The Space Between

by Victoria H. Smith

  My eyes lidded as she played.

  “Oh, yeah?” My voice nearly growled as I answered her previous question.

  “Yeah.”

  “So, uh,” I said, moving closer to her lips and removing the blanket from across my waist for quick access to her, “What are you going to do about it?”

  “Depends on how I feel once I find the little girl’s room around here.”

  Laughing, I pulled back and watched her sit up.

  She threw her arms up in a stretch.

  “Well, you don’t have many options. There’s there,” I said, pointing to the tree in the distance to our left, “or there.” I pointed to the tree to our right.

  Dropping her arms, she rolled her shoulders back.

  I rubbed them for her, seeing she was clearly as uncomfortable during her sleep as I was.

  She relaxed her whole body, sighing and moving into my hands. “I think I’ll take the nearest gas station. What time is it anyway?”

  Tilting my head, I studied the time on my wrist while I rubbed a tight spot in her shoulders. “Just after 1:00 a.m.”

  “It’s still early. Hey, you might even make it back by curfew.” She nudged me, making me drop my hands from her skin.

  “Right.” I laughed, draping my arms around her body. “I told you. We have to stay and watch the sunrise. It’s great up here.”

  “You come here a lot?”

  “I did when we first moved. It’s just really relaxing up here. Great place to head when things are tense.”

  “I bet.” She pulled her legs in and hugged them, studying the overlook.

  At the angle we were at on the hill, the entire city could be seen in the distance; the South Side, the North Shore, and even the West end of town. There were no divisions. No separations. Every part of the city was linked and connected under the sparkling city lights. As I watched, I was happy to think about a future where I no longer needed this spot on the hill as an outlet to deal with my frustrations at home; a future that would see my time spent with Lacey instead.

  Dropping her legs to the floor of the car, Lacey bent down and routed through our mess of clothing.

  I watched her. “What are you doing?”

  I then watched a little too hard as she found her dress and stood. The blanket left her body, and her glorious curves were on full display for my greedy eyes.

  I leaned back and studied her angles. “Never mind. Continue.”

  She flipped her hair, her curls bouncing over her shoulder, and frowned at me. “I’ll sell tickets next time I guess.”

  “I hope by that statement you mean you will sell one ticket.”

  Chuckling, she slid her dress up her thighs and covered herself. “You need to get dressed, too, so you can take me to the gas station.”

  “Oh, right.” I sat up and got my boxers. “We are coming back, though.”

  Taking her hand behind her back, she zipped the strapless dress mid-way up. “I hope so. I’m not done with you yet.” She winked. “Now, help me clasp this built in bra so I can zip this thing up.”

  It took all I had in me to help her back into her dress when the first thing I made sure I did when we got here was get her out of it.

  After I was done, she routed around and found her panties and heels while I looked for my pants. They were stuck under my seat so I had to tug them a bit to get them out. When I did my phone fell from them.

  Pushing the phone back into my pocket, I hit a key and the backlight triggered on.

  The number of missed calls on the screen blew mind, so I took the phone out so I could see what was up. What was even weirder about the amount of missed calls was the number the calls were from. I didn’t recognize it. “That’s unusual.”

  I called the number and lifted the phone to my ear.

  “What?” Lacey asked, pulling her shoe on.

  I opened my mouth to tell her when a frantic voice I recognized chimed into my ear.

  “Drake? Drake! It’s Margot. Is Lacey with you?” she asked, her voice breathy and rushed.

  “Um, yeah, she is. Just a sec.” I quickly handed the phone to Lacey. Margot sounded completely freaked out.

  “Who is it?” Lacey asked me, putting the phone to her ear.

  I didn’t respond because Lacey’s eyes were shifting as she listened to Margot’s voice on the end.

  “Wait. Wait a second.” Lacey patted the air. “Margot, slowdown. What’s wrong?”

  I waited patiently, but was very uneasy as I watched Lacey, and my heart pumped to full force when I watched her beautiful face wretch into complete sadness within a millisecond.

  “What?” Her hand went to her mouth, eyes watering, and her body in shakes.

  I drew in close to her, grabbing her shoulders. “Lacey, what’s wrong?”

  The phone hanging slack from her ear, she barely took in breaths. “Drake, we have to go to the hospital. It’s Mama.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Lacey

  Margot leaped from her chair as Drake and I breezed through the doors of admitting. Her rainbow braids bounced in a frenzy as she rushed over and grabbed my hands.

  “Lacey, Lacey, thank God you’re here. Where were you? I tried to call you,” she said, her cheeks flushed.

  Her hands shook on my already shaking ones. If it wasn’t for Drake I wouldn’t have been strong enough to make it into the hospital. I practically dry heaved in the parking lot from the panic. Drake held me up from behind now which was the only reason I currently stood. “W-We, we were on a hill. No reception.”

  I swallowed hard, holding my chest.

  Drake came around from behind me, and pulled me into his side. “Lacey, it’s okay. Margot, what happened?”

  “Sue tried to wake Lacey’s mama from her nap for dinner, but she wouldn’t get up. When Sue finally got her to rise, she vomited and wouldn’t stop. Sue called an ambulance, and they got her here. After Sue couldn’t get a hold of Lacey, she called me. When I couldn’t get a hold of Lacey, I called Derrick asking if he had your number. I figured of all people you’d know where she was. Sue had to leave to see to her kids, so I stayed until we could find Lacey.”

  “Where is she, Margot? I need to see her,” I breathed out.

  “She’s down the hall and to the right. They won’t let you in now, though. Visiting hours wrapped up hours ago.”

  “They’ll let me in. I’m her daughter.”

  “You can try, Lacey, but the lady at the desk is a complete bitch.” She grabbed my arm, leading me to the front desk.

  They didn’t know what a bitch was if they refused to let me see my mama.

  The woman in scrubs with brown cropped hair and bags under her eyes looked up from her desk. “Can I help you?”

  “I need to see patient Naya Douglas. She was admitted last night.”

  “I’m sorry, miss, but visiting hours are over. You can try back again in the morning during our normal hours.”

  “But I’m her daughter, and I didn’t get to see her when she came in.”

  “Miss, I’m sorry, but as I said, visiting hours are over.”

  My heart leaped, my eyes welling like they did in the car. “Please. You have to let me see her.”

  Letting go of my arm, Margot slapped her hand on the counter. “Lady, this is complete bullshit. You let that entire family in there long after hours wrapped up.”

  “What family?” I asked.

  “A bunch of rich looking bitches visiting an old white lady who shares a room with your mama, Lacey. The nurse booted me out promptly when hours let up, but let them stay. When I complained, she said it was because they were family. They just left not too long ago, and not even all of them left. One of the younger ones stayed, and I think they’re actually letting her stay overnight, so this lady . . .” Margot shot a glare at the nurse. “. . . can let you in because this girl,” she said, grabbing my arm, “is family to the patient in that room.”

  “Look, ladies, there is no need for the language, and
this hospital does not have to explain its actions to you. You will come back in the morning during normal visiting hours. I understand your need to see your patient, but there is nothing I can do. My hands are tied—”

  “Miss?” Drake stepped forward, flashing a grin.

  The nurse blinked once at him. “Yes?”

  Drake lounged against the counter. “I understand your need to follow the rules, but my girlfriend really needs to see her mother. Is there nothing you can do?”

  I didn’t know what to react to first. The fact that Drake regarded me as his girlfriend, or that he was using the charm that always had me weak in the knees to get me in to see Mama. It didn’t matter which one had my initial reaction because both made my heart thump fast.

  The nurse’s cheeks went crimson, and she couldn’t keep eye contact with him. Drake still had the few cuts on his face from the fight, and the bruises, but even those couldn’t take away from his handsome features. He was still sexy as hell, and that paired with his swagger, the nurse could barely keep herself together.

  “Sir, I would love to help,” the nurse said, flustering a bit, “but—”

  “I’m sure we can work something out,” Drake said, drawing a circle on the counter with a long finger, then peeking up at her from behind his jet-black lashes.

  “U-um,” was all she said; completely speechless.

  Drake put his hand on the small of my back, pushing me forward. “Go ahead, Lacey. This beautiful nurse and I will work this out.” He winked at her.

  She didn’t protest as Margot dragged me down the hall.

  “Wow. It would be nice to have that as backup. You’d never have to wait in line again,” Margot said, pulling me around the corner.

  I couldn’t comment on what she said as Mama’s room came into view.

  “I’ll wait out here.” Margot stepped back and let me continue on my own.

  My heart drumming against my chest, I walked into the hospital room. In the first bed was an old white woman and next to her was a chair with a blanket and pillow. Margot was right. They were letting someone stay there with her.

  Passing the sleeping woman’s bed, I went around the curtain to the next one.

  If I had anything in my stomach, I would have thrown it up in that moment.

  Mama lay there with her eyes closed, and her skin discolored. She was pale, her body looking completely drained of life. If her chest wasn’t gently moving up and down, I would have thought she’d passed.

  As I walked in shaking steps forward, her eyes opened.

  “Baby girl.” She smiled, her voice weak.

  She was still beautiful. Even as frail as she was.

  “Mama.” My voice came out shaky as I went to her bed.

  “Oh, don’t look like that. You act like I’m dead already.”

  Forcing myself to ignore her words, I crawled up on her bed and cuddled her small body. If the nurse saw what I did she’d probably kick me out. I was beyond caring at the moment.

  I wrapped my arms around Mama, and soon as I got my nose against the honeydew melon scent of her skin, the tears and whimpering started. She felt so small in my arms. The daughter was supposed to be small, fit into the Mama’s arms. Not the other way around.

  “Baby girl . . .” she whispered, rubbing my leg.

  The tears flowed even more. She would normally hold me. She wasn’t strong enough to even do that now. “You look so weak, Mama.”

  She sighed. “You must not be concerned for me.”

  “How can you say that? Of course I’m concerned. You should be, too.”

  “It’s not that I’m not concerned. It’s that I understand, and I’m okay.

  Blinking down tears, I looked up at her. “What? Understand? Understand what?” I could barely get the words out.

  “I understand that this is how the world works, baby doll. You live, putting your whole heart and soul into the ones you love. Then when you go it’s okay. It’s okay because you know you did a good job. And you wanna know how I know that I did a good job,” she said, squeezing my leg. “You.”

  My lip quivered. “What are you saying? This is just a rough patch. You just went through a batch of treatments, and with my new job we can keep going. You’re going to get better. You’re going to.”

  My words were more for convincing myself at this point. Mama had never looked this bad before, never this weak. I refused to think it was the end, though. I refused to see it.

  “You’ll be okay,” she whispered, smiling bright. “I took care of you. I did. I promise.”

  “N-No, no.” I shook my head, holding her cheek as the tears ran down mine. My dad said I was so strong. Where was my strength now when I needed it the most? “You’re going to be okay. We’ll be okay together. We always are.”

  “You’re going to live your dream and finally live your life. You’re going to make it out.”

  “Stop talking like this. Stop it.”

  She didn’t say anything, and I lost it; completely breaking down and drenching her neck in tears. She let me cry for what seem like hours, only muttering soft words and occasionally shushing my tears.

  “I’m not ready . . .” I gasped.

  “That’s okay, because you’ve overcome the hardest part.”

  I lifted my head, staring into the same eyes that I witnessed every day in the mirror.

  With a shaking hand, she wiped away some of my tears. “The world’s ready for you; now all you have to do is catch up, and I know you will.”

  Letting out a whimpered breath, I kissed her cheek.

  “One day you’re going to make it big. Promise me you’ll let yourself. No matter what happens, you’ll let yourself.”

  I sniffed back my tears, swallowing hard. Leaning in toward her, I rested my head against her temple. “I promise . . .” I whispered against her cheek.

  “Lace?”

  I turned around to the sound of the deep voice.

  Drake peeked from behind the curtain. “The doctor wants to speak to you if you have a moment.”

  Nodding, I wiped my eyes, then gave Mama one last kiss.

  As soon as I left her bed she closed her eyes again, the short conversation too much for her.

  Drake put his arm around me as I went to his side. Passing the bed of the sleeping old woman, we went into the hall.

  The doctor was a short, blonde woman with a long ponytail. I could barely look at her.

  “Hi, Lacey, I’m Dr. Grant.”

  Her voice came out gentle, but that didn’t matter at this point. Even gentle words would cause me to break.

  “Why is she talking like it’s over . . .” I dipped my head at the words, and Drake’s arm tightened around my body.

  “It’s spread to the brain, Lacey.”

  Clinching Drake’s shirt, I gasped to hold in the tears that choked me.

  “When you’re ready we should discuss your options to prepare—”

  I collapsed and Drake caught me, pulling me against his chest.

  “Can you just give her a little bit of time? No more right this second,” he said above me.

  “Of course,” Dr. Grant said. “When you’re ready, Lacey, please come see me. And after we’re done, I must ask you to come back during normal visiting hours. I am sorry, but it’s hospital regulation.”

  “We understand,” Drake said.

  Her steps faded somewhere in the distance. Wherever they went, I didn’t care. All I cared about was the shirt that bunched under my fingers and the scent that was keeping my heart from completely shattering. They allowed me to live in the moment, and I’d take them selfishly.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Drake

  As I packed Lacey’s overnight bag for her shift at my house, I shook my head. “Lace, I think you should spend the day with your mama. My mom will understand.”

  No matter what I said, Lacey insisted on going into work after we left the hospital. She was clearly using her job as a coping mechanism, and because of her stubbo
rnness, I couldn’t make her budge on the issue. The only thing she bent on was the little bit I got her to eat at the hospital and the few hours of sleep I made her take in the car. She wouldn’t let me take her home to sleep because of Ty. The only reason we were at her house now was to quickly get her a change of clothes.

  “I didn’t ask you, Drake.” She came from her closet wearing a skirt and sweater, and holding a pair of shoes.

  Sighing, I let her finish loading the bag.

  “Life still goes on. So please let it.” She attempted to zip her bag, but the zipper got caught. She fumbled with it a bit before giving up on it and going into the living room.

  I sat there on her bed waiting for her to return. When she didn’t, I zipped the bag up for her and took it out to the living room. She sat on the couch, head in her hands and completely silent.

  I held my ground, waiting patiently until she spoke first. I didn’t want to do anything to upset her.

  Finally, she lifted her head, took in a deep breath, and went out the door of her small house.

  All I could do was follow her.

  *

  The car ride to my house was a long and silent one. Lacey wouldn’t speak to me the entire length of the drive. She was like a shell, completely empty and gone from me. When I pulled up into the driveway and parked the car I couldn’t take it anymore. I put my hand on hers. “Lacey, tell me what you need. I’ll do anything. Just tell me what I can do to help.”

  I hated seeing her this way, someone so warm and bright completely defeated. Life did this to her. Not just her mama’s situation. Life. There was only so much even the strongest woman could take, and Lacey had finally met her breaking point.

  “I just need to go to work, Drake.” She grabbed for the handle of the door.

  Pressing a button on my door, I locked her in.

  She tugged once, then leaned back. “Let me out, Drake.”

  “At least, let me kiss you first.” This may have been pushing the tension we currently had between us, but I needed to do something. I needed to give her something, anything, to make her even a little bit better.

  She didn’t look at me. “Your mom might see. Both your parents’ cars are here.”