36 Inches: A MFMM Romantic Comedy

by Alexis Angel

  “What’s going on?” I ask Sienna as the men swarm into every room of my apartment, opening drawers and pushing the furniture out of its place.

  “What’s going on,” she tells me, closing the distance between me and her and whispering these words into my ear, “is that you didn’t want to play nice. Now you’re paying the price.”

  Taking a step back, she turns toward the federal agent running point on the operation, the tall bald guy, and points with her chin toward me. “That’s the one,” she tells me, her grin from before now giving way to a thin line of contempt. “She was the one stealing copyrighted content from Naughty Angel Publishing. She’s the one you’re looking for.”

  I have to blink twice as I try to process her words. Me? Stealing copyrighted content from Naughty Angel? What the hell has Sienna been smoking? Her new haircut must have fried whatever brain cells she had left in that hollow skull of hers.

  “What? That’s bullshit!” I cry out, but I simply can’t shake off that deep-seated anxiety. How could I? There a dozen federal agents going through everything in my apartment! They’re even rummaging through my panties drawer, for God’s sake!

  I lock eyes with the leading officer, and his cold gaze seems to pierce my very soul. Whatever I try to tell her, I know he won’t listen. He’s probably hardened by the hundreds of people he put under cuffs, all of them yelling out the mythical ‘I didn’t do it.’

  “Cara, right?” He asks me, taking one step toward me, his hulking shadow making my mouth turn dry. He places one hand on his belt, and I notice the glint of cold metal, the handcuffs he has there jingling softly as he moves toward me.

  “Yes, but —” I try to say, taking one step back to create some distance between me and him.

  “She’s the one,” Sienna repeats, that evil grin back to her lips. “I fired her because I knew what she planning…” She continues, her tone almost too tragic to bear. Is this the way she’s going to try and spin things? I would find it hilarious, except there’s a six-foot tall giant right in front of me, his expression one as cold as ice. “I tried to give her one last chance to come clean but, ah...she’s just too greedy, I think. She stole all of the books in the Naughty Angel Publishing catalog, and now she has published them all on that pirate website.”

  “Why would I do something like that, Sienna? Are you out of your damn mind?” I ask her, but I know that this is an uphill struggle. Whatever web of lies she weaved, it must have been a good one; you don’t get a court’s stamp of approval without a solid case.

  “Cara, Cara,” she tsks, shaking her head as if she was disappointed by my question. “Just come clean already. Admit it: you were about to publish all of these books you stole under the Cara Unger name, on Pure Smut For You.”

  “What? I don’t even know what the hell Pure Smut For You is!” I cry out, taking one more step back. By now though, my back is against the wall and there’s nowhere I can escape to. “That’s a lie and you know it! You have no proof, you have no —”

  “Witnesses?” She smirks, finishing my own sentence. “That’s where you’re wrong,” she whispers, the tone of her voice dropping in such a way that the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. As she finishes speaking, she takes one step to the side and a man steps inside my apartment. There’s a smirk on his face, one borne out of contempt, and his right hand is wrapped in bandages.

  “Hello, Cara,” Trevor grins, placing his left hand in one of Sienna’s shoulders. “Long time, no see.”

  No, this can’t be happening. It’s too unreal.

  To cheat on me, to have me fired…that’s already bad enough. But plotting with Sienna to throw me into jail? No, that’s not something I ever expected out of Trevor. Not because he has a good character (but you already know that by now), but because he’s a spineless coward. To make such a bold play…

  “I’m sorry, Cara. You should've listened to me,” Sienna tells me, and that’s when the officer in front of me takes the handcuffs from his belt and dangles it in front of my face.

  “Your hands,” he growls, and I have no other choice but to obey. As I feel the tight cold metal closing around my wrists; I close my eyes and pray.

  Please, God, this is a nightmare, isn’t it?

  God must be asleep at this hour of the day, as no one answers. This might be a nightmare, but it’s a very real one.

  Chapter 22

  Mason

  Three.

  That’s how many weeks ago Cara was arrested. She was interrogated, put in a holding cell until arraignment, bailed out, called in for more questioning, and now has been forbidden from engaging in any authorship or publishing activity until her court date. It’s killing her. I can tell. And there’s not a damn thing that Parker or Derek and I can do to make it better in the moment.

  Four.

  That’s how many authors have reached out to Cara and offered her support. Although a part of me is happy to have Cara out of jail, I can’t help but cringe because the general indie publishing community has no idea what to make of her now. Are the allegations true? Did Cara really rip off Naughty Angel Publishing and begin selling those titles under her own name? It’s so brazen and so outrageous. But the community has been shocked before. And they’re in a state of denial.

  Fourteen thousand.

  That’s how many emails have poured in from readers. While authors are largely staying silent, it’s pretty obvious that Cara was loved amongst the readers that she worked with when she was managing the ARC teams for Sienna. They’ve almost all been unanimously letters of support and encouragement. Telling her to hang in there. Telling her that things would get better. Telling her that she has nothing to worry about and that they didn’t believe for a moment that Cara would do something as bad as was being discussed all over Facebook and the news feeds. No way Cara could be a pirate.

  Fifty.

  That’s what Abby Angel announced was the revenue drop of the entire Naughty Angel Publishing catalog after the announcement of the pirated books that were available for purchase. Her company has been hit hard. People don’t realize they’re purchasing books from a pirate. They don’t realize that she’s selling her books only on Rainforest.com. They see it on Pure Smut For You and they get really excited thinking that she’s offering her books on multiple platforms. What they don’t realize till it’s too late is that they’re getting ripped off along with Abby and Lana.

  One.

  That’s the rank for Sienna Sinner’s new book that’s tearing up the charts. That’s right. She’s number 1 in the Rainforest.com store and she couldn’t be happier. She makes sure that everyone fucking knows it too. Makes sure they know that they’re talking with a bestselling Rainforest.com author. Of course, what she doesn’t say is that had Naughty Angel Publishing been operating as per expectations, she would most likely be #5. Because the top four books would be belonging to Abby at that point. What she doesn’t say is that with the Naughty Angel books being purchased elsewhere, they’re not counting toward the bestselling status on the Rainforest website.

  What Sienna does say though is that she thwarted a pirate. That’s right. She thwarted a pirate from carrying out her final plans. She may not have done it in time to save Naughty Angel Publishing, which Sienna claims to love and respect and fucking admire. But she managed to lead the authorities based on clues to the home of the pirate and get her arrested before she could attack any other innocent indie authors.

  And thanks to Sienna apparently the publishing world is safe again. You know those fourteen thousand emails that Cara got in support and expressing love?

  Well, Sienna has her own crew of readers who are thanking her and naming their daughters after her for her “contribution” to the indie community.

  It makes you kind of sick when you hear it.

  Ten.

  That’s how many search warrants have been issued to search everything in Cara’s life. I’ve made my Bookfinder lawyers available to Cara as she needs them but she’s also of the m
indset that she’s got nothing to hide.

  And this is so fucking true. That’s one of the reasons that the authorities haven’t been able to find anything regarding Pure Smut For You on her computer, her accounts, her email, or her house. There is literally nothing connecting her to the site.

  It makes me kind of wonder how Sienna was hoping to pull this off because it seems kind of incomplete.

  “I think that Sienna had to play her hand before she was absolutely ready,” Derek says to me when I bring it up to him. I ruminate on it for a bit and realize that he may have a point.

  “The domain for Pure Smut For You probably saw that they were starting to get hits and they looked at the IP addresses from the computers that were coming to it and realized it was coming from us,” Derek continues. “Sienna knew it was either go for it or watch her plans get thwarted.”

  “That means that we were close to the source and pulling the plug,” Parker offers and I nod as well.

  It’s strange, but the three of us have begun to operate more and more as a unit with each passing day.

  It’s not hard to see why. Despite the fact we come from such different backgrounds and from various walks of life, we have one common thread that unites us all together.

  We love Cara White. And we want to save her and protect her with everything that we have. Nothing else matters. No one else comes close. We’re fine sharing her if it means that she’s happy. She’s our queen. And we will do anything for her.

  Strange words coming from someone like myself, huh?

  Well, stranger things have happened that’s for sure. But nothing has ever happened to me that’s been as Cara.

  And I’ll do anything to save her.

  Three.

  That’s how many days until we put our last plan together to save Cara. We’re going to the RGAA convention that’s being held and we’re going to pull out a few of our surprises now that Sienna has played her hand.

  She wants to play with fire?

  She better watch out for our hoses. Because it’s time to go to war.

  Chapter 23

  Derek

  Faster, faster, I think to myself as I slam my feet down on the accelerator, my fingers gripping the steering wheel so tightly that the bones in my hand feel as if they’re on fire. The Aston swerves in and out of traffic like thunder, the roar of its engine making everyone’s heads turn as I drive by, but it doesn’t feel as if I’m going fast enough.

  Dozens of people honk at me, and I even see some of them reaching for their phones; they’re probably calling the cops on me right now. But I don’t care about any of that. I have more pressing concerns right now.

  Time’s moving fast, and I can almost feel the hand of the clock slowly ticking inside my head. We tried to call Cara the moment we found out about Sienna’s plan, but she isn’t picking up. We knew that the moment Sienna found out she had a dummy drive that she would move fast, and I’m afraid we’re already too late to stop her.

  But all I can do right now is pray to God that the reason she isn’t picking up is because she’s busy.

  “Take my car, go! We’re right behind you!” Parker told me the moment our second call didn’t go through. He simply threw the keys at me and I grabbed them mid-air; without a single word, I simply turned on my heels and bolted out as fast as I could. As I revved the engine of his Aston, I drove away so fast I must’ve left half the tires on the pavement.

  Now, racing down the streets like a hurricane, I feel afraid. I have a bad feeling about the whole situation, and that feeling has already wrapped itself around my heart like briar thorn, becoming tighter and tighter each time my heart beats. Even though I’m doing my best to get to Cara before Sienna does, something tells me this is a battle I’ve already lost.

  Shut the fuck up, I try and tell myself, just keep your eyes on the road.

  When I finally stop in front of Cara’s apartment building, I just swerve the car onto the sidewalk and jump out of it as fast as I can, not even bothering to close the door behind me. I rush into the building and, so anxious that I can’t even wait for the elevator, I simply start running up the stairs.

  One minute later and I’m at her door, my lungs working overtime and my hair plastered to my forehead, beads of sweat making their way down my face. I take a second to catch my breath and, raising my fist, I rap my knuckles against the door. To my surprise, the door simply swings back on its hinges.

  “Cara?” I call her, but the only reply I get is a cold silence. “Oh fuck,” I mutter, stepping inside her apartment and taking in the scenery. Her couch has been turned upside down and the coffee table moved out of place, all of its drawers hanging open like lolling tongues. “Fuck,” I repeat, walking into her bedroom. The mattress has been ripped apart, slashed by the sharp blades, and every single drawer in the room is open. The floor is completely littered with her clothes, making it look like as if a crowd of madmen had the time of their lives inside this room.

  I didn’t make it in time, and now only God knows where Cara is. Swear to God, if I could put my hands on Sienna I would —

  Hearing noises coming from the living room, I press my back against the wall and hold my breath. Suddenly wishing I had a gun, I ball both my hands into two hard fists, ready to knock down whoever’s behind this.

  That’s when I hear their voices.

  “We’re fuckin’ late!” Mason growls.

  “That bitch moved fast,” Parker adds, his tone of voice fraught with tension. I step out of Cara’s bedroom, my heart beating a thousand miles per hour, and I simply look at them both.

  Parker moves toward the couch and, pushing on it, he takes it to its rightful place. He sinks down on it, and then runs one hand through his hair, a gesture of pure desperation. “What the fuck do we now?” I ask Mason and Parker, his lips turned into a thin line of both anger and calculation.

  “It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?” Parker replies, suddenly jumping up to his feet and moving toward the window. His gaze roams over the adjoining buildings, and he simply stands there in complete silence as he works through whatever’s on his mind.

  “There’s no other way,” Mason agrees, and he joins Parker by the window.

  “What way?” I ask them, joining them by the window as I feel all that anger bubbling up inside of me. “We need to go and find Sienna, that’s what we need to do right now!” I try and tell them, but they just stare at me and lower their gaze.

  “I know, man,” Parker whispers, digging his fingernails so deep into the palm of his hands that his knuckles have turned white. “But we need to think this through. We need to be careful.”

  “Careful? We have no idea what happened to Cara, and you want us to be careful?”

  “He’s right, Derek,” Mason joins in, placing one hand on my shoulder. “I want to confront Sienna as much as you do, but we do what’s best for Cara. And right now what’s best for Cara is that we keep focused.”

  They’re talking in riddles, but I can grasp the meaning behind their words. This situation has spun out of control faster than we had anticipated, and now it’s time we call in the artillery.

  “Okay, I’ll follow your lead on this one,” I say, nodding.

  “Do it, Parker,” Mason says, his gaze still lost somewhere on the horizon. “It’s time we bring in the big guns.”

  Chapter 24

  Derek

  It’s only noon, but the main floor of the convention hall is already packed. There are thousands of people in here, all of them bumping shoulders as they flow around one another, walking from booth to booth as they try to keep up with the hundreds of romance authors trying to peddle their latest books.

  The Romance Guild of America Authors convention is the biggest event of the genre, and people from all over the world gather here to keep their fingers on the pulse of the industry. Models, agents, publishers, authors, and adoring fans—all of them under a single roof.

  Last year the convention was set ablaze with Naughty Angel Publ
ishing, and its confrontation with Bad Boy Publishing. This year, though, there’s a different battle to take head on.

  Most of the crowd has gathered around Sienna Sinner’s booth, the largest one in the convention this year, and everyone’s dying to know what the new champion of the romance charts has prepared. Rumour has it that Sienna has prepared a major presentation, one that will take place on the main stage. The way I see it, the bigger the stage, the happier we’ll all be.

  You see, we didn’t sit on our asses these past months, just praying to God for some magical-rainbow-wizard to swoop down from the heavens and save us all. Oh, no, we prepared for war. Sienna might have won a few battles, but that has only hardened our resolve.

  She messed with the wrong fucking guys.

  And she really screwed up when she messed with Cara. Parker, Mason, and I ... we can take a punch. Or a dozen of them. But mess with the woman we love and prepare to be ripped apart. You read that right ... the woman we love.

  There’s really no other way of putting it. She waltzed in our life like a summer storm, and she took us all by surprise. The moment we realized what had happened, there was nothing we could do

  about it. Our hearts were already beating at the same pace, and they were doing it because of Cara.

  I’ve known her for quite a while, and I always struggled against that primal urge to simply pin her against the wall and fuck her until my whole body shut down. There was always that whenever Cara was close to me, but ever since that first time, at the bar ... I can’t put it into words, but something changed that day.

  I can’t believe I’m telling you all this, but being with Cara was fucking magical. And the moment the three of us shared her, the moment we gave her the thing she wanted the most ... well, magical doesn’t even start to describe it.

  She became ours, and we became hers.