Never Cry Werewolf

by Heather Davis

  He shook his head at me, and then disappeared around the corner into the shadows.

  Minutes later, I held the bag of ice for Ariel on my head, trying to dull the ache. I mean, I was glad that Austin wasn’t a junkie, but how could this be real?

  “Not what you expected, am I?” Austin said as we walked back to the square dance.

  “Yeah. Not exactly.”

  We walked along in silence for a moment.

  “So, what was with the pot roast? You, um, eat bloody stuff?” I said, trying to make conversation. I had no clue what I was supposed to say to a werewolf.

  He nodded. “Off my serum, I crave it. Pure protein. The fresher the better. The cooked variety merely lays about in my stomach—it doesn’t satisfy the wolf’s hunger.”

  “The wolf…you talk like he’s a separate creature, but he’s you. Right?”

  Austin’s eyes took on a serious look. “Yes and no. He’s part of me. But that doesn’t mean he controls me.”

  I gulped air past the lump in my throat. “So, uh, what does that mean, exactly?”

  “We’re two individuals sharing the same soul. We’re together yet separate. Just like me, the wolf has his own instincts, desires, and thoughts.”

  “I don’t get it. I mean, a wolf is a wolf, right? How can he think and stuff?”

  “Werewolves aren’t like regular wolves, Shelby. We don’t always live or travel in packs like they do. We don’t share the same social hierarchy. We aren’t slaves to hunger like ordinary wolves. We are evolved beings. And when we change, we carry our human personalities with us. Even so, I’ve taken medication since I was twelve to suppress the wolf. It’s easier for me to live that way.”

  “So, um, what about the wolf’s feeding habits? I mean, should I be worried?” I said, my voice unnaturally high and squeaky.

  He stopped, catching me by one arm. “Now that hurts my feelings. The notion that I would bite a friend.”

  “So maybe you wouldn’t, but would the wolf?”

  “No.” He released my arm and we kept walking.

  “So, did you change tonight? There’s no full moon.”

  “The serum’s out of my body. I felt ill this morning, but now I can complete the transformation if I want to. It’s easier for me to, ah…feed in my wolf body. It’s far less revolting. When the full moon comes, I won’t have a choice—I’ll just change.”

  I nodded, totally getting why Austin would want the serum so badly. I had so many questions, but I was still freaked out. It was hard to wrap my brain around the whole idea.

  “So, are you going to tell him or am I?” I asked when the campfire came into sight.

  “Sorry. What?” Austin paused on the edge of the field.

  “Are you going to tell Mr. Winters the truth? I mean, so you can get your serum?”

  Austin’s eyes got huge. “Are you daft? Neither one of us is. We can’t tell him my secret,” he said, his voice almost a growl. “The world catches wind of my family and we’re dead.”

  “Oh.” I pressed the ice bag to my head again. “So what are you going to do?”

  “That’s a question I’ve been trying to answer all week long,” Austin said.

  “Right.” I lowered the ice bag and squinted at Austin in the dim light surrounding the volleyball court. He was telling me all this as if it were somehow my problem, too. Didn’t the guy know I had my own issues at the moment?

  “Why did you have to tell me?” I said, hoping it didn’t sound too whiny. “I mean, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this.”

  Austin’s jaw set firmly. “You asked. I told.”

  My eyes widened. He just thought he could lay something like that on me and life would be sunshine and rainbows? “Well, I didn’t think the truth was going to be all supernatural,” I said.

  He looked at me, his eyes cold and silvery again, and said, “You asked for the truth. I thought perhaps that meant you cared.” Then, without a backward glance, he disappeared into the night.

  NINE

  As if the square dancing the night before had been a bad dream, the giant barn-gym was transformed the next day and outfitted with a black wooden stage and rows and rows of folding chairs. Campers clustered in various parts of the room, trying to plan their talent show entries.

  I stuck with Ariel while people chose groups, and it wasn’t long before Price had worked his way over to us. Across the gym, Austin was sitting in a folding chair talking to two blond girls. I hadn’t seen him interacting with any other girls at camp, and for some reason, seeing him do it made me feel a little weird. Not possessive, just weird. Like I should warn those girls that at any moment he might bust out some massive fangs.

  My brain was still sorting through the events of last night, trying to see how it could have been real. I mean, if it were true, if creatures like werewolves lived among us, what other made-up things existed in the world? Seriously, any second now I expected Ariel to announce she was a vampire.

  At that very moment, Austin looked my way. I gave him a half smile and then focused on the discussion my little group had under way. I didn’t know what else to do.

  “Romeo and Juliet?” offered Price.

  Ariel smiled shyly. “Um, yeah…that’s an idea.”

  “Maybe we could write a skit about the counselors? I know it’s lame, but it’d be easy,” I said.

  Price and Ariel shared a look.

  “What?”

  “Everyone and his cousin’s gonna do that,” said Price. He frowned at the scratch paper in his hands. “That’s why I’m thinking about some kind of real theater stuff.”

  Ariel nudged me and said, “He starred in his school’s My Fair Lady last fall.”

  “Oh, cool. Well, whatever you think of, how about I paint the scenery or something?”

  “I’d have a go at painting sets,” Austin said, walking up to us.

  Price beamed. “Great. Now we just have to find a copy of a play.”

  “Or Ariel could write one,” I suggested.

  Ariel’s face went deep pink. “Uh…let’s walk over to the camp library and see what’s there,” she said.

  “Let’s all go,” I said, getting up from the chair.

  Ariel put her hand on my shoulder. “You and Austin stay here and talk about set design stuff,” she said with a wink. “I’m thinking some kind of fairy tale.”

  “That could work,” Price said, nodding. “Let’s go, Ariel.”

  “Shelby,” Ariel whispered, leaning over to me. “I’m trying to help you out here. You can thank me later.” With that, she and Price went off, chattering about their ideas.

  Austin had taken a seat in an empty chair next to me. He glanced at me expectantly as I sank back down into my seat. “Frightened to be alone with me now?” he said.

  “No. It’s not that,” I said. “I mean, it is kinda that, but kinda not.”

  “I expect it’s difficult to grasp what you saw last night.”

  I blinked at him. “Uh…yeah.”

  Austin nodded. “You’ve taken it better than I thought.”

  “How was I supposed to take it? You told me you’re not human.”

  “I didn’t say that at all,” Austin said, his eyes darkening. “We’re humans with a genetic anomaly. We’re far more human than most humans I know. Tell me, do I seem like an animal to you?”

  I swallowed the response on my tongue—that any guy who would snarf down raw, bloody meat wasn’t exactly normal. As far as him being human, he sure looked like a regular guy sitting next to me now, but in the dark last night he’d seemed like a ravenous wild animal. I wasn’t sure what he—the wolf—was capable of.

  He moved his chair closer to mine and said, “I’m not a mind reader, Shelby, but I can see you’re frightened. You needn’t be. This is merely a genetic trait passed down through my family’s bloodline. Though people have, over the years, infected others.” He sat there, quietly watching me from behind his dark bangs.

  I chewed at my lower li
p. “So, your whole family is…?” I leaned in closer to him and said, “I mean, you’re, like, descended from a line of…people like you?”

  Austin nodded. “My ancestors were the scourge of Eastern Europe in the twelfth century. Over the years, we’ve evolved. Our feeding habits are a lot more selective these days.”

  “Except for your father’s,” I said.

  Austin colored slightly. “Yes. He enjoys the whole lifestyle. Howling at the moon, letting himself go wild out in the countryside. That’s why we own several large estates. He loves working our private hunting grounds and going on safari. Of course, it’s all nonhuman prey.”

  “What about your mom?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

  The redness left Austin’s cheeks and his body seemed to relax. “She wasn’t born Lycan. She went through the change when she fell in love with my dad. Then Dad’s band went worldwide and they could afford to hire the chemist who developed the serum. It inhibits the hormones that make me change and masks the parts of my DNA that are beyond human. Mum always wanted me to have a choice.”

  “She sounds cool.”

  “The best,” he said.

  “So there wasn’t, like, any fortune of the werewolves or anything? Your dad had to make himself rich?”

  “We don’t steal. You’re thinking of vampires.”

  I did a double take. “So they are real, too? Holy crap.”

  He nodded. “Another genetic anomaly. Of course, they’re the undead. We’re very much alive.”

  “I still can’t believe it,” I said. “There’re other people like you out there. For real?”

  Austin seemed to brighten. “Yeah, world-renowned ones, too. Wrestling stars, heads of state, even a Miss Universe.”

  “She had to shave a lot, huh,” I said with a little giggle.

  Austin smiled but didn’t laugh. “We’re normal people with a horrible secret to bear. It’s not like the movies.”

  “Yes, you’re a very evolved community. You don’t attack people. I feel tons better,” I said, hoping Austin couldn’t tell that I was still freaked.

  “What do we have here?” Charles said. “Wasn’t working out with the blond chicks, huh, Bridges?”

  Austin glared. “We’re having a private discussion. I emphasize the word private.”

  “Excellent. Don’t let me stop you.”

  “What is your deal?” I said.

  “Wow. She does like you! Unbelievable.” Charles shook his head. “That’s taking quite a risk. I guess you like to live on the edge, Shelby.”

  “What the devil are you talking about?” Austin stood up so that he was chest to chest with Charles. It looked like he was about to pop him a good one.

  “I don’t think you need me to repeat the story,” Charles said casually.

  “Searching for more lies?” I said.

  “Searching for stories—not lies,” Charles said. “This place is a gold mine of information.”

  “Stay away from me,” Austin said, his voice almost a growl.

  “Yeah. Not going to happen, Bridges. Not till I find out what’s really going on with you. And I’ll be keeping an eye on Shelby, too. I smell an exclusive.” Grinning, Charles backed away and then walked off.

  Austin slumped down in his chair. “That bloke is a problem,” he said, closing his eyes. “Perhaps you see what my family’s had to deal with. It’s difficult enough keeping my father out of the press as it is. Not to mention our other problem.”

  “Yeah, if you don’t get the serum and Charles sees you…” I murmured. If Austin changed in the middle of camp, not only could someone take a picture, but what if he was in his cabin at the time and couldn’t get out? The kids might freak and attack him, or he them. I shuddered, thinking of how wolves ripped flesh from their prey.

  “I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to involve you in all of this.” Austin took one of my hands in his, and my first instinct was to pull my hand free.

  But I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to let go of him. Austin seemed totally honest. I hoped he was telling the truth about the control he had over the wolf. I hoped he was the good person he appeared to be. And deep down, even though maybe it was one of my faults or whatever, I wanted to be able to trust him.

  I let my hand relax in his grasp. It was hard not to notice how warm and dry his hand was as it wrapped around mine. I felt a little flutter start in my belly. He definitely was having an effect on me. One part fear, one part irresistible pull. And somehow it felt right.

  The next day, while everyone hurried off to the boys’ and girls’ therapy groups, I walked directly to the camp director’s office to scope out just what Austin was up against. There had to be some way to get to the serum.

  A little nervous I’d be seen, I slipped inside the rustic office building and gently closed the door. No one was around. I walked to the office door and checked out the lock. It was pretty standard. I’d been hoping for a cheapie bathroom door variety you could pick with a butter knife.

  The door to the building opened behind me, and I whirled around. In the same instant I noticed Mr. Winters and the security cam above the entryway—its red light blinking.

  “Shelby? What brings you here?” Mr. Winters said.

  “Oh. I was passing by on my way to group.”

  Mr. Winters smiled thinly. “You’re late. Did you need to talk?”

  “No, I, um…”

  “Being late to group adds another day to your weeding chore,” Mr. Winters said.

  I pressed my lips together, holding back a curse. “Fine. I better go.”

  “Wait,” Mr. Winters said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

  “Yeah?”

  We stood there looking at each other for a second before he said, “You came here to see me. What’s on your mind?”

  My friend is a werewolf who needs his medicine. “I, uh, was just coming to ask you if I had to garden again today, and now I do, I guess,” I said, thinking on my feet.

  “Shelby, you don’t have to lie to cover your embarrassment,” Mr. Winters said, shaking his head. He led me over to two chairs huddled in the corner near a dying ficus tree. “Look, I think I understand why you’re here. Of all the young women at camp, you have a real chance at remaking yourself, if that’s what you’d like to do. I hope you’re here because you want to talk. I hope you’re perceptive enough to realize that you are the only one who can change the direction of your life.”

  “I don’t think it’s going in such a bad direction,” I said, feeling just a bit uncomfortable now. I prepared myself for the onslaught of professional advice that was sure to come. So much for an easy reconnaissance mission.

  “Shelby, your father wrote on your application a little of your recent family history. I’m sure you’ve probably heard this, but losing a parent is one of the hardest things a child can experience.”

  I gritted my teeth. I had heard that before—from everyone who looked at me with the poor-Shelby expression and whispered about me as they walked away. It was cold comfort to have people pity you.

  He continued, undeterred by my stony glare. “You’re a strong, obviously brave young woman after surviving that kind of loss,” he said. “No one can prepare a kid for that pain. It takes courage to go on after that.”

  I blinked. “As if I had a choice in the matter,” I replied.

  “Actually, you did.” Mr. Winters gave me a sad smile. “And I have a feeling, knowing you even for a short time, that you were staying strong for your dad. You probably felt like you had to be strong for him.”

  I sucked in a deep breath, wishing the conversation was over. “Look, I just did what I had to do.”

  “I’ve known a kid or two in similar circumstances. You didn’t break down. You didn’t want your dad to see you sad because you thought he was already sad enough. But, when you’re young, parents are there to support you, not the other way around.”

  “You’re making a lot of assumptions,” I said.

  He smiled agai
n. “Why don’t you tell me how you see it?”

  I shook my head, my eyes tight against the tears I could feel behind them. I wasn’t going to do it. I wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of some random counselor guy who thought he knew me after a few days of pulling weeds with him.

  He patted me on the shoulder. “It’s okay. I want you to know everything you’re feeling, and everything you felt back when your mom died, is okay. It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could do but love her, which obviously you did very well.”

  I wiped my moist eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know where this old guy got off saying all this stuff when he wasn’t there, he couldn’t know how I’d felt, even if he was a good guesser.

  “That’s right—just go with the feeling,” Mr. Winters said.

  I sniffled. “Uh, I should go, girls’ group and all. Fun, fun, fun.”

  “You don’t like girls’ group?”

  “What’s not to like?” I said with a laugh. “Another session of let’s talk about becoming a woman? Who wouldn’t love it?”

  He didn’t react to my sarcasm. “You find it boring?”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “It’s embarrassing and totally unnecessary. I’m sixteen. Technically, I’ll be an adult soon. I don’t need to hear all this becoming-a-woman crap. In a couple of years I’ll be off at college far away from rules and stepmothers and people like you who think I’m some kind of head case.”

  “I don’t think that, Shelby. Do you?”

  Gah! I stared at him and said, “No, I don’t think that. I’m perfectly fine.”

  “You sound pretty angry for someone who feels fine.”

  “Duh! I’m angry at people butting into my business and telling me what to do and who to be and what to feel.”

  He cocked his head at me, looking like some kind of hairless St. Bernard with that big head of his. “That makes sense, Shelby, but following your parents’ rules builds trust between you and them. Consider it logically.”

  “Sure. Are we done?”

  He nodded, so I walked to the door.