Chipwrecked

by Perdita Finn

  Zoe scrunched up her face, thinking. “Hmm. Let’s see. I remember I got here on a Monday, so…” She was counting on her fingers. “Eight? Nine years?”

  “Nine years?” gasped Simon. “You’ve been here nine years?”

  “Or eight,” answered Zoe. “But it was definitely on a Monday.”

  Brittany looked around at the overgrown jungle and remembered sleeping in the sand the night before. She couldn’t do that again. “Guys,” she said anxiously. “What if we’re here nine years? What if we’re here forever?”

  But Alvin refused to give up hope. “I told you. Dave’s coming.”

  Zoe’s face brightened for a moment at the mention of Dave. “I used to think Dave was coming,” she said.

  The chipmunks’ eyes widened.

  “Dave Henderson,” explained Zoe. “My supervisor at UPS. I used to fly cargo planes for them until the day I crash-landed in the ocean. And that day was … a Tuesday. Forget anything I said about Monday.”

  “But our Dave won’t rest until he finds us. I’m sure of it. Right, Alvin?” said Theodore.

  Alvin didn’t look so sure, but he pretended to be confident to reassure Theodore. “Absolutely.”

  Simon shook his head. He wasn’t buying it. He knew they were in trouble. A lot of trouble.

  But the person who really believed Alvin was Zoe. “Oh, man! I’m finally getting out of here? Wait till I tell the others!” she exclaimed with joy.

  “There are others?” asked Jeanette, looking around. She didn’t see anyone else in the underbrush.

  “Can you imagine being stuck here all these years without anyone to talk to?” laughed Zoe, a little hysterically. “I’d lose my mind!” She looked like she already had.

  A moment later Zoe led the chipmunks to an opening in the jungle, and there, arranged in a line, were five balls: a basketball, a golf ball, a baseball, a tennis ball, and a football. Each ball had a face and a name Zoe had given it.

  The chipmunks didn’t know what to say. They were kind of beginning to wish Zoe had been a jungle monster. That might have been less weird.

  Zoe didn’t notice, however, how uncomfortable they were. She was going on and on about her friends. “They survived the crash with me,” she explained.

  Still uncertain what to do, each of the chipmunks went up to the balls and introduced themselves, pretending to make polite chatter. Zoe was telling the balls that Dave was coming to rescue them. She looked more wild-eyed than ever.

  “Not Dave Henderson,” she said, speaking to the tennis ball, “a different Dave. Can you believe it? We’re finally getting off this island! This totally calls for a party. You guys hungry?”

  The chipmunks weren’t sure if she was still talking to the balls.

  “I’m talking to you,” Zoe said to the chipmunks.

  Their faces instantly lit up with excitement. They were very hungry!

  “Yeah!” said Theodore at once.

  “You bet,” said Jeanette.

  “Yes!” said all the others.

  “All right, let’s go back to my place,” said Zoe cheerfully.

  “Is it far?” sighed Brittany. “Because I don’t think I could walk another step.”

  “Who said anything about walking?” Zoe pulled back some branches and revealed a long zip line stretching far into the jungle.

  Wow! thought Alvin. That looks like fun!

  A moment later Zoe had taken off, with Alvin zooming right behind her high over the jungle valley. All the others followed, each one a little more terrified, with Theodore and Jeanette each clinging to the zip line for dear life.

  The zip line went over the tops of the palm trees and finally ended outside a ramshackle hut deep in the jungle, surrounded by fruit trees. As each of the chipmunks came in for a landing, Zoe retrieved her ball friends from a basket she’d attached to the zip line.

  “Wasn’t that awesome?” said Zoe when most of the chipmunks had arrived.

  Simon looked like he was about to be sick. “No, that wasn’t awesome. It’s a miracle we got here safely. In fact, the odds of a chipmunk getting hurt on a zip line are one out of six.”

  Eleanor crash-landed, tumbling to the ground.

  Simon sighed. “Why do I always have to be right?”

  All the chipmunks crowded around Eleanor, who was holding her ankle. “I think I sprained it,” she moaned.

  “Awww, sweetie, we should get some ice on that right away,” said Zoe helpfully. Only she didn’t move. “Oh!” she said as the chipmunks stared at her. “I don’t have any. I thought you might.”

  “No, we don’t have any ice,” fumed Simon impatiently. “Just like we don’t have any shelter. Or any food.”

  “Bummer,” said Zoe, disappointed. “Hey, you guys like bungee jumping?”

  “Yes!” exclaimed Alvin instantly.

  “No!” said Simon at the exact same moment. “Maybe you should just leave us alone so we can focus more on surviving and less on killing ourselves.”

  Zoe stepped back. “Man, that’s a lot of uptight in such a little package!”

  “I’m not uptight,” yelled Simon, even angrier. “I just don’t want to see anyone else getting hurt. Ow!” He grabbed his arm in pain, like he’d been stabbed by an invisible sword.

  “What was that?”

  Zoe looked around and saw a large, hairy spider scurrying away into the brush. She pointed at it. “Just a spider. They’re all over the place.”

  A look of horror spread across Simon’s face. He knew what kind of spider that was. He’d read about them. “That’s a Phoneutria bahiensis! Its bite contains a neurotoxin!”

  “So?” said Alvin.

  “Alvin, toxin means ‘poison.’ And neuro means ‘brain,’ ” explained Simon carefully, still clutching the bite on his arm, which was hurting more and more. He could feel the poison spreading through his body. To his brain.

  “Oh. That’s not good,” said Alvin, genuinely concerned.

  Simon began reciting the symptoms of the spider’s bite like he was reading from a book. “Side effects include changes in personality, loss of inhibition, dry mouth—”

  “Nah, I don’t buy it,” interrupted Zoe, who didn’t look worried at all. “I get chomped on by one of those hairy fellas at least once a day, and I’ve never been affected. Right, Dunlop?”

  She held up the tennis ball, which she made nod back to her in agreement.

  The chipmunks exchanged worried glances.

  They were on a deserted island. They were hungry. Eleanor had a sprained ankle. Simon had just been bitten by a poisonous spider. And the only person who might possibly help them was carrying on a conversation with a tennis ball!

  Chapter 16

  Dave and Ian were hiking up the rocky part of the mountain at the center of the island. It was tough going. And hot.

  Ian was calling for the chipmunks. “Alvin? Simon?… Chubby one? Girl chubby one? Brittany? Jeanette?”

  Dave stopped to wipe the sweat off his forehead and look around. “Ian, I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but I’m glad you can put all that aside to help me find them. I just hope they’re okay.”

  “Who cares if they’re okay? I just need them to be here. Let me break this down for you, Dave. Record execs? They’re a bunch of bloodsucking leeches—I should know, I used to be one. They’ll spare no expense to find The Chipmunks. But if it’s just you and me on this island? We’re dead men.”

  Dave shook his head. “And here I am, thinking you’ve changed and don’t only care about yourself.”

  Ian laughed bitterly. “Oh no, I assure you, Dave. Underneath this slowly disintegrating costume is the same ol’ Ian Hawke. And it’s a good thing, too. ’Cause at this point, my rage toward you and The Chipmunks is the only thing keeping me going.” He paused and seemed more upbeat. “Shall we keep going?”

  “Absolutely!” agreed Dave. “Why don’t you keep an eye out for something to eat or drink, all right?”

  “All right,
” agreed Ian, and then he paused, his eyes falling on the pasta necklace still hanging around Dave’s neck. “Wait, right there!”

  Dave looked around with no idea what Ian was talking about. “Where?”

  “Around your neck,” said Ian. He reached out for the pipe-cleaner-and-macaroni necklace. A little old pasta looked pretty good right now.

  But Dave jumped back before Ian could grab it. “You can’t eat this!” said Dave, alarmed. “It was a gift from Theodore.”

  “Oh, that makes sense,” said Ian without cracking a smile. “’Cause it’s really ugly.”

  “It’s not ugly. It goes with everything, and it’s soft enough to sleep in,” insisted Dave. He reached up protectively to hold on to the necklace.

  “And edible!” Ian lunged toward the necklace again, his mouth open.

  “You will not eat my son’s necklace!” screamed Dave.

  Ian stopped. He took a step back. He peered at Dave. “He’s not your son, Dave. He’s just a chipmunk.”

  Dave was outraged. Theodore was not “just a chipmunk” to him.

  “And by the way”—Ian laughed menacingly—“finding him and finding something to eat are not mutually exclusive.”

  And with those threatening words, he took off up the mountain.

  Chapter 17

  Another day had passed. As the stars came out over the vast sea and the tiny island, six little chipmunks curled up in the sand for another night lost and alone. The flames of a campfire flickered. Eleanor, her ankle splinted with sticks and seaweed, slept peacefully. But Alvin couldn’t drift off. He was getting worried. Simon was tossing and turning like he was having a nightmare. Quietly, Alvin climbed up a tree and looked out to sea. “Where are you, Dave?” he whispered.

  How could he know that not far from where he was, Dave, too, was worried? Dave sat on the edge of a cliff, wondering where his chipmunks might be. Were they even on the island? Were they even still alive?

  And hidden away in her grass hut, Zoe couldn’t sleep. She’d tucked her various balls into bed and she was trying to reassure them. And herself. “C’mon, guys,” she muttered. “Quit being paranoid. They’re not here to steal our…” Zoe glanced around nervously, making sure no one was listening, and then continued speaking in an even softer voice. “They’re not here to steal our stuff. They don’t even know it exists. And it’s going to stay that way, as long as we all keep our mouths shut. You think you can do that?”

  She looked sternly at the basketball and the golf ball and the baseball and the tennis ball and the football.

  Not one of them said a word.

  Chapter 18

  Simon was the first one to wake up. His eyes popped open at dawn, and the first thing he did was rip the seaweed bandage off his arm. He tied the fronds of seaweed around his head like a bandanna and started to swagger off into the jungle.

  Rubbing the sand out of his eyes, Theodore watched him leaving. “Simon? Where are you going?”

  The early wind blew the seaweed bandanna around Simon’s head. He looked like a pirate. And when he started speaking he had, strangely, a French accent. “Who is this Simon you speak of?”

  “Um … you,” said Theodore, confused.

  “No. My name is not Simon. It is”—he paused for effect—“Simone.”

  Theodore blinked, even more confused. “That’s pretty close to Simon.”

  “And yet completely different,” said Simon (or Simone), twirling his whiskers. “Would you care to join me on my adventure?”

  “What adventure?” asked Theodore timidly.

  “The adventure called life!” exclaimed Simon with great joy.

  Simon wasn’t acting like himself. Still, Theodore knew he could trust him to make good decisions. Simon never got into trouble. “Okay,” he agreed, and he scampered off into the jungle after Simon.

  When Brittany awoke, they were nowhere in sight. She immediately started shaking Alvin. “Alvin, Alvin!”

  “What, what is it?” Alvin was still sleepy.

  “Simon and Theodore are gone,” she said.

  “They probably just went to get stuff for a shelter,” said Alvin, his eyes shutting again. “It’s all Simon can talk about.”

  Brittany shook her head. She was worried. “Still, it’s not like either of them to wander off like that. Could you please go look for them?”

  “Why can’t you?” Alvin yawned and stretched.

  “I have a situation of my own to deal with, Alvin!” yelled Brittany.

  “Oh, right,” Alvin apologized. “How’s Eleanor doing?”

  Brittany clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth in disgust. “Eleanor’s fine, but I’m talking about me. It’s been two days since my last bath; I’m a mess! I can’t get rescued looking like this!”

  Alvin rolled his eyes, but he got up anyway and headed into the jungle to look for Simon and Theodore. “Simon? Theo?” he called.

  And then he saw Simon. Right in front of him. Hanging upside down.

  “Bonjour, my friend,” said Simon, greeting Alvin in a mixture of French and English. He bounced out of sight and reappeared a moment later, still upside down.

  “Simon? Are you … bungee jumping?” Alvin couldn’t believe it.

  “His name isn’t Simon,” said Theodore, coming up beside Alvin.

  “It’s Simone!” exclaimed Simon, bouncing into view again.

  “Uh, that’s pretty close to Simon,” noted Alvin.

  “I thought so, too!” agreed Theodore. “But he’s acting totally different.”

  Then it hit Alvin what was going on. It was like Simon had undergone a complete change of personality. He didn’t seem to have any more inhibitions. “It’s the spider bite!” said Alvin. “Remember the side effects?”

  “I remember none of this. Who are you?” Simon disappeared again.

  Oh boy. This was worse than Alvin could ever have imagined. “Alvin,” he said.

  “Simone is pretty cool,” said Theodore.

  “It’s Simon,” corrected Alvin. “And no, he’s not.”

  “Would you excuse us, Alvin?” Simon had bounced back again, grabbed Theodore, and sprung up into the air with him onto a high branch. Zoe was already up there. “Monsieur Theodore, it is your turn!” Simon began unfastening himself from the bungee cord.

  “I’ve never done anything like this,” Theodore squealed as Simon tied him onto the cord.

  Alvin chased after him. “And you never will!

  “How can you let them do this? What are you thinking?” Alvin yelled at Zoe. After all, she might be weird, but Zoe was still a grown-up.

  “I’m thinking, when did my dad wash up on this island?” answered Zoe, irritated. “We’re having a good time here, and you gotta show up and be all uptight.”

  “Me? Uptight?” Alvin was stunned. “I’m not the uptight one. I’m the fun one! The cool one. Ask anybody!”

  Theodore had wrapped the bungee cord around his tummy. He was getting ready to jump.

  “Theodore!” shouted Alvin, stomping his foot. “You can’t bungee jump. You get scared just watching a movie.”

  “Munk up, Alvin!” said Theodore. He leaped off the branch, screaming with joy all the way down.

  Alvin couldn’t believe it. What was going on? Wasn’t anyone in charge anymore?

  Chapter 19

  Back at the camp, Jeanette had made her sisters beautiful dresses out of flowers.

  Brittany was very pleased with hers. “Much better. Jeanette, these dresses are totally adorbs. I die.”

  Jeanette blushed, pleased. “Thank you. Oh, that reminds me! I also made these for you, Eleanor.” She handed Eleanor a pair of bamboo crutches.

  Eleanor wobbled around, getting the hang of them. “I had no idea you were so handy. I always thought that was me.”

  Jeanette was bursting with pride and now revealed an impressive bamboo wheelchair. “And in case you get tired, I also made you this!”

  Eleanor couldn’t believe it. Now she fe
lt really useless. “Oh, super,” she said, trying to smile.

  Meanwhile, Brittany wanted a bath. She found a small, rocky pool. When she dipped her paw into it, she was surprised that the water was perfectly hot, like it had come out of the tap. Steam rose from its surface. What she would have seen, if she’d been in an airplane, was that steam and smoke were also coming out of the large mountain looming over the island. But Brittany never imagined that her hot spring came from a volcano. She settled into her bath. “Ahh!”

  Later on, Alvin returned to camp looking glum. “Hey,” he said to the girls before plopping down in the sand.

  Brittany was out of the bath now and brushing her hair with a comb made out of a shell. “Did you find Theodore and Simon?”

  Alvin shook his head. “No, but I found Theodore and Simone.”

  “Who’s Simone?” asked Jeanette, coming over.

  At that moment, Simon swung into camp on a vine like he was Tarzan or Robin Hood or a movie pirate. The girls were really surprised. He bowed over Brittany’s paw, took it in his, and kissed it. “Enchanté,” he whispered in a deep voice.

  Brittany giggled. “What’s gotten into him?”

  “Spider venom,” said Alvin, unimpressed. “He thinks he’s some sort of fun-loving French dude.”

  When Simon met Jeanette’s eyes, he was speechless. He had never seen anything so beautiful before. He kissed her hand, and she blushed. “Oh!”

  Distant thunder rumbled. Alvin looked up and noticed heavy rain clouds. “Hey Simon,” he said.

  Simon didn’t even turn his head.

  “Simone?” said Alvin, and that got Simon’s attention. “I think we should get to work on a shelter.”

  “Pourquoi?” said Simone in French. And then in English he added, “Why? I can’t imagine a better roof over our heads than the sky.”

  “I don’t know, what about the kind of roof over our heads that’s actually a roof? It’s going to rain,” said Alvin, irritated.

  “What’s a little rain? We cherish the water, for it is the water that nurtures the flower.” Simon plucked a flower from a nearby bush, inhaled its scent, and then tucked it behind Jeanette’s ear. She blushed.