Loving the Right Brother

by Marie Ferrarella

  “God, no.” No way would she ever consider setting foot in that kind of whirlpool. “But I started thinking how you were going to wind up running out of funds helping these people—”

  “My choice,” he interjected, not wanting to be on the receiving end of a lecture. “And I get back more than I give.”

  “Well, now you can give more as well. Or work with more, your choice.”

  She wasn’t making any sense again. He knew that he was completely captivated by her, but right now her thought process left something to be desired. Like illumination.

  “What?”

  Irena put her hand over his mouth.

  When he raised his eyebrows, she told him, “This is the only way I’ll be able to finish a sentence.” She kept her hand in place and continued her explanation. “I thought if we set up a nonprofit foundation to help the tribe build up their homes, pull their own weight so to speak and assist them in standing up on their own two feet, it might help you accomplish what you set out to do without it completely bankrupting you.

  “I also e-mailed the people I went to law school with whom I still keep in touch. A lot of them have done very well for themselves. I suggested that we might set up a scholarship. You know, nothing huge, just something that might allow for two promising high school graduates to go on to college each year.”

  Finished, Irena took her hand away from his mouth. Brody merely looked at her.

  “Well, say something,” she finally implored when the silence threatened to stretched out far beyond a few minutes.

  His eyebrows raised in mock wonder. “I can talk now?”

  “Yes, you can talk now,” she ground out.

  He laughed at that. “Too bad, because I’m speechless,” he admitted. And then he watched her closely, as if he couldn’t quite make himself believe this turn of events. “You really did all this?”

  “I sent out the e-mails and outlined the plan in each case—scholarship or foundation—if that’s what you mean. And the good news is,” she finally got to it, “I received all sorts of pledges back.”

  “In other words, promises.”

  She could tell what he thought of promises by the way he said the word. Who had broken a promise to him, she wondered. But then, she realized, he had no reason to believe these promises. After all, they came from people who were her friends, not his. She needed to make him understand.

  “These people live up to their word, Brody. And even if they only give half of what they pledged—and they won’t, they’ll give the entire amount,” she assured him, “you’ll have a sizable chunk of money to work with.” More ideas popped into her brain. “You could even build a clinic on the reservation,” she enthused. “Sick people wouldn’t have to find a way to drive all the way into Hades for medical attention if they didn’t want to.”

  Brody could remember a time, not all that long ago, when Hades had had only one doctor of their own. It was just after Dr. Shayne’s brother, Ben, left town. Now Ben was back and they had not only him and Dr. Shayne, but April’s husband, Jimmy, as well. They all worked at the clinic, sometimes hours after the doors were technically closed.

  “That would be a vast improvement,” he agreed, measuring his words out slowly. He didn’t want to allow himself to get carried away. The tribe needed so many things. “You sure these people you contacted can be counted on to back up their donations?”

  She was more than sure. “I just set the proposition before them and asked for help. I didn’t specify any amounts,” she pointed out. “Each person I e-mailed suggested the size of their own contributions.” It made her feel good inside because she’d wound up getting far more than she’d initially hoped for.

  Brody tried to think logically. If this happened, there were still problems. “Listen, I don’t have the knowledge to set up these things.” And the closest lawyer was in Anchorage. It was going to be an ordeal, he thought, trying to find someone he trusted. “A foundation, or a scholarship fund,” he repeated. “I don’t know the first thing about getting—”

  Irena cut him off. “That’s okay. I do.”

  He felt adrenaline beginning to pump. He tried his best to sound casual. “Then you are staying?”

  If that’s what it took, she thought. “Maybe for a little bit,” she allowed. Then just in case Farley proved to be immovable, she added, “But I can handle setting them up just as easily from Seattle. This is the age of teleconferencing,” she reminded him. “With a computer and a webcam, I can be anyplace in an instant. Maybe faster.”

  Speed was not the issue. “True, but having you there instead of here still has its drawbacks.”

  Had she missed something? Irena thought for a moment. Coming up empty, she asked, “Which are?”

  “The fact that an image doesn’t feel the same as having you here live and in person.” He paused for a moment, knowing if he said this, he would be putting himself out there. But Brody decided to take his chances.

  “I can’t hold an image in my arms.”

  His answer made her heart hammer hard and fast.

  “Guess not,” she murmured. Oh, God, what was she doing, longing for a repeat of the evening in her parents’ house? This couldn’t go anywhere; she knew that. And still, she heard herself whispering, “Maybe you should be with him while you can.”

  Brody pulled over his car and turned the engine off. “Are you saying that you’d be willing to go to your house with me tonight instead of back to your grandfather’s?”

  She knew what he was saying. Or wasn’t saying. Irena ran the tip of her tongue along her dry lips. It didn’t help. They felt incredibly dry—because the palms of her hands were getting all the moisture in her body. They had suddenly grown damp.

  “I am,” she said, her voice hoarse.

  It took all of Brody’s strength not to say the hell with it and drive over to the cabin now. The ache he’d always felt when he thought of her hadn’t been alleviated by making love with her the other night. If anything, it had only grown more intense. Because now he knew what he was missing rather than just fantasizing about it.

  But there were people waiting for him, people who counted on him and to whom he’d given his word. If he ignored that, then he was no better than those who’d turned their backs on the tribe over the years, ignoring their own consciences—if they had any to begin with.

  Even so, as he started up the car again, he began to pray that somehow the day would fly by. And the evening hours wouldn’t.

  “So tell me more about these donations you extracted,” he said to Irena as they drove to the reservation.

  When they arrived at the weather-beaten schoolhouse twenty minutes later, they saw that Matthew was already waiting for them, just as he had been the other day. Gathered around Matthew were some of the tribe members. They all seemed rather eager to get started, despite the chill in the air and the gray skies that hovered above them.

  As she got out of the car, Irena noted that there were twice as many willing hands as the other day. Not only that but she realized that a number of people from Hades were in the group. Most notably Ike and his cousin.

  After exchanging a few words with Matthew, Brody turned toward Ike.

  “Looking to pick up some land cheap, Ike?” he asked the other man guardedly. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Ike, it was just that these days, everything Ike had an interest in, he wound up owning, either in partnership or outright.

  “Looking to spread a little goodwill,” Ike corrected. “And give back some of what I’ve gotten. Behind this handsome exterior,” he continued grandly, winking at Irena, “is a man who knows damn well that there but for the grace of God go I.” He glanced at his cousin. “Or at least Jean Luc.”

  “Thanks a lot,” Luc deadpanned, pretending to look annoyed.

  “It brings balance back to the universe to help those who need it,” Ike continued. He pushed up the sleeves of his heavy sweater, exposing muscular forearms. “So, where do we start?”

  “C
’mon, I’ll show you,” Brody said. He glanced at Irena, wondering how much she had to do with this, as well. Granted he’d gotten the doctors to come to the reservation once a month, but this was something over and above that effort. The look Irena gave him was one that seemed just a tad too innocent to suit him. But he let it go.

  For now.

  “You have anything to do with Ike, Jean Luc and the others showing up today?” he asked when, after putting in a full day’s work on another new building, they drove to her parents’ cabin.

  “I came with you, remember?” Irena reminded him. She got out of his car and walked over to the cabin’s front door.

  He followed her. “That’s not answering my question, Irena. You could have gone to Ike yesterday afternoon, asking him to get some volunteers together. Or you could have gotten your grandfather to do it.”

  She paused, as if considering the idea. “I could have.”

  Law school had taught her to be tricky, he thought. “Did you?”

  She opened the door and walked inside. “Why do you need to know?” she asked. “Isn’t it enough that they showed up?”

  Turning on the light, Brody shut the door behind him and then flipped the lock, guaranteeing their privacy. “Yes—and no.”

  “Now you’re the one who sounds like a lawyer. Firm but vague,” she elaborated with a grin. “You can’t have it both ways, Brody.” she stripped off her jacket and hung it up. “You have to pick one.”

  “Then I pick you,” she heard him say.

  Her back still to him, Irena smiled to herself. Just for now, in this place where she had been just a normal little girl, she could pretend that they were in love. In love and with a future before them. “That wasn’t one of the choices.”

  “Then I want a new game,” he told her. “One that has you as a choice.” Standing behind her, he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, nuzzling her. The next moment, he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck.

  Irena felt her body instantly heating. Heating from the longing that raced through her, fueled by anticipation and adrenaline. It was hard to think clearly. He made everything slip into a warm haze.

  “Don’t you want to eat?” she asked with effort.

  Some of the women had brought food with them and they’d nibbled as they worked. Food wasn’t even remotely on his mind right now.

  “I’m looking to obtain my sustenance another way,” he told her.

  She leaned back into him, the warmth of his body both comforting her and arousing her. She closed her hands around his arms, holding him to her. “Very petty words for a man who works with his hands these days.”

  “There’s a lot to be said for working with your hands.” She felt him begin to press his fingertips against her. Her breath began to shorten.

  “I didn’t say there wasn’t.”

  His breath was warm against her skin. “Would you like a demonstration?”

  She wanted to turn around, to kiss him until she couldn’t breathe, but she let him lead this time. That was delicious in its own way. “You going to build something for me?”

  “Frenzy, I hope.” Brody pushed her hair away from the side of her neck and skimmed his lips along her sensitive flesh.

  She shivered even as she absorbed the delicious sensation. “Frenzy it is,” she breathed, twisting around so that she could face him, her body rubbing against his. Igniting them both.

  It was the last thing she said for quite some time to come.

  Chapter Twelve

  Thanks to a sizable donation from Ike and Jean Luc, the small church had recently been renovated and expanded. Even so, it was filled to capacity, with standing room only as people spilled down the steps and outside the building.

  The town of Hades had turned out in force, more to show its support for Brody, whom everyone cared about and admired, than to actually mourn the loss of a man who had never given of himself, except in the most obvious of ways: as a faithless lover.

  Irena had arrived early to be there for Brody in any way she could. If her heart still ached a little, it was only in a reflexive capacity. She had laid her feelings for Ryan to rest. Now it was time to do the same with the man.

  Sitting in the first pew between Brody and her grandfather, she had turned and looked around the church as people had filed in. Sandwiched in among those strictly there for Ryan were various women, some hardly more than teens, who came to mourn what they felt they’d lost: someone they adored and with whom they had each thought, hoped, to spend the rest of their days.

  Ryan had been a charmer to the end, Irena couldn’t help but think, watching Ryan’s groupies mourn.

  And there but for the grace of God go I.

  If she hadn’t stumbled across Ryan making love with Trisha, who knew how long she would have continued wearing blinders, foolishly believing that she was his “one and only”?

  How many of those “one and onlys” had he had during the course of their relationship? Mercifully, she had never gone on to find out. But instinct told her that there had been more than a few. What a fool she’d been, loving him. Thinking that he loved her. Thinking she was one of the luckiest women on earth.

  Well, she had been, Irena silently argued. Not because she’d been with Ryan but because she’d managed to walk away. Leaving Ryan and Hades had turned out to be the best thing in the world for her. Without Ryan to cloud her thinking process, she’d gone on to make something of herself, to forge a career. And, in so doing, she was now in a position to give back a little to the region that had once been her home.

  As the minister stood at the pulpit, urging them all to “use your time on earth well,” she definitely didn’t regret loving Ryan. She was just grateful that she’d stopped loving him when she had.

  As the minister came to the end of his sermon, signaling that the funeral was almost over, Irena took a deep breath and then let it out.

  Hearing her, Brody felt a pang. The next moment, the momentary tinge of jealousy was followed by a wave of guilt. This was his brother’s funeral. Ryan was gone and he was alive. He shouldn’t be feeling this kind of animosity toward Ryan. And he certainly shouldn’t be entertaining any jealousy.

  Ryan paid the ultimate price. He was dead by his own hand. The only kind of emotion he should be feeling was pity.

  Instead, he was angry at Ryan.

  Angry that he had wasted his life this way and even angrier that his brother had managed to hurt so many people during the course of that short life.

  Angry that Ryan had managed to hurt the woman beside him, Brody thought. A woman he himself had always loved.

  Still loved.

  And the sigh he’d just heard escape her lips told him that she still loved Ryan.

  Inclining his head toward Irena, Brody whispered, “Are you all right?”

  She hadn’t meant to sigh. Irena pressed her lips together and nodded.

  “I should be asking you that question.” She looked at him. “Are you?”

  “I’m fine,” he assured her.

  The minister stepped away from the pulpit. The service was over. People at the back of the church began filing out of the pews, heading toward the open double doors. It was time to go to the cemetery. He slanted another look in Irena’s direction.

  “You don’t have to come if this is upsetting you too much,” he told her.

  She looked into his eyes for a moment as they rose to their feet. Always thinking of everyone else but himself, she thought. “How is it that you and Ryan share the same DNA?”

  Brody shrugged and there was just the hint of a smile on his lips. “Just the magic of science, I guess.” And then he became serious. “Really, though, if this is too much for you—”

  “Don’t worry about it.” The sobbing that had continued throughout the service seemed to escalate, as if the person had lost the ability to stop crying. Irena glanced around, then located the source. “Tessa, though, doesn’t sound as if she’s going to make it. Was she Ryan’s lates
t?” she asked in a barely audible voice, even though she was pretty certain she knew the answer.

  He nodded. “One of them, yes.” Brody lifted his shoulders in a helpless shrug. “He went on being Ryan right up until the end,” he told her quietly.

  She’d expected nothing less and felt sorry for the women who had come after her. The women who had been taken in by his charm and guile.

  They were outside the church now. She noticed even more people than there had been in church, then realized that Matthew, Ed Fox and some of the others from the reservation had stood outside the crowded building, being part of the service without intruding.

  They were here, obviously, for Brody. She sincerely doubted that Ryan had even been aware of the reservation’s existence. It was beyond the town’s boundaries. Beyond Ryan’s comfort zone.

  “A lot of people came out for Ryan,” Brody was saying.

  His words caught her attention. Didn’t he realize why so many people were here? That if Brody hadn’t been his brother, the only ones who would have attended were the heartbroken women Ryan had left behind?

  “They came out for you, Brody, not Ryan,” she pointed out.

  Brody made no response. Ambivalent feelings ricocheted through him. He mourned the loss of the man his brother could have been and grieved because now Ryan would never be able to reach that plateau.

  Ike came up to them and placed a hand on Brody’s shoulder. The light of compassion was in his eyes. “It’s time, Brody,” he said simply.

  Brody nodded. Without a word, he turned on his heel. He, Ike, with Jean Luc, Shayne, Ben and Jimmy falling into place, went around the side of the building.

  Irena watched them. When she looked back, she caught her grandfather looking at her. She anticipated his question and answered without giving him a chance to ask.

  “I’m fine, Grandpa.”

  Rather than probe, she was surprised to see Yuri nod his head instead.

  “I am knowing this,” he told her softly. A smile she couldn’t begin to fathom was on his lips. The look in his eyes told her that her grandfather was “knowing” a great deal more than that. Or at least thought he did.