The Darkest Joy

by Dahlia Rose

  "Caim, what's wrong?” Bliss reached out to touch him, but he stepped back and shook his head. She let her hand drop in alarm.

  "I have to go,” he whispered brokenly.

  "Why?” Bliss asked, fearing the answer.

  He raised his eyes to hers, and she saw unshed tears glistening in his gaze. “There is so much I have to tell, so much..."

  His shoulders dropped as if he carried the weight of the world. He tried to move past her, and on instinct, she threw her arms around his waist and held on tight.

  For a moment, it stopped his steps, and he pressed kisses into her hair. “Your hair always smells like honeysuckle, no matter how many times I am close to you...” With those words he stepped through the door and closed it behind him.

  Your hair always smells like honeysuckle. His words echoed in her mind. He said it as if he spent every day close to her. She opened the door in a rush to race down the hall, to ask him what he meant. She looked up and down the long corridor, looking for his back going down the hall, but he was already gone. Bliss stepped back into her office and closed the door with trembling fingers. She moved to her desk, sat heavily onto the soft chair, and laid her head on the desk. They were so many questions swirling through her mind. He is in trouble. She could feel it. She laid on the cool surface of her desk with thought after thought bombarding her mind. Bliss reached out, took the black feather from its crystal vase holder, and began to rub it against her chin.

  * * * *

  Caim phased to the down world, which he abhorred. After being with Bliss, the smell of the sulfur felt like it was choking him. He was not in the mood to be there, he never was, but being pulled away from Bliss made it all the more unbearable. He passed Qemuel, who was pulling one of his newest torments toward his wall. The demon gave him a toothy grin showing the jagged teeth as he passed. The man he was dragging was begging for mercy. Caim shoved the black marble doors that lead to Samael's lair, which caused them to make a harsh grating sound against the stone floor. Belial was at his desk, and his evil sneer grew twice the size when he saw Caim stride through the doors.

  "Did I pull you away from something, dear boy?"

  "Fuck you.” Caim scowled at his nemesis.

  Belial pretended to be shocked. “Such harsh words coming from your lips, it has to be something good. Care to share the pussy that obviously has you in such a bad mood?"

  Caim moved across the room in a flash. When he slammed his hands down on the table, it shook. “Demon, one of these days, I am going to rip your tail off and beat you with it."

  "Be careful, Caim. Your horns are showing,” Belial said softly, but there was an evil light in his eyes.

  Caim reached up, and sure enough, two sharp tips were trying to break though the skin on his forehead. No! he thought wildly. He closed his eyes and calmed his breathing, feeling the heat of his breath against his nostrils. It was demon fire trying to claim him. He couldn't let that happen. He kept repeating the words in his head. Anger is the enemy. If I give in, it will claim my soul. His anger was the thing that got him banished from heaven, and now he was caught here in hell. If he gave in, he would become something dark, something that was worse than death in his mind, a demon. Then his love for Bliss would mean nothing. He would be nothing. He opened his eyes, stood, and stepped away from Belial's desk.

  "Do you have a pickup for me?” Caim asked slowly while he controlled his emotions.

  "Hmm, such a pity.” Belial smiled, and for an instant, his true face could be seen before he put back on his human mask. “I was hoping to be the one who finally ruined the one small part of your soul you kept. Can't you feel it, Caim? It's eating away inside you, bit by bit, taking the one pure spot you hold on to like a cancer eating human tissue. Soon, you will be just like us."

  "I will never be like you, Belial. I do my job, and that is all he will never have of me,” Caim said vehemently. “Now where do I go?"

  "The dark master asked for you to pick this one up personally. He wanted his best on the job."

  Belial's smile told him one thing. He was going to hate having to do this contract. He snatched it from the demon's claws and walked out the door without another word. As he phased out of the demon realm to go collect the Devil's due, he opened the contract and sniffed the blood signature. It brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't do this much longer. To Caim it was torture being a fallen angel who retained his soul.

  * * * *

  The man had sold his soul for his family. It was one of the worst. He knew Belial sent him out to take this soul on purpose. There was no one to complain to. It was hell, after all. If you didn't do your job, your punishment was unlike anything imaginable. He stood outside the house, and he could feel the alternative protection they tried to put in place to keep him out. Spells and charms, even a salt ring around the entire house. But they didn't understand these methods were to keep full demons and the Devil's dogs out. He still retained the good inside him, so these charms did nothing to keep him out. He shook his head sadly and phased into the house where the man sat clutching his wife's hand. Their eyes widened in terror when they saw him standing there in silence.

  "You can't have him!” His wife jumped up from next to her husband, clutching a Bible and then throwing it at him, hoping the sanctified words would hurt him and cause him to leave. “He has children! We need him!"

  "I cannot do anything for your plea. He made his choice,” Caim said softly. He picked up the Bible off the floor, and even as it burned his hands, he handed it back to her. “You should let me take him. You do not want someone else to come in my place, someone who will hurt you or your children, or for the Devil to send his dogs."

  The man stood tiredly. “I am ready to go."

  "No!” his wife screamed. She fell to her knees and crawled to Caim. She grabbed his pants and looked up at him with tears streaming down her face and a plea in her eyes. Her words came out in between sobs that broke Caim's heart. “Please, please don't take him. I love him so much!"

  "Darling, darling, there is nothing he can do. He is just a messenger.” He pulled his wife to her feet and held her in his arms, kissing away her tears. “I love you, and even in hell, I will continue to love you.” He turned to Caim and said softly, “I am ready to go."

  Caim nodded silently and watched as the woman collapsed on the sofa in tears, her broken screams of despair muffled in the pillow. What could he say? He was the fallen angel that came to take her husband's soul. The only thing that came to mind was, “I'm sorry.” With that, he took the soul from the man's body and left his empty shell crumpled on the floor. He phased out from their home with sobs echoing in his head and took the new soul to its anguish.

  Qemuel met him with such glee that it made Caim want to snatch the soul away and run with it topside, to take the poor man back to his home, his wife and children, and safety. But it could not be done. The punishment for a person who sold their soul for love was ten times worse than anything that could be dispensed in certain parts of the underworld. It was hell. Here, evil deeds and sin in humans were rewarded. The psychopaths, the sadists, the world's degenerates lived like kings while people who didn't know better or tried to save their families were used as fodder, and their suffering was great.

  "Something wrong, fallen one?” Qemuel sneered. “Is the job too much for you? Belial said you were having a hard time of it. Maybe a few thousand years chained to my walls would help harden you up."

  "I'm fine. Take your new charge, demon, and stay out of my way.” Caim's tone was neutral as ever. He could never let them see how this place affected him.

  Qemuel's big hands gripped the head of his new soul. His talons dug into the tender flesh of his scalp, which caused the man to scream in pain and blood to drip from the wounds as he was dragged across the floor. Caim watched this new soul be taken for processing and then an eternity of damnation. He knew eventually the man would become as sick and dark as the place he dwelled. The filth and the degrading acts of the Devi
l's home would seep into him. Whatever love he claimed he would hold on to for his wife would be lost. Caim had watched it all happen before, and it never got easier. It was happening to him as well. He fought a never-ending internal battle to retain the spark of good left in him and to not let it be corroded by the vileness of hell. He left the underworld, the smell of sulfur, rot, and death, and went back topside to gulp in the fresh, clean air. While he was gone, the rain had begun to fall in Merry. He sank to the wet earth, and his fingers dug through the grass, into the soil.

  He looked up to the heavens with tears streaming down his face. “Why! Please, why can't you see that I am sorry? I ask for your forgiveness!"

  But he knew that there would be no answer. In a thousand years, there never was. Caim slapped his hands down into the soft earth over and over while sobbing for all the souls he had taken to hell, sobbing for the tears he had seen people shed. In the darkness, he heard a voice say one thing that helped him regain part of his composure. The tears you shed help you keep your soul alive. Find your joy in the darkness, Caim. It is your only hope. His joy in the darkness, his Bliss. Caim got up from the sodden earth and began to walk to the one place that could bring him comfort in the turmoil. He didn't need directions. She was like a homing beacon, a light that always drew him to her. He knocked on her door a minute later. She opened the door with the chain still attached.

  "Caim!” Her eyes widened when she saw him standing there in the rain.

  "I need ... I need you, Bliss.” His voice was broken with emotion. “Please."

  She closed the door, and he heard the chain slide from the latch. The door opened quickly, and she pulled him inside and into her arms even though he was dripping wet from the rain.

  "Oh, Caim, you're shivering, baby. Come on.” She pulled him along into her bedroom, and Caim looked down to see that he was leaving a wet trail on her hardwood floor. She said nothing as she undressed him, and he let her. She dried his skin and seated him down on her bed before she climbed behind him to dry his hair. His nakedness was not a concern at that point. He could feel her wanting to soothe what hurt inside him.

  "I'm so tired, my love, so very tired,” Caim said softly under her ministrations. Bliss murmured words of comfort as she let her fingers and the towel do the work. Caim felt his shoulders relax, and Bliss gently pushed him back onto the bed. He didn't protest. She pulled the blankets out from under him and covered him up to his neck before she climbed in beside him and brought him into the cradle of her arms once more.

  He let his hands wrap around the curves of her body, her warmth seeping into him, taking away the cold of the rain and in his heart. “I can't do it anymore, Bliss. I need to escape the darkness. Please help me. I can't do it without you."

  "Shh, darling, just sleep now. We'll figure it out tomorrow.” Bliss kissed his cheek gently.

  "Say I have you, Bliss. Say you'll be mine. I can't leave the dark without you lighting my path,” he groaned. For the first time in years, Caim felt the calm of sleep begin to overtake him and cloud his mind. No matter how tired he was, he could never find rest, until now in the arms of his love.

  "You have me, Caim. Now sleep, sweetheart,” Her tone soothed him. She kept whispering and talking to him, speaking of nothing important, just letting her voice take him away. He fell asleep listening to her heartbeat, and even though it rained and thundered outside, he found peace in the middle of the storm.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter Five

  Caim woke to her caress. He felt the featherlight touches of her fingers run across the muscles of his arms and down his shoulders. Her touch trailed down the expanse of his chest and down to the muscles of his abdomen. Under her gentle caress, he felt his desire began to simmer. Caim kept his eyes closed and enjoyed the feel of her fingers running across his body. His breath caught, and his cock hardened when her hands traveled lower than they should. He stifled the urge to moan and beg her to stroke the place that ached.

  "You're awake, aren't you?” He could hear the laugh in her throaty voice.

  "Yes, I am.” Caim still had his eyes closed, but he felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips.

  "Do you want me to stop?” Bliss's tongue flicked at his earlobe.

  "That is not even a question. Of course I don't want you to stop.” The events of last night plagued him. “Bliss, about last night, I need to talk to you about it."

  She stopped his words with a kiss. “Not right now, Caim. Let's keep the world outside just a little bit longer."

  Caim draped his hands around the smooth skin of her neck and pulled her into his kiss. Their lips met in fierce intensity that wiped everything but her from his thoughts. He pulled her across his body so that he could feel her entire body on top of him. He stroked and caressed her curves. He murmured against her lips. “Are you sure about this? You can still change your mind."

  In response, she reached up and kissed him softly on the lips. His eyes drifted closed when she took over the kiss. Caim fanned the flames of desire as he slowly memorized each inch of her naked skin. Bliss's fingers shook a little when she held on to his muscled shoulders. Her skin felt hot, and he loved the way she shivered while he trailed his fingers up her rib cage to cup her breasts. A gasp of pleasure escaped her as he plucked the sensitive tips. Caim moaned when her leg lifted slowly over his thighs. He could feel her press more intimately against his cock.

  He rolled, suddenly pressing her into the soft bed, his long, lean body on top of hers, settling between her smooth thighs. Bliss arched in pleasure when he kissed and licked her neck. The combination of her body under his and her tongue licking his shoulder was sending delicious frissons of pleasure along the nerves in his body. Caim reached and captured her hands. Twining his long fingers with hers, he held them above her head. This is how it felt to be loved by a woman, to feel a connection that nothing could break. His senses were filled with her. Every sound she made drove him to the brink of madness.

  He lowered his head to suck her nipples into his mouth. “Heaven, you taste like heaven."

  "Caim,” she moaned his name softly. “Please, more."

  She raised her hips and pressed against his hard cock, which was rigid between her thighs. Caim's breath hissed though his teeth when he felt the wetness of her pussy against the tip of his shaft. He rolled her suddenly, pulled her on top him, and buried his hands in her hair. The kiss turned wild and untamed. Their tongues mated sensually. It was the edge of desperation Bliss couldn't wait any longer to feel him. She took his hard length in her hands and slowly took him inch by inch until he was buried deeply inside her.

  "Oh God, baby, you don't know how good this feels,” Bliss panted.

  He looked at her arched above him like a statuesque goddess with the sunlight bathing her back.

  "I have never felt this before.” Caim closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as pleasure infused him. “Move on me, my love. Let me feel you."

  She gladly obliged, teasing him with the slow movements. He could feel her pussy, wet, warm, and wrapped around him. Each time she let her velvet sex slide onto his hard manhood, he throbbed inside her. She rocked against him, torturing him, making him ache for more until he couldn't stand it.

  "My turn,” Caim said suddenly and flipped her under him once more. He pushed into her velvet sex, pounding into her deeply with every thrust. Her body shuddered under his onslaught. Caim could hear the tiny sounds of pleasure that came from her merging with the manly moans and harsh breaths that escaped his lips. He never knew he could feel this amount of rapture, the pure heat and joy of being with a mate. He slipped his hands under her hips and pulled her more firmly under him. Bliss wrapped her legs around him, and he felt her hips lift into each of his thrusts.

  "More, Caim, I need more of you!” She gasped out in pleasure. Her fingers gripped his hair as they traveled to dizzying heights. “I'm going to come. Please don't let me fall alone!"

  "Oh my, Bliss, I'm here with you, all the way
. Let us fall together. Let go with me!” Caim encouraged. He felt his body reaching for new heights, and for an instant, it felt as if he were soaring with the angels once more. Her soft, low cry of release and the shudders of her body signaled her orgasm. His body was taut above her as he spilled himself inside her with a guttural moan. Caim couldn't stop touching her. His hands roamed and touched every expanse of skin he could find. His heartbeat tried to slow to a normal rhythm.

  Caim lifted his head and looked at her. Then, he rolled to his side and pulled her next to him without even breaking contact. “I have never felt anything like that in my entire existence."

  Bliss giggled. “You make yourself sound so old, Caim."

  "I am older than you think,” Caim said softly. “It feels as if I have waited forever to feel this way."

  "Caim, I have waited all my life for this one perfect moment."

  "I think I am crazy in love with you,” he murmured and kissed the top of her head.

  "I don't know how or why. It has just been a few days.” Bliss laughed as if she was amazed. “But I have fallen completely and madly in love with you too."

  "There are some things I have to tell you, Bliss, about me and my life. Things you need to know,” Caim explained. He felt a terrible trepidation in his heart that she might turn away from him when she knew. But it had to be done for him to be human.

  "Not right now, Caim, please. Let's just have a little more time."

  Bliss poked him in his ribs and giggled. She pressed soft kisses to his chest. Caim let himself be swayed. It was only for a little while longer. He wrapped his arms around her and tickled her in return. Her squeals of delight caused him to smile, and for the first time in a long time, he could feel his own laughter rumble in his chest. I'll talk to her later. I will tell her all, he promised as he filled his senses with the scent of honeysuckle in her hair.

  * * * *