Let Me Love You

by Kristin Miller

  She settled onto one of the couches and patted the flannel-patterned cushions for him to sit next to her.

  But she didn’t want him close. Not really. Notions whirled in Joey’s head and with each passing moment, they became harder to fight back.

  “How was the jubilee?” He dragged a rolling chair from the desk in the corner and straddled the back. It was better this way. For her. “Sorry I couldn’t make it. Walker asked me to help him out.” He shrugged. “Couldn’t say no.”

  “No, of course not.” She replaced her hands in her lap. “The grape stomp went smoothly. The events are getting easier and easier, the more years I put under my belt. Janice and Skylie won their round,” she said, a soft laugh escaping her lips. “They were dressed as Bella and Jacob from Twilight. It was awesome.”

  He smiled, feeling that grin burn deep. He would’ve liked to see Janice stomp around in the muck, not a care in the world.

  “That sounds like Janice,” he said. “I think I’ve seen her nose buried in those books at least a dozen times.”

  “Listen, Joey, about earlier…”

  “It’s okay, I know why you left.”

  “You do?”

  “Sure.” He shrugged. “Duty called.”

  “Exactly. And that’s exactly the reason I wanted to find you today. I know you want something beyond what I can give you, but what happened this morning is the perfect example of what it would be like for us if we dated. In fact, things would only get worse from here. Believe me. I’ve dated men who said they wanted their woman to have a career, but when it came down to it, and they didn’t get Little Miss Homemaker, they bolted. And that’s exactly who you want.” She slid to the edge of the couch, leaning forward as if her words could reach him better that way. “I see the reality, but you have to see it too. I’m not the woman who’s going to cook you dinners or clean your house. Not when I have hundreds of guests to feed and a winery to maintain. I can’t be the woman you need, even if I wanted to.”

  Heart bursting, Joey stood, pushing the chair aside. He rushed to her feet. Fell to his knees in front of her and gripped her hands in his. Now that he was in front of her, the air whooshed from his lungs and he didn’t know how to express what was on his mind. He paused, choosing his words carefully. “Lucy, we’ve only been out a few times, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

  “Because you pretty much have.” Her eyes glossed with tears. “High school feels like forever ago.”

  “I’ve never felt more like myself than I have when I’m with you. You’ve awakened something inside me, and I don’t want that feeling to disappear.” He squeezed her hands and prayed that his words would strike true into her heart. “You are exactly the woman I need, and I want to be with you, no matter what your rules are.” His heart thumped violently in his ears as the planes flew overhead, shaking the hangar. “Though if you’re going to give me a chance, I’d prefer no rules at all. It’d be difficult to date you if I promised not to call or ask you out again.”

  She laughed and sniffled. Was she about to cry?

  He had to get this out. Had to tell her everything. If she didn’t want him after this, then so be it, but he had to try.

  “It’s been so long since I’ve asked for something of my own, I’ve almost forgotten how to do it,” he went on. Now that he’d opened the floodgates, the tragedy pushed forward. “My brother Alec died because I did what I wanted and hit the skies on a day I should’ve been working. Back then, I couldn’t care less about what others needed from me. That’s why this is so difficult for me to say.”

  “It’s okay,” she said, gripping his arms. “Your brother didn’t die because you went flying, Joey. There was no way you could’ve known what would happen. I remember hearing about it. It was a freak accident. An electrical fire.”

  “It was a fire I could’ve fought, had I been at the station,” he said, throat burning. “From that day on, I vowed to put others’ needs above my own.”

  An odd sensation of release swept over him. He felt lighter than he had in ages. As if the shackles he’d bound over himself had finally loosened.

  Lucy shook her head as a single tear rolled down her cheek. “That’s a horrible penance.”

  “It’s not so bad.” His chest ached fiercely. “I stepped up and supported Janice, and that’s turned out to be the greatest joy of my life. I helped Dane with the store so my father won’t harp on him and make him feel worse than he already does. We still fight, but we’re closer than we were when we were younger. I work the station for Chief Hammock when he’s understaffed, and release some of the burden off his shoulders so he can do a better job running the place. And I work every single overtime shift I can, until my eyes swell shut, because I feel damned horrible taking something for myself.”

  “Joey…”

  Her hand found his cheek. She lifted his face so that he’d meet her eye to eye.

  “For years,” he whispered, trembling under the weight of the words, “I’ve thought only of others and what’s best for them. But I’m finally going to ask for one thing. One precious thing that only you can give me: your heart.”

  A lone tear rolled down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb.

  “I won’t hurt you. I won’t demand you to be with me if you want to leave.” His heart clenched so hard, he thought he heard it crack. “I only want you, Lucy. And all I ask is for you to give me today. Every today of your life.”

  She kissed his cheek, the heat from her lips lingering. “You are the sweetest man I know. The most generous and loyal. The funniest.”

  “The most studly?”

  “That too.” She laughed and took his hand, placing it over her heart. “I promise you, today is yours.”

  “Lucy…” He wanted more. He wanted forever. But he’d take today, and then tomorrow he’d make her love him again. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to break a promise I made to you.”

  She pulled back. “Which one?”

  “The first time we slept together, you made me promise not to make love to you.” He brushed his hands over her halo of crimson hair. It was soft, sliding through his fingers like a silky veil. “I’m looking forward to smashing that promise to pieces.”

  As she smiled against his lips, flames of desire licked over his skin. He tunneled his fingers through her locks and tugged her to him, kissing her with all the passion and love he had in his body. He felt her heart and promise in the kiss. The heat and the love. And then, as the engines of the racing planes rumbled overhead, Joey took Lucy into the privacy of the office and made love to her for the first time.

  She’d remember the depth of his love for her for the rest of the days of her life. He’d make sure of it.

  Chapter Twenty

  As Lucy collapsed on top of Joey, she’d never felt more loved, more whole, in all of her life.

  She rolled over, and Joey cradled her in his arms. They barely fit on the couch in the hangar’s office, but that was all right. She nestled against him, closer. Couldn’t be close enough. She could feel his heartbeat against her back—that true, steady drumming rhythm that called to something deep within in her.

  Two knocks pounded against the office door.

  Joey started, sitting upright. “Be out in one second!” he hollered, and then scrambled to dress. Lucy followed, tripping as she shoved one of her legs into the wrong pant leg hole.

  “Joey! Dude! We won!” He banged on the door again. “You hear me in there? We finally won this sucker!”

  “That’s great!” Joey yelled back. “Give me a second, would ya?”

  “Hurry it up!”

  “It’s Walker,” Joey said to Lucy as he shrugged into his shirt. It should’ve been a sin to cover such a gorgeous body. “My plane has never won this race, and he’s never won as a pilot. He’s obviously excited.”

  “Brackett!” Fists rained against the door, beating relentlessly. “We’re going to celebrate! Get your ass out here!”

  “
You better do what he says.” Lucy hopped into her pants. “He’s about to break down the door.”

  Once they were both dressed, Joey kissed her forehead. “Want to come have a drink with us?”

  Tempting offer, but now that things were smoothed over with Joey, the urge to head back to the winery struck her. Even though the jubilee was over and the cleanup crews were probably leaving, the harvest would run all night. She wanted to check in with Frank, make sure the harvesters were in working order, and monitor the wine going into the tanks. Not to mention, the newest report she’d received this morning mentioned that the acidity level on tank number two was higher than the previous batch by a significant amount. There was nothing wrong, per se, but she was compelled to be there. With Joey holding her in his arms this way, she wanted to be here, too.

  “I could come have a drink.” She worried her lip between her teeth. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

  He grinned as if he could see the wheels turning in her head. “Go to StoneMill. I’ll have a drink with Walker and head over to meet you when we’re done.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.” He kissed her, untying the knots in her tummy. “I want you to be with me, but your happiness comes first.”

  Her heart faltered. “But I’m happy when I’m with you.”

  “I know that, but it’s all about balance.” He replaced the pillows on the couch and then unlocked the door. “If it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to prove to you that you can have the winery and a relationship at the same time. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “But I don’t even have a way to get back,” she said. “Dane brought me.”

  His expression fell, but quickly recovered. “You can take my truck. It’s parked in the lot behind the stands. Third row. About fifteen stalls back on the right. But you have to be gentle.” He dug in his pocket and came out with his keys. “Call her Turbo if she doesn’t start up right away.”

  Lucy bit back a laugh. “Turbo?”

  Shrugging, he handed her the keys. “She likes that.”

  “If you say so.” Lucy took the keys and shoved them in her pocket. “How will you get to the winery later if I have your—Turbo?”

  “Walker will drop me off, or if we’re three sheets to the wind, we’ll take a cab.” As he swung open the door, Walker fell in, his fist in midair as if he’d been about to hammer it against the door. The wind came in with him, whipping through the office. “Walker,” Joey said, once his friend had regained his footing. “This is Lucy Stone.”

  Walker was formidable and tall—she’d say six feet two if she had to guess—and stocky, with broad shoulders and a razor-short buzz cut. His skin was dark and smooth, like caramel. He stuck out his hand, grinning like a goof. “You own StoneMill, right?”

  Had to love small towns.

  She took his hand and shook. “I do.”

  “You don’t happen to carry around bottles of wine in your purse?” He laughed, his voice pitching high. “We need something to celebrate this momentous occasion! We took first! Smoked those guys by a quarter of a mile!” He socked Joey in the shoulder. Joey didn’t even flinch. “Whatever mods you’ve made to that plane of yours worked! It’s the fastest I’ve flown in years! So how ’bout it, Red? Where’s that wine?”

  “I’ve got something else in mind.” Joey kissed Lucy on the cheek and then escorted Walker out of the office. His plane was parked on the grass out front, reflecting the afternoon sunshine off its wings. “We’re heading to Shots Saloon.”

  Lucy stood against the office wall so it’d block some of the wind, and watched Walker hop into the plane. She couldn’t help but notice Joey’s gloomy expression as his friend backed it into the hangar.

  Joey wanted to fly again.

  Maybe when he got over the guilt plaguing him, he’d return to the cockpit and his desire to fly would rekindle.

  She wished that for him, all the way out to the parking lot, where she coaxed Turbo into starting on the third try. She drove back to the winery, running through a mental checklist of things she wanted to accomplish before Joey returned from his saloon run later. The closer she got to the winery, the more the wind picked up. The skies were cloudless, so a storm wasn’t on the horizon, but Mother Nature was certainly angry about something. Gusts of wind slammed into Joey’s truck. Lucy gripped the wheel hard so she didn’t swerve out of her lane and prayed other drivers did the same.

  As she pulled into the parking lot, a text bleeped over her phone. She parked, pulled her cell out of her back pocket, and checked the screen.

  Don’t h8 me. Left wrk 2 party early. It was Skylie. Don’t tell my mom and dad, they’ll kill me. Drank 2 much. Need ride. Can u come?

  Damn it. Anger flared in Lucy’s gut. Skylie had left work early! And because she’d put herself in a situation where she hadn’t arranged for a designated sober driver, Lucy wasn’t going to be able to get her work done, either.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

  Lucy took a deep breath and settled herself down. Skylie wasn’t stupid, Lucy corrected. She was young and naive. Just out of high school and looking to have fun with her friends. Parties after the town’s jubilee and festival were expected; they happened every year. As much as Lucy hated the thought, too many high school kids were included in the drinking and celebrating. At least Skylie had the smarts to call for a ride rather than drive drunk.

  Yes, I’ll be right there. Lucy texted back from inside the cab of the truck, fighting the urge to lecture via cell phone. Where are you?

  A few minutes passed, and then her phone bleeped again.

  Birch.

  Lucy slammed her head against the wheel and clutched it tight. It’d take her over an hour to drive over the pass to Birch, and with the fire still burning in the area, causing smoke to blanket the mountain, visibility would probably suck. She’d have to drive more slowly. It was four o’clock now. By the time she reached Skylie, it’d be five thirty. Maybe later. It’d be nearly dark.

  Hold tight. I’ll meet you at the tower, Lucy texted, picturing the clock tower in the center of the dusty town. Be there as soon as I can.

  Whatever happened to late-night parties at Birch? She remembered heading up the mountain to party after dark. Since when did the high schoolers party in the ghost town midday? And when she partied, they either assigned a sober driver or planned to stay the night.

  These kids were novices.

  Lucy backed out of the stall and exited the lot, keeping her phone on her lap in case Skylie texted again. As she wound through Blue Lake and passed Shots Saloon, a horrible feeling crept up the back of Lucy’s spine.

  Something wasn’t right.

  She’d text Joey in an hour or so to let him know what was going on. She didn’t want to disturb him while he was having fun with his flying buddy. There was nothing he’d be able to do to help out anyway. She’d drive up to Birch, pick up Skylie, bring her back to the winery, and let her sleep off her hangover in her studio.

  Lucy’s late-night date with Joey would have to wait. Maybe that realization was what had the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end…

  Chapter Twenty-One

  When Joey and Walker left Shots Saloon, a little after six o’clock, the sky was already dark and a hint of smoke clung to the whipping wind. Walker had bought a couple rounds of shots when they’d first arrived, and Joey had spent the rest of the time sobering up. Walker, on the other hand, had ordered another few rounds and pounded them back himself. The saloon was packed with Blue Lake locals, and more than a few tourists who’d come for the festivities, and Walker loved the attention.

  “You’re in no shape to drive,” Joey said to his friend as they walked to his Ford pickup.

  “I’m fine!” As if on cue, Walker stepped down from the wood-planked sidewalk, but didn’t see or anticipate the dip in the street. He fell. Joey caught him by the arm and hauled him upright. “The damn street moved.”

  Yeah. Uh-huh. Joey took the keys from his friend and help
ed him into the passenger seat. Walker slid across the bench seat and fell over.

  “I just need to lie here for a minute,” Walker mumbled. “The seat is cool on my face.”

  Joey strode around to the driver’s side door and let himself in. “I’ll take you home and call a cab from your place.”

  That’s exactly what he did. Walker lived in a quaint house off of Main Street, in a tiny subdivision where every house had shutters, picket fences, and grassy, flowering yards. Joey had always pictured himself living somewhere like this. But since he’d spent so much time with Lucy, all he could think about was living somewhere with her. In town. In her studio at the winery. Anywhere.

  It wasn’t the place that he wanted, so much as the woman at his side.

  After helping Walker crash on his couch, Joey called a cab and waited out front on the curb.

  He’d be seeing Lucy in ten minutes. No more than fifteen. Would she be finished with the things she needed to do at the winery? If she wasn’t, he’d help her. He’d always been curious about how the grapes were harvested and put into the tanks. Maybe she could walk him around the property, showing him the ropes.

  The cab pulled up. He slid inside and gave the address for StoneMill.

  His phone went off. He swiped the screen to answer, but not before spotting Bud Hammock’s caller ID picture. “What is it, Chief?”

  “There’s an accident thirty miles north of Blue Lake. A logging truck overturned, losing its load. Four other cars and one other truck is involved. I’m already on my way there.”

  “Jesus,” Joey breathed. “I’ll be at the station in a few minutes. Change of plans,” he said to the cab driver. “Blue Lake Fire Station.”

  The driver nodded, changing course.

  “We’ve already rerouted our engine from the fire up north to the accident,” the chief continued. “They’re on scene now, but I’m going to head up and work this side of the road. Try to clear the debris.”