Perfectly Unexpected

by Brandy Michelle

  Richard parks his car, and shutting off the ignition, he turns to me. “Ready?”

  I close my eyes and take a deep, calming breath. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  An older lady sitting at the front counter welcomes us, and she and Richard have a quick chat, clearly knowing each other well. I know many of the attorneys and paralegals frequently visit the jail to see clients, but this is a first for me. Not only that, I am here because of my sister, not just some client.

  The lady—introduced to me as Nancy—escorts us to an interview room with pity in her eyes. I take a seat in the hard chair and scan the room, taking note of where the trash can is located in case I toss my cookies.

  “I’m going to step out and talk to the state’s attorney. They should be bringing Lynne in any minute now. Do you want me here, or would you like a few minutes alone with her?”

  “You can go ahead,” I answer, looking up from my spot.

  Richard rests a hand on my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “If you need anything, I will be right outside.”

  “Thank you, Richard.”

  He leaves the room, and I allow the quiet to swallow me up. I’m not sure how much time passes before the door opens and my sister is being led into the room by a uniformed officer. She is dressed in a bright orange jumpsuit, and her hands are cuffed together in the front. Her eyes stay focused on the floor, and she doesn’t look up until she moves to sit in the chair on the other side of the table from me. If I thought she looked bad that day at the mall, that is nothing compared to the ghost of a person sitting before me.

  I give the officer a nod of thanks, and he exits the room, leaving the two of us sitting in silence. Her cheeks look more sunken in than before, and the dark circles around her eyes only make it look worse. The sores on her face have multiplied, leaving very little of her skin untouched.

  “I was told I would be meeting with a lawyer.” She does her best to avoid making eye contact with me by looking down at the table or around the room.

  “My boss is an attorney. He stepped out so we would have a moment to talk.”

  “I can’t afford a lawyer, so you might want to tell him that he is wasting his time.”

  “What …” I begin, my voice cracking. I clear my throat before continuing. “What did you do?”

  “When you talk about me with Jane, can you leave some of the bad stuff out? I know I don’t deserve it, but for her sake, don’t tell her how terrible of a mother I am.”

  “What happened, Lynne?” I ask, trying again for an answer.

  “When I found out I was pregnant, I thought for once that things were going to go right with my life. I had this whole daydream in my head. Patrick would be over the moon with the news and would finally tell me how he was in love with me. We would get married and find a house in a nice neighborhood where we would raise our baby.” She stops, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I never wanted this for Jane. I never wanted to become this person, but after Patrick died, everything fell apart. I tried to do my best for Jane, but I was just too weak. He made me stronger, and when he left, I fell apart. Staying clean during my pregnancy was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did it because she was the last piece of Patrick I had left.”

  I wipe away my own fallen tears, and at a loss for words, I wait for her to continue because I get the feeling she isn’t finished yet.

  “She was three days old when I went back to using. Mom found me passed out while Jane was screaming her lungs out. When she finally woke me up, I had been out for four hours, and Jane was starving. Mom couldn’t tell me enough times how much of a shitty mother I was and that I should just give the baby to you.” She laughs sarcastically and finally brings her eyes to mine for just a moment. “I wasn’t good enough for Patrick, and apparently, I wasn’t good enough for our baby, but you, perfect Brenna, were all deserving. He only wanted you, and as soon as she was old enough to speak, his daughter only wanted you.”

  “You’re wrong about Patrick,” I say, and her gaze snaps to mine. “I wasn’t enough for him. I wasn’t enough for him to leave that life behind because I tried, so hard. I cried and begged him, but he didn’t choose me.”

  I still can remember the look in his bloodshot eyes the day he told me that he wasn’t coming with me. I could see the struggle in them as he continued to push me away with all his hurtful words. Of course, I knew it was the drugs talking from my many years of experience when it came to my childhood, but it didn’t make the pain any less.

  “He was always yours, and it’s fitting that the little girl who shares his blood would feel the same way. I want to resent you for it. For both of their undying love, but I can’t because I feel the same way. I always looked up to you and wanted to be you. Where I have always been weak, you have been nothing but strong. I hope that Jane grows up to be just like you, Brenna. I know you will be a great role model and mold her into the person I could never be.”

  I get a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Why does this sound like a goodbye, Lynne?”

  “Because it is. The things I’ve done … there is no coming back from it. I don’t regret it because it was the only way to keep my daughter safe. I know I have been a shit mother for the past four years, but I am making up for it. Jane is safe now and can grow up having the life she deserves. You will keep her, right? Don’t let her end up in foster care, please.” She sets her cuffed hands on the table, leaning closer.

  I clasp her hands with my own. “Of course, I will take care of her, but you are really starting to scare me. What did you do? Just tell me.”

  “The guy who attacked you, Vincent, I went to see him. I owed him a lot of money, and there was no way I would ever be able to cover it, but I hoped we could work something out and he would leave you alone. He had you guys followed. There were hundreds of pictures of you and Jane. Your boyfriend too. And he told me in extensive detail the horrible things he would do to you all before he killed you.”

  A sharp gasp escapes as I inhale and a chill coats my skin. I am briefly taken back to that night when he attacked me in the parking lot. I can almost feel his breath against my neck, causing a sickening feeling in my stomach. To think that someone had been following me and had pictures of not only me, but Jane and Logan as well, gave me the creeps.

  “You’re still not answering my question,” I say, squeezing her hands.

  “I did the only thing I could in order to keep you all safe. I killed him.”

  Everything stops.

  Time.

  My heart.

  “You what?” a voice I don’t even recognize as my own manages to ask.

  “If it meant keeping my daughter safe, I would do it all over again. I have made a lifetime of bad decisions—many of which I wish I could take back—but I will never regret doing what I had to do to protect my family.”

  The door opens, and Richard walks in with a folder in hand. His eyes skate back and forth between Lynne and me as he walks toward the table.

  “Hello, Lynne. My name is Richard Welch, and I am here to represent you.” He stretches a hand out, but she doesn’t lift hers.

  “I told Brenna, and I will tell you the same. I can’t afford a lawyer. They will appoint me a public defender.”

  “Payment isn’t an issue. No offense to the public defenders, but you will need someone with more experience to help with your charges. I spoke with the state’s attorney, and she told me that you signed a confession? Why would you do that without seeking counsel first?”

  “Because I did it. I was found with the knife in my hand and his blood covering my clothes. I did what I did, and now I will take my punishment.”

  Not a single ounce of remorse carries in her tone, and the thought of her killing someone and not feeling regret twists my stomach even more. My eyes flick over to the trash can, and I debate whether I can keep the contents of my stomach down or if I should empty it now. Of all the possibilities that ran through my head when Richard told me my sister
was arrested, the last thing I ever expected to hear was that she murdered someone.

  “Lynne, please let Richard help you,” I beg.

  She shakes her head, concealing any emotion. “I would like to sign over my parental rights. I know that once the charges come, they are going to terminate them anyway, but I would like to voluntarily do it. Brenna has gone through enough trouble with everything that I would like to try to make this a little easier for her.” She speaks to Richard almost as if I wasn’t sitting directly in front of her.

  “I can get the papers drawn up as soon as I get back to the office. Again, I want to offer my services to you. While I am unable to get the charges dropped with the signed confession and stacked evidence, I can work to get a lesser sentence.”

  “Thank you, but I will take my chances with the appointed lawyer.” She turns her attention back to me with tears streaming down her cheeks. “You will be a great mom, Brenna. Give her the world because she is mine.”

  “I will. She’s my world too,” I say, followed by a sob.

  “I know.” She stands from her seat and signals to the camera in the corner. “I will sign those papers as soon as you have them,” she says to Richard. “Thank you, Brenna, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be saved.”

  I move from my chair, the metal legs scraping against the hard floor when I shove it back. Making my way around the table, I throw my arms around my sister and hold her tight as we sob together.

  “We will figure something out, Lynne. This isn’t the end.”

  “It is, sissy,” she says, breaking my heart as she calls me a name I haven’t heard since we were small children. “At least for me, but this is just the beginning for you and Jane.”

  The door opens with the officer’s arrival, and Lynne pulls out of my embrace. She smiles sadly and turns away, walking out of the room.

  I stand unmoving, just staring at the now closed door. I can feel his presence behind me, and when his hand touches my shoulder, I fall apart. Turning, I fall into Richard’s arms and lose all control of my emotions. Even with the best attorney, there would be no way Lynne could walk away from what she’s done. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that my little sister has committed murder. And poor Jane, how do I tell her that she will not see her mother again?

  Once I have released my last bit of tears, I pull myself out of Richard’s hold. He peers down at me with sympathy in his eyes and hands me the handkerchief from his jacket pocket.

  “How about we get out of here?” he suggests, and all I can do is nod my head.

  He leads me out of the interview room and down the hall toward the main entrance. Each step I take is harder than the last because it is taking me farther and farther from Lynne. I wish I had more time with her. I wish I could go back in time and force her to better her life and keep her away from all the drugs and bad influences that have led her to here.

  Reaching the lobby, I finally lift my gaze and take off running at the sight of Logan. He meets me halfway, wrapping his arms tightly around me, and I pull from his strength to keep myself from breaking down again.

  “I am so sorry, babe. I came as soon as I heard,” he says into my ear as he rubs my back. “It kills me to know I can’t do anything to make this better. I feel so helpless knowing I can’t take your pain away.”

  My arms squeeze tighter around his neck, and I lift my head from his shoulder. “You being here is everything I need.”

  Coming into this today, I thought I would be able to handle it on my own. Prove to myself that I was capable, but it wasn’t until I saw Logan standing in the lobby that I realized how much I truly need him.

  His lips press against my forehead. “Let’s go home.”

  Keeping me secured to his side, he walks me out of the building and through the parking lot until we reach the Range Rover. I slide into the passenger seat and go through the motions of buckling in when all I feel is the numbness left inside me.

  Logan stands outside the car, speaking with his uncle before we leave. The ride to the house is a silent one, but his hand never leaves mine, and that’s all I need at the moment.

  * * *

  We spend the next couple of hours together, some of it talking and some of it just holding one another. Richard is going to do what he can to help my sister out even though she has refused his counsel. Once we learn who the court appoints as her public defender, he plans to set up a meeting and work together on her case.

  I put a call into our case manager from Child Services and explained the new situation to her. She recommends setting up an appointment to take Jane to a counselor, which is something she mentioned when we first met. With Lynne volunteering to sign over her parental rights, our next step is adoption, and the case manager informed me that she plans to write a glorious letter of recommendation for me.

  While a part of me wants to jump for joy knowing that Jane will always be safe and can be mine, I am also hurting for my sister. I mean, how terrible is it for me to even be feeling an ounce of happiness when I know she will be serving many years in prison over her actions. She made a choice that put our lives before hers, and now she will suffer the consequences while we celebrate our lives out here.

  “Hey, are you ready to go get Jane? We can stop for pizza.”

  I glance up at the clock on the wall and can’t believe how long we have been sitting here on the couch. It is already an hour past the time I would normally pick Jane up, and although I am positive Gabby is aware of what happened today, I still feel guilty for leaving her there longer than usual.

  “Yeah. I just want to change and then we can go.”

  “Okay, babe.”

  Slipping out of my dress from work, I pull on a pair of leggings and tunic, and sliding on my sandals, I meet Logan in the kitchen. He had already changed when we arrived home earlier, but I got as far as the couch and hadn’t left until now.

  A few short minutes later, we pull up in Trevor and Gabby’s driveway and park in front of their garage. When the door opens and we enter the house, Jane’s singsong voice echoes off the walls.

  “BrennBrenn!” She comes bouncing down the hall and jumps into my arms.

  “Hey, sweetie. Did you have a good day?”

  “Yes!” she exclaims. Looking to my side, she holds her arms out. “Logan!”

  She leaps from me to Logan, her face beaming with a smile. Not knowing the dark cloud that covers the day.

  “Brenna, do you guys want to stay for dinner?” Gabby asks, pulling me into a hug.

  “Thank you, but we are going to go out for pizza.”

  Logan walks away with Jane to round up her stuff, leaving me and Gabby to talk in private.

  “How are you?”

  I run my fingers through my hair. “Honestly, I don’t know.”

  “Fair enough,” she responds. “You know I am here if you need anything.”

  “Thank you, Gabby. Your friendship means the world to me.”

  “Hey, we’re practically family now,” she says, bumping her hip into mine.

  I laugh a real genuine laugh for the first time today, and it’s surprisingly refreshing.

  “How have you been doing? Still getting sick?” I ask, trying to focus on more positive things, and her growing baby is the best way.

  “Today actually wasn’t that bad. I felt nauseous this morning, but nothing as bad as yesterday. My pregnancy with TJ started out a lot like this one, and I was sick for almost six months straight.”

  “Well, I hope that doesn’t happen this time around. It sounds horrible.” I scrunch up my face just thinking about her discomfort and wonder if all pregnancies are this rough.

  She laughs and lays a hand on her still flat stomach. “Some days are worse than others, but when you hold your baby for the very first time, nothing else matters. All the sickness and pain you may experience are worth it. The feeling you get once you bring a sweet, innocent little baby into this world and know that you created it and it’s equal parts you and the man yo
u love; that is the greatest thing in the world.”

  “Now, that makes it sound amazing.”

  “I have a feeling that you will know soon enough.”

  Before I respond and tell her that’s crazy because it’s way too soon, Logan and Jane come around the corner, and my ovaries explode. Logan has always been handsome to me since the first time I saw him, but seeing the way he cares for my niece puts his sexiness on an entirely new level.

  “Ready?” he asks with Jane’s bag in one hand and her little palm in his other.

  “Yes. I am starving. How about you?” I ask Jane.

  “Pizza! Pizza!” She jumps up and down with her arm in the air, flapping her blanket around in the air.

  “All right. Well, you guys have a good evening. Brenna, I am always a phone call away.”

  I embrace Gabby in another hug. “Thank you.”

  * * *

  The restaurant is busy, but luckily, we get a table right away. Jane chooses her normal spot sitting in the booth with Logan, and I take my seat on the other side. We order pizza and cheese bread along with a large chocolate chip cookie to split after dinner.

  As soon as the food arrives, I think our eyes might have been larger than our stomachs, but to my surprise, we clear out most of it. By the time we pay and head out, I am on the verge of exploding and couldn’t be more thankful that I wore stretchy leggings.

  Getting back to the house, we all change into our pajamas and pile onto the couch to watch a movie. I relax back into Logan and pull Jane into my arms, feeling like I have everything I need right here on the sofa.

  Jane settles further into my lap as the movie trails on, hugging her blanket. “Love you, BrennBrenn.”

  “I love you too, sweet angel,” I say, running a hand through her soft hair, and a few minutes later, I hear the soft sounds of her snores.

  We stay in this position a little while longer until my eyes begin to grow heavy and I start dozing off as well. The exhaustion from the day is finally catching up to me. Standing with Jane in my arms, I carry her into her room with Logan following close behind. He pulls the covers back so I can lay her down on the mattress where she snuggles into her pillow. With a kiss on her head, I pull the blankets over her, and we leave the room.