Shopping for a Billionaire’s Baby
Page 38
“Weirder things have happened.” Josh wraps his arm around my shoulders. His armpits smell like lemon and coconut. “I was married to Amanda, you know,” he tells Carol. “We had a honeymoon.”
“We had a panic-filled hour in a Las Vegas hotel suite after being poisoned with psychedelic-contaminated wine.” I wrench his arm off me. “Don’t compare the two.”
“I’m just saying, maybe Shannon and Declan are being private about their honeymoon because it’s, you know.” His voice drops. Wink wink. “Private.”
“Declan doesn’t strike me as the swinger type,” Carol declares.
“Right,” I add. “He’s not the sharing type. Have you ever tried going to a tapas bar with him?”
Josh straightens up, frowning at me. “Did you just say topless?”
“What? No! Tapas. Declan won’t even share small plates. You expect him to share his entire wife?”
“Scratch that theory off the list,” Josh mutters.
“Why did you,” Carol says, pointing to me, “and my little sister both land billionaires for husbands, and all I got was a tattooed ‘musician’ who turned MLM pyramid schemes into an art form and tried to convince me that lube made from tea tree oil was an aphrodisiac? Where’s my billionaire?”
“Oh, God, not this again,” Josh groans. “Carol must be on her third glass of sangria.”
She shakes the ice cubes at the bottom of her glass. “How’d you know?”
“Drink #1: This is great! I love hanging out with friends. Drink #2: I’m hungry. Drink #3: why can’t I get a billionaire?” Josh says, ticking off the list with his fingers.
“What’s Drink #4?” Carol asks.
“I hate Drink #4,” he says, turning red. “It’s when you start to tell us how long it’s been since you’ve had sex.”
“I do not!”
“Do too,” I inform her. Josh’s eyes jerk like his brain is riding a bucking bronco. “And then there’s Drink #5.”
“We won’t talk about that!” Josh squeals.
Carol gives him a head tilt and raised eyebrows, her sangria perched halfway to her mouth. “What on earth? I don’t have five drinks when we come out like this?”
“No, no, it was Mathilda’s wedding. Remember? She invited everyone in marketing to her wedding when she and Dryden tied the knot,” I remind her.
“The reception?” Carols asks. “The one that was all about candles in mason jars and a goat as a flower girl? on the farm in Marlborough?”
“That one,” Josh says primly, turning red.
“I did drink heavily that night. I’d just gotten my second child support check from Todd, ever, from the Virginia department of corrections. Twenty-three dollars and twelve cents. And then we came to the wedding and – what did I do after Drink #5?” She leans in. “Talk about my dry sex life?”
Josh looks like he’s choking on a cocktail stirrer.
“You asked Josh to sleep with you,” I blurt out. Might as well get this over with.
Carol laughs. “Did not!”
“You did,” he says, twisted away, his neck at an unnatural angle, like a swan procreated with a pipe cleaner. “You were, uh, very specific about what you wanted.” He makes a face like’s imagining eating something he doesn’t like.
Carol’s turn to blush. “I did not hit on you! You’re not my type, Josh. Sorry.”
“But. You. Did.” Josh grabs the edges of the table, which is made of stone, dark and grooved by deep scratches and years of sweaty glasses.
“If I did, I was clearly beer goggling it.”
“Vodka goggles. Not beer,” I correct her.
“I am sorry, Josh. Sorry I offended you. You’re definitely not my type, so it would take that much vodka to get me to hit on you.”
“You manage to turn an apology into an insult like it’s programmed into you.”
Carol laughs. “Blame my mother.”
* * *
Order Shopping for a CEO’s Honeymoon now. :)
Acknowledgments
To Suki Selborne, who randomly commented on a February 24, 2018 Facebook post I made while I was in the UK on a business trip, and mentioned my delight with the British phrase “chuffed.” Because of her, Marie’s naming of her dog took on a whole new meaning that… well….
* * *
To my husband, Clark, who inspired a scene at the baby shower, and who was my amazing superman through our pregnancies, our losses, and who, to this day, remains the best father I have ever had the privilege of knowing. You are my Jason, my Declan, my Alex, my Andrew, my — well, you’re all of them and none of them. You are Clark, and that is more than enough.
You inspire me.
But even better, you model kindness, humanity, decency, humor, joy and responsibility for our children. I wish every child were as lucky as ours to have a father like you.
Other Books By Julia Kent
Shopping for a Billionaire: The Collection (Parts 1-5 in one bundle, 500 pages!)
Shopping for a Billionaire 1
Shopping for a Billionaire 2
Shopping for a Billionaire 3
Shopping for a Billionaire 4
Christmas Shopping for a Billionaire
Shopping for a Billionaire’s Fiancée
Shopping for a CEO
Shopping for a Billionaire’s Wife
Shopping for a CEO’s Fiancée
Shopping for an Heir
Shopping for a Billionaire’s Honeymoon
Shopping for a CEO’s Wife
Shopping for a Billionaire’s Baby
Shopping for a CEO’s Honeymoon (coming 7/15/2018)
* * *
Her Billionaires
It’s Complicated
Completely Complicated
It’s Always Complicated
* * *
Random Acts of Crazy
Random Acts of Trust
Random Acts of Fantasy
Random Acts of Hope
Randomly Ever After: Sam and Amy
Random Acts of Love
Random on Tour: Los Angeles
Merry Random Christmas
Random on Tour: Las Vegas
* * *
Maliciously Obedient
Suspiciously Obedient
Deliciously Obedient
* * *
Our Options Have Changed (with Elisa Reed)
Thank You For Holding (with Elisa Reed)
About the Author
Text JKentBooks to 77948 and get a text message on release dates!
New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julia Kent turned to writing contemporary romance after deciding that life is too short not to have fun. She writes romantic comedy with an edge, and new adult books that push contemporary boundaries. From billionaires to BBWs to rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every book she writes, but unlike Trevor from Random Acts of Crazy, she has never kissed a chicken.
She loves to hear from her readers by email at jkentauthor@gmail.com , on Twitter @jkentauthor, and on Facebook at facebook.com/jkentauthor
Visit her website at http://jkentauthor.com