Maggie Lee (Book 17): The Hitwoman Takes A Road Trip

by JB Lynn

R.V. nodded.

  “Where can I find him?”

  R.V. shook her head. “She doesn’t know.”

  “Well, tell me what this plan is that Armani went on about during the séance.”

  “It’s bigger than you,” R.V. said slowly.

  “So I’ve been told.”

  “I can’t,” R.V. protested weakly.

  “Can’t what?” I asked worriedly as she swayed from side-to-side.

  “Keep doing this,” she said through gritted teeth. “Being a conduit. My head hurts too much.”

  Even though I wanted more information from Teresa, I said, “So stop.”

  “Lives hang in the balance,” R.V. intoned before closing her eyes and falling to her knees.

  I closed the distance between us so that I could help her get to her feet. Her usually beautiful hazel eyes seemed cloudy and dulled by pain.

  “Did you get what you need?” Armani asked, climbing out of the pink monstrosity.

  I shook my head. “I didn’t even get what I want.”

  Chapter Nine

  Leaving Armani and R.V. outside the pink eyesore, I despondently went to buy the humans some fast food burgers and a fish sandwich, hold the bread, for the cat.

  “Maybe your dad will know where Ian is,” God suggested, trying to cheer me up.

  “Do you think I gave Katie up?” I asked, still caught up in Teresa’s assertion.

  The lizard took his time and answered carefully. “I think you did what was best for her. I know it was a painful decision, but you put your own needs aside to take care of hers. That’s something to be admired.”

  “I didn’t give her up,” I reasoned, almost desperate. “We all agreed that we were trying out the arrangement on a temporary basis.”

  “You did what Teresa wanted,” God reminded me.

  I nodded, but the information didn’t make me feel any better.

  Of course I felt worse when I heard, “Miss Lee?”

  I turned slowly, recognizing her voice, but desperately not wanting it to be her.

  Unfortunately, despite my wishes, Ms. Whitehat stood a few yards away.

  “This can’t be good,” God muttered, diving from my shoulder into my shirt.

  I couldn’t have agreed more. The woman, her ivory power suit a sharp contrast to the RVs and tractor trailers surrounding us, was frowning.

  Instinctively, I stood a bit taller, feeling like I needed to protect myself from the woman who worked for a secret organization and occasionally blackmailed me into working for them too.

  I’d hoped that after the fiasco of rescuing Darlene and her family and providing the information needed to take down a crime syndicate, that my connection to Whitehat and her group was severed. Considering that she’d tracked me down to the Cheesequake Rest Area on the Garden State Parkway, I had to face the realization that I’d been nursing a pipedream.

  “Leaving town?” Ms. Whitehat asked in a deceptively mild tone as she crossed the distance between us, her high heels beating sharply against the pavement.

  “Just taking a road trip with a friend,” I replied as matter-of-factly as I could, reminding myself that while I didn’t like the woman or the jobs she gave me, she’d always managed to send in the ninja cavalry when my butt needed saving.

  “I need you to do something while you’re in Maryland.”

  “How do you know I’m going—?” I began.

  The look she gave me silenced the rest of the question.

  She knew everything.

  It was more than a little unsettling, but also the reason her blackmail was so effective. She knew the terrible things I’d done. I really couldn’t refuse her request.

  Lifting my chin, I asked, “What is it you need me to do?”

  Her frown softened. “No protest this time, Miss Lee?”

  “What would be the point?”

  She nodded appreciatively, like what I’d said was very wise, instead of an admission of defeat. “I need you to help Zeke with a very important mission.”

  It was my turn to frown. “Zeke and I aren’t exactly getting along.”

  The last time I’d seen my childhood friend, I’d accused him of selling me out, of choosing Darlene over me, of betraying me. I’d been in tears and he’d refused to tell me whatever “plan” it was he was using to justify his actions.

  “He needs you,” Ms. Whitehat said simply.

  “I don’t even know where he is.”

  “He’ll be at the National Aquarium, tomorrow at noon.”

  “Will he be—?” I started to ask.

  “Silence!” God boomed from my chest. “Think, Maggie. Do you really want her to know that you’re meeting your father there?”

  The lizard had a point.

  Ms. Whitehat’s eyes widened as she stared at my chest. She couldn’t hear God’s words, only a squeaking noise. Her usually icy composure cracked. “Are you wearing a wire?”

  “No.”

  She glared at me. “Then what was that noise?”

  “My lizard. See?” I yanked up my shirt, flashing her, so that she could see that a reptile was cradled in my bra. I spun around so that she could see all of my nearly naked torso.

  A passing trucker let out an appreciative wolf whistle.

  Dropping my shirt, I flipped him the bird.

  An amused half-smile tugged at the corners of Whitehat’s lips. “You never fail to amaze me, Miss Lee.”

  “A lot of people feel that way.”

  “What were you asking about Zeke before your little friend interrupted?”

  “I wanted to know if he’ll be easy to find,” I lied smoothly. “I imagine the aquarium is a big place.”

  “I’m sure you’ll manage to find him.”

  “And what am I supposed to help him with?”

  “I’ll let him tell you.”

  Before I could ask her anything else, I was distracted by someone singing, “Tall and tan and young and lovely.” Looking over, I saw Armani limping toward us.

  Turning back to Ms. Whitehat, I found the spot she’d occupied to be empty.

  “Weird,” I muttered. “I didn’t even hear her walk away.”

  “Who are you talking to?” Armani asked.

  “God,” I lied. “Are you trying to infect me with that earworm of a song?”

  “Wiggly worms are highly overrated,” a gruff, male voice announced. “Now roadkill, that’s a, whaddayacallit? A delicacy.”

  Looking up, I spotted the crow, perched on a nearby truck. “Mike! What are you doing here?”

  “I couldn’t let you run off without me. After all, last time it was my heroics that saved the day.”

  “Our heroics,” God corrected, pulling himself up my bra strap.

  Looking at the black bird, Armani asked, “His name is Mike?”

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “Hi, Mike!” She waved at him with her good hand. “I’m Armani.”

  He made a slight bow in her direction. “Nice to meet ya.”

  Armani chuckled with delight and looked at me. “Did you get the food yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Hang around, Mike,” she told the bird. “I’ll share my hamburger bun with you.”

  “I’ll go get it now,” I pledged. “Be back in a jiffy.”

  As I hurried toward the building to buy the food, God asked, “What do you think Whitehat wants you to do with Zeke?”

  “You know as much as I do.”

  “What are you going to do about Zeke? Last time you two were together you fought.”

  “I know that.”

  “So what are you going to do about that?”

  “I don’t know.” My stomach churned nervously.

  I didn’t know a lot of things. I didn’t know if my father would help me find Ian. I didn’t know what the plan was that everyone kept talking about.

  And I really didn’t know whether this road trip had been a good idea or a major mistake.

  Chapter Ten

  “H
ow did you get this thing to the B&B?” I asked Armani as we were lying in the darkened RV, on our respective beds. I’d driven for another couple of hours and we’d decided to spend the night in the parking lot of a super center store, but I wasn’t tired.

  “One of the guys who worked for the dealer drove me over in it.”

  “Did you tell him we were going to Maryland?” I asked, still wondering how the hell Whitehat had known our destination.

  “Maybe. I don’t remember. We were talking about a lot of stuff.”

  “Less talking, more sleeping,” Piss urged.

  “Easy for you to say. You’re taking up half my pillow.”

  “Do you talk to them a lot?” Armani asked. “The animals?”

  “Incessantly,” God complained, his voice echoing like he was in a canyon. I’d placed his plastic box (after lining it with one of my t-shirts to protect his sensitive skin) in the motor home’s sink so that no one knocked him in the dark.

  “I guess so,” I answered Armani.

  “Weird.”

  “You talk to spirits,” I reminded her.

  “Not all the time.”

  We both fell silent for a long moment, each lost in our own thoughts.

  “I have to be at the aquarium by noon tomorrow,” I told her.

  “How do you know that?” she asked, surprised. “Did R.V. tell you?”

  Realizing I was supposed to meet both my father and Zeke at noon, I groaned.

  “What’s wrong?” Armani asked.

  “Piss poked me with her claws,” I lied.

  It wasn’t like I could tell her that I was going to have to choose between meeting with my father who had information I needed, and joining up with Zeke who needed me.

  “Why do you call the poor thing that?” Armani asked. “Piss is a terrible name.”

  “It’s what they called her at the vet’s office I adopted her from,” I explained defensively. “She won’t tell me her real name. There was a time when I thought she would, but she didn’t.” I squinted in the dark in the direction of the cat, trying to determine if she’d change her mind.

  “You keep on guessing, Sugar,” the cat meowed, kneading my skull.

  “She’s probably got a really terrible name,” God piped up from his cavern. “Like Jenny or something.”

  “Jenny?” I repeated.

  “I’d rather be called Piss,” Armani stated.

  “You’d rather be called Piss than Armani?” I asked incredulously.

  “Of course not. If I was the cat I’d rather be called Piss if my real name was Jenny. Jenny is a terrible name. Really terrible.”

  “See?” God shouted victoriously. “I told you it’s an awful name.”

  “Please,” I begged the cat. “Just tell me that’s not your real name so I can end this idiotic conversation.”

  “It’s not,” she yawned.

  “Jenny is not her real name,” I stated definitively.

  “Well, that’s lucky,” Armani said with a satisfied sigh.

  “It is,” I agreed. I waited a moment before adding, “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Would you pull some letters for me tomorrow morning?”

  “Really?”

  I could understand the shock in her voice. After all, I wasn’t in the habit of asking her to provide psychic readings for me. “Yeah, really.”

  “I could do it now,” she offered.

  “If you wouldn’t mind.”

  She turned on a light, climbed out of her bed, and went rummaging in one of the overhead cabinets.

  “You’re looking for guidance?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I admitted, not knowing how I was supposed to choose between meeting with my father and helping Zeke.

  “Anything I can help with?” She shook a purple cloth bag in front of my face, the wooden Scrabble tiles inside knocking against each other.

  “I have a feeling I’m going to have to make a difficult choice tomorrow.” I pulled out seven tiles.

  “About your dad?” Taking the tiles from me, she laid them out in alphabetical order on the bed beside me.

  F G H I O S and a blank.

  We both studied them for a moment trying to figure out what they spelled.

  “Go fish,” we said simultaneously.

  Armani swept up the tiles and put them back in the bag. “Makes sense when you consider you’re going to an aquarium.”

  “But what does it mean?”

  She shrugged. “Depends on the situation, I guess. Why don’t you tell me about this choice of yours?”

  I shook my head.

  Plopping down on her bed, she raised the bag of wooden chunks overhead like she was getting ready to throw it at me. “Are you allergic to letting people help you? Is that it?”

  Piss hissed and jumped under the bed. I raised my arms defensively, ready to fend off an attack.

  She tossed the bag on her mattress and glared at me.

  “She has a point,” God intoned from the sink. “She could take care of one meeting while you do the other.”

  “See?” Armani cried. “Even the little guy agrees with me.”

  “He doesn’t like being called that,” I reminded her.

  “He doesn’t like being called a pompous ass either,” Piss meowed from beneath the bed. “Doesn’t mean the description doesn’t fit.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle.

  Armani, who wasn’t in on the joke, glowered.

  “It’s not that easy,” I said, trying to appease her.

  “You won’t know until you try.”

  Sighing heavily, I began slowly. “I need to ask my dad about Ian, the fifth, who I think is my brother.”

  She nodded, hanging on my every word.

  “You yourself said I need him,” I reminded her.

  “Teresa did. I’m just the conduit,” she countered, since she’d revealed the fifth’s importance during a séance.

  “Whatever. The point is, I need the information, but there’s a good chance that I have to do something else at the exact time I’m supposed to be meeting with him.”

  Armani nodded. “I could ask him for you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You don’t know my dad.”

  “I’ve met him.”

  “Yeah, but you don’t know how stubborn he can be about keeping secrets. We’ve already argued about this one. I asked him about it and he refused to tell me.”

  “More reason for you to send in a fresh face. Besides, I can be very persuasive. I got you to come along on this trip, didn’t I?”

  I laughed. “You wore me down.”

  “Just imagine what I’ll do to him,” she pledged. “You go do this other thing and I’ll deal with Archie Lee.”

  “Let me sleep on it,” I bargained.

  “Okay.” She switched off the light. “But don’t forget that I’ve proven again and again that I’m right about just about everything.”

  “Humble too,” I joked.

  “Fortune favors the bold,” she countered.

  I wondered if that was true, since fortune never seemed to favor me.

  Chapter Eleven

  There’s something about being in an aquarium that makes me need to pee every twenty minutes. Maybe it’s being surrounded by so much water. Maybe it’s because I dislike fish. Whatever it is, I had to use the ladies’ room before I went searching for Zeke.

  God did not approve.

  “Potty break,” I warned.

  “Filthy habit,” he groused from his hiding spot in my bra as I approached the restroom door.

  “Nature calls,” I countered.

  Of course, the woman on her way out the door thought I was talking to her and immediately skirted away from me.

  “The smell! The stink! The stench!” God moaned as I entered.

  This got me a strange look from the woman standing by the sink, washing her hands. Apparently, she didn’t run into too many women with squeaking chests.

  “My poo
r nose,” he wailed.

  The hand-washing woman scurried out without drying her hands.

  “My olfactory sense is under attack,” God continued.

  “Oh shut up,” I grumbled. “It’s not that bad.”

  “My head is going to explode!” he keened.

  “It’s not that bad,” I repeated.

  But in truth, it was.

  It smelled like someone had taken a bath in my grandmother’s favorite perfume. The cloyingly sweet smell made it hard to breathe as it seeped into my pores.

  For once, the lizard wasn’t exaggerating. It really did reek.

  But I really had to pee.

  “Suck it up, buttercup,” I growled, holding my nose with one hand, while pushing open the nearest stall with my hip.

  I barely made it out of there without my head exploding.

  I was alone in a sea of strangers when I emerged from the restroom, rubbing my hands against the thighs of my jeans to dry them since I’d made a rapid, desperate escape.

  I had to take a minute to lean against a wall, gasping for fresh air like a beached fish.

  “That really was disgusting,” I said, once the desire to puke had passed.

  “So far this is not a good road trip,” God complained.

  “You’re the one that insisted on coming along,” I reminded him.

  That shut him up for a bit.

  Armani had rented one of those motorized scooters and zipped off to reach my dad’s rendezvous location before he got there.

  I worried that in the crowd I’d never find Zeke, but he found me.

  “Still mad at me?” he whispered in my ear.

  I jumped, startled by his unseen approach from behind.

  Turning to face him, I found his usually handsome face to be drawn and tired. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

  He shrugged. “That’s not an answer.”

  I knew he wanted me to forgive him for taking Darlene’s side in her return to the family fold, but I wasn’t sure I was able to do that. It still felt like a betrayal that he’d had secrets with her and had done her bidding when he and I were supposed to be friends.

  He stared into my eyes, trying to get a read on what I was feeling. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I never meant to hurt you.”

  It was my turn to shrug. “I was told you need my help.”

  He winced. “Is that why you’re here? Did Whitehat blackmail you into helping me?” His tone was light, but there was no mistaking the stress stretched out beneath it.