The Vampire and the Ink of Doom (Dreadful Vampire Mysteries Book 1)

by Piper Alexander

  Alec was here, though, and that meant there was hope. I couldn't have kept the stupid smile off my face if my life had depended on it.

  Agnes Coulson, my new boss, glanced at the expression on my face and chuckled, her fingers flying rapidly over the keyboard, defying her eighty-something years. It was popular to think older people couldn’t handle technology but Agnes proudly blew that myth out of the water.

  “Now, Sheriff,” Agnes said. “Don’t be trying to distract Penny while I’m showing her how to catalog books.”

  “Well, I don’t know exactly what that involves,” he said, “but it sounds impressive." He looked at me and smiled, launching a thousand butterflies in my stomach. "Actually, it sort of sounds like a promotion since her original job was putting books back on shelves.”

  “Oh, it’s a definite promotion,” Agnes said. “She’s a natural when it comes to books. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for sending her my way.”

  I glanced up from watching Agnes enter information into the database for just a second to sneak another peek at Alec. Agnes would understand. Any woman would understand.

  Tall, broad-shouldered, thick blond hair, and the dreamiest blue eyes you could imagine. Sheriff Alec Grayson was the type of law enforcement officer that could make you actually want to get arrested.

  Not that getting arrested had actually been my plan. I thought I was saving a life when I snatched a book out of the hands of an unsuspecting teenager.

  Turns out I was simply stealing a perfectly ordinary book. Thankfully, Alec didn’t lock me up. Instead, he assigned me to two months of community service at the library, figuring my ‘unhealthy fascination with books’ - his words; not mine - needed a constructive outlet.

  Since Agnes had sort of been unwillingly promoted when the former head librarian was killed, she appreciated the extra set of hands, and I appreciated not being thrown in jail because I was certain the Sheriff’s office wouldn’t be able to handle my unique dietary needs.

  Oh, by the way, my name is Penny Dreadful, and I’m a vampire. Not a bad vampire, mind you. A few bad ones through the centuries gave all of us a bad name, but I’m probably just like you… except I drink blood… and I have vampire strength and speed… oh, and I’d go POOF in the sunlight if it wasn’t for the magic sunstone ring I wear… but aside from that, I’m totally like you.

  Me and my sisters, Paige and Pita, eventually got tired of hanging out in Transylvania with Daddy Drac so we relocated to the United States in… wait for it… Transylvaniatown.

  That’s right. My sisters and I, along with the formidable Granny Mags, left the real deal for a touristy fake, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  In addition to being the home of the oldest, most haunted cemetery in the United States, Transylvaniatown also happened to have a small, hidden population of witches, werewolves, and other supernatural beings who supposedly don’t really exist. It’s the friendly little town filled with tricks, treats, and all kinds of things that go bump in the night.

  And speaking of things that bump in the night, Alec had obviously mistaken me for a library book because he was checking me out. Yeah. I went there. I glanced over at him and flashed a wicked grin. “What’s on your mind, Sheriff? I know you let me get away with doing community service but it looks like you’re still picturing me wearing your handcuffs.”

  Alec smiled, looking me straight in the eye. “The thought might cross my mind every now and then.”

  “Oh, no,” Agnes exclaimed. “Don’t do that. She’s doing a fine job.” She looked from me to the sheriff and then back again. “Oh… never mind.” She locked her eyes back onto the computer screen, a slight pink tinge creeping onto her cheeks.

  I chuckled and patted Agnes on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Agnes. I don’t think the sheriff is brave enough to actually put me in handcuffs.”

  “Oh really?” His eyes sparkled with mischief and he took a step towards the counter, his hand slowly rising towards a pouch on his belt.

  I sucked in a breath and held it. Things were about to get really interesting. Would he really do it? What should I do? How far will he take things? What if he takes me to his truck? I grinned. Oh, I knew the answer to that last one. I knew exactly what would happen if he took me to his truck.

  A police siren suddenly filled the air and Alec frowned. Instead of grabbing his handcuffs, he grabbed his phone instead.

  He had a police siren as his ringtone? I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. If anyone was born to be a lawman, it was Alec Grayson.

  Alec noticed my eyeroll, flashing me a panty-melting smile as he answered the phone. “What’s up, Roxie?” He sighed and nodded, although Roxie couldn’t see him. “Got it. On my way.” He put his phone away and pointed at me as he headed for the door. “Saved by the siren. Duty calls.”

  “Anything serious?” I couldn’t keep a tremble out of my voice. It had been a while since we’d had any problems with supernatural books unleashing monsters. I was pretty sure any enchanted books left around town had lost their power when their creator died. But there was always a chance I was wrong.

  Alec nodded, his expression grim. “Very serious. Apparently, someone moved the garden gnomes in Mrs. Hinkley’s yard to make it look like they were… well, doing things garden gnomes shouldn’t be doing.”

  I laughed. “Have fun with that.”

  He chuckled as he walked out the door and I leaned over the counter to keep him in sight for as long as possible. That man’s butt was the reason jeans were invented.

  Agnes cleared her throat. “Well, the new sheriff is certainly friendly.” She grinned. “You stole that book just to get arrested by him, didn’t you?”

  I laughed. “Not quite but I can’t complain about how things worked out.”

  Agnes nodded. “He seems like a keeper so you might want to hold on to that one. This is a nice town but there aren’t a lot of eligible bachelors to choose from.”

  “Sounds like someone is speaking from experience,” I teased.

  Agnes chuckled. “Don’t let the white hair fool you. I still know how to get wild when get together with my friends for our weekly bridge game, and it’s safe to say I could probably dance you under the table since I never see you at the Devil’s Brew.

  I couldn’t hold back a smile as I imagined Agnes working it on the dance floor at Devil’s Brew, the local bar and grill. I was just about to ask her to give a dance demonstration when the bell on the front door chimed.

  Agnes and I both stared as a seemingly endless parade of women entered the library. They were all wearing casual clothes, with most of them having their hair pulled back into ponytails, but it was easy to tell they weren’t from around here. They all carried themselves a certain way, a way that suggested they were more comfortable around the glitz and glam of a big city than they were in a little small-town library. The assumption was confirmed as the girls wandered around, talking amongst themselves.

  “Did you see the street signs and lights? They have little metal cobwebs and bats on them.”

  “How about the lady at the Farmer’s Market wearing the witch’s hat. It was just too adorable.”

  “It’s cute, but there’s no Starbucks. I didn’t realize there were still places that don’t have a Starbucks.”

  I glanced out the window and saw a huge bus parked in the parking lot. It was big and silver, with a white banner on the side that had a border of painted roses framing a very odd question. Are you ready to meet your prince?

  “A dating tour bus?” I wondered out loud.

  Agnes followed my gaze, then looked at the women wandering around. “Doesn’t look like any of them would have a problem with getting a date.”

  She was right. Every single one of the girls was a knockout, looking like they belonged on the cover of a magazine, and they all carried themselves with an air of confidence. No way did any of these girls need help in the dating department.

  My phone chirped and I glanced at the screen, on
ly to see an ominous message from my sister, Paige.

  Get here ASAP!!!

  Chapter 2

  Within a few minutes, I was riding my powder-blue Vespa up Cemetery Hill Road to the Dreadful Inn, the bed and breakfast owned by me and my sisters. Fortunately, Agnes was an easy-going boss. After I had told her there was a family emergency back home, she had practically shoved me out the door, telling me that she hoped everything was alright.

  I sighed heavily as I putted up the hill. I had been looking forward to kicking back and taking it easy with a glass of wine, although taking it easy wasn’t always the easiest thing to do when the Dreadful girls were involved. Our grandmother, Granny Mags, was more determined than ever to come up with something to scare guests away. She wasn’t thrilled at all that her wolf idea hadn’t worked. Not only did the wolves roaming the property not scare the guests, a few visitors had actually told us the prowling predators had added to the spooky ambiance.

  As I reached the top of the hill, the first thing that caught my eye was the gray and black Victorian house. The Dreadful Inn. Home. Built in the Second Empire Victorian architectural style, the second-floor and third floor bedrooms on the right and left of the house featured covered balconies, with the center windows having gingerbread gables over them. There was even an iron weathervane on top of the house that included a decorative metal bat sitting on top of it. We had fallen in love with the place as soon as we saw it.

  The second thing that caught my eye was the big white van with a television station logo on its side parked in the circular drive near the front door.

  The third thing that caught my eye were the two bodies hanging from the tree in our front yard.

  I desperately hoped the TV van and the bodies weren’t connected.

  Trying to ignore our new lawn decorations, I strolled through the front door as if nothing was out of the ordinary. There had been no bodies hanging from the tree when I left for the library this morning so it had happened while I was there. I had an alibi.

  However, that didn’t help Pita or Paige or Granny Mags. Whoever was responsible, I promised myself I’d still love them and visit them in prison regularly. I’d provide money so they could buy cigarettes and shivs and whatever else inmates bought in The Big House, but I most definitely would not help them escape.

  A tall woman with long brownish red hair, wearing a very smart-looking suit, rose from the couch as I entered the library, a young man standing up next to her, raising a video camera to his eye as they watched me approach.

  Paige and Pita sat on the couch opposite the one the two guests had just risen from, while Granny Mags sat in her recliner near the fireplace, her eyes sparkling with a mischievous gleam that I didn’t like one little bit.

  I forced myself to smile politely as the woman approached, the man with the camera about five steps behind her, the little red light next to the lens letting me know we were being recorded. The woman extended her hand. I took it and shook it, trying hard to not feel self-conscious. I could handle this. I was ready for anything.

  “Hello, Penny,” the woman said, a big smile on her face. “I’m Christina Harrison. Are you ready to start the dating adventure of a lifetime?”

  Nope. I was wrong. I wasn’t ready for that.

  “I beg your pardon?” Surely I had misunderstood her, but to my credit, my smile stayed firmly in place.

  The woman laughed softly, nodding. “Yes, your grandmother was just telling me that you weren’t the one who actually applied for the show.”

  “We didn’t know anything about it,” Paige and Pita said in unison. One look at their faces showed that they might not have had anything do with this – whatever this was – but they were still loving the results.

  “What show?” I asked.

  The woman’s bright smile seemed to grow even brighter as she held her arms wide open, as if preparing to give me the hugest hug ever. “Prince of Roses.”

  I could tell she was expecting excitement, maybe me falling to my knees and crying with joy. Her eyes were locked onto me, just waiting for the thrilling moment to sink in so she’d get a reaction worthy of the camera behind her.

  “Huh?” I said.

  Her arms fell to her side, the smile dropping from her face like a lead balloon. She looked over her shoulder, making a cutting motion across her throat. “Cut, Jerry. We’ve got another one that needs coaching.” She looked back at me. “Prince of Roses. The hot reality television show that revolutionized reality TV?”

  “Oh,” I said, finally recognizing the name. “That’s the show where a lot of guys try to get a woman to accept their wedding proposal.”

  Christina rolled her eyes. “No, that’s Princess of Roses. Prince of Roses has a lot women trying to get a guy to propose to them.”

  I groaned. “Oh yeah. That show. I don’t watch it.”

  “I’m tired,” Granny Mags said suddenly, rising from her chair and leaning on her cane. “It’s time for my nap. Penny, will you be a dear and help me to my room?” She looked at me expectantly, the picture of innocence.

  I glanced at Paige and Pita. They both shrugged, looking as confused as I felt.

  “Ummm… sure, Granny.” Not really knowing what to expect, I escorted her to the stairs. Everything seemed to be going really well and I started thinking Granny had finally decided to play nice when others were around. I really should’ve known better.

  As we reached the stairs, she turned to look at me, and the look in her eyes sent a chill down my spine. “Remember the brownies?” Granny asked.

  My mind went blank. Brownies? What in the world was she talking about? And then I remembered. We recently had a murderer as a guest at the Inn, and Granny Mags hadn’t been thrilled about it so she handled the situation in a way befitting the mother of Dracula. It had taken a lot of scrubbing to get the stains out of the carpet.

  Unfortunately, Granny didn’t care about witnesses so it had been up to me and my sisters to make sure the guests had something to do besides discover that vampires were real, and that something had been going to the kitchen and eating a fresh batch of brownies that Pita had made for her. Payback time had apparently arrived.

  “Technically,” I said, “Anthony was the one who suggested the brownies.” No, I wasn’t too proud to throw our human employee under the bus. Not when dealing with Granny Mags.

  Granny snorted. “You hired him, and that makes you responsible for the decisions he makes.” She glanced back towards the library, smiling and nodding at Christina who was still watching us. “You’re going to do this stupid show, and you’re going to act like you like it, and maybe – just maybe – you’ll learn to not give away things that don’t belong to you.”

  I bit my tongue on any argument that sprang to mind as Granny began the slow climb up the stairs, making it look a lot more difficult than it was since she knew she had an audience. Any arguing would simply make her dig in harder, and that was the last thing I wanted.

  I took a deep breath and headed back to the library. Christina watched my return, her expression anxious. “I’m sorry if there’s been some type of misunderstanding but I’m sure we can work something out. If you’d just –”

  I held up a hand, forcing a smile on my face. “It’s fine… and I’d be thrilled to be on your show.”

  Christina visibly relaxed as the cameraman – Jerry – raised the camera to his eye. She threw her arms wide again, her smile bright enough to light a small city. “Penny Dreadful, are you ready to start the dating adventure of a lifetime?”

  I looked at the camera and smiled. I’m sure there were worse fates than this. At the moment, I couldn’t think of any of them.

  Chapter 3

  “So you can’t get out of it at all?” Pita asked.

  I shook my head as Paige returned from the kitchen with a silver tray tasked with the very important job of carrying three coffee mugs. I quickly snatched one. Caffeine wouldn’t make the problem go away but it would make me feel better.

&
nbsp; “Nope,” I said. “Not unless I want to risk something even worse from Granny.”

  “Well, don’t do that,” Paige said, taking a seat next to Pita as she sat the tray on the coffee table. “There are worse things than being fully booked.”

  I glanced around as some of the women I had seen at the library moved around the Inn, pointing out various parts of the décor, like the crow popping out of the cuckoo clock and the bat designs etched into the wooden handrails of the stairs leading up to the second floor. No, it was definitely good to be fully booked, especially since the murder of the librarian had made national news and put a slight damper on the tourist industry.

  But it was odd that Paige was excited about being fully booked. Pita was apparently thinking along the same lines. She exchanged a look with me as she took a sip of her coffee. We both knew Paige wasn’t exactly a people person so her being happy about a lot of people being around was strange. No. It was more than strange. It was suspicious.

  “All those people,” Pita said, “and we can’t even take a little nibble from any of them.”

  “Yeah,” I added, following her lead, “and they’ll probably be here for a little while. After all, the show is… how long?”

  “Two months,” Paige said quickly, a slight pink blush coloring her cheeks when she noticed us looking at her.

  I glanced at Pita. “That was a very quick answer, wasn’t it?”

  Pita grinned. “Yeah. Very quick. Makes a girl wonder why her sister, a sister who’s not into mushy stuff, would know this.”

  Paige looked at the coffee mug in her hands, unable to look either of us in the eye. She mumbled something neither of us caught.

  “What was that?” I asked.

  “I can’t help it,” Paige said. “The endless fighting, the backstabbing, the heartbreak.” She smiled. “It’s wonderful.”

  “Don’t forget the bit about finding true love,” I added.

  Paige frowned. “Yeah, there’s that, too. Occasionally. Not all the time, though, thankfully.”