Have Mercy (Merciless Book 1)

by Trista Jaszczak

I’m sure I look ridiculous. I can’t even speak, but finally I manage to nod. He lets out another laugh and pulls me closer to him.

  “Ryder,” I finally say softly.

  He places a hand tenderly on my cheek. “It’s alright, Mercy, I understand. Just relax with me.”

  I give him another nod. To be honest I didn’t have any idea of what I was going to say. I’m still a shaking mess that has no idea what to do. Finally I just give in and rest my forehead on his chest.

  I wake up to Ryder moving adjusting himself in bed. I look up feeling dazed but my body seems to have finally relaxed.

  He offers me a smile and pushes the hair from my eyes. “Hi, sweetheart.”

  I feel warmth rush to my cheeks immediately. Fucking hell, I feel asleep. Add that to the list of shit that I’ve never done before until I met Ryder.

  “Sleep well?”

  I try to speak but no words come out so I just give him a little nod.

  He lets out a little chuckle. “Don’t worry, you weren’t out long.”

  “I’m sorry,” I finally manage to breathe.

  He shakes his head. “Don’t be, it’s a good way for the body to come down.”

  I purse my lips and sigh. I really have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve always been the get up, shower, and leave kind of person.

  He lets out a little laugh and begins moving slowly. “Come on, shower time.”

  I make another face. I’m so out of my comfort zone I can barely move but I begin trailing after him anyway. I’ve already done this once, I can’t freak out about it now.

  Ryder adjusts the water to a comfortable temperature and lets me step under first. He follows and shuts the glass door. I feel my body immediately relax under the water. There’s no denying that I need this. Ryder squeezes next to me and begins letting the water soak his body. I watch carefully as the water cascades down his face and chest. I swallow hard as he leans his head down letting his hair become soaked. Before I can adjust to such a sight he grabs me pushing his wet lips to mine.

  “It’s not nice to stare,” he teases.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumble softly.

  He lets out a little chuckle. “Relax, Mercy.”

  I give him a nod and finally give into the water, letting it soak my hair and run down my back. I feel Ryder’s hands on my shoulders and he gives them a tender rub. I let out an involuntary sigh. I turn my head to the side allowing the water to hit the side of my neck as Ryder continues to rub at my shoulders. Well, there’s a first time for everything I guess. No sense in trying to fight it when all it does is work me up and make me sound like a broken record.

  I take the time to dry off in silence just to collect my thoughts. It seems there’s no denying it at this point. I’m in deep with Ryder. Ryder meets me in the bathroom, in nothing but his boxer briefs. He smiles at the sight of me and passes me one of his button up dress shirts. This one a lighter blue. There he goes with that walk of shame outfit again. I bite down on my lip and bend over to twist my hair up into the towel. I take the shirt from him and begin putting it on. I guess this means I’m staying here tonight.

  “Are you hungry?” He asks, moving forward to adjust the collar of the shirt.

  I let out a little breath. Now that I can think somewhat clearly I can tell that my stomach is growling. I am hungry. I give him a silent nod and he takes my face in his hands. “I could probably eat something.”

  He gives me a little nod and smiles. “You’ll get used to this yet.”

  I let out a nervous laugh as I feel my cheeks flush. Easier said than done.

  “You finish getting dressed and I’ll whip us up something to eat.”

  I give him another nod as he trails from the bathroom. I flop on the toilet and take my hair from the towel. I release a sigh. I don’t know if it’s because it’s all new or because I’m more afraid than I ever have been but relaxing is a little difficult at that moment. I hate admitting it, but Ryder is different and he’s making me feel different. Maybe that’s the terrifying part. Maybe it’s because I’m letting him on the other side of my wall. Or maybe I’m just out of my fucking mind. I don’t know. I begin running the towel through my hair trying to catch any excess water. At this point all I can do is just take it one step at a time.

  I don’t know why it’s so hard to deny him of anything. I make a plan in my head and then it’s like I go fucking stupid and I just can’t. Needless to say, instead of Ryder taking me home to drop me off, he’s taking me home so that I can grab a few things to stay with him. I can’t very well parade in his shirts and sweat pants that are too big for me. He’s insisted that a full night together will be good for us and that it will make me relax a little more. I’m not entirely sure how that’s true but if he believes it, good for him.

  I grab a small overnight bag and begin tossing things in it that I’ll need. Clothes for tomorrow, a toothbrush, hair brush, a small make-up bag, and some shoes. Ryder said that he’s going to take a comp day since he has one due for putting in some long hours last month. I guess that means I’m playing hooky tomorrow. What do people do when they stay the night with each other? Okay, stupid question, but you have to understand where I’m coming from. I take a deep breath as I toss the bag over my shoulder and meet Ryder who is sitting on my couch. I have got to be out of my mind. I’ve completely lost it.

  He stands up and takes the bag from me. I thank him and smile. I literally have no idea what I’m getting myself into or why I’m doing this. What are we going to do, stay up playing Scrabble all night? Why do people do this? I let out a huff of air. The broken record is back. I just have to suck this up and take it as it comes.

  When we get back to his apartment, he runs to the bedroom to toss my bag on the bed and strips down to his boxer briefs and get into some sleep pants. It’s after one a.m. and surprise, I’m nowhere close to sleepy. Not after that nap I had earlier. I make a face and follow him into the bedroom.

  “So what do you plan on doing with me?”

  He laughs. “You should really lighten up a bit. It’s spending the night Mercy, it’s not rocket science.”

  Maybe for him it’s not. I release a breath. “Okay, maybe I need to word that better. I don’t do this, I’ve never done this, and I don’t know what to do.”

  “You eat junk food, watch TV, and cuddle with me.” He gives his head a shake, “You know, I’m really hurt by the fact that there’s a lot that you’ve missed out on.”

  “Yeah well, if it helps, I didn’t know what I was missing.”

  He gives me a nod as he tugs me into his arms. “Like that mind blowing orgasm that rendered your speechless and lying in a heap in the middle of my bed.”

  There’s the cocky bastard again! I knew he was due out again. I let out a little chuckle. I have to admit the cocky bastard has grown on me and this time I can’t actually deny what he’s saying. It’s actually a very accurate account. I feel my cheeks grow warm.

  “I love when you screamed, begging me for my cock, sweetheart,” he smirks, “I could get used to it.”

  I feel my cheeks heat up again.

  “Was that the first time you’ve ever been tied up?”

  I let out a little laugh. “It seems I’m experiencing a whole lot of firsts with you.”

  “I like this opening up,” he says, “you’re relaxing and we’re getting to know each other.”

  I give him a nod. “Doesn’t make it any less terrifying for me though.”

  “Being hurt is never easy,” he says, “and in your case that’s all you know.”

  I feel my lips turn down into a frown. I never looked at it that way. It started when my dad walked out and ever since I was old enough to even like boys my mom and prepared me for the long road of disappointment and heartache. When I did start dating it was downhill from there. Ones who hit, ones who were crazy, ones who cheated, ones who would date me for a few weeks and then disappear…you name it, I think it’s happened to me.

  I never let it get me dow
n though. I guess I’ve just become numb to it. I expect it anymore. It’s why I don’t like getting attached to someone. I never know when they’ll take off. I think after all these years I’m still trying to figure myself out. I let out a little breath and lean up to plant a kiss on Ryder’s cheek. He gives me a smile. Maybe the whole reason why I’m turned upside down with him is because I am already attached him.

  Its late afternoon before we even think of climbing from bed. Even then we’re too tired to shower and dress. We pad barefoot to his living room where he has me have a seat on his couch. I curl up in one of the corners as he clicks on the TV and passes me the remote.

  Alright, so I’ll admit that sharing a bed with him wasn’t so bad. I slept…well, to be honest, I slept fantastic. Probably the best that I have in a long time. I found it easier than I thought it would be to curl up in Ryder’s arms. Unless by the time we actually went to sleep around four in the morning I was just too tired to over think and worry about it.

  I brush the hair out of my eyes and flip mindlessly through a few channels. I turn to look at Ryder who is busy in his kitchen. “Did you need any help?”

  He shakes his head, “I got this, sweetheart.”

  I lick my lips and turn to face the TV again. Okay, so the morning after seems normal. Whatever’s normal for this. Come to think of it…what is normal for this? I release a breath. So do I go home now? Or do we spend some time together? See, this is why I fucking leave. I let out a breath. I am making this way too difficult.

  Ryder walks over passing me a cup of hot coffee. “Alright now, no judging. I know you have the best cup of coffee in about five states but I do the best that I can.”

  I let out a little laugh and take the cup. “I’m sure you did just fine.”

  “It may taste like tar but this is why I go to your shop for coffee.”

  I let out another loud laugh. I’ll give him on thing, he does have a sense of humor. Who would have thought that Ryder, the man with the cocky bastard side also had a funny man side? I have quick smell and a small sip. Honestly, it’s not as bad as he’s making it out to be.

  The knock at the door makes me jump. Ryder sets his coffee on the table when he excuses himself to answer the door. I lean back into the couch and have another slow sip of the coffee. When I hear the other voice I feel my heart pound. I suck in a gasp of air and move my eyes up slowly. There, standing in front of Ryder is Trenton. My mouth and my shoulders drop. I feel the coffee mug nearly slip from my hands. If there was coffee in my mouth I would have surely spit it out. I blink a few times to see if I’m not imagining things.

  “Fucking Mercy.” Trenton says making a face as he looks from Ryder to me and back to Ryder.

  Ryder looks confused as all I can manage to do is stare. I feel a sudden head ache come on. I can hardly believe my eyes.

  Trenton looks at Ryder and points to me, “the fuck is she doing here?”

  Ryder’s mouth drops and he look back to me. I can’t move, I can hardly think. I feel my heart sink as Ryder looks at me with the saddest eyes that I have ever seen. Did I all of a sudden expect some fucking happily ever after? That was stupid of me.

  To be continued…

  Trista Jaszczak (jazz-ick) is the international bestselling author of Red, Unmasked, Scarred, Skin Deep, and Take Me Home Tonight.

  She is an Air Force spouse and mother to two mischievous and rambunctious little girls. She is originally from Hamilton, Ohio but calls home where ever the Air Force sends her. She currently resides in South Carolina.

  When she isn’t writing, she spends her time with her family on the beach, working as a make-up artist, running, or riding her Harley.

  She loves the outdoors, the moon, old movies, and music.

  Naughty Ever After Collection

  I – Red

  II – Unmasked

  III – Scarred

  IV – Restless (coming soon!)

  Merciless Trilogy

  Have Mercy

  No Mercy (coming soon!)

  Beg For Mercy (coming soon!)

  Wild Nights Collection

  Take Me Home Tonight

  Standalones

  Skin Deep

  Loverboy

  Coming Soon!

  Pay the Price

  Yes, Sir

  If You Leave