by Matt Shaw
“Hello?”
“Daddy?” Holly couldn’t get anymore out. She burst into tears.
“Okay, it’s okay...I’m coming over,” he said. He didn’t wait for Holly to respond. He simply put the phone down and set about gathering his belongings to get over to his daughter as soon as he possibly could.
* * * * *
Frank was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea. Holly was sitting opposite him. Her mobile phone was between the two of them playing back the one-side of the recording it had managed to capture.
“And you had the phone close enough to the receiver?” Frank asked when it finished.
“You can hear the tone,” said Holly. She was calmer now. The initial frustration of missing the call flushed from her system with a good cry after she put the phone down to her father, earlier in the day. “If the mobile wasn’t close enough - you wouldn’t be able to hear it,” she continued. Frank nodded. She was right.
“People,” he said carefully, “...People have been trying to capture ghostly images and sounds on devices for a long time now. Maybe it’s just not possible,” he finished. “Maybe there’s something about them that....Just....I don’t know...”
“He did call, dad, he did!”
Frank nodded, “I believe you. Honestly, I do.” Holly tucked her mobile into her jean pocket and put her head in her hands. “It’ll be okay, kiddo,” he said. “Everything has a way of working out right in the end.”
“How? How will it work out? Mum thinks I’m mad. I’m starting to think it myself after listening back to that....fucking...recording...”
“I’ll stay here tonight,” said Frank. “I’ll stay here and, in the morning, I’ll answer the phone. Okay? I’ll talk to him. You said he has called every day since the accident - well - I’m sure tomorrow will be no different. How’s that sound?”
Holly nodded, “And then you’ll pass him to me?” she asked.
Frank smiled, “Of course, sweetie.”
Daddy’s Girl
When she was younger - about eight years old - Holly went through a phase of having bad dreams during the night. She’d wake up screaming at the top of her lungs. Her mother would always be the first into her bedroom, to see what was wrong, but she was always - always - followed closely by Frank who was just as concerned, especially as the nightmares went week by week. Being first into the room, Karen always tried her best to calm her daughter down but it was always Frank who managed to say the right thing to stop the little girl from crying. A few gentle whispers into her ear was all that it took before the crying turned to quiet sniffles and then stopped entirely.
Karen often asked Frank what he had said, to calm Holly down, so she could do it too if she ever woke up screaming again but Frank always turned to her, with a smile on his face, and said it was a trade secret. And, with that, he’d wink to his little girl. Daddy’s girl. Karen never pressed him for the secret. She just accepted it and let Frank have his special ‘thing’ with his daughter.
Holly could never remember what the dreams were about when she woke up. She just knew they were horrible. After the first few times of her waking up screaming - Frank, and Karen, stopped even asking her to try and recall them. They just tried to put them out of her mind and help her forget. Even then - when she had forgotten the dreams - Frank never left her side. He stayed with her, sitting on a chair by the side of the bed, until she was asleep once more and - some mornings - Holly would wake up to find her father sound asleep, leaning his head against his hand with a small trail of saliva hanging from his bottom lip.
That sight, him sitting by the bed, was one of the main memories of her father from when she was growing up.
* * * * *
Holly couldn’t help but smile the following morning when she went downstairs to wake her father. There he was, in the lounge, sitting bolt upright with his head resting in his hand and a small trail of saliva hanging from his bottom lip - snoring soundly.
Josh and Holly hadn’t got around to decorating the spare room so that it was suitable for guests to stay the night. Their small two bedroom house wasn’t usually the main gathering area if people wanted to get together for an evening and they tended to venture out as opposed to have people over. With that in mind the spare room had been turned into a dumping ground for things which needed to be sold via online auction sites, or things which needed to be thrown in a skip - when they got around to getting a skip delivered, that is.
Holly had offered Frank the bed but he had refused - although a tiny part of him was tempted to take it. She had even offered to share the bed with him but he refused that too saying he’d be fine on the sofa. When he mentioned the sofa, Holly thought she’d at least find him stretched out on the three-seater as opposed to sat upright in the armchair.
“Damn thing is so uncomfortable,” Frank moaned when she quizzed him about why he didn’t stretch out on the other sofa. “What time is it?” he asked as she handed him over a fresh cup of tea.
“It’s nearly eight,” she said, “he’ll be calling soon. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to come upstairs and wait by the phone?”
“Can’t use the one in the hallway?” Frank asked.
“Never tried. I always get him upstairs when I’m in bed.”
“Lead the way,” said Frank. With his cup of tea in hand he followed Holly up to the main bedroom. She sat on the bed, next to the phone, and Frank sat next to her. “So how do you want to do this?” he asked.
“I don’t think he knows what has happened. When we talk - he seems to think he’s calling me the morning after he first left as he had originally planned to do,” Holly said quietly. “I’ll answer the call,” she suggested, “and then pass him over to you. I’ll pretend you need to ask him a question or something.”
Frank nodded, “Okay.” He laughed, “Be the first time I’ve ever needed to ask him for advice - usually it’s the other way around!” He smiled. Although what he said made him laugh, a little, it wasn’t untrue. Josh’s own father had passed away when Josh was young and his mother, as kind as she was, wasn’t the best at practical things like D.I.Y. With that in mind, if he ever needed anything doing around the house, Josh would find himself calling upon Frank. To start with Frank would just go over and fix whatever needed fixing but - as the requests became more frequent - he soon realised it was best if he just explained to Josh how he could fix it.
Best way to learn! Frank would tell him. Josh never argued. He knew Frank would stay on the end of the line until whatever was needed to be done was finished and - if there were major problems - he could count on Frank to come over and make sure it was all fixed up properly before more damage was done.
Have to start charging you for my time soon, Frank always said when the pair of them shook hands after a job well done. He’d never charge Josh and Josh knew this. He was merely playing. Talking for the sake of it. A gentle teasing which - on some levels - Josh actually enjoyed but that was mainly because, when he had first met Frank, Holly had told him it was a good sign and that it meant her father actually tolerated him. A step in the right direction after the last boyfriend she had had failed to make a good impression on Frank after inviting both Frank and Karen out for a meal and - conveniently - forgetting to take his wallet. A fact he found out when the bill was brought to the table.
Every time Frank told Josh he’d have to start charging for his time soon, Josh would cheekily turn back to him and say, If you’re not careful - I’ll give your daughter back to you! A phrase which made Frank rethink his threat of wanting cash and a phrase which got Josh a slap on the arm from Holly.
Frank missed Josh despite not actually having the chance to come out and say it before now. “He was a good lad,” he said to Holly. He didn’t say anything else. He didn’t have to. A simple sentence which summed Josh up perfectly. He was definitely one of the good guys. Frank put his arm around Holly and gave her a gentle squeeze.
“It’ll be any minute,” Holly said - her eyes fixed
on the clock on the wall which was fast approaching eight o’clock. “I’m nervous,” she said. Frank wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to offer her some kind advice, something to help her calm her nerves, so he just remained quiet as he too watched the wall mounted clock.
Another minutes passed with no phone call. Frank thought of something to say to break the tension, “I’m not entirely sure what to even say to him!” he said. It wasn’t a lie. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. What were you supposed to talk about to someone who is supposed to be dead? Especially when it appears they don’t know they’re actually deceased. Frank couldn’t help but think it would have been easier had Josh known he had died in the accident. If you knew what state he was in - well - then there were a ton of questions Frank could think to ask him. Questions such as what is it like when you die? Is there a brilliant white light at the end of the tunnel? All the questions that people all over the world wanted the answers for.
8:01am.
Holly’s heart sank and she felt herself well up although she fought to hold back the tears, “He hasn’t called,” she said. She turned to her father, “Why hasn’t he called?” Frank didn’t answer her. Not because he didn’t want to. He just didn’t know how to respond to the question. At least - not without upsetting her in the process.
Maybe because he never called? he thought to himself. He hated to doubt her but he knew it was a long shot that Josh would actually phone through. He wanted to try, though, out of curiosity and - of course - to show his daughter that, despite what Karen thought, a part of him believed her. Wanted to believe her anyway. This - the lack of phone call - made it somewhat harder for him to believe.
“He should have called by now!” Holly said. She was panicking. Although she wanted her father to hear the call - to prove they were happening - now she was more worried about the possibility of not talking to Josh again. Her last chance yesterday and she had failed to hear him say how much he loved her for one final time. “Why isn’t he calling?” she asked Frank, hoping he’d have the answer she was desperately looking for. He didn’t.
“Maybe he’s busy?” Frank suggested quietly. Busy doing what he didn’t know but what else was he supposed to say? How else could he make his daughter feel better?
“That must be it,” Holly agreed, “he must be busy,” she said.
Frank smiled at her and, with his arm still around her, gave her another squeeze.
Doubts
Standing on the front porch of Holly’s house, Frank gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“If you need anything,” he offered, “just give me a call. Okay?”
“Thank you.” She hesitated for a moment, “Do you think I’m mad?” she asked.
“What? Why?”
“The phone call?”
“No. I don’t think you’re mad,” he said. At the same time though - he was started to doubt the telephone calls happened, despite his belief in the afterlife. Years wasted, chasing ghosts with his friends, and never any proof found. It wasn’t just his daughter he was starting to doubt. It was the whole fact that it was looking more and more likely that there was nothing after we died; the single most terrifying thought in Frank’s mind. “Everything happens for a reason,” he said. He gave her another kiss and walked across to his car. “Remember - you need anything - give me a ring. I’m only on the other end of a phone call,” he said - instantly regretting the words he had chosen. A nervous laugh escaped his mouth. One that Holly had never heard from him before. “I didn’t mean...”
“I know what you meant,” she said. She couldn’t help but smile at his awkwardness. He nodded another apology and jumped into the front seat of his car, closing the door behind him. Holly stepped back, into the house, and watched as the car fired into life and started to reverse down the driveway. A final wave from the driver and the car pulled into the main road before heading away. Immediately Holly felt lost. Having her dad there, if only for a night, seemed to make everything feel a little bit better. She wanted to call him back. She wanted to ask if she could move back in with them, in their quiet country home, just whilst she worked things out. She closed the front door and walked over to the phone in the hallway. If she was quick, she could phone him up and get him to turn around - come back for her.
Before she had the chance to dial any numbers - the telephone started to ring in her hand. She jumped.
“Dad?” she said as she put the phone to her ear, having answered the call.
“Hey, baby! Not quite! At least, I hope not...Because if I am your dad then, well, I think this relationship has taken a rather disturbing turn if you get my drift!” Josh laughed. “Anyway here I am, as promised, giving you a ring before you go to work.” Having already been on the verge of tears, Holly couldn’t help but break down. “Honey? What’s wrong?” Josh asked - genuine concern in his voice. “Everything okay at home?” he asked as he remembered how Holly had answered the phone in the first place. “Your mum and dad okay?” he asked.
“They’re fine,” she sniffled. “Are you driving?”
“Handsfree all the way!” he said. “What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”
“Please can you pull over a minute so we can talk?” she begged him.
“I suppose I can do that,” he said, “besides - signal’s pretty crappy here!”
Holly sat down on one of the lower stairs. A sickness brewing in her stomach which made it uncomfortable to stand up.
“So - are you going to tell me what’s the matter?” he asked. “Or am I going to have to come home and beat it out of you?” whenever Holly was upset he tried his best to cheer her up by coming out with stupid things such as that. It rarely worked but he continued to try. She admired him for that. On some levels.
She took a deep breath in, “I think I’m going mad,” she said.
Josh laughed, “You’ve been insane ever since you agreed to marry me. Everyone told you so, if you remember.” They had told her too. Joking, of course. At least - so she thought. She’d shown their friends, and family the engagement ring and they had all wished the pair the best of luck, shouting congratulations at them, hugged them both and always - without fail - ended up by telling Holly she was clearly mad. She had always laughed when they said it; the first time because she thought it funny and - as the joke went on - then just to humour them. She never actually believed they were right. Josh realised Holly was being serious and stopped laughing, “What’s wrong? You’re starting to scare me now,” he said. “What’s happened?” Holly knew she couldn’t go any further without telling Josh everything that had happened and that terrified her. She already thought she was going mad - and it hurt her when her mother looked at her as though she were - but to hear it from the man she loved too? “Holly! Talk to me for fucks sake!” said Josh. His voice stern.
“You died,” she said after a slight pause.
“You dreamt I died? Charming! Well - sorry to disappoint - I’m fine...”
“You left me that evening to go to your appointment. You promised you’d call me in the morning but the call never came. I went to work, having not been able to get hold of you on the telephone and the police came. They came to the office and told me about an accident. You died, Josh. You’re dead. It wasn’t a dream. It was real. I thought these phone calls were the dream,” she went on.
Josh interrupted her, “These phone calls? I’ve phoned you once - just as I had promised to! This call. Honey, you’re not making any sense.”
“I had to go to the hospital and identify your body,” she continued despite his confusion, “you were lying on a hospital trolley. You were dead, Josh. A car accident.”
“None of what you’re saying makes sense,” he told her. She could tell by his tone that he was starting to get a little irritated by the conversation now. She couldn’t stop, though. She had to see it through to the end.
“Where are you?” she asked. Normally he disappeared at this time of the call – because he was approaching a tunnel. This
time she hoped it would be different because he had - supposedly - stopped moving. Hopefully the signal would hold out. “Right now,” she pushed him, “where are you?” The phone line went quiet. Holly knew Josh was still there. She could hear him breathing on the other end of the line still. She asked him again, “Where are you? Please tell.”
A slight pause before Josh came clean, “I don’t know,” he said.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“Everything’s black,” he said. He started to cry.
Somewhere Between
Holly had only ever seen Josh cry once and it made her feel uncomfortable. She was used to seeing him strong. He was always her tower of strength to lean on when she needed comforting. When he had cried, when they discovered Holly had miscarried their first and only baby, she hadn’t known what to do. Part of her wanted to cry with him, which she did for a bit, and part of her wanted to comfort him and let him get it out of his system.
