Giving In to You (The Giving Trilogy Book 1)

by L. M. Carr

  “So your company was just a front for Chris’ money?” He’s right. He was stupid to get involved with their shady business.

  “Chris wanted me to close up shop and open up under a different name, but I wouldn’t do it. It wasn’t just me anymore—I had my kids at this point. I was approached by a federal agent who was part of a team investigating Chris for illegal activities with ties to corruption in New York. Money laundering, bribery, coercion, gambling, prostitution. You name it, he did it.”

  My eyes rounded like giant gumballs. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  I pull my knees in and wrap my arms around them, listening intently, hanging onto every single word.

  “The blonde woman you know as Nora is the agent who approached me.”

  Nora is an FBI agent? But she’s sexy and gorgeous and so… feminine. I guess I picture Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality before the makeover when I think “female FBI agent.” I realize my mistake immediately. He was honest when he told me that she was an “agent.” I assumed that he meant she was a real estate agent, like Gina.

  “You’re not going to like this part…” he says, letting his fingers circle my knee. “You know how before you I didn’t date, I just…well, you know…”

  It’s my turn to roll my eyes at him.

  “Yes, you were a man-whore...I already know this.”

  “Well, to keep tabs on Chris and his business dealings, Nora acted as my lover, even escorting me to business lunches and social events. She plays the part of a pretty, dumb blonde quite well.”

  And another eye roll.

  “When you crashed into my life, I had no idea what I was in for or how hard I’d fall for you.” He smiles lovingly as he unwraps my arms from my legs to pull me close. Water splashes as I scoot forward.

  “Nora told me to stay away from you until this was all over, but I couldn’t resist you.”

  My eyes roll and I suck my teeth. I’m sure she didn’t want to just “play the part” of his lover. “That’s not why she wanted you to stay away from me, I’m sure.”

  “No, it’s not like that, babe. She knows how people like Chris can be and she said it wasn’t fair to get involved with you until this was over.” Before I know it, I’m turned around cradled against his chest. I love it here. It’s my favorite place in the world.

  “So, what was with all the late night calls?” I make small circles on his soapy thigh. “You always said it was business.”

  “It was. There are a lot of agents on this investigation who are always following leads. The name ‘Nora’ is programmed into my phone for about seven or eight different people—all agents.”

  “Remember the day we were supposed to go to New York and I had to cancel?”

  I nod, remembering how hurt I was that he canceled. I also remember giving him the cold shoulder and not wanting to hear his explanation.

  “Nora needed me to be in New York with her that morning. We had to make it seem like we were there for the weekend. We just ‘happened’ to be nearby when Chris met with his associates that morning and since she was my ‘lover,’ Chris never questioned anything about her being there. A lot of crazy shit went down that day.”

  “So are you in trouble with the Feds for fronting that business?” The thought that Adam is involved in anything illegal makes me sick to my stomach. It was that kind of activity that ultimately killed my father and pushed my mother over the edge.

  “No. I could’ve been, but since I’ve agreed to work with them, they’ve offered some immunity. It’ll be swept under the rug, so to speak.” His fingers lace with mine and squeeze softly. “It’s been months of secret meetings and looking at prospective ‘job sites’ while they gathered information about Chris and his ties to New York.”

  “Are you really a real estate developer or is there something else you need to tell me?” I laugh quietly.

  “Mia, I have worked so hard to build my business. It took a long time to get my shit together after partying so hard for years with Chris. You can’t even imagine the situations we used to get ourselves into. Besides, I’m good at what I do. C’mon, you’ve seen me in action.” Ah, there’s the arrogant man I love so much. “I wasn’t about to let Chris DeGennaro or anyone else ruin what I’ve built.”

  “I have one last question. Gina. How involved is she in all of this?”

  Adam’s lips have moved from my shoulders to the nape of my neck, kissing and inhaling simultaneously.

  “She’s not involved in the illegal part of it. She’s a good realtor with a legitimate business. I’m not sure she even knows about her brother’s activities.”

  “Is that why you were always with her?” I know the answer to this question, we’ve been over this before, but I’m feeling insecure after my run in with her and the whole Nora situation.

  “I thought you said you had only one more question.” I can’t see him, but I know he’s smiling against my neck.

  “I lied.”

  “Yes, mostly. She was really helpful when the kids were little, but then when the investigation started Nora suggested that I get closer to her to find out what she knew. I never would’ve agreed if I thought for one second that my kids were ever in any kind of danger.”

  “So what happens now?” I ask, but Adam must misunderstand my question because he tenses behind me.

  “With what? Us?” His words are filled with sadness.

  “No, I meant the investigation.” I can tell my words reassure him because he lets out a deep breath.

  “It’s almost over, but we have to wait a little longer.” A chuckle of disbelief seeps out. “Chris has no idea that they’re onto him or that I’m involved in any way.”

  “You sure about that?” I ask shyly.

  With absolute confidence in his voice he answers, “I’m sure.” His hands trail across my breasts before moving lower down my belly. I know where he’s headed and I’m happy to widen the space between my legs to allow him better access.

  “Good because I know all too well how vindictive that family can be.”

  “Come to bed with me.” Tiny circles go round and round on my swollen bud while fingers delve into me. If he wants me to go to bed, he should probably stop what he’s doing, because Lord knows I don’t want to move an inch. How is it possible that one man can be so talented?

  “I can’t move…” I murmur. The spark of heated energy courses from my head to my toes while he tugs on my nipple and increases the speed below. “I can’t m-m-move…Oh, God…” My back arches, my eyes close, my head is thrown back and my body shudders in pleasure as all the pent up anger, frustration and my need for him release.

  “You love that.” It’s a declaration not a question. Adam knows exactly what I need when I need it.

  I crane my neck to offer my lips. “I love you.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  I AWAKE EARLY THE next morning, even before the sun comes out to play, with a blanket of hot, hard sculpted muscle draping over my naked body and his large hand cupping my breast. I could wake up like this every day for the rest of my life.

  Adam’s breathing is quiet but labored as he nestles in the crook of my neck. Part of me feels guilty for not trusting him lately, but with a past track record like mine, who can blame me. There’s no question that Adam loves me, but I wish that he had trusted me enough to tell me what’s been going on with Chris and this investigation sooner. I’ll admit that hurt a little. After what Johanna did to him all those years ago, I guess I understand why he’s a bit distrustful.

  I pluck gently at his dark hair and run my fingers through the short strands, smoothing it down from its waywardness. I feel him stir in my arms.

  “Mmmmm.” He inhales my scent. “Mornin’ beautiful,” he mumbles hoarsely.

  “Hi, baby.” I kiss the top of his head as he pulls me closer.

  He’s breathing so quietly, I think he’s fallen back to sleep. He’s been working so much, I’m sure he’s exhausted. I wonder how he can functio
n on so little sleep. I continue to lie there with him draped across me.

  “Owww,” I wince. His fingers pinch my nipple hard, pulling it taut. I feel him smile against my neck. “What was that for?” I yank back on his hair to see his amused eyes.

  “That was for not trusting me.” Adam shifts his weight so he’s completely on top of me, trapping me beneath him. I can feel his morning erection coming to life as he swivels his narrow hips. “You owe me.” He smirks.

  “I have to pee. Get up,” I plead.

  “Nope. You’ll have to wait.”

  Oh, crap! I know what’s coming and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be all over me.

  Effortlessly he moves to straddle me, his knees meeting my ears while he sits on my chest. Thank God his weight is supported by his legs or else I think he’d kill me. His morning wood is delectable, encouraging me to lick my lips in anticipation. He guides the tip to my lips, sliding it back and forth like he’s applying lip gloss with his moisture. I must look needy because I am desperate for him to part my lips so I can taste him. With hooded eyes, he watches me carefully, teasing me with his beautiful manhood.

  “Open.”

  I obey his command. I open my mouth and lick him before closing my lips around him. I hear him hiss in pleasure, sliding further into my mouth. It always amazes me how much I love to do this to him. To know that I can give him what he wants and needs is enthralling and it gives me the confidence to take all of him in. One hand grips firmly at the base while the other hand reaches around to cup his ass. I am feeling confident and I want to show him how much I love him. The wall of distrust needs to be knocked down, freeing us from any barriers. He needs to know how much I trust him and that he can trust me in return.

  I slide my hand down over my belly into myself to gather moisture that’s pooled between my legs and cup his ass again. With a mouthful, I smirk, my eyes dancing with lust. I part him and slip my finger around his puckered hole. He twitches in my mouth, approving of what I’m doing to him. “Ffffuck! Do that again.”

  My mouth continues to pleasure him as my finger slips in further, circling around his tight, forbidden place. “Oh my fucking God. That feels so good.” I watch his face transform to one of pure lust and he takes over and strokes himself fast and hard. I follow his lead and plunge my finger in deeper until he releases his seed all over me before settling back into my mouth. That has got to be by far the hottest, sexiest thing I have ever seen or done with him.

  “Holy shit. That was incredible.” He rolls over and takes me with him, squeezing my ass hard. “So that’s how you want to play?” He kisses me hard, moaning as he tastes himself in my mouth.

  With a swift motion, he lifts himself and rolls onto his back, pulling me onto his chest.

  “You know what? I think I might be over the moon in love with you.” My sudden epiphany earns me a slap on the ass.

  “Good because I know I’m over the moon in love with you.”

  “We have a big day ahead of us.”

  “We do?” I kiss his scruffy jaw, nipping along his neck.

  “We do. We have to go cut down our tree.”

  “You, Mr. City Slicker, are going to cut down a Christmas tree?” I eye him skeptically.

  “Hey, are you doubting my skills? I’m actually pretty good with a saw. Did you forget that I know how to use a hammer, too?” We both laugh remembering the time he fixed my shower and Luke complained about the hammer making too much noise.

  The smell of bacon and eggs wafts throughout the kitchen as Adam walks around in black pajama bottoms and a white Yankees t-shirt making Belgian waffles for us. My offer to help was declined, he said it was the least he could do for all I’d done for him in the past few weeks. He was right. It felt as if Madison and Luke were our children, not just his. I felt awful earlier that week when I had to discipline Luke by making him sit in time out for pushing his sister down. When I called Adam, he told me to do what I thought was right. It’s easier said than done when you’re disciplining someone else’s kid.

  With the four of us sitting at the oversized kitchen island, we feasted on this gourmet breakfast of waffles with fresh whipped cream, strawberries, bacon and eggs.

  “This is delicious. How’d you learn to cook so well?” I ask as I spoon another dollop of whipped cream onto my waffle. “Are you holding out on me, Mr. Lawson?” I realize that I should be saving this whipped cream for later. We could have a lot of fun with this upstairs in his bedroom.

  “I have many talents.” His eyebrows waggle like the pervert he is. He continues, “Speaking of talents, I do believe that you showed me one of yours this morning.” He leans over and kisses the spot just below my earlobe.

  “Mmmmmmm.” My eyes close and let a moan escape. Sometimes it’s so easy to get lost in him.

  “Ewwww…gross,” Luke pipes in, his nose scrunching in disgust.

  My eyes pop open, my face turning all shades of red. Adam’s face dances with amusement.

  “You know, Luke, someday soon you’re going to like girls,” Adam teases, mussing his son’s hair. “And some girls like Mia, smell really good.” He moves to stand behind me, pushing my hair over my shoulder to inhale at the nape of my neck. I feel his warm breath move closer to my ear.

  “And taste even better,” he whispers, nipping at my earlobe.

  His simple words and delicate touches set my heart and my body racing. The tingling sends shivers down my spine, into my belly and in between my legs. He makes me desperate for him. How did I ever think I could resist him?

  Madison’s sweet giggle interrupts my erotic thoughts. “Daddy, are you going to marry Mia?”

  I feel Adam’s body tense immediately. It’s not something that we’ve ever really talked about. I mean, I know he loves me and we are together, but I don’t know if he is in it for the long haul as in marriage. When I told him about my pregnancy, he said he would have married me, but I think it was just because it would’ve been “the right thing” to do. I know I would marry him in a second.

  A chaste kiss is placed on my cheek before he answers his daughter’s question. “Do you want me to marry her?” He moves from behind me to turn Maddie around to face him, lowering himself to her eye level.

  “Yes!” She grins.

  “And why would that be, Maddie girl?” Adam looks into her brown eyes, asking playfully.

  “So I can have a mommy again!” Her face beams with giddiness while Luke looks on.

  I’m not sure what answer he was expecting, but the look on Adam’s face tells me this wasn’t it.

  I drop the fork and knife, startling myself at the sound of them hitting the dish. I love this little girl and her brother, but the thought of me being someone’s mom scares me. I couldn’t protect my own baby. “Sorry.” I smile weakly.

  Her little face is cradled in Adam’s big hands as he pulls her forward to kiss her forehead. “Sweetheart…” He’s at a loss for words. Disappointment fills me when I see the sympathetic look on his face.

  Tears threaten to spill as they silently pool in the corners of my eyes. I gather my dish and walk to the sink, rinse it and put it in the dishwasher. Light snow falls outside the window, reminding me that Christmas will be here soon. Adam and Madison’s conversation becomes muted as I watch the snow fall, getting lost in my own thoughts.

  “Mia, I think you’d be a good mom for us,” Luke whispers and smiles up at me as he stands next to me at the sink, offering his sticky plate. I look down at this beautiful little boy, so full of life and adventure, who captures my heart every single day. The words I want to speak are lodged in my throat, so I smile and nod then lean down to kiss the top of his head.

  “Alright you two, go brush your teeth, and get dressed. We’re going to get our tree!” Adam chases his children out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I quickly clean up the kitchen since he cooked. Just as I start the dishwasher, I feel his arms wrap around me, pulling me close. He knows that my mind is reeling from the earlier conversation, my b
ody is riddled with tension.

  “You okay?” He skims his nose along the nape of my neck.

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “Don’t lie to me,” he teases.

  “I’m not lying. I’m good. Now let’s go get your tree.” I turn around in his embrace and kiss him chastely. I really want to ask him what he said to Madison. Does he want to marry me? Why can’t I just believe that his words are completely sincere? I know he’s not Dylan or Shane, but my experiences with them have left me with doubts. I will never love anyone as much as I love him. I’d rather spend one day loving Adam than spend a lifetime looking for love with someone else.

  “It’s our tree, baby. You hear me?” His lips meet mine, his tongue sweeping across my bottom lip, begging for entry. “All of this is ours.”

  My mouth opens and I accept his words and all of him. I love this man so incredibly much. The fact that he knows my past and loves me in spite of it, mends my heart every day. What happened with Johanna, what happened with Dylan—those things are in the past and can never hurt us. What’s done is done. I will never want more than this. He is my everything.

  Chapter Forty

  BEFORE WE GO TO pick Brady up from the Longo’s, I help Adam bundle the kids up as we venture out on this cold, blustery day to find the perfect Christmas tree. I earn a slap on the backside when I mistakenly call it their tree not our tree. His words from earlier this morning still fresh on my mind, “All of this is ours.”

  Broken Arrow Tree Farm is breathtaking with acres and acres of tree lined paths each home to a different kind of tree. The light, fluffy morning snow has begun to fall heavier, coating each branch, weighing it down close to the ground. Green wreaths with red bows adorn the old barn door where the smell of hot cocoa drifts through the air as favorite Christmas carols are heard.

  Adam, looking sexy as ever with his two days’ worth of scruff, is dressed in a dark, North Face winter jacket and knit cap. He walks up ahead of us to get a saw and a tree cart while the kids and I scold Brady when he lifts his hind leg to mark his territory on the trunk of a small Charlie Brown tree, leaving the snow around it bright yellow. He’s such an Alpha dog, staking his claim. Typical male.