The Graft

by Karen Woods

  There was her family – before she’d always been able to tap them for a few quid, but they’d told her straight that while she was still married to Tony, they wanted nothing to do with her. They’d put the block on any hand-outs a long time ago. No more food parcels, no clothes, nothing. She was banished from ever returning to the family home. Elsie’s parents were good people, they went to work and had a nice home. They were ashamed that their daughter had got herself hitched up with this dead-leg. Her father had pleaded with her not to marry Tony Clayton. He could see right through him and knew he was nothing but trouble. That scumbag could never give his daughter the life he wanted her to have and he knew without a shadow of doubt that it was him who got her dabbling in drugs too. He’d watched his daughter’s downfall over the years, and he was heartbroken that his little princess, who’d he’d watched grow up, was disappearing with every day that passed. She was a shell of her former self. Where was the daughter he’d once known, the happy go lucky-girl who’d always told him that she would change the world one day and help people in need. Elsie had robbed from her family and done things to them that she wasn’t proud of. The list was endless. Her father was the one who finally wiped his hands of her and carted her from the family home. He’d done everything to help her get clean, but she’d never once made him proud and turned her life around, she was a lost cause in his eyes, her life was set in stone now.

  Elsie shifted in her chair. Something needed to give in her life and quickly. She reached over, got the medicine bottle from the table to the left of her and twisted the lid off. She held it in her hand for a few seconds and closed her eyes before she necked it. This was her methadone, her way out of the mess that was her life. For six months now she’d been trying to get clean, but it was him, that cunt lying over there who always made her fuck up every time she could see a light at the end of the tunnel. He dragged her back to square one every time she was getting better. He never actually said it, but she knew deep down that he didn’t want her to get clean without him. She’d even told him they could do it together, go through it all as a team; the cold-turkey, the tremors, helping each other every step of the way, but he would never give it a go. He was weak. He always said he wasn’t ready, but he would never be ready. It was always one excuse after another.

  Elsie needed to make some big changes in her life if she was ever going to be normal again. She missed her family so much and she always dreamed of them being back in her life. Elsie often went and sat on the wall facing her parent’s house reminiscing about the good old days, the days when she was a young girl and she had a bright future ahead of her. She could see the back garden from where she sat, the place she used to sit with her friends and practice her handstands and cart-wheels. Frank had woken up now and she spoke to the family pet to help ease her frustration. This animal was the family therapist, everyone spoke to Frank about their problems. The poor thing, no wonder he was tired all the time. It was Elsie’s turn to bend his ear. She stroked the top of his head as she spoke. “Frank, you can see with your own two eyes what I have to put up with every single day. How can I help somebody who won’t help themselves? God knows I’ve tried, but he just takes the piss out of me and he thinks he can talk me round when he’s fucked up.” Frank circled on the spot which was a sign that he needed to go out for a walk. It was either that or he would shit near the front door, like he always did when he was bursting for a crap. Elsie could see the signs and struggled to get up from her seat, she wobbled to her feet. If she didn’t take the dog for a walk nobody would. She glanced over at her husband one last time and left the room with the dog following closely behind her. She would deal with him when she came back.

  *

  Emily sat on her bed, freezing. It was a scruffy room, but all her belongings were neat and tidy. Black mould crept along the ceiling, ripped wallpaper hung from the walls. The teenage girl lay on her bed and began texting on her phone, she was smiling as her fingers moved at speed. Her phone was her pride and joy and she never left it unattended. Her dad would have had it away without a shadow of doubt. He was like that; he’d nick anything to feed his habit when he was roasting for a fix. He’d done it before and he’d do it again given half the chance. He’d deny it, swear that black was blue to protest his innocence, but she knew deep inside he was the guilty party when anything went missing, he was never a good liar.

  Something was making Emily smile, she was blushing and rolling about on her bed. A few weeks ago, she’d started talking to a new guy on Facebook. He was gorgeous and she never thought that in a million years he would be interested in her. Alright, she’d made herself out to have a fabulous life and a career and she’d even told him she was eighteen to keep him interested, but what harm was she doing? It was just a bit of fun. Nobody was getting hurt and it helped her escape the shit life she was living every single day at home with these bunch of half-wits. Her heart skipped a beat every time she got a message alert on her phone. It was constant messaging, all day long and well into night.

  The guy had asked her to meet up a few times and she knew sooner or later she would have to tell him she wasn’t the person she’d made out to be. But she didn’t want this feeling to end, this fantasy world she was creating in her own head. It was perfect. The man complimented her all the time and he even called her “Babe”. She’d never had anybody who treated her like this. She felt loved, cared for, pretty and attractive for the first time in her life. Everything he said to her made her heart skip a beat and made her feel better about her shit, stinking life. Mark had sent a few snaps of himself over the last few weeks and he was still waiting on Emily to send one back, a recent one of herself. He was always asking for rude photographs if truth be told; snaps of her tits and other body parts but she’d never sent him any. Her boobs were too small anyway and to show anyone her swollen pink nipples was never on the agenda. They looked like two fried eggs. Not now, not ever. Her body parts were private, and they were staying like that. Well, for now anyway. Emily sat back and took a deep breath. It was time to take a selfie. She leaned one way then another, changing her expression with each snap, puckering her lips tightly together. She looked at each picture, examined every inch of them and once she’d changed filters and backgrounds she smiled. At last she found a photograph that was half decent. She cringed as she sent it over to Mark in a text message with two red love heart emoji’s at the side of it. Her mind was racing. What if he didn’t like her anymore? What if there were no more messages from him? Fuck, fuck fuck, she’d messed it all up.

  Her heart was racing and already she was regretting sending him a snap. She kept picking her phone up and checking it constantly. He was taking ages to reply, much longer than he normally did. It was over for sure; she had a gut feeling. Emily sat up on the bed and folded her arms tightly in front of her chest. She’d ruined it, she’d never hear from him again. Why did she ever send him the photograph? Her face said it all, she was gutted.

  Just as she was giving up, the phone vibrated. Her eyes were dancing with excitement. Taking deep breaths, she prepared herself for the worse. Her eyes scanned the text message. “You are gorgeous,” was the reply. She read the message over and over again and held her mobile phone close to her heart. Maybe Mark would be the man she would marry and have children with? The one who would take her away from this dump and give her the life she’d always wanted. Nice white fluffy bath towels, nice furniture and a home she could invite all her friends to and be proud of. No more threadbare carpets, no more ripped wallpaper hanging from the walls and no mouldy black fungus growing on the ceilings. No, she would have a lovely clean house that smelt fresh. There was no way her dad would be invited to her new home either, not while people were there anyway. He could come when she was alone, when nobody could see him.

  Emily started humming a tune and flopped down on the bed, she was staring at the ceiling, smiling. She was excited to tell Jane about Mark, she would be gobsmacked. Jane had been her best friend since they were babies an
d they were as thick as thieves. They were both in the circle of trust and knew each other inside out. Jane was a lot prettier than Emily and her family life was a million miles away from Emily’s. Both Jane’s parents worked, and her home was a palace compared with Emily’s. Jane’s mother loved to hear about the problems of her daughter’s friend, and she couldn’t wait to see her to get an update on her family life. She would sit on the edge of her seat, enthralled about the stories Emily told her. Her friend’s life was a million miles away from her own. When she told her friend’s mother about the loan sharks who knocked at their front door (every day for over a week) for the money her mother owed them, she was gobsmacked. She’d wondered how anyone could live like that. She’d asked why the family was borrowing money in the first place when they should have been managing the money they had. Jane’s mother was organised, every bill was paid on time, nothing ever out of place, she was a bit OCD really. Emily lay looking at the photo of Mark, she slowly stroked her long fingernail along his chiselled jawbone and snuggled deep into her pillow. “I think I love you already,” she whispered.

  What the hell was she getting into?

  CHAPTER THREE

  Tony had been asleep for over an hour. He’d dozed off listening to his wife moaning. Gradually, one eye opened slightly and then the other one followed. Lying still, he listened carefully inside the room. Nobody was about, he was sure of it. Silence. Twisting his body round slowly he scanned the living room. He was alone. Phew, that was close. He whistled and shouted in a loud voice. “Frank, come on son. Come to daddy.” Sitting up straight he whistled again. “Frank, come on lad.” Nothing. Tony sat scratching his head with his legs spread wide apart. He was mumbling under his breath as he stood to his feet. This could be a trap. His missus could be lurking, hidden away, waiting to capture him before he went out. He tiptoed about the room, aware he could get whacked over the head at any second. Elsie was a head the ball when her cage was rattled. She was an evil bitch and a snapper. The scar on his head told you that. She’d whacked him with a baseball bat when they were at logger-heads. If it hadn’t been for his son Jordan, she would have gone to town on him and finished him off. Tony had ended up with six stitches. Elsie had anger issues. Once she was in the zone and the red mist came down there was no going back. A proper nut-case she was.

  Tony started to relax, he could see his wife’s black padded jacket was missing from the peg in the hallway. He headed into the kitchen and rubbed at his body to keep warm. “Fuck me, it’s freezing in here,” he mumbled. Yanking the fridge door open he bent down slightly and peered inside. The end of a cucumber, mouldy tomatoes and an empty bottle of milk was all that he could see. He stared in the fridge for a few seconds more and slammed the door shut. Yep, the penny had dropped, and he’d realised that he’d spent the shopping money again. No wonder Elsie was gunning for him. Tony walked back into the living room and headed toward the balcony. He rammed a dimp from the ashtray into his mouth and held the lighter to the end of it, sucking at it with all his might. Once it was lit, he stood looking out onto the estate. He needed to earn some money and fast. Alright, alright, he’d fucked up, but he could make things better and fix this mess if he was given the chance. Once he’d been down to the shops, he was sure to earn a few quid; if he lifted a few packets of razors and batteries it would be enough to buy some bread and milk at least. He pulled his jeans up over his scrawny waistline and flicked the cigarette butt over the balcony. He had to be quick and get his arse out of here before Elsie came back. He needed to let her calm down when she was like this - if she knew he was pot-less she would rip his head off. Turning around on the spot he headed back inside. It was probably warmer on the balcony than it was inside the house.

  Tony froze and nearly jumped out of his skin. His eyes were wide open and he looked as if he’d seen a ghost. “Yes, you may as well look at me like that, dad. You’re lucky my mam isn’t here because you would be lay on your back by now. You’ve only got yourself to blame. And, don’t expect me to stick up for you this time because you’ve caused it all yourself. Just like you always do.”

  Tony was defensive. “Come on Emily, don’t be like that sweetheart. You know as much as me that she goes over the top. I went out for a few beers with the lads that’s all. Where is the crime in that?”

  “The crime is that you left us with no food or gas Dad. I can’t even have a bath. That’s just a basic thing that a child needs, and you can’t even provide that. You should have put me in care or left me at nana’s if you couldn’t look after me. Given me a chance to live a decent life.”

  Tony was shocked. Where had all this come from? It wasn’t as if he’d done something really bad, was it? “I’ll make some money soon and everything will be back to normal. Don’t I always come up trumps when we have fuck all?”

  “No, dad. It’s never normal in this house. You two do my head in arguing all the time and we never have nothing; no money, no decent food, and no family life. Go on, when have we ever done stuff like a normal family?”

  Tony edged to the sofa and sat down. He never expected this. “We do loads of stuff. We go shopping together, we play cards, and we have a film night. That’s family time. What more do you want?”

  “Dad, when we go shopping and you and mam are shoplifting. As for film night, when was the last time we all sat down and watched a film together? You’re either twisted or pissed out of your head. I want a dad, someone to take care of us all. You know,” her eyes were wide open as she stressed her words. “A father who protects us all at any cost.”

  Tony swallowed hard; she’d hit a nerve. He choked up and dropped his head. “I would do anything for my family. Nobody will ever hurt us. I’d do any cunt in if they ever laid a single finger on any of you. Oh yes, don’t underestimate me. I’m a nutter when I get going.”

  Emily sighed. Words needed to be said here today and she was holding nothing back. “Dad, you’re a smackhead. We live in a shit-tip and me and our kid are lucky to still be alive. Don’t you think it’s time to grow up and kick the drugs in the head. Maybe take us on holiday?” Her eyes were wide open, and she was staring directly at him. “Go on Dad. Promise me now you will take us all on holiday. Put your kids before drugs for once in your life.”

  Tony was shocked. “Ay, you cheeky cow. Don’t you dare speak to me like that otherwise you’ll get a bleeding slap. I’m your old man, have some respect. You’ve been listening to the way your mother speaks to me; she’s rubbed off on you.”

  Emily rolled her eyes and plonked down on the chair with her arms folded tightly in front of her. Okay, she’d over stepped the mark and hurt his feelings, but so what? He needed telling. “I’m just saying that’s all. It’s not a big thing to ask is it? I mean, how hard is it to get some money together for a holiday. I’m sixteen now. It would be a great present for us all to go on holiday. It’s what we need. Imagine it, no drugs, no beer, no tablets. Just our family being normal for once.”

  Tony was on the spot, fidgeting about. He sucked hard on his gums and stuck his chest out. “Well, if that’s what you want then I’ll sort it out. You know I never let you down. Maybe, I needed a kick up the arse and you’ve just given it to me. Consider it done. If you want a holiday, then a family holiday it shall be.”

  Emily chuckled and shook her head. If she had a pound for every time he’d promised her something, she’d be a rich girl. “That’s debatable isn’t it, dad?”

  Tony shrugged his shoulders. “Nar, when I say I’m doing something, I fucking well do it. Go on, tell me when I’ve let you down before. I always stick to my word.”

  Emily chuckled. Did she need to remind him of the past? “Dad, you said I could get a new pair of trainers for the school trip last month,” she paused and held her head to the side. “What happened to them, ay?”

  “Oi, come on now. I told you what happened. I had the money and got had over. Those dirty bastards down the boozer robbed me. I had the money safely stashed in my pocket and they must have
seen me steaming drunk and dipped me when I fell asleep.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a story for everything don’t you? In fact, you are the unluckiest man who walked this planet. Nothing is ever straightforward with you. Something always happens. You should write a book about it all, it would be a best seller.”

  Tony sniggered; he knew his daughter was onto him. She wasn’t a baby anymore and he knew she was a wise-head, just like he was. Looking over at his daughter, a sadness filled his body and strangled around his heart. He’d let her down, he’d let them all down. He swallowed hard and struggled to speak. It was time to have a heart to heart. “Things have just got on top of me lately love. You know with no work, no money, no fuck all really.”

  Emily couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Did he think she’d come over on the banana boat? “Since when have you been looking for a job? You’ve never worked a day in your life. You said it yourself that you couldn’t hold down a nine till five job, so stop lying.”

  Tony’s eyes opened wide. “I’m always down at the jobcentre looking for work. I’ve told them I will do anything to earn some money. I’d clean shitters, mop floors, anything to get me out of this mess we’re in. See what I mean? You don’t know the half of it. You need to stop listening to your mother. All she does is bad mouth me. She’s out of order.”