When we arrive at the mall it’s still pretty early. There are only a few cars scattered around the otherwise empty parking lot.
Tucker finds a space close to the main entrance. I don’t want to admit that it’s been quite a while since I’ve been to a mall. Dex certainly never took me shopping. I went a few times when I was still in high school to get clothes when my dad had the cash. Those were the clothes I was still wearing when I went to live with Dex.
“You can get whatever you want,” Tucker states. “Don’t worry about the cost. It’s not like I have a lot to spend my money on.”
There’s a sadness in his voice that makes me sad too. I find it hard to believe that someone like him doesn’t have a girlfriend to spend money on.
“I can get by with just a few things,” I assure him. “Jeans and a few tops.”
He frowns. “Come on. Let’s get inside before you get cold again.”
We seem to be the only ones in the mall besides a few old folks who are mall walking. We’re definitely the only shoppers. Some of the stores still have the gates half down like they’re still in the process of opening.
“Take off your gloves and give me your hands,” Tucker says.
I take off the gloves he gave me and put them in the pockets of my leather jacket. Then I place my hands in his. His hands are surprisingly warm. He rubs my hands again in an effort to warm them. Tucker always seems to be thinking about my needs. I like it but I know I shouldn’t. I don’t want to get used to something I know I can’t really have. I know I’ll just end up disappointed when I have to leave.
“Better?” Tucker asks.
“Much.”
“Good, now let’s do some shopping.”
Several hours later Tucker is loaded down with so many bags I’m surprised he can hold them all. I told him I didn’t need that much but he insisted on buying me everything that I said I liked. I finally had to stop telling him that I liked anything or we’d be walking out with half of the mall.
“You really didn’t have to buy me so much,” I state as Tucker piles everything in the storage area behind our seats in the truck.
He frowns again. He does that a lot when he doesn’t like what someone else has to say. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t have to. His feelings show on his face.
“You needed some clothes to wear,” he says as he pulls out of the parking lot.
Now that we’re leaving, the place is starting to pick up a little bit more. I guess we were really early shoppers.
“Some clothes,” I agree. “But you practically bought everything in the mall.”
He laughs. “Not even close. But we can always go back if you don’t have enough to wear.”
I would laugh too, but it’s not really funny. I’ve never had so much to wear in my entire life. I feel completely and utterly spoiled. And guilty. Tucker shouldn’t have spent so much money on me. I really don’t deserve it.
We sit in silence for a while, both with our own thoughts. It doesn’t bother me that we’re both quiet, reserved people. When I’m with Tucker I don’t feel so alone in the world. Even when we’re not talking his presence is strong and I know he’s there with me.
As we get further away from the city and head back into the country I want to breathe a sigh of relief. I never realized, probably because I had no basis for comparison, how stressful the city can be.
“Why?” I ask as we work our way through the small Old Town town square.
“Why what?”
“Why are you being so nice to me? Not that I don’t appreciate it. I really do. More than you probably realize. I just don’t understand why you’re doing it.”
“You really have no idea why?” Tucker almost sounds like he doesn’t believe me.
“I really have no idea why.”
He’s quiet for a few long moments. Then he says, “Because I like you.”
I’m stunned for a moment. Surely he doesn’t mean that he likes me like a potential girlfriend or anything like that. He probably means that he likes me like a friend. Or like a pet. Guys like Tucker don’t like girls like me, do they?
Five
Tucker
I can’t believe I just told Gracie that I like her. Stupid move. I know it’s stupid because she hasn’t said a word back to me. She’s probably trying to figure out a way that she can escape when I stop the truck.
Girls as beautiful as Gracie don’t give guys like me the time of day. I know that. Yet I was still stupid enough to tell her that I like her. I knew it was too soon. She hasn’t really had a chance to get to know me. Not that I expect that to help my case any. When she really gets to know me, everything about me, all the dark parts of my life that I try to keep hidden, I know she’ll be running out the door as fast as her legs can take her.
I know I have to come to terms with the fact that no girl is ever going to fall for me. Especially Gracie. And why would she? This isn’t Beauty and the Beast. This is real life, not some stupid fairy tale.
I just want to enjoy being with her a little while longer. The only problem is that the more time we spend together the harder it will be to let her go.
I like the fact that we can just be together and there’s no pressure to talk or to be anyone other than who we are. I’ve never met another person who I’ve felt like I could really be myself with until I met Gracie. Not even my own brothers.
Not that I’m not close to my brothers. But we’re all so competitive with each other. And my brothers don’t like to give me the time and space I need. They always want me to talk. Especially my two older brothers. Jake and Cooper just love to talk. And they think that there’s something wrong with me when I don’t.
“Thanks for everything,” Gracie says as I help her out of my truck.
“My pleasure.”
The air is cold and wet; like we’re probably going to get snow again. I don’t want Gracie to get cold. She’s so tiny and always looks so vulnerable. My instinct is to hold her tight in my arms, to protect her, but I don’t want to scare her. And my arms are filled with shopping bags anyway.
“I can start a fire,” I suggest as I place all of her bags on the couch in the living room.
“I should put all of those clothes away.”
“Let me help you.” I grab all of the packages and we head upstairs with them.
I place them all on the bed in the guest room. It feels kind of strange because she hasn’t really slept in the guest bedroom. It doesn’t feel like her space. I really want to put her stuff in my room but I don’t want her to feel like I’m pushing her into anything.
She looks around the guest room and I can tell by her expression that the room feels as foreign to her as it does to me. Not that it’s not a beautiful space. My mom decorated like an interior designer. It just doesn’t feel like Gracie’s space.
When she looks up at me with her lovely gray eyes, I can feel my heart start to melt a little. She probably doesn’t realize she could ask me anything and I’d find a way to make it happen.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she says quickly, but it’s not the truth. Something is bothering her.
“You can tell me anything,” I assure her.
She heaves a small sigh. “Can I put my stuff in your room?”
I can’t help but laugh.
She frowns. “Never mind. I’ll just put it here.”
“No,” I say quickly, as I grab her arm. I’m glad that she doesn’t flinch this time. “I want you to put your stuff in my room. I just didn’t want you to think I was pressuring you into anything. That’s why I laughed.”
I can see her features soften.
Before she has a chance to protest, I grab all of the bags, take them into my bedroom and place them on my bed.
“Better?”
She smiles in response.
“There’s plenty of room in my closest. I don’t wear a lot of dress clothes. Mostly just T-shirts and jeans. But I’ll empty out the top drawer of the dre
sser for you.”
She walks over to the closet and opens it. There are just a few miscellaneous dress shirts hanging there, along with some spring jackets. The rest of the closet is empty except for my guitar cases.
Like a magnet, she’s immediately attracted to the guitars. “Do you play?”
“Not very well.”
“You don’t own a lot of stuff but you’ve got two guitars. It must be something that’s important to you.”
“My brothers and I have a band. Wilde Riders. We play at the bar on Friday and Saturday nights when there’s not another band in town.”
When she glances back at me she has a glimmer of admiration in her eyes. I don’t think she’ll be quite as impressed when she actually hears me play.
“Will you play for me? After I get everything put away?”
“I’m not much of a performer. I leave that to Jake and Cooper, who really front the band.”
She raises an eyebrow. “I bet you’re a lot better than you give yourself credit for.”
“Put your stuff away and then we’ll see how good you think I am.”
She quickly puts all of her new clothes in the closet and dresser and then sits on the bed as if she’s waiting for me to perform for her.
Few things make me nervous. I’m rarely nervous on stage. But seeing her sitting there, just waiting for me to play, my heart feels like it’s going to jump right out of my chest.
I remove my acoustic guitar from its case and sit down on the bed next to Gracie. I strum a few chords and then begin to play ROAD SONG by Dan Patrick Fulton. It’s a new song we’ll be playing this weekend. I’m not a great singer but I do my best with the lyrics.
Five hundred miles of highway stretch before me,
It takes so long to get to where I go,
Five hundred miles, I don't know which end home is,
But Lord I'm feeling right at home out on the road
'Cause that old song is playing on the radio,
And that old song is singing out my creed,
That old guitar will bring me such sweet comfort,
And on the road that old guitar is all I need
When everything is changing,
And I can't seem to find my place,
When my life keeps rearranging,
That change blows cold against my face
Five hundred miles, awash in mass confusion,
And thing's ain't clear as each one passes by,
And it's too hard to see through life's illusions,
But I know I've got nothing left to do but try
When everything is changing,
And I can't seem to find my place,
When my life keeps rearranging,
That change blows cold against my face
When nothing stays the way it is, and nothing turns out like I wished,
When nothing feels the way it should, and I’m not feeling quite as good,
And when I travel all alone, that southern music saves my soul,
When all I love has passed me by, that southern music makes me fly
'Cause that old song is easing all my worry,
And that old song is heaven as I ride,
Five hundred miles, but I ain't got no hurry,
'Cause when I reach the end I'll miss the other side.
When I finish singing, I notice Gracie is staring at me with a glimmer in her eyes. “You’re really good.”
“Jake’s the singer in the family.” I lay my guitar back in its case.
“If he’s even half as good as you, he must be amazing,” she says.
I frown. “Now I know you’re just trying to make me feel good.”
“I’m not,” she insists. “You are really good.”
“I get by.”
I stand. “We should probably get ready to go to the bar. If you still want to help out, I mean. It probably won’t get too busy until this evening but it will give me some time to show you what to do. Have you ever worked at a bar before?”
Gracie looks down toward her shoes. “Dex never let me work.”
“Have you ever had a job?”
She shakes her head.
“Well you do now. I’ll even ask Jake to put you on the payroll so you can earn some money.”
When she looks up at me, her eyes are a bit moist. “You’d do that for me? Even though I’ve never had a job before?”
“You have to start somewhere. Might as well be Haymakers. I’m not going to lie and tell you it’s easy. But I think you can handle it.”
She smiles and jumps up from the bed. “Thank you, Tucker. For everything.”
She looks so happy she’s actually glowing. Giving her a job at the bar is such a little thing. Jake can just give her the money he would have paid the twins. But it seems like such a big thing to Gracie.
Before I know what’s happening, she has her hand on my chest.
And I can’t breathe.
She’s looking up at me with the biggest, most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I can’t believe it’s a smile just for me.
I want so badly to reach down and kiss her but every muscle in my body is frozen with fear. What if I try to kiss her and she turns away? What if she turns cold and asks me what I’m doing? What if I’m reading more into what’s going on then there actually is?
Then she bits her bottom lip. And I want so badly to have her lovely pink lips on mine.
I swallow but my throat feels like it’s practically shut. I was a soldier in a war zone and that wasn’t nearly as frightening as kissing Gracie.
She’s looking up at me like she’s expecting me to kiss her. At least that’s what I hope. I finally will myself to move and slowly lean down and touch my lips to hers.
And I wait there for a moment, our lips just barely touching. I wait because I want to give her an out. I want to give her time to turn away, or slap me, or go running out of the room if she wants.
But to my surprise, she doesn’t move.
So I move in even closer and kiss her.
It’s a soft, gentle kiss. One that fits Gracie perfectly. And when our lips part, I place my hand on her face and gently caress her check with my thumb.
“Was that okay?” I ask as I look deeply into her grey eyes. They’re filled with so much awe, it makes my heart swell.
She nods. “More than okay.”
I can feel my heart start to thump again. I want to ask her to repeat what she said because I’m not sure I heard her right. More that okay.
I lean down and kiss her again. This time, I pull her closer and deepen the kiss. People say they see fireworks when they kiss someone special, but I’m seeing an entire universe of glimmering stars. And every part of my body feels alive like being charged by those stars.
When Gracie whispers a low WOW, I have a feeling she may have seen stars too.
I blink a few times just to make sure I didn’t image what just happened. But she is still standing there, looking up at me with a gleam in her eyes, and I know what just happened between us was real.
I kissed Gracie, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and she’s still here. She still wants to be with me. I want to savor the moment.
I don’t want to think about what’s going to happen when she sees my leg. I wish there was a way I could be with her without her ever having to see it but I know it’s impossible. I want to be with Gracie, in every way that a man wants to be with a woman. But that requires me to take off my pants. To expose my pathetic excuse for a limb to her. And I know when she sees the monstrosity, it’ll be game over.
“What’s wrong?”
Her voice brings me back to the present moment. Not a place I’m used to being in very often. Since I got back from Iraq, I find my thoughts often wander into a past I can’t forget or a future I dread.
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
She frowns. I can tell she doesn’t believe me. She’s really good at reading me.
“We’d better get ready to go.”
Tw
enty minutes later Gracie walks down the stairs wearing one of her new outfits, dark jeans and a little, pink cashmere sweater. I love the way her blonde hair cascades down her back and how the pink looks against her milky white complexion.
When she stands next to me, I feel about as ugly as a mud fence next to a beautiful winter rose.
“Do you like it?” She does a quick spin for me to see a full view of her new clothes.
“You look amazing.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“I never say anything that’s not true,” I assure her.
I reach down and tuck her hair behind her ears.
“Why do you always do that?”
“You’re so beautiful. You shouldn’t hide your face behind your hair.”
Her hand goes to her scar. “But what about this?”
“It’s part of who you are. It doesn’t make you any less beautiful. Whenever my mom picked her winter roses, I always thought the most beautiful ones were the ones that were a little less than perfect. They always seemed more real and more attractive. You’re perfect to me just the way you are.”
Gracie wouldn’t let me buy her a new leather jacket when we were at the mall. She said they were too expensive and that I should get a new one for myself. While that may be true, I also think she just likes wearing my jacket, even though it’s way too big for her and she looks like she’s swimming in it.
“Maybe someday you’ll let me buy you a jacket that actually fits,” I joke.
She purses her lips at me. “I like this jacket. It’s perfectly imperfect. And it’s yours. That makes it even nicer.”
***
By the time we get to Haymakers, I notice a few of the regulars are already hanging around the bar.
“I see you finally made it,” Hunter says as I walk by. I glare at him in response.
“Is Jake in his office?” I ask.
He rolls his eyes at me. “Where else?”
I grab Gracie’s hand and pull her into the back room with me.
Jake looks up from a mountain of receipts when we enter.
The Wilde One (Old Town Country Romance) Page 6
