Carnal Beginnings: A dark romantic suspense (Carnal Series Book 1)

by Reily Garrett

  With dread in her heart, she watched him pull out a handkerchief and stoop to pick up what looked like a slab of meat. He gave it a cautious sniff while tilting his head, then holding the chunk away from his body. Minutes later, Nika trailed him through the kitchen door.

  “What’s that?”

  “Looks like we had a visitor sometime early this morning. They left Nika a nasty present…” The snap of the cabinet door closing made her jump. Very carefully, he placed the raw steak in a plastic bag. “Thank God she’s trained to not eat anything she finds…I don’t know what it’s laced with. I’ll get Conner to pick it up and send it to the lab.”

  The evidence of their morning’s intruder looked innocent enough, yet life had taught her to look beneath the surface. With each passing hour, she appreciated not just her newfound freedom, but the people and dog that accompanied the new life. Someone considered Nika a threat. “How long will it take to identify the drug?”

  “Couple of days.” Julien’s tight expression matched the anger in her heart. His subsequent phone conversation with Conner proved brief and to the point.

  True to his word, Julien began her self-defense training with a mile-long combination run-walk down the beach. Two sets of footprints beside one set of dog prints etched the wet sand, temporary evidence of her new family. After the early afternoon discovery, she realized how easily everything could be washed away.

  When they returned, the bag of meat on the counter had been replaced with Conner’s note.

  “Your brother got here fast.” Acid corroded her stomach at the thought of anything happening to Nika.

  “He lives fairly near. Ready for the next phase of training?”

  The exercise room was more of a dojo with an American slice of workout room in the back. Black tape marked off a large square in the center.

  “My brothers usually come over on the weekends if it’s nasty outside, and we spar in here. Let’s get started.”

  His teaching style exuded patience, not to mention thorough explanations of the moves. He wanted her to know not just how to kick someone’s ass but the reasoning behind where to hit, the best timing, and why. He watched her mimic his movements, first evaluating her form, then giving her a target.

  “Each time you throw a flurry of strikes, see it in your mind’s eye. Visualize not only your target, but the damage you intend to inflict. Since you’re not used to fighting back, this will help eliminate any split-second hesitation if the situation arises.” He grinned his satisfaction with her next burst of energy.

  When Julien applied hand wraps and well-padded training gloves, determination filled every crevice of her soul. The target location moved after each blow.

  Initial hits lacked energy and were tentative and soft before his encouragement and goading concentrated her will, anger, and determination through her hands. Constant chatter built her confidence and focus.

  He tailored his comments to her punches as he channeled her energy into constructive action, continually evaluating her strength and form throughout. By the end of the session, she’d found unknown muscles, a small price to pay for the strength and confidence gained. His promise to rub out the kinks later kept her going until sweat covered her skin and breaths came short.

  Tendrils of spicy aroma from grilling steaks drifted through her senses in the late afternoon as he further detailed the BDSM lifestyle. The remnants of his earlier poignancy became a memory as he warmed to his subject. Many of the culture’s facets appealed to her adventurous side. There were changes involved, natural and to be honest, exciting, increasing her desire to embrace many of the aspects, except for those dealing with whips.

  “Julien, I’m afraid of punishment. I’ve had enough to last a lifetime.”

  “Adara, you’ve not been disciplined. You’ve received abuse, plain and simple. Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin. It’s a matter of degree. I can prove it to you at the play party tonight. You can talk to some of the subs, learn what you can. If you decide to look further—we can talk more, see what you think.” His countenance grew serious before he continued.

  “This type of relationship is not undertaken lightly. There would be lengthy discussions about limits, both yours and mine, likes, dislikes, responsibilities, and tolerances. You hold all the power, letting me know what we can and cannot do.”

  “So…I can decide to not allow certain types of punishment?”

  “Absolutely. And don’t forget, there are things I refuse to do, also. I will never leave a scar or permanent mark of any kind. Adara, a relationship can be any combination of anything we both agree on.”

  He sounded so reasonable on the surface and everything experienced concerning him during the prior six months confirmed him a man of his word. He was asking for a chance to show her the difference between himself and her family. At the same time, he’d vowed to keep her safe. She wanted to please him, be with him. In counterpoint, if she turned away from him, the thought was unbearable. Day-to-day existence without Julien presented a bleak option.

  Somewhere between the sun’s westerly slide and millions of stars capping the earth, Adara firmed her decision to keep an open mind. Julien was right about her inner strength and it was time to make her own decisions, her own path. She couldn’t do that without keeping an open mind. If, in the end, she decided to walk away, it might break her heart, but it would be her decision.

  Fear comingled with excitement as she entered the great hall once again. This time, she was armed with the knowledge that she could walk away and Julien would still be there for her. She chose not to look at the wall décor until she felt stronger.

  The lights remained dim yet cozy, if she could classify such a large room with all kinds of torture implements on the walls. Soft music played in the background. If she closed her eyes, it would sound and feel like an intimate haven, not the playroom from hell.

  “Julien, glad you guys could make it. Adara, you look nice tonight.” The air of authority surrounding Nate always felt natural. Seeing the Crofton men in the current setting, she realized it wasn’t an air they adopted, more of a natural part of them. Whether dressed in leathers or casual work clothes, it was who they were.

  The sight of Julien in leathers had taken her breath away. She’d already enjoyed cursory explorations of his physique, but the open vest exposing that wonderful expanse of lightly furred, muscular chest kept her in a state of arousal. The disappearance of the happy trail below the waistband added a certain animal charisma.

  “Thank you.” She couldn’t utter more. Sudden insecurity sidled her closer to Julien as he put his arm around her shoulders.

  “Hey, Nate, would you mind if later, Adara spoke with Sherri for a bit?”

  “Sure, no problem. Why don’t you join us at our table when you’re ready?” He indicated a table across the room before ambling away.

  Adara wore another one of those outfits. One she could never wear in public. Thanks to conversations with Julien, she knew he’d never ask. Sheer dint of will controlled the urge to fidget. A few surreptitious glances revealed other women dressed in the same type of skimpy clothes, mingling as if enjoying a cocktail party.

  “Adara, remember, when you’re in here, you address a Dom as sir. Understand?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. Otherwise, you may speak freely tonight.”

  “This looks so normal…wait…tonight? As in other times I can’t speak freely?”

  “When we come in here on most nights, you won’t speak unless directed to do so. And yes, this is normal. Though you may see someone receive a spanking, any further play ends up in one of the theme rooms.”

  “Theme rooms. That’s where the scenes take place. Yes?”

  “Yes. Down either of the two hallways are rooms off to each side. Each is designed for a certain type of play.”

  “Um, okay. Is that what you want to do with me? Do they have whips in there, too?”

  “Some do, though they’re not used in the
way you’ve experienced. Remember, two sides of the coin. Lear more before making a decision.” He pulled her close to his chest, bending down to murmur in her ear, “Remember when I slapped your ass? You came. All things in moderation. All things negotiable. Remember the rules I showed you? No permanent marks. And most important, you decide your limits and I will always, always respect them.”

  “I remember, and I understand the difference in my head. It’s just when I see all those canes and stuff…”

  “I know, sweetheart. Desensitization. We’ll get there. Be patient.”

  A loud smack followed by an audible gasp made her jump and turn in his arms to find the source of the distress. On the far side of the room, Nate sat in a straight-backed chair at the end of the table. The petite blonde she’d seen earlier lay over his knees with her ass exposed. Again, he raised his hand and made contact with her cheeks using a flat-handed slap. Yet, no one else in the room seemed to even notice.

  “Oh my God. It’s Nate! He’s beating her. In public. Julien, you have to stop him.”

  “Easy, Adara, look closer. Look at Sherri’s face. She’s not in pain. What do you see?”

  Just as Julien said, a look of ecstasy on the submissive’s face belied fear or distress. Three more smacks elicited a wiggle.

  “Oh my God. She’s enjoying that? No.” Adara fidgeted under Julien’s stare. “How can she possibly enjoy that?” To her horror, she watched as Nate caressed Sherri’s bare ass before sinking two fingers between her cheeks, twisting his wrist to swirl his fingers inside.

  “He’s checking to assess her response. She’s probably soaking by now.”

  “Dear God.” Adara felt her breasts swell, her nipples harden, poking through the lace of her bra. There was a tingling sensation between her legs. “How can this happen?”

  “Adara, look at me. Now.”

  She couldn’t take her eyes off the spectacle as Nate slapped Sherri’s ass until it blushed bright pink all over.

  “Adara. Look. At. Me. Now.”

  The voice. Seconds ticked by as her mind struggled to decipher his words. Nervously she glanced at Julien. Heat crept up her neck, engulfing her face. A huge lump of dread formed in her throat.

  “Tell me what you’re feeling. Right now.”

  “F-fear.”

  “Is that all?”

  She shook her head, but couldn’t verbalize the chaotic thoughts tying her tongue.

  Silence. For the life of her, she couldn’t answer.

  Julien took her by the elbow and led her across the room and down the hall among the theme rooms.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Oh hell. Adara’s pulse hammered in her throat and blood roared in her ears. Lightheadedness, associated with Julien’s presence, pointed to the twining of excitement and trepidation. When he opened one of the doors and guided her inside, her heart stuttered. The light snapping on overhead made her jump. There was no time to look around as Julien turned her to face him.

  “Adara, you can accept a spanking or tell me no. Do you want me to stop?”

  A part of her wanted to feel the bliss he’d already shown her while adding another layer. She shook her head, but her mind rebelled.

  “As much as I want you naked, I’m not going to take the time to strip you. Your mental gremlins add too much fodder to your imagination.”

  He simply backed her up until he could sit in the chair on the side of the room. She squealed when he pulled her across his lap—no, his left leg. When she tried to get up, he proved ready, putting one leg over both hers in a scissor motion, with one hand splayed between her shoulder blades. She couldn’t move.

  “Adara, this is a spanking. Tell me what you did to deserve it.”

  She gasped when he lifted her skirt and shifted her to pull down her panties. She couldn’t think. “Ah…I didn’t look at you when you told me to and didn’t answer your question.” Her heart pounded in her chest as she panted for breath. Her scrabble for the chair under him proved fruitless. His lower leg offered more substance for solid purchase. Her body squirmed without conscious thought with the conflicting emotions. The rough material of his jeans aroused her nipples through her shirt.

  “That’s correct. Tell me, do you accept your punishment? For each offense you will receive three slaps on your beautiful ass. Is that clear?”

  “Y-yes. I accept it.” Murky light gave the room an ominous quality, making its contents a blur.

  Then he shifted his knee under her, diverting her attention. Her ass ended up in the air, open, exposed. Panic exploded in her mind while she felt the blood rush to her head.

  “Yes what?”

  “Oh. Yes…sir.”

  She felt his hand caressing her ass cheek, gliding around each globe. She whimpered.

  “So fucking beautiful.” In the haze of her mind, she detected the awe in his voice. He continued to rub her skin but with more vigor.

  She groaned. Not for the first time, conflicting emotions battled for supremacy.

  There was no time to prepare. Thoughts of prior beatings from her uncle filled her with terror. “Julien…” Maybe she could bargain with him. The first slap made her jolt forward. She cried out and tried to twist her body out of his grasp, but he was stronger, holding her secure.

  “Count, Adara, or we start over.”

  “One,” she cried out, tears of humiliation forming.

  “How do you address me?”

  She cried out again as his hand made stinging contact with her other cheek. “Sir. Two, sir.” As she tried to take air into her lungs she reached back to cover her ass with her hands. He grabbed both wrists and forced them together in the small of her back. The small act completed her helplessness.

  “Interruptions like that mean we start over. Begin again with one.”

  This time when he hit her, she screamed, frustration, humiliation, fear, all boiled inside her. Her legs kicked out straight, but were held in place. Distantly, she realized her reaction was from anger, not pain.

  His hand glided over a stinging cheek before dipping down to her slit. When he rubbed the length of her folds, up and down, she felt the wetness he trailed over the crease of her thigh. He inserted a finger into her sheath, making her groan and squirm for more.

  Dear God, how can this happen?

  The absence of his fingers bothered her more than the slaps on her ass. Yet now he increased the force behind the blows. How could she be so wet? The next three smacks were in quick succession.

  “Two, three, four, sir.” Again, he caressed her cheeks bringing forth a tingling sensation that filled her entire body. His hands spread the heat just under her skin. She writhed on his lap—for more.

  She knew he’d held little back on the last two whacks, which landed on the junction of her thighs. The force jolted her forward yet stimulated her arousal to arch her back, her inner muscles clenching. She needed him to fill her.

  “Five, six, sir.” She groaned as he again put two fingers in her sheath, rotating, stretching and then curling. Several in and out motions had her hips pushing back into him, riding him. The now-familiar tightening of her muscles signaled the oncoming orgasm, and he increased his speed. The ripple progressed to contractions in her belly, unbearable. Her breasts rubbed against his leg and his erection pressed into her hip.

  “You may come, Adara.”

  She had no way to stop it.

  Her orgasm exploded with a force that seared her soul. She couldn’t hold back her guttural scream. He continued stimulating her throughout the aftermath, gently, lovingly, and then settled her on his lap. She snuggled in, confused by her emotions and the fact a spanking could arouse her.

  “Adara?”

  “Hmmm—sir?” She almost forgot.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking, right now.”

  She knew better than to hesitate yet had difficulty articulating the thoughts swirling inside her. “Um, a little hard to understand. Relief, but I don’t know why. Confused. Embarrassed.”


  “Confusion because you were aroused when I spanked you?”

  “Yes. I’ve never felt that before.”

  “Embarrassed because you feel dirty for enjoying this after what your family’s done to you?”

  “Yes. How did you—”

  “That’s because you weren’t spanked by them. They violated your trust, your mind, and your body. Do you see the difference now?”

  “I felt the difference.”

  “Ready to go out and sit on one of the sofas? I want to hold you.” His gentle caress of her face and neck soothed her jumbled emotions.

  “Can we sit for just a few more minutes?”

  “We can stay here as long as you like, sweetheart. As long as you like.”

  “What about you—sir?” His enlarged shaft pulsed against her stinging bottom.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

  “I understand now how Sherri felt physically…still, to spank her in public? To humiliate her?”

  “No. Nate would never humiliate Sherri. He knew it would excite her, though he wouldn’t have sex with her there.”

  Julien stroked her arm while his chin rested on the top of her head, making her feel loved and protected. The thought of how he’d withheld his own pleasure niggled at the back of her mind.

  “When we go back out, why don’t you talk to Sherri? I’ll take Nate over to the bar and give you two some time to speak privately.”

  Pure magic was the only thing that came to mind when in Julien’s arms, as he nuzzled and crooned softly in her ear. Without the endurance to suppress them, past experiences with her uncle and cousin floated to the surface of her mind. The differences between Julian’s intent to excite and her uncle’s need to inflict pain became blatantly obvious in the vortex of her churning emotions.

  After Julian led her to the main room, she found herself secluded with Nate’s sub. It was refreshing to find no façade erected for the men’s benefit. Sherri proved to be open, honest, and straightforward about her lifestyle choice. Instead of a somewhat empty-headed, withdrawn, or starved soul lacking strong character, she proved to be intelligent, witty, and extroverted.