Summer at Lavender Bay

by Sarah Bennett

  A roar of laughter rose from the impromptu locals vs. visitors darts match which had sprung up in the corner, and she wandered to that end of the bar to join in the banter. Having made sure everyone had a drink who wanted it, she turned her attention back to the main part of the room and stopped dead at the sight of a familiar figure in the open doorway. Oh, bloody hell.

  With a sharp gesture towards her mum who was already moving to head him off, Eliza rounded the edge of the bar on an intercept path to the door. ‘What are you doing here?’

  Martin glanced over her shoulder, made a move like he wanted to step further into the pub then checked himself when she held her ground. ‘Hello, Eliza.’ His eyes roved over her. ‘You look well.’

  The note of surprise in his voice did little to soothe her nerves or the sick feeling rising in her stomach. ‘You can’t just show up here out of the blue, what were you thinking?’

  He gave her his best hang-dog expression. ‘In your emails you kept saying we needed to talk.’ Those emails he’d chosen to ignore for weeks now. When she opened her mouth to tell him she had nothing to say to him, he hurried on. ‘I need to talk, please. I didn’t come here to fight with you, I promise. Can we just go in the back for a minute?’

  No chance. There was no place for him anymore in the private spaces of her life, and that included any part of her home. ‘We can talk outside, but it’ll have to be quick because you can see how busy we are.’ Eliza looked over to her mum. ‘Can you cover for me a minute?’

  ‘Yes, love.’ Annie raised an eyebrow at Martin but gave him no other acknowledgement as she passed them on her way to the bar.

  Eliza bit her lip as the ingratiating smile fell from her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s face. He’d always been a suck-up when it came to her parents. In her younger days, she’d found it charming the way he’d tried so hard to get on with them. It was only later she’d understood it to be another part of his manipulation tactics. She gestured once more to the door and followed him outside.

  The promenade was busy with late evening strollers enjoying the last of the sunshine. The interminable heat had cooled somewhat, helped by a breeze coming in off the sea. Dog walkers ambled along the shoreline, as the final few families trudged off the beach laden with windbreakers, cold boxes and inflatable lilos.

  Weaving her way through the crowd of pub patrons leaning against the outside wall, Eliza folded her arms and strode to the railing lining the opposite side of the promenade where they would be far enough away from the drinkers to afford a modicum of privacy. Leaning with her back against the metal rails, she faced Martin. ‘Five minutes, and then I’ll have to get back inside.’

  ‘I booked a flight back as soon as I got your last email.’ After seeing the solicitor on Monday, she’d written to Martin and advised him it was time to seek his own legal advice.

  ‘But you must have known this was coming.’ She tried to keep the exasperation from her voice. Fighting with him was the last thing she wanted as Mr Symonds had made it clear she would need Martin’s cooperation if she wanted to extricate herself from their marriage any time soon. Without a claim of adultery, and with them not having lived apart for long enough, the only legal grounds she had was if she could get him to agree to a petition for unreasonable behaviour.

  Wringing his hands, he stared past her out towards the water. ‘I thought you’d come back. I wanted to give you some space to think about things, but I always assumed once you’d had a break and sorted out your head—or whatever—that you’d come back to me.’

  Guilt sliced through her at the pain in his words. ‘That’s not going to happen, Martin. I’m sorry, but you need to accept that it’s over.’

  ‘But I didn’t do anything wrong.’ His voice trembled like he was on the edge of tears. ‘All I ever did was try to love you, Eliza.’

  Dumbfounded, Eliza stared at him. Did he honestly believe that? After what had happened in the airport, after all those decisions he’d made without consulting her, the years of prioritising what he wanted and never stopping to assume she might not want the same thing? ‘That’s not how it felt from my side, though, Martin. I was unhappy for a very long time, and you didn’t seem interested in doing anything to remedy that.’

  ‘Well you can’t put all the blame on me.’ The trembly voice slipped into something more petulant. ‘You should have told me what you wanted instead of agreeing all the time. And now you want to make out like it’s all my fault. That I’ve been the unreasonable one. Remember who left who at the airport, Eliza. You were the one that walked out—not me!’

  This wasn’t getting them anywhere. And maybe he had a point. If she’d stood her ground earlier, they might not be in this mess. But she hadn’t, and they were. And now she’d met Jack and had a taste of what life could be like with him…

  ‘The unreasonable behaviour thing is just a means to an end, Martin, it doesn’t mean I’m blaming you. If it bothers you that much, you petition for divorce instead and we can come up with grounds for my unreasonable behaviour.’ Her solicitor had recommended they work together to establish five or six incidents they could state in the petition to get it through the courts.

  ‘But I don’t want a divorce.’ He ran his hands through his hair in a gesture of sheer frustration. ‘I’m doing this all wrong. I love you so much, and these past weeks without you have been hell. I know I haven’t shown you that often enough, that I’ve taken you for granted for far too long. I wanted Abu Dhabi to be a fresh start for us, hoped that a new place would give us a chance to fix things, but I was being an idiot. I wasn’t trying to fix our problems, I was compounding them.’

  Propping his foot on the railing behind them, he crossed his arms across his chest and sighed. ‘I’ll give up the job there, Eliza, if that’s what you want. I’ll even move back here to the bay. Just tell me what I need to do to make things right between us and I’ll do it. Please give me one more chance.’

  He sounded so heartfelt, so sincere, that a part of her heart ached for him. Why hadn’t they had this conversation two years ago? Hell, even six months ago it might have made a difference. ‘I’ve waited so long to hear you say these things, Martin—’ The scuff of feet behind her distracted Eliza, but when she turned around there was no one in the vicinity. Still, she took his arm and led him further along the promenade. What she had to say to him next didn’t need an audience.

  Once they were well away from everyone else, she tried to let go of his hand, but Martin had other ideas. Keeping a tight grip on her fingers he pulled her forwards so she lost her balance and stumbled into his chest. To her horror, he lowered his face to hers as though coming in for a kiss.

  ‘Martin, no.’ Twisting away she evaded his mouth and managed to break free of his hold. ‘What are you doing?’

  Frowning in confusion, he reached for her hand again. ‘But you said you’d been waiting to hear me say how much I need you.’

  Oh, God. ‘You didn’t let me finish. Yes, I’ve waited a long time for you to say all those things, too long. There might have been a time when we could have picked up the pieces, but it’s too late now. We want different things.’

  ‘Don’t say that.’ Martin swiped a hand across his eyes. ‘Don’t you say that. I want whatever you want, Eliza, whatever you need to make you happy.’

  The lump in her throat was the size of an egg as she uttered the four hardest words of her life. ‘Then let me go.’

  ‘You can’t mean that.’ He shook his head. ‘You’re just trying to punish me.’

  That was the last thing she wanted. Once upon a time she might have, but now she just wanted this all to be over and done with. ‘I don’t love you anymore. I’m sorry, Martin, but it’s over between us.’

  ‘Eliza!’

  The sound of his sobs burned in her ears every step she took back towards the pub. Tears soaking her own cheeks, she hurried through the bar with her head down and straight out the back. She didn’t stop until she reached the shelter of her own room and
fell onto the bed.

  Burying her face in her pillow, Eliza wept. Not in despair, but in mourning. Martin would always be her first love. Her first of so many things; but not her last. Though she ached for what might have been, what could have been if they’d had the sense and maturity to communicate with each other better, she had no regrets. The very best of her past couldn’t hold a candle to the promise of her future.

  It was only as she finally drifted off to sleep that she realised Jack hadn’t called to wish her goodnight.

  Chapter Nineteen

  ‘I’ve waited so long to hear you say these things, Martin.’ Eliza’s words haunted Jack all night. Having had a terrible day, he’d wanted nothing more than to spend a few minutes in her sweet, calming company. After a quick shower, he’d grabbed his keys and driven the few miles down to the bay. Leaving the car at the top of the promenade, he’d been enjoying the cooling breeze coming in off the sea as he strolled along when he spotted Eliza deep in conversation with a man he hadn’t recognised.

  Curious, he’d approached quietly just in time to hear the man beg for another chance and then Eliza had shattered Jack’s heart into pieces. Unable to bear witness to their reunion for a moment longer, he’d turned on his heel and run like the hounds of hell were chasing his heels. He’d driven back to the farm on autopilot. Not knowing how to answer his mum’s surprise enquiry at his early return, he’d headed straight upstairs and ignored her tentative knock at his door when she’d come up to bed.

  Gritty-eyed, Jack avoided his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he cleaned his teeth the next morning. The door swung open and Noah bounced in already dressed in shorts and a striped T-shirt he’d managed to put on back to front. Jack crouched down. ‘Here, let me help you with that. What are you doing up so early?’

  Head buried under his top as Jack tried to help him wriggle his arms free, Noah answered, ‘Eliza’s taking me to see the sandcastles today.’ Shit! In an attempt to provide entertainment for the tourists, the local traders’ association had paid for a beach sculptor to visit. Today was the first day he’d be working, and Jack had forgotten all about it. ‘There’s been a change of plans, buddy, you’ll have to stay here for the day. You can help Nanna in your new garden.’

  Noah scowled. ‘I don’t want to. I want to see the sandcastles! Mr B said he’d help me build one afterwards.’

  And this was exactly why Jack should have listened to his first instinct and kept Noah and Eliza apart. She could break Jack’s heart if she wanted to, hell, it was his own fault for getting involved with a married woman, but hurting Noah wasn’t bloody fair. ‘Eliza and her folks are going to be busy for a while, so you won’t be able to spend any more time with them.’ It was a crappy excuse, but he needed some time to work out how to tell him the truth.

  ‘But why?’ The look of bewilderment on his nephew’s face echoed the confusion in Jack’s heart. ‘Did I do something wrong?’

  ‘Ah, no, buddy.’ Jack gathered him into his arms. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong. Not one thing.’

  Having managed to calm Noah down, Jack left him to wash his face while he tapped out a quick text to Eliza. I’ll be keeping Noah here with me. Within a few seconds his phone began to ring. Gritting his teeth, he answered. ‘What?’

  ‘I just got your text, is everything all right?’ Eliza sounded a little out of breath and Jack’s mood turned ugly at the thought of what she might have been doing before she called.

  ‘Given your change in circumstances, I assumed you’d have something better to do than babysit my kid,’ he snapped.

  ‘Change in circumstances, what on earth are you talking about, Jack? What’s going on, you sound terrible.’

  And who was to blame for that? ‘I decided to drop by and see you last night and was just in time to catch that touching reunion between you and Martin.’ He lowered his voice to a hiss. ‘I might forgive you one day for what you’ve done to me, but I’ll never forgive you for letting Noah down. Never.’ He hung up, unable to say any more with the roaring pain inside him threatening to choke him. When the phone rang again, he rejected the call.

  ‘Uncle Jack?’

  Jack banged the back of his head against the wall hard enough to hurt as he stuffed everything down as far as it would go. ‘Hey, buddy, ready for breakfast?’

  Wary hazel eyes stared up at him. ‘Who were you shouting at? Was that Eliza?’

  Damn it, so much for giving himself some time to work out how to break the news. ‘Eliza and I aren’t friends anymore, Noah. I’m sorry.’

  He reached for his nephew, but the boy ducked past him and ran down the landing. ‘No! No, it’s not fair!’

  Jack reached the top of the stairs in time to see Noah dash past his mum. ‘What’s going on, what’s all the shouting about?’

  A wave of bleakness swept over him and he sank down on the top step. ‘Eliza’s husband showed up and they’re getting back together.’

  ‘What? Are you sure? I thought things were getting serious between the two of you.’

  ‘I saw it with my own eyes, Mum.’ A crash sounded from the kitchen and Jack jumped to his feet. ‘Noah overhead us on the phone just now, and he’s not taking it well.’ He wasn’t the only one.

  His mum held up her hand. ‘Leave him to me, love. You’ve enough on your plate. I was coming up to let you know Ben and Simon are here.’ The two farmhands were there to help him load the cut lavender into the steam vats.

  ‘Christ.’ Jack scrubbed a hand over his face. ‘Okay, you see to Noah and I’ll get things started outside.’ The harvest wouldn’t wait for him to get his act together.

  The morning flew past in a cloud of dust, tiny purple flowers and sweat. By the time Jack paused to gulp down a sandwich and a mug of tea, his mum reported they’d cut the whole north-east field and would likely get at least half of the north-west done before they stopped for the day. After draining the dregs of his cup, Jack handed it back to his mum. The muscles in his back had already started to nag so he rolled his shoulders before the break in constant movement caused them to seize up. By the end of the day he’d be feeling as crap on the outside as he did on the inside. ‘How’s Noah?’

  She sighed. ‘He was very upset. Once Mac got going with the cutting, I took him over to the garden but he wasn’t very interested. He complained of a headache, so I let him go upstairs for a nap. He’s slept right through lunch, but I didn’t want to disturb him. Hopefully when he wakes up he’ll be feeling a bit better.’

  ‘Poor kid. I’ll have to try and make it up to him somehow. This is all my fault.’

  His mum shook her head. ‘Don’t blame yourself, love, these things happen in life and he’ll bounce back soon enough. He’s a lot more resilient than you give him credit for. I’m more worried about you.’ There was more than a hint of moisture on her lashes.

  ‘I’ll be okay.’ Jack forced out the lie. He wouldn’t be okay, not for a bloody long time. He hooked an arm around his mum’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. ‘I couldn’t do this without you.’

  The smile she gave him was watery. ‘And you’re a good boy. A good man, I should say. Your dad would be so proud if he could see you now.’

  It was his turn to water a little. ‘Behave yourself, Mum, or you’ll have us both in floods. Look, I’d better get back to work.’

  His mum reached up to pat his chest. ‘All right, love, I’ll leave you in peace. I’ve already put a lasagne in, and there’s plenty of salad in the fridge to go with it. We can sit down for a proper family dinner and talk things out with Noah.’

  ‘Cheers, Mum, you’re a star.’ Jack strode across the yard and was in the process of pulling his work gloves out of his back pocket when his phone rang. Seeing Eliza’s name on the screen, all the fury he’d been swallowing down came roaring back to life. ‘Can’t you take a hint and just leave me the hell alone?’

  ‘Oh God, Jack, there’s been an accident!’ Her breath panted in his ear as though she was running. ‘It’s Noah. Yo
u must come!’

  ‘Noah? What the hell are you talking about. He’s upstairs in his room…’

  ‘No, he’s not. He’s out on the rocks!’ The world stopped, or he kept moving, whatever it was Jack staggered as though out of sync with time. His vision narrowed, the edges going black as the wail of sirens filled his ears and he felt once more the heavy weight of the doctor’s hand on his shoulder as he told him Jason was gone.

  ‘Noah! No, darling, stay where you are, don’t move!’ Eliza’s frantic cry snapped him back into reality.

  ‘Where are you?’ He spun on his heel, running flat out for the house.

  ‘Top end of the beach, near the car park. Noah’s hurt, I have to get down there. Please, Jack, hurry!’ She was gone before he could reply.

  ‘Keys, keys!’ He thundered into the kitchen, startling his mum who was arms-deep in the washing-up bowl.

  ‘They’re on the dresser.’ She nodded in that direction then reached for a tea towel. ‘What is it, what’s wrong?’

  ‘Noah’s had an accident on the beach. I don’t know the details. I’ll phone you when I get there.’

  She trailed him to the door, white-faced with the same panic gripping his own stomach. ‘Noah? But he’s upstairs…’ Her eyes widened in horror. ‘Oh, Lord! I should’ve checked on him, but I thought it was best just to let him sleep.’

  ‘Well, apparently he had other ideas. I’ve got to go.’ He called the last over his shoulder as he sprinted for the Land Rover.

  Please, God. Please, God. Like some kind of sick déjà vu, the same mantra he’d chanted on that awful drive to the hospital just a few short months ago after Jason’s crash fell from his lips as he all but threw the heavy vehicle down the farm track and onto the winding streets of the town.