Under Your Skin

by Shannyn Schroeder

  Then without warning he opened his lips and sucked hard on her clit, sending a sharp jolt of pleasure through her. Her hips bucked, but he pressed them back down with his wide palms. He mumbled something against her, or maybe it was just a moan, but the vibrations set off another round of pulsations.

  She began to writhe beneath him, at least as much as she could given the hold he had on her. But he didn’t let up. He changed the simple rhythm and it became unpredictable. All Norah knew was that she wanted more. Her fingers wove into the silky strands of his hair and she held tight, as if he might try to escape.

  The orgasm built and she braced her heels on the bed and rose to meet Kai’s mouth. She let go of his head and grabbed a pillow. Placing it on her face, she released a long moan as the orgasm crashed through her. Her muscles quivered and she lost the ability to hold her legs up on the bed.

  Kai held her as she spasmed and moaned and slid away. Then he climbed on the bed beside her and tossed the pillow. “Feel better?”

  She huffed a weak laugh. He kept throwing her words back at her. “Much.” She ran a hand down his chest. “But I’d like it so much more if you could be inside me right now.”

  He groaned and lowered his face to her neck and kissed her.

  “Don’t get me wrong, your oral skills, they’re phenomenal, but I’m missing the sex part. I want you on top of me, pushing into me, filling me.” Taking me, she almost added, but that felt going too far, even though she meant it.

  “Trying to kill me?” he whispered against her skin, causing a shiver.

  “Just being honest.”

  He pushed up on an elbow to see her. The only light in the room filtered in from the window, an odd mixture of moonlight and streetlight. “So you’re saying one orgasm isn’t enough.”

  “It’s not that ...”

  But his hand was already stroking her sensitive skin. “You’re a greedy girl, aren’t you?”

  She hadn’t been looking for more, well, not like this, but his fingers were like magic against her and before she knew it, her hips were rocking. She pushed hard against his shoulder to make him lie back. “I might be greedy, but I’m not selfish.”

  Climbing on top of him, she straddled his face and lowered her mouth to his waiting dick. They pleasured each other using only hands and mouths again and all Norah could think was how amazing sex would be once they were finally able to do it.

  Round two was more hurried and frantic than the first. It was like a fun race to the finish and by the time they were lying side by side, panting for air, Norah was about as relaxed as she’d ever been. She curled next to Kai and traced the line of a complicated tattoo that covered his side from armpit to hip.

  “I want you to do a tattoo for me.”

  “Huh?” His voice was groggy and she derived quite a bit of satisfaction from that.

  She pushed up on an elbow and flipped her hair out of her face as she looked down at him. Man, he was beautiful. Dark hair wild around his head, his dark eyes staring up at her, and golden skin interrupted by ink. “I want a tattoo of Ella’s name and something small with it.”

  “Don’t you want Tommy to do it?”

  She shook her head. “Tommy will try to talk me out of it.”

  “Where do you want it?”

  “I don’t know. What do you think?”

  “It hurts less on fleshy parts. Someplace like your ribs will hurt. Your arm or shoulder would be easy.”

  She smiled. “Right now, I have lots of fleshy parts. But I don’t want it where other people can see. It’s just for me. Maybe on my hip?” She angled her body and traced a finger along her hip bone.

  His hand followed hers. “Not that fleshy. But I can make it work. Ideas for design?”

  She bit her lip. “You’ll think it’s dumb.”

  His thumb ran down her cheek to her lip, tugging it from between her teeth. “I doubt it’ll even make the top fifty dumb things people have had me tattoo on them.”

  “I’d like a dragonfly.”

  “Not dumb. I’ve done dragonflies before.”

  “So I guess I’m not all that original.”

  “You don’t need to be original. Just have to like it.”

  She sighed and laid her head on his chest. “I should go. It’s getting late.”

  He didn’t say anything, didn’t ask her to stay, which while she wasn’t expecting it, would’ve been nice.

  “Why’d your family send you to Boston?”

  His question caught her by surprise. She listened to the steady thump of his heart before answering. “Jimmy joined the army. Ever since my mom was killed when I was a toddler, Jimmy took care of us.”

  “What about your dad?”

  “He was a cop. Worked a lot of hours. Five kids are expensive. He provided, but Jimmy cared for us.” She inhaled deeply. “Anyway, Jimmy was worried about me. I was twelve and hitting puberty and he didn’t trust my other brothers to keep me out of trouble. Mostly because they were causing plenty on their own. And I was set to follow them.”

  His hand stroked lazily up and down her back and she wanted to sleep like that. Murmuring, she added, “They did what they felt was best for me. Like I did for Ella.”

  She sighed next to him, enjoying the open honesty of the conversation, so she asked, “Why did you become a tattoo artist?”

  “I’m good at it.”

  “You’re kind of young to own your own studio though. I would think having to worry about employees would be a lot of pressure.” And everything she knew about Kai told her he limited how many people he let into his life.

  “I’m an ex-con. Having a felony on your record is one of those things that follows you. I got tired of having to fill out background check forms and having people look at me like I’m less than human because I fucked up.” He spoke like it was no big deal, but she felt his muscles beneath her tense.

  She said nothing for a minute. She tried to wrap her head around this. He was a felon. That took bad boy to a whole new level for her.

  “Feeling like you need to jump out of my bed now?”

  She smiled. “No.”

  “I have a hockey game Friday night. Do I need to ask Jaleesa to come over?”

  And the intimate conversation ended as quickly as it started. His question was too cryptic for her brain. Was he asking her to come to the game or asking her if she wanted another night off? “No. I can work.”

  “Okay.” His fingers stroked up and down her back. “Bring a bag and plan to spend the night.”

  Her heart did a weird tumble. “Okay,” she whispered.

  “And I have my poker game Sunday night. Can you come over for a bit to hang with my mom?”

  “Why? She doesn’t need much help.”

  “She drives me crazy when she knows I have the guys over. No shit, she texted me like eight times in an hour the first weekend she was here. It was worse than babysitting a toddler who doesn’t want to go to sleep.”

  She chuckled. She could totally see Lani doing that to annoy him. “I’ll be here on one condition.” She rested her chin on her hand and looked up at him. “Tell me why you don’t want your mom to know who you’re playing with.”

  “She doesn’t like them.”

  “There’s a story there.”

  “You asked for a reason, not a story.”

  “You want me to be here, I want the story.”

  His sigh could’ve belonged to any of the O’Malley men, long-suffering and irritated, but resigned. “I’ve known most of those guys since I was a teenager. We ran in a gang together, got in a lot of trouble.”

  He tapped her shoulder to get her to move and then he got off the bed. He went into his dresser and pulled out underwear. Must be time for serious conversation, something that clearly couldn’t take place naked.

  After stepping into his underwear, he leaned against the window and looked out. “We did a lot of shit together, especially Rooster. He introduced me to all of life’s darker things. Drugs, booze, wome
n, and eventually crime to pay for those. When I was twenty, I went to jail for burglary. My mom never forgave Rooster.”

  Norah sat up and reached for her clothes. “But you’re not into that stuff anymore, right?”

  She hadn’t thought to ask him before. He’d offered no indication he was still in a gang, no evidence of drug use.

  “No. Jail did what it was intended to do: teach me a lesson. I straightened myself out and I left the life behind. Except for Rooster.”

  “Is Rooster still into all the darker things?”

  Kai nodded. “I let my mom think he’s not around because she’d just get upset.”

  “So you lie to her.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “By omission. Keeps things simple.”

  Norah wasn’t sure what to do with this information. Her earlier thought of bad boy came back. But Kai wasn’t just the ex-con, ex-gangbanger bad boy. He was reformed. In truth it was something that had drawn her to him. A guy who grew and learned from his fuckups, who owned them and moved on, was sexy. Part of her regretted forcing him into sharing his past because he obviously didn’t want to. The other part was grateful because if left to himself, he might never tell her anything, and she really wanted to know him.

  It shouldn’t matter, she reminded herself, because they were temporary. If he chose to keep things from his mom, she had no business judging. Especially since she’d kept her pregnancy from her family for months.

  “See you tomorrow.” She went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

  “I’ll walk you out.”

  She eyed his underwear. “I can handle a walk to the curb.”

  “Give me a minute.” He grabbed his jeans off the floor and jumped into them. “Let’s go.”

  He stood there, shirtless and barefoot with his hair a mess, and man, did she want to climb all over him. He took her elbow and propelled her from his room. “Stop looking at me like that.”

  “Like what?” she croaked.

  “You just came twice and you’re looking at me like I’m an ice-cream cone in August.”

  She couldn’t help it. She licked her lips. He groaned. He pulled her out the front door and straight to her car.

  She unlocked the door but turned to find him standing close, close enough that she didn’t have enough room to open the door. “Sorry about Tommy.”

  “Nothing to be sorry for. You managed to completely take my mind off your brother.”

  She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him close for a kiss. His body pressed her against the car and she moaned.

  He moved his mouth from hers and kissed her jawline and back to her ear. “Your moans are so fucking hot. I can’t wait to hear them when I’m buried inside you.”

  She shivered. The man was so good at turning her on. He kissed her cheek. “Good night.”

  “’Night.”

  “Drive safe and call me when you get home.”

  Norah rolled her eyes.

  He caught her chin and turned her to him. “Call me.”

  “Fine.”

  She got in her car and he stood by the curb until she turned at the end of the block. Her heart raced and it wasn’t just because he’d gotten her hot and bothered. His words weren’t simple. That he wanted her to call when she got home made him sound like a boyfriend. He cared and that was deadly for her.

  Any sign of caring would make her fall and she didn’t want to fall for him. He’d break her heart and she knew it. She just didn’t know how.

  * * *

  Kai didn’t know what was up, but something was. Norah had called and said she needed a few hours off today and that she’d explain when she got to his house. It wasn’t like her to spring something on him last minute. When she pulled up outside, he stood on the porch and waited for her.

  “What’s going on?” he asked as she neared. Her face was filled with emotion, but he couldn’t read it.

  “I’m sorry to do this to you. Avery called this morning. He’s on his way to Chicago.” She shook her head. “He wants to talk and go see Ella. I know it’s last-minute, but . . .”

  Kai watched her speak and heard her words, but didn’t know what to make of them. She was torn and he didn’t know what he could do for her. “I’ll handle my mom. Are you okay?”

  “I think so. I just . . . I don’t know. I didn’t expect to see him again.”

  Kai didn’t want her to see him again. This man had left her alone. “You didn’t need to come here to tell me.” He would’ve preferred if she hadn’t. Hearing it was bad enough, but to see how conflicted she was made it worse. And there was nothing he could do about it. This was why he’d tried to keep his distance, keep things simple. Her complications tore at him.

  “I wanted to let you know why I needed time off and . . .”

  “And?”

  She reached for his hand. Her fingers slid too easily through his. “I have to do this. You understand, right?”

  “Yeah.” His rational brain understood. However, the primal part of him wanted to make her stay. He wasn’t sure why. Jealousy? It was an emotion he’d refused to feel.

  “That’s not too convincing. I can’t fight with you about this.” Her eyes spoke before the word came. “Please.”

  He pulled her into his arms. “No fighting, remember?” As he held her, he knew why he didn’t want to let her go. Protectiveness. That guy had the ability to hurt her and Kai wouldn’t be able to stand by and watch.

  She was someone who could get him to fight again. Not with her, or over her, but for her. And that was scarier than anything.

  “I get it,” he said, trying to reassure her. “I don’t like it. I think he’s a bigger asshole than I am. But I understand.”

  “Thank you,” she mumbled against his chest. She sighed and held him tight for a full minute before pulling away. “I’ll be back later.”

  “Take the day. Work out whatever you need to.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  Her agreement irked him but he wasn’t sure why. He wanted her with him in his house, which was exactly why he needed to let her go.

  * * *

  Norah circled into O’Hare to get Avery from the terminal. She saw him waving from the curb, a backpack slung over his shoulder. Looked like another one-day visit. Her conversation with Kai still nagged at her and she didn’t think she was ready to see Ella. The overwhelming emotions pushed at her as Avery climbed into the car.

  “Hey,” he said with a bright smile.

  “Hey.”

  “You sure it’s okay for me to see Ella?”

  Norah nodded. “I talked with Kim and she said we can stop by whenever.”

  “You’ll go with me?”

  “That’s why I’m here.”

  He touched her cheek, a motion that once would’ve had her leaning in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

  She shifted out of his reach and pulled back into traffic.

  Avery twisted and bent to dig into his bag. He came up with a fluffy stuffed bunny. “I got her this. Do you think she’ll like it?”

  Norah smiled. “She’s a month old. I think it’s too early for her to have preferences. But she’ll grow up knowing it came from you. That matters.”

  He nodded and clutched the animal in his lap.

  “Ready?”

  “Yeah.”

  They drove to Kim and Trevor’s in silence. She couldn’t remember things between them ever being awkward like this. Not even on their first date. They clicked. Maybe there was just too much stuff between them now. And of course, she had Kai.

  Kim met them at the door holding Ella bundled in a blanket. “You have excellent timing. She just woke up from a nap.”

  Kim reached out and gave Norah a one-armed hug. Then she did the same to Avery. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

  She turned and led them into the living room where she had baby stuff everywhere. A bottle sat on the coffee table. She looked at Norah and Avery. “Would either of you like to feed her?”

 
Norah shook her head, but Avery stepped forward. Norah hadn’t held Ella since the hospital. It was safer that way. Maybe one day she’d be able to do it without feeling the ache in her chest, but for now, she needed to keep her distance. She was afraid if she didn’t, she’d long for her daughter and she didn’t want that.

  Avery sat on the edge of the couch and Kim placed Ella in his arms.

  He thrust the bunny at Kim. “I got this for her.”

  “Thank you.” She took the bunny and set it on a bookshelf.

  Avery picked up the bottle and began feeding Ella.

  Kim said, “Would you like me to take a picture?”

  “That’d be great.” He looked up at Norah. “Take it with us?”

  She wanted to scream no, but she knew she was being irrational. She sat beside Avery who angled Ella in one arm, still keeping the bottle propped in her mouth like a pro.

  “Squeeze closer,” Kim said. Norah leaned in and smiled as Kim snapped the photo.

  As soon as it was done, Norah jumped off the couch. She looked at Avery and Ella and a torrent of emotion ripped through her. Here was this man who she believed she might’ve loved, holding and caring for their child. She should want this. All she felt, however, was the need to escape.

  Kim touched her arm. “I have coffee on in the kitchen. Would you like some?”

  Norah nodded because she couldn’t speak. In the kitchen, she was able to take a deep breath. She’d come today because she knew Avery needed her to guide the way. She knew Kim and Trevor and theoretically should’ve been able to ease the awkwardness.

  Instead, she felt like she might fall apart.

  This was why she hadn’t visited. She wasn’t ready for all of these emotions. She didn’t know how to handle them.

  Kim didn’t say anything in the kitchen. It was as if she knew Norah might snap. She simply poured a cup of coffee and handed it to Norah. Then she left to check on Avery and Ella. Norah heard the quiet conversation in the other room, but she stayed rooted to her spot.

  Believing she’d made the right choice, the best choice, was hard to do when she faced Ella. She didn’t know how to hold her and then give her away again. She knew her baby was safe and loved and that’s all she ever wanted for Ella.