36 Inches: A MFMM Romantic Comedy

by Alexis Angel

  “So, do you like your oysters raw or fried?” I found myself asking her.

  Yes. I was really in love.

  Let's hope she stayed in love with me after this was all over.

  Alicia

  You know, whoever said balancing a career and a love life was easy never probably went up against discovering that the guy they had fallen in love with was involved in an international money laundering conspiracy.

  I mean, I'm just saying that if those career women who have time for kids and a love life with their husband every night like they write about in all the magazines ever had the mental worry and anguish I'm going through, they'd either be career-oriented spinsters, or happily married and unemployed.

  I mean, I'm sitting here, looking at these trades.

  There is no doubt about it. No hiding from the fact.

  There is someone at Carter Jeffries or acting for Carter Jeffries that is executing orders from Derek's account moving vast sums of money around the globe to countries and entities that violate so many different laws that it's not even funny.

  It's no wonder that whoever has done this hasn't been caught. Derek is a high net worth private client, and the bank has a strict policy on confidentiality. I had to basically get promoted to get special access to see his account.

  And had this been in the normal database, what would've happened?

  Oh, I dunno ... like 18 different law enforcement agencies would have gotten red flags most likely. They probably would have swarmed our offices with SWAT teams and taken all of our computers.

  I need to figure this shit out. I need to tell someone. I'm too pretty for jail. I'm still an ass virgin. I was thinking maybe giving it up to Derek on our wedding night. You know, like a wedding present because obviously I'm not a virgin or anything. That ship sailed a while ago.

  But then, what do I do?

  I could lose my job, my license, and be forever barred from working on Wall Street if I get tagged as an accessory to this. I mean, you read about it in the Journal every day nowadays. Conspiracy to commit fraud and launder money. And I'm sorry babe, but just knowing about it and not saying anything is enough to make you part of the conspiracy.

  But who do I go tell? Nadia?

  She'll probably let our Legal and Compliance folks know. They'll investigate and then they'll alert the FBI, Homeland Security, the SEC, the Department of the Treasury, the IRS, and who knows who else.

  Jesus Christ, it's not like there's a witness protection program for whistleblowers. I mean, what do I even say to qualify? Please hide my identity because he's my boyfriend?

  Derek will probably never talk to me again much less have sex with me.

  And look at what he's done to me! I'm thinking about his fat cock inside of me when I should be thinking about my career.

  I'm thinking about how his arms feel wrapped around me as we lie in his bed and look over at the city.

  Yeah, girl you best check yourself before you wreck yourself, huh?

  I need to stop.

  I lean back and stare at the ceiling.

  So, I can't tell Derek anything because I would be violating the rules of the Firm by disclosing proprietary technology and secrets. And I can't tell Nadia anything because I'd be betraying the man I love.

  So there's only one thing to do.

  I'm actually surprised I didn't think of it sooner.

  I mean, what can you do when you can't tell each side what you found out separately?

  You tell them together.

  That's right.

  I'll go through my findings and let both Derek and Nadia connect the dots together.

  And then whoever has the questions will ask them. And whoever has something to hide will have to explain all this illegal shit or basically, I dunno, go to jail?

  I get to work, quickly shooting off an email. I've never written with such authority before, but I go ahead and state that I request the presence of Derek Lowell and Nadia Moore this coming Friday to go over an analysis of the Lowell Private Client Account. The reason for this walk through is due to the fact that after a thorough analysis I have some questions that need to be clarified and answered.

  Right. This should be good. I send out a calendar invite to both Nadia and to Derek.

  Let me just take a moment to explain the culture of Wall Street to you if you're not familiar.

  It's totally a hierarchical structure. Shit comes from the top and it always flows downhill.

  I think that's why Nadia made me an Associate.

  And normally, at an Analyst level, I would have never been taken seriously enough if I called a meeting. At the Associate level I probably have a bit more weight and gravitas to my title.

  Because in the world of money management, people still care about things like this.

  And, who knows, maybe Nadia won't even respond. Maybe Derek's personal assistant will see my email and toss it right into the junk pile.

  But somehow, within minutes of my sending the email and invitation for Friday, I get responses back from both accepting and signifying that they're going to attend.

  I'm sitting there in awe at my first high-level meeting that I set up and wondering at all the things I need to do.

  I need to get my presentation materials ready.

  I need to let the receptionist know to let security know so Derek can enter the building.

  I need to order coffee and sandwiches.

  That's when Nadia walks out of her office. I wouldn't even notice but she's wearing a really tight black skirt and blouse today and I have the feeling that she's going out after work.

  A part of me is jealous that she gets to leave early to probably go to the gym and then look pretty for whatever her plans are while I sit here and work, but that's just the dues I'm paying.

  Only this time, Nadia looks at me and I try not to wither under her stare.

  She smiles at me and I give her like half a wave. You know, where you feel kinda awkward and raise your hand to wave but don't want to go all out?

  And geez, that's one cryptic looking smile. It's like she's looking at me before I go in front of the firing squad or something.

  Before long, she's out the door.

  And I'm wondering how lil' old me is going to manage a meeting between a billionaire titan of Wall Street who just happens to be my boyfriend, and my Managing Director boss about illegal activity on a Private Client account.

  Yeah, it's going to be a late night at work tonight.

  Sigh. So much for the single life.

  Alicia

  Three days, thirty drafts of my presentation, and ten million cups of coffee later, I walk into the reserved conference room at work to see Nadia sitting at the head of the table and Derek just sitting down.

  I thought I had seen him coming in from the elevator while I was getting copies, but I hadn't said anything.

  I mean, to call out his name at work would've sort of been unprofessional, you know?

  That, and the fact that I haven't returned his calls for the last three days. I mean, it's not that I was avoiding him. I just didn't want to deal with a situation where he could potentially ask me about today and I'd either have to compromise my principles at work or have to tell Derek I love him but also need to think about what's best for my career.

  So yeah, I guess I probably was avoiding him, huh?

  Derek turns to look at me and I blush inadvertently as I feel his eyes travelling over my body. I don't know if it was intentional or what, but today is a lace underwear day.

  Maybe because it makes me feel sexy? Maybe because it makes me feel older? Or the big meeting I'm hosting?

  Whatever it is, today is the day that I bust out the La Perla black lace bra and thong. That just means that I had to go with the black skirt and white silk blouse that's a bit too tight around the boobs. Add some nice Tiffany's earrings and a sterling silver pendant and some makeup and throw on a suit coat and I'm so uber professional that after this meeting is over I'm going to g
o pose once or twice in the bathroom in front of the mirror.

  But if Derek had his way, he'd probably throw me on the conference table and rip off my clothes. That's how hungrily dude is staring at me.

  And he's not bad looking either, you know? The guy is in a tailored double-breasted dark suit that is cut so well that there is absolutely no hiding how gorgeous of a body he has. Those cut pecs that are sculpted in such a way that you can run your tongue down the crease of his upper chest. Those 8-pack abs. Ohmigosh. Talk about the last thing you need to be thinking about right before a meeting.

  Somehow, and again chica, I don't know how, I manage to calmly pull out the chair and sit down.

  I clear my throat and am about to dive in, when...

  "Actually, Alicia, I think it's best if I start," Nadia says. Her tone is cold and impersonal and I cock my head. "I think it's better if you simply answer the questions as they're posed to you.

  "Okay," I say, a bit puzzled.

  "I need to ask you some very difficult questions about Derek Lowell's account right now," Nadia says, her face impassive.

  I nod.

  Why is my heart rate suddenly increasing?

  "Three months ago, attorneys for Mr. Lowell reached out to our Legal & Compliance division because they were concerned about some odd activity taking place in his account," Nadia says and as I listen to her I see the door open and one of the lawyers, a Thomas Wright, from Legal walk in. "We've been conducting an internal investigation and we believe that you've been embezzling money from the account, Alicia."

  Wait.

  Did I hear that right?

  What the fuck?

  "I'm sorry?" is all I really manage to croak out.

  Nadia turns to the lawyer who sighs and opens his briefcase.

  "Ms. Sullivan," Mr. Wright says, referring to some paperwork as he says my last name, "Over the last three months, we've noticed a series of very improper money transfers in Mr. Lowell's account."

  I nod impatiently. This is exactly why I called the meeting. I should have maybe specified it in the invite, but I didn't want to cause a lot of fuss.

  "Transfers to countries that are specifically forbidden by the Federal Government because they are known havens for terrorism and money laundering," Mr. Wright continues and I nod simply. I have all the proof I need being told to me. I'm not worried.

  "At the same time, Mr. Lowell's attorneys believed that there was someone within Carter Jeffries who was embezzling from his account," the lawyer continues and then looks at me. "Something like this if it were to get out would be severely damaging to the reputation of the bank."

  That's exactly what I was thinking when I called this meeting, bub!

  "We knew that whoever was stealing from Mr. Lowell, since they were working within the Firm, would most likely seek to cover their tracks if the entire situation were scrutinized further," Mr. Wright says. "So, Mr. Lowell took a more active role and made himself available to your group under the guise of seeing the performance of his investments. Over the last month once Mr. Lowell began taking an active role, we saw that we were correct in our assumption and the thief began to try to cover their tracks."

  Why is my heart suddenly dropping to my stomach?

  "It corresponds to the time you began to somehow directly log into Mr. Lowell's account," Mr. Wright says to me.

  Wait.

  "I was doing the research that my manager asked me to do," I say quickly. "In the analysis of Mr. Lowell's account."

  Mr. Wright looks at me with a puzzled expression. "That seems highly unlikely, Ms. Sullivan, and is almost impossible. The Firm has a policy against placing that level of access upon those at the Analyst level--"

  I'm just not even going to let him finish that one.

  "I completely understand," I say with a flourish. "That's why when Nadia gave me this assignment, she promoted me to Associate," I say and lean back. This is all some horrible misunderstanding.

  Mr. Wright looks toward Nadia. I look toward Nadia. I can tell from the corner of my eye that Derek is looking toward her too.

  "Alicia," Nadia says slowly, "When I told you to prepare the investment options based on Mr. Lowell's visit, I never told you to go through his account. And," she says and pauses and laughs to herself. "There is no way I ever promoted you to Associate."

  It's like someone took a giant baseball bat and just hit me in the face.

  "We don't do promotions until the end of the year, and you're still too new to the Firm," Nadia continues as she looks through her phone. "And as far as I can see, there is no email or notification from me to HR telling them to move you to that level."

  "In fact, Ms. Sullivan, did you not use your manager's credentials to log into Mr. Lowell's account?" Thomas Wright asks me.

  Fuck. I don't know what to answer.

  I feel like throwing up.

  My head is spinning.

  I think I've been set up.

  "I'm going to take your silence as a sign of guilt, Ms. Sullivan," the lawyer says as he sits down next to me. "But you should know that the Firm will try to recover the damages from you on his behalf. We believe that you've stolen about $30 million dollars from Mr. Lowell so far."

  Tears are streaming down my face as I look to Derek.

  I can't tell what he's thinking.

  $30 million dollars?

  This global bank is about to go to war with me.

  How am I going to even be able to pay that back? The number is absolutely ridiculous.

  Especially because after my Starbucks today I only have $347.14 in my checking account.

  I wonder if Carter Jeffries does a 7,000-year payment plan.

  Derek

  $30 million dollars.

  That’s how much was stolen from me, and at this point in time, I honestly could care less.

  After months of searching and gathering evidence, I’ve finally found the thief. But again, I couldn’t care less.

  I stand up and look at her—this woman who has literally stolen a fortune from me.

  “Before you say another word,” I say looking at her. “Let me just go ahead and tell you that I’ve called over NYPD and Preston Cabot. I suggest the next words out of your mouth be the truth, Nadia.”

  Nadia looks at me with alarm and I hear a sharp intake of breath.

  That must be Alicia. She must be going out of her mind. I figure once we’re done here, she will probably be pretty mad at me, you know?

  And you know what? I’m not happy about it. I love her. I meant what I said when I told her that I needed her in my life. I can’t live without her.

  But the only way we were going to get out of this entire situation was for her to play the part that she fell into. I never wanted her to have to go through this. But she dove in, and I had to let her see it through.

  You have no idea actually what I’m talking about, do you?

  Fine, let me make it a bit clearer.

  Just then, the door opens and an uniformed police officer walks in along with the Chairman and CEO of Carter Jeffries.

  Nadia’s eyes grow wide and she gets up from her chair.

  But before she can do or say anything, Preston Cabot – the lion of Wall Street – speaks up.

  “Just stay right where you are, Ms. Moore,” he says sharply. “We’ll do this quietly to avoid as much embarrassment as possible as long as you cooperate. But make things difficult and I have no problem marching you out the floor in handcuffs.”

  Nadia seems to think better of her situation. She’s still flustered and looks at me.

  But I’m looking at Alicia. Poor girl looks like she’s about to faint, but she’ll be okay.

  Satisfied at how strong Alicia is to cope with all this, I turn my attention back to Nadia.

  “Yes, Nadia,” I say to her with a bit of a sneer. “I knew from the very beginning that the embezzlement was happening from Carter Jeffries.”

  Nadia is silent. This is a fucking wise move as I get up and walk over to
her. “What I didn't realize was that it was coming from right in the Private Client department. I mean, I thought maybe it was happening somewhere in the operational side – the traders or programmers who execute all the trades,” I say to her as she remains still. “I thought for sure it had to be someone who was getting legitimate instructions and then siphoning off cash. That it was someone who worked at your level and broke the system internally never occurred to me until Alicia started dropping hints and asking pointed questions.”

  Nadia looks over sharply at Alicia and I can see a whole new level of startled go through that girl’s face.

  “That’s right, Nadia,” I say aloud. “Alicia figured out what was going on, but a little faster than you thought she would. She found out some improper classifications of trades and most likely didn't realize that they were just placeholders. You classified trades and deposits as happening in Iran and North Korea, but it was actually just moving to your own bank account.”

  Nadia flinches. It’s just dawning on her the extent to how much I know what’s going on.

  “And being the good person that Alicia is, she tried her level best to find out what I knew without breaking her confidence to the Firm,” I say toward Preston who nods to me.

  I can see he’s about to say something so I pause to let him speak.

  “Imagine my surprise when Derek and I meet for a round of drinks and he tells me that the woman he’s been seeing just got promoted that works in his account,” Preston says to Nadia. “A promotion from this department during the middle of the year is something that usually has to get signed off by the CEO. By me. And I had no idea what he was talking about.”

  “You both knew?” Nadia asks Preston and I.

  I shrug and walk toward Alicia. “I suspected you were rotten,” I say nonchalantly. “But I also wanted to see how far you would take it. Only this morning did I realize you were attempting to set Alicia up for the fall and that was how you were going to exit. That’s when I had all the pieces I needed.”

  “As did we, Ms. Moore,” Preston says to Nadia. “Take it from someone who’s been on Wall Street a long time. You got greedy. And greed makes you careless. On the Street, Bulls rush in and Bears play it safe, but pigs get slaughtered.”