with a woman that I’m not sure how long I will last, but fuck, I need to make this good for her. I kneel on the bed and just look at her. “Heath?” Her voice is unsure, and I realize I need to say something.