Submission To Black

by Rice, Rachel E.

  I gazed into his eyes and saw the seduction that I was running away from, but I also saw a lost soul and someone yearning to be whole again. In Jonas’s eyes and the twitch of his lips, he appeared to be a nervous wreck, and although I felt his pain, I could not let my son fall into his hands again.

  “Jonas, I have nothing against you, but I can’t forget how we met.”

  “I can’t say that that was my finest hour. I didn’t know that you and Max were…”

  “Yes, I know.” I cut him off because I didn’t want to relive that embarrassment again. That kind of embarrassment took a lifetime to wash away, and staying away from the person involved was the only way I knew to lessen the humiliation.

  “I will be leaving soon and taking Maxim with me.”

  “Did Max agree to allow you to take Maxim with you?” There goes that word again.

  “He can’t allow me or prevent me from having Maxim.” At that moment my feelings concerning Jonas went from hot to cold.

  “That is not exactly the truth. He has custody of him and he can do what he wants.”

  “That is enough, Jonas. This is a conversation between me and Alex.” I didn’t hear Max enter the kitchen. He just stood silent until Jonas inadvertently informed me of Max’s intentions.

  “It is now apparent that you are not going to give me your permission to take my son home with me.”

  “This is his home, Alex.”

  “His home is with his mother, wherever that is,” I said, turning to meet his angry, hooded eyes. “I am not a child, and I am not one of your acquisitions. I had nothing when I met you. I never wanted anything from you but my son. Now I realize that you will not compromise with me.” I felt weak throughout my body. “What would your mother say, Max?”

  “She would say, ‘Take care of your son.’”

  “Would she say, ‘Take your son from his mother’? The way you and Jonas were taken from her? Why do you think you and Jonas are so fucked up?” I saw the uneasiness and hurt cross their faces, and immediately I froze. I turned and ran into one of the bedrooms to call Charles St. John. Arguing with Max and Jonas would not get me anywhere, and staying around Max was getting too toxic.

  After rushing out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, I searched for my phone.

  “Charles. This is Alex. Can you send a plane for me?”

  “I can do better than that. I’ll send my limo to Max’s estate in thirty minutes. It will take you to the airport to my private plane. You will be in Seattle soon.”

  “Do you think it’s safe to take my son?”

  “Alex, the only way to gain custody of your son is with a court order, and that’s impossible now.” I hit the off button on the phone and placed it on the bed.

  I can’t marry Max, and I can’t be without my son. I dropped the robe and walked into the shower. The door opened, and Max stood behind me.

  “What are you doing here?” I said loudly.

  “You know that I get hot whenever you are around me.”

  “How do I know that you are Max and not Jonas?”

  His warm hands touched my breasts. He moved them down slowly and settled on my mound. “I see you are letting your hair grow the way I like it. Do you remember what I said to you when first we met?”

  “Do you mean the fortuitous meeting?” His eyebrow arched. “Those are your words, not mine,” I said, throwing Max off guard.

  “Well, if that is all you can remember, then what about this?” Max wrenched me into his arms, his hands cupping my breasts. His head lowered, biting my nipples hard. The pain excruciating and exciting and pleasurable, my nipples rose like cherries bursting into his mouth. The pain only heightened my arousal. He made the most erotic sounds as he sucked each nipple, one at a time. His hands reached for my clit, and his finger circled it until I was moist and panting for air.

  His body’s motion, moving his hard penis into my mound and rubbing against my pubic hairs, excited me and aroused me.

  Then my common sense took over. We hadn’t settled anything. It was like putting out a forest fire with a cup of water. “No, no, this is not going any further. You are using sex against me,” I said, pulling from his embrace and running naked from the shower.

  “And you are using it against me by taking yourself from me when you know that I would do anything to have your body. Anything!” His dark gaze frightened me.

  “If that is true, then let me—no, I will use your favorite word—allow me to have my son.”

  “Only if I know that you will marry me.”

  “I’m no liar. I don’t know.”

  “I have compromised with you, Alex.”

  “You call that a compromise when you have all the cards, and they are stacked against me. I would call that a coup.” I threw on a pair of jeans, a tee, and a leather jacket. I had my bag in my hand and set it at the door of Maxim’s room. I crept near his bed. I kneeled and kissed and hugged him. Then I walked out and picked up my bags with Max behind me.

  “Where are you going, Alex?” he said, his demanding voice reaching a crescendo.

  “Where I can be rid of you.”

  “You will never be rid of me.” My glance fell on Max and then I notice Jonas entering the large room.

  “I wouldn’t count on that,” I said, eyeing Jonas. I walked past Max and out the door on wobbly legs. My phone rang. It was St. John. I stood on the front entrance and answered the call.

  “My car will be there in five minutes.”

  “Thanks, Charles.” I walked down the stone stairs and stood outside in the cool mountain air. I felt the chill whip through my hair. I was not ready for this season of winter with Max. I had been use to a warm season. I had defied him and I would be in for the fight of my life.

  Throwing my bag on my shoulder, I stopped farther down the path and looked back and saw both Jonas and Max staring at me as if I were a child that had threatened its parents with running away from home. Their expressions mirrored my father’s when I left home as a teen.

  My father had sat on the porch and said, “See you at sundown. Mother and I will keep supper warm.” That was when I was sixteen, a rebellious teenager who loved her independence. The next time I saw my father, I was twenty-one and bringing Maxim home.

  It had taken five years for me to face my parents. How long would it take to face Max and my son?

  I looked up and saw a sleek black SUV rounding the corner. It had the appearance of an armored car. The driver instinctively knew it was me and pulled to the edge of the road, where a small stream and trees could be seen for miles. He came to a sudden stop, stepped out, and opened the door. “Ms. Bishop?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m to take you to Mr. St. John’s private jet.”

  “Thank you.” I stepped into the car, and he closed the door. Apprehension surrounded me, and I became lonely and afraid, as if I was that child of sixteen again, suddenly faced with the reality of my actions. But I couldn’t turn back, or my stubbornness wouldn’t let me.

  A text message came across the screen:

  Alex,

  Y have you chosen to desert our son?

  I can’t believe that u would word this text as if u were planning to use my actions against me. U made me an offer of marriage and insinuated that it was the only way that I could have my son.

  It was the only way I knew to keep u.

  You can’t keep me as if I am a business of yours. Even they go bankrupt if u don’t put something back into them. U can’t keep taking from me and expect me to love u.

  What can I do, Alex?

  Now? Nothing. The next move is up to me, not u. U have done enough to me.

  Alex, that sounds like a threat.

  Absolutely!

  Alex, where r u and when r u coming back?

  I’m not. And don’t try to find me.

  My cameras picked up u climbing into St. John’s limo. I’m flying to Seattle now.

  Who r u leaving Maxim with? Not that psycho brother of urs I
hope.

  Jonas is leaving for San Francisco tonight. He has an appearance to make. Maxim will stay with his governess. His mother has decided to desert him and his father.

  U r horrible, Max. There is no use talking to u.

  Alex, don’t leave me. We need u.

  If I answered another text he would probably use it against me. He believed in scorched earth to get what he wanted. It appeared impossible to win with him. I loved him too much and I felt that he loved me the only way he knew how, but he could not see that he was tearing us apart. His need for family was great, and if I stayed around him, he would probably destroy both me and our son if I didn’t do something soon.

  The chauffer handed off my bag to me, and I boarded the private jet at the private airfield. I spied two jets side by side. I arrived on Blackstone’s jet yesterday and I’m leaving on St. John’s jet today. What irony.

  I handed my bag to the stewardess. “Hello, Ms. Bishop. Your cabin is ready if you would like to shower. The food and wine menu is on your desk, and your bed is available if you need a quick nap. If you have any questions, ring this buzzer.”

  I glanced around, searching for answers, not the nearest exit, because if this jet crashed there was no way I could survive. “What am I getting myself into?” I mumbled in a fit of desperation.

  Taking my seat, I looked around and spied the cabin where I could take a nap. I had entered into a world of billionaires, and the only way to fight a billionaire was with another billionaire. I finally accepted my plight. I had become the pawn in this chess game of rich, influential kings.

  Chapter 2

  After eating and getting some much-needed rest without Max looming over me, I stepped off the plane and entered a limo, which took me to my rented cottage. St. John had the good sense not to insist that I meet him. What am I saying? It’s not about me. Maybe he had something important to do besides babysit me. Maybe he had companies to run and places to go and people to see.

  I was excited to be in familiar surroundings without the pressures that Max usually laid on me. I put the key in the door, and before it could fully open, there stood Joshua. “What are you doing here? I thought you were on your way to San Francisco.”

  “I called and asked your roommate, Crystal, and by the way, why didn’t you tell me you had a roommate and that she was so yummy?”

  “Yummy?” I said, giving Joshua a second look. “What, are you a candy maker now?” He appeared embarrassed and bit his lip. I knew what he meant; I guess I was a little jealous because he usually heaped attention on me. Maybe I was falling into thinking that everything was about me, and clearly it wasn’t.

  “I was just saying that she is gorgeous.” He reached to kiss me, and I ignored him.

  “Where is she?” I passed Josh, scurrying in the direction of Crystal’s room. I noticed the rumpled bed. Not that this was unusual for her, but it was a bit messier than I expected—pillows, sheets, and a blanket on the floor, and her bra slung around the headboard. I turned to see Joshua standing behind me, wide eyed.

  “She had to run to the drugstore for something.” His voice was shaky.

  “How long have you been here? No, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know,” I said with a raised eyebrow. I noticed that Joshua had his bags in the corner of the dining area. One had been opened, and shirts hung out. “I would offer you a place to stay, but there are only two bedrooms in this cottage. And we know how you like the good life.”

  “I’ve already made myself at home. You see…” Joshua hadn’t completed his thought when Crystal entered, looking like the fox caught in the henhouse.

  “Hi, Alex. I thought you were staying longer with Mr. Blackstone, or did you go off with St. John?” Before I could gesture to her, she had already let the cat out of the bag.

  “What is this about going off with St. John?”

  “Oh, that’s nothing, Josh, Besides, it is none of your business,” I said, looking at Crystal, and then my glare fell on Joshua.

  “Yes it is,” Crystal said before she looked at me and had time to think. She had an annoying habit of talking constantly.

  “Don’t you know that he’s Max’s fiercest competitor? They have been at each other’s throats for years. You’re playing a dangerous game, Alex,” Joshua added.

  “I’m just getting help from him. I have to do something about Max and my son.”

  “I told you before: you can’t win this with Max.”

  “Well, at least I can even the odds. He will know he has been in a fight.”

  “There are some fights not worth getting into, and this is one of them,” he warned.

  Crystal had left during the first round of our conversation. She was a girl that just wanted to have fun, and there was no fun in discussing men who she felt she couldn’t get close to. I had never seen her walk into the kitchen, let alone prepare any food. I had never even seen her take out a plate or a pot, but I did smell meat cooking. She stuck her head out and said, “I’ve set the table, and your steak and potatoes are ready, Joshua. Just the way you like.” The way she pronounced his name and giggled, I knew that they had been intimate. Joshua leapt up from the couch and glided over to the oak table in the dining area, where an arch separated it from the living room.

  “I’ll pass,” I said, walking into my room and closing the door. I could only take so much of new love, especially since mine had soured and so soon. Lying around looking up at the ceiling made life a little clearer. I had peace and quiet to think. No sooner had these thoughts crossed my mind, I received a text from St. John.

  Alex,

  My driver informed me that you arrived without any problems and you are home. I have this job lined up for you and all you have to do is show up on Monday. You will receive an e-mail shortly.

  Charles

  ***

  The e-mail came as promised. I made a call to Montana to speak to Maxim. He wanted to know why I didn’t wake him, and he said that he loved me and wanted me to come be with him and “Daddy.” I explained that I had to go to work and would see him soon. He appeared to be happy with that explanation.

  With more on my mind than I could process, I managed to wake up early Monday morning for my new job. I passed Crystal’s room and peeped in. Joshua had made himself at home. I sighed because they looked so typical as they slept. Her head nudged into his chest. Not like me and Max. As I walked out of the door, I saw a sleek limo in front of my door. I sauntered down the stairs and made a right on the sidewalk, heading for my Volkswagen, but to my surprise the driver stepped out of the car.

  “Ms. Bishop, I was sent by Mr. St. John. He felt that it would be easier if I were to drive you to work.”

  “Tell Mr. St. John that I can find my way.”

  The dark window slid down, and Charles St. John’s face appeared. “I wanted you to arrive on time and be relaxed on your first day.”

  “I appreciate that, Mr. St. John, but I prefer to drive myself.”

  “No pressure, Alex. Do as you wish.” He raised the window, and the driver entered the car and drove away.

  I arrived at the bank; its steel facade and tinted windows overlooked Seattle’s downtown. I was directed to parking for employees. I exited my Beetle, and the attendant gave me a faint smile. Driving into the garage I had glanced at the parked cars. There were no used Volkswagen bugs other than mine. There appeared to be every make and model of Mercedes, BMWs, Porsches, and Audis; it was a car enthusiast’s playground. Maybe St. John was trying to save me from being embarrassed. But I had long ago passed the embarrassment stage in my life.

  Losing that part of me was the most liberating thing that could happen to me, and as far as the car, as long as it took me where I wanted to go and brought me home, I was a happy camper. The car was the least of my worries.

  I entered the lobby, with its old-world charm, which was the opposite of the outer building. The outside appeared to have been newly built, yet the inside suited individuals that were used to money. I had to ch
eck my clothing to make sure I was dressed appropriately. Thank God for a black suit and white shirt I had leftover from working for Max.

  Holding on to the e-mail directions, I entered the elevator and landed on the floor that said Insurance. After handing in my information at the front desk, I was instructed to sit to my left on the large L-shaped sofa. A young man of about twenty-five came in and shook my hand.

  “My name is Sean and I’m head of this division.” I introduced myself and bounded behind him into a large, impressive office. He was dressed in a blue striped suit with a light blue tie. I glanced at his shoes. Never had I seen a shine like that on his black bespoke shoes—that is, until I met Max. He probably had one of the high-end BMWs sitting in the garage next to my beat-up ten-year-old Volkswagen. He was cheerful and less formal when introducing me to the staff. Sean explained to me that I would have a mentor until I had adjusted to the culture of the company.

  Everyone went about their work pretending not to notice the new hire. They appeared to be relaxed, with smiles to match. Although they worked in a highly charged atmosphere, where money was the commodity, they showed no anxiety.

  When Sean brought me to my office, he introduced me to my mentor, Marianne Huntington. She was a woman in her thirties who had forgotten she was thirty and not twenty. Although she dressed in a tailored suit, the skirt was short, and her heels were about four to six inches. I was reminded of my employment at Blackstone. However, she appeared to be a go-getter and a woman who didn’t depend on her looks for advancement. I admired her and hoped to earn my way, I explained.

  “Ms. Bishop, this is your office. It is a bit small, but you have room to move up the ladder if you do as I ask and follow the rules. I believe in following the rules,” she said with a pleasant smile. “You should dot all your i’s and cross all your t’s, if you know what I mean. Make sure you observe and pay attention to details,” she said, gazing over her black designer reading glasses.

  I felt that she was looking through me. I had overlooked the wording of contracts with Max that had a profound effect on my life, and I would be damned if I did that again.