Putting the SeX in Xmas

by Summer Jordan

  Every time they’d talked, Andrew had said he missed her, and she loved hearing it. She’d missed him, too, but the joy of executing his surprise kept her busy and in good spirits. She’d bought him a few small gifts—a sweater the colour of his eyes, a wool scarf and a Father Christmas figurine—but the dinner and decorations would be his main present.

  She’d made a centrepiece with British crackers, holly and candles. Tomorrow, she’d put it out, set the table with her Spode and put crackers at each setting. She’d bought a green wreath and tied some to it. And she’d bought mistletoe with red berries to grace every doorway. They could kiss their way to bed. With all that smooching, they’d be lucky to make it all the way without lying down for a quickie on the way. They were so damned hot for each other.

  In a moment of frivolity, she’d replaced the bulbs in all the lamps with red ones and draped silver tinsel from the chandeliers and hung stockings on the fireplace. Would he be surprised when he walked in!

  Kati wiped the perspiration from her face. She’d put everything in the Christmas Pudding, but it didn’t look like it was the right consistency. Had she left out something or put in too much of another item? By the time she’d mixed it all together, she couldn’t tell. Currants, sultanas, raisins, sugar, beef suet, breadcrumbs, ground almonds, blanched almonds, mixed candied peel, chopped apple, flour, lemon and lime zest, stout, eggs, ground mixed spice, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt, brandy. And a partridge in a pear tree. It was an absolutely dizzying mix.

  Now, she was supposed to add brandy. She took a little sip before adding the two tablespoonfuls. Mmm. Not bad. It tasted much better than the stout did. Although both were a teeny-weeny bit strong.

  ‘Pour the mixture into a greased, three-and-a-half pint pudding basin and cover with a double layer of greased, greaseproof paper or aluminium foil—pleated in the middle to allow for expansion.’

  Ohmigod. What is a pudding basin? She must have missed that detail before, concentrating only on the ingredients. Those for washing were the only ones she was familiar with.

  She greased a big piece of foil. What the hell. She took another slug of brandy which tasted even better than the first. Or maybe her tongue was a little bit numb. She tried another slug. Hmm.

  Picking the pan that appeared most like a basin, she poured in the mixture and covered it.

  ‘Tie string under the rim and across the top to make a handle.’

  String? Where on earth… Searching through the drawers, she discovered a treasure trove of items that she’d never expected to find in a kitchen. Andrew apparently liked to mend things. Taking out a ball of twine, she studied the pan. There wasn’t really a rim. She tapped a finger to her chin. Hmm. In that same drawer, she found a roll of duct tape and fastened the string on the sides and across the top.

  Feeling proud of herself, she read on. ‘Place a trivet in the base of a large saucepan.’

  There were no trivets in the house, or if there were, they weren’t in the kitchen. Feeling good about her newfound ability to ‘make do’, she substituted an upside down pie pan.

  ‘Lower the pudding into a saucepan with enough boiling water to come two-thirds of the way up the sides of the basin. Pour in more boiling water if necessary.’

  That meant she’d have to keep an eye on it.

  Whew. Now she didn’t have to do anything until the pudding was cooked. Then she was supposed to pour the remaining brandy over it and re-cover the pan. It didn’t say how long to boil it, so how would she know when it was done?

  It would take three to four hours of gentle boiling to reheat. Did it take that long the first time? Was there enough brandy left, or would she have to open another bottle? Kati took another slug. She was beginning to feel really calm, considering the ordeal she’d been through.

  To serve, she was supposed to add a sprig of holly. Okay. And flambé at the table with warmed brandy. Those damned raisins were really going to be stoned.

  ‘Can also be served with brandy butter.’

  Ohmigod. She might have to make a liquor run. Except she was feeling a little dizzy. Maybe it was from all the red lights reflecting off the silver tinsel. Maybe she needed to lay her head down and close her eyes. For just a moment.

  * * * *

  Andrew couldn’t wait to get home to Kati. He’d missed her so much. And it was Christmas Eve. He hadn’t been this excited since he was a kid waiting for the next morning. They’d opened gifts at his grandparents’ after dinner, and he’d hated the wait. Couldn’t Father Christmas come during the night so they could find their presents when they awoke on Christmas morning?

  He had a gift for Kati. He patted his coat pocket as the taxi drew up at his house. He hoped she’d love it. Running up the front walk, he tried to think what looked different. The lights inside appeared dim…and red? Kati hadn’t turned on the porch light. Wasn’t she eager to greet him? He turned his key in the lock and stepped inside.

  The lamps all glowed—red. Silver tinsel dangled from the chandeliers, and Christmas music poured through the house. He strode to the kitchen. A pot bubbled on the stove. And Kati, her head lying on the table, was sound asleep.

  What in the hell was she cooking, and why wasn’t she tending it?

  He shook her by the shoulders. “What’s going on?” A bottle of brandy less than half full sat close at hand. “Kati! What are you cooking?”

  She blinked, shook her head and laid it down again.

  “Kati,” he yelled. “Are you drunk? You could have started a fire, letting the stove go and sleeping. Wake up, woman.”

  She reared up. “Ohmigod. The Christmas pudding.”

  Andrew looked at the pot on the stove. “You’re making one?”

  “It’s a surprise,” she said, smiling crookedly.

  “It certainly is.” He helped her to her feet and held her close.

  “For you.”

  “The decorations are a surprise, too,” he assured her.

  “Do you like them?” Her head lolled.

  “Sweetheart, it looks like a bordello in here.”

  “Thanks a lot,” she said and fell sobbing onto his shoulder. “I don’t know how to tell when the pudding is done.”

  * * * *

  Kati awoke next morning in Andrew’s arms in their bed.

  “The pudding?” She sat upright.

  “It’s okay. Merry Christmas, darling. Relax. I took care of it.”

  “The recipe didn’t say how long to cook it. I wanted it to be good.”

  “I’m sure it is,” he said, smoothing her hair back from her face. “Kati, what have you been doing here? It looks as if you’ve been very busy.”

  “Last night, you said…”

  “You remember? I’m sorry. I was taken aback by the lights and tinsel, but it’s fine. The tree looks fabulous, and it’s going to be a wonderful day.”

  “Oh, no. The berries on the mistletoe are still there. All of them. I missed the good stuff.” Tears coursed down her cheeks. “Wait. I did miss it, didn’t I? I mean I didn’t sleep through…”

  “No. I am too honourable to screw you when you’re passed out. However, I did enjoy kissing your delectable lips, and they responded. I also caressed your limp body which didn’t.”

  “I am so-o embarrassed and disappointed.”

  “It’s all right, Kati. I was tired anyway, and I held you until I went to sleep. We’ll work off the berries later. Right now, we’re going to have a wonderful Christmas Day.”

  Andrew was right. He helped stuff the goose with fruit to keep it moist the way Kati’s recipe said. Roast potatoes were traditional, and he peeled and added them to the pan with the goose. They came out rather greasy, and neither of them had any idea how to make gravy, so she fixed the mashed spuds after all.

  The goose was wonderful. She’d carefully pricked the skin without letting her needle go through the fat layer into the flesh. It was just as beautiful as she’d pictured, the skin brown and crispy. And it was delicious.

  The
pudding was a bit dry when reheated, but with added brandy and eaten with brandy butter, it was yummy.

  But the cherry on top of the event was the crackers. He laughed until he held his sides. Kati couldn’t help but notice he had a hard-on, too. They had two dozen sex items but probably couldn’t use them all in one day.

  “You need to stay a long time so we can make use of these,” Andrew said, studying a Double-O-Ring.

  Kati’s pussy creamed. It was supposed to enhance orgasms for both of them. “No problem.”

  “Guess what?” Andrew said. “I have a cracker, too. For you. And I made it myself.”

  “Ohmigod,” she said when he handed it to her. “This must have taken hours. It’s beautiful.”

  “I hope you get the long half,” he said.

  They pulled.

  It snapped.

  A tissue-wrapped goodie fell out in Kati’s lap.

  Ohmigod, it is so tiny. Could it be…? She looked into Andrew’s wonderful, blue eyes.

  He gestured towards the package in her hand. “Open it.”

  She slowly folded back the tissue and there it was—a diamond solitaire. Her eyes filled with tears.

  He took her left hand in his and reached for the ring. “I love you, Kati Johnson. Will you marry me?”

  “Yes. Oh, yes.” He slipped the diamond engagement ring on her finger, and she almost knocked Andrew off his chair, throwing herself into his arms. “Yes. Yes. Yes. I love you, too, and I want to spend my life with you.

  “Bob and Tara are having dinner together before she goes in for the night shift,” she added when she could speak again. “Maybe we could ask them to be our wedding attendants.”

  “Later. Right now, why don’t we celebrate our engagement?” Andrew suggested, holding up the Double-O. Without waiting for an answer, he pulled her into a tight embrace. “You are such a vixen, Kati. Who else would have thought of such surprises?”

  She rubbed his cock on the way upstairs, and he squeezed her breast.

  “Do you want babies, sweetheart?” he asked.

  “I do, but not yet. You have a new supply of exciting condoms.”

  “We could name a girl Merry.”

  “And a boy Noel?” She threw her arms around Andrew’s neck. “Okay. You win. Let’s take a chance. I’ve wanted to be a bride and have children for as long as I can remember. But you wanted us to live together as a trial…”

  “No more need. You’re the love of my life. Anyone who would roast a goose, make that blasted pudding and fill my crackers with erotic items is the one for me.”

  “Andrew? I have to tell you something. I don’t know how to cook. I’m sorry, but Tara made that first dinner. I only know how to prepare breakfast.”

  “I kind of suspected you hadn’t had much practice in the kitchen when I watched you today. But you did it, honey. You succeeded, and you will again. We’ll learn together. And Kati, since it’s true confession time, I have one to make. I found a paper of yours in the freezer the night I stayed over. But I never read it. It’s folded up in my wallet.” He reached in his pants pocked and took it out. “I wasn’t looking for it at the time. I was getting out ice. And I’ll return it if that’s what you want, but I’d love to see it, first. I don’t know why I’ve been so curious.”

  Colour rose in her cheeks. She knew it by heart and had never tried to go back and look at it again. “It’s my letter to Santa, and he’s been very generous. Go ahead and look.”

  Andrew read it aloud.

  “Seduction initiated by Andrew.

  “An invitation to sleep over.

  “One for me to move in with him.

  “Four little words ~ I love you, Kati.

  “Andrew to love the British Christmas I create.

  “Five little words ~ Will you be mine, Kati?

  “A diamond on my left ring finger.

  “Marriage to Andrew Howell. (The last one can come later.)

  “You little imp. You planned everything.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t read this before? It’s almost exactly what happened.”

  “If you can go behind my back and pretend to cook…” He laughed. “You’ll never know, sweetheart.”

  “Andrew,” she wailed. “Tell me.”

  “It’s not important. It worked out just the way we both wanted.”

  Andrew laid Kati on the bed and began undressing her. She’d looked forward to this moment. She’d found a little shop that sold fabulous lingerie, with a holiday selection she’d chosen to delight him. He’d liked the red thong with mistletoe, and today she was wearing a gold satin one with a Christmas tree appliqué.

  He took off her skirt first and tossed it across the room, and seeing what she wore beneath it, he smiled. “You vixen,” he murmured.

  Her soft pullover was next, and he peeked beneath it first. “What beautifully wrapped packages,” he said when he saw her breasts in more gold satin with cut-out Christmas wreaths exposing her nipples.

  “With easy access.” Andrew laved her hard peaks through the holes, and she arched her back eagerly.

  “Mmm,” she said, palming his hard-on. Her pussy was warm and wet, and his cock strained at the front of his pants.

  “You think of everything, Kati Johnson. Now, so as not to spoil this finery…”

  He reached beneath her and set her breasts free. Sucking her nipples until she thought she’d come right then, he slid his hand inside the thong and fingered her clit.

  “I can’t take much more,” he murmured, removing the remaining items.

  Tearing off his clothes, he lay down beside her. Holding the Double O, he fondled her clitoris. “Here we go.” He worked the gel ring onto the base of his erect cock, turning the vibrating tickler up towards Kati. “Now, let’s see how this little gem works. Ready?” He pushed inside her.

  She felt it against her clit. “Ohmigod,” she gasped. “It’s definitely stimulating.”

  “Ah, yes,” he said. “For me, too.”

  He kissed her while they both soaked in the new sensations.

  “And the package says it’s supposed to slow down my orgasm. So, watch out. It’s going to be a long, hot screw, sweetheart.”

  “If we turn the tickler downward, it will stimulate your testicles and penis,” she whispered. “And I read a review that said with it positioned that way and me on top—‘reverse cowgirl’, the woman called it—the orgasms are frequent and fabulous.”

  “Then we should definitely try that next.” Andrew chucked Kati under the chin and grinned. “We could be here until New Year’s. I love you, Kati. You’ve given me my best Christmas ever. Thank you.”

  “It’s going to get even better in a moment,” she promised, her breath coming hard. The Double O was arriving too fast, even for impatient Kati. “Oh, oh. Oh,” she cried out as she climaxed.

  “Merry Christmas, Andrew,” she whispered as her body shuddered to a new high.

  “That was a triple oh,” he said. “And since I’m still soaring high, the good news is, there’s a lot more to come.”

  Much later and many more climaxes for Kati, Andrew shot his cum inside her, and Kati felt she was truly his. With imaginations like theirs, sex would always be an adventure. And with the love they held in their hearts, the future definitely looked bright.

  “Merry Christmas, my future wife.”

  About the Author

  Summer Jordan is passionate about writing, and her erotic romance books brim with passion. Summer, aptly named, loves sunshine and water, palm trees and fragrant tropical flowers. So, it's no wonder she and her sweetheart moved from the Midwest to Florida—and love it.

  Her favourite pursuits, other than reading and writing, are boating, shelling and shopping—with shoes, shorts and earrings her major weaknesses. Seafood, especially scallops and lobster, and big leafy salads are her favourite foods, but she loves finding new restaurants where she can try different dishes.

  Summer has a BA and MS and has worked in sales, finance
and education but now spends her days writing and otherwise enjoying life.

  Email: summerjordan@rock.com

  Summer Jordan loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.total-e-bound.com.

  Also by Summer Jordan

  Wives R Us: Let Me Entertain You

  Wives R Us: Breaking the Rules

  Wives R Us: Engaging Deception

  Lusty Ladies: Fantasy Man

  Lusty Ladies: Naked Truth

  Lusty Ladies: Lust or Love

  Long, Hard Texan

  Total-E-Bound Publishing

  www.total-e-bound.com

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  at Total-E-Bound.