What A Rogue Wants

by Julie Johnstone

  Liz shrugged. “There’s little to tell. I’m ashamed to admit I’ve been too afraid of Grace to openly befriend Lady Madelaine.”

  “Only because of Lady Grace?” he prodded.

  Liz’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re very observant. If only Father understood this.”

  “Liz,” he warned, not wanting to hear a word of how sorry she felt for him because of their father.

  “Fine. Fine. Yes, the queen too. She seems to have a virulent dislike of Lady Madelaine.”

  “Is Aunt Helen here?”

  Liz smirked at him. “I already thought of her.”

  “Really? Then why don’t you know more of Lady Madelaine?”

  “Well, I only just thought of Aunt Helen. And she only just returned to Court.”

  “Excellent. Seek her out. Alone though. Aunt Helen will know what nettles the queen. She knows all the Court secrets.”

  “I’m ahead of you for once. I requested to see Aunt Helen after she refreshes from her travels. I asked Lady Madelaine to meet me later in the hope I could impart some information that might help her or at least enlighten her.”

  “You’ve a kind heart, poppet.”

  She shook her head. “Not kind enough.” Her voice trembled. “Or I wouldn’t have been too afraid to befriend her. I feel so ashamed I’ve allowed her to be treated cruelly. How lonely she must be, friendless here at Court.”

  That would probably make Grey’s intention of getting the lady into his bed easier, but somehow that seemed like little accomplishment to win a woman because she was desperate not to feel alone. Instead of feeling any lust, his blood stirred toward anger. “There’s no shame having been scared, but now you need to learn to be brave. It will serve you better.”

  “As it serves you?”

  She didn’t say their father’s name, and Grey was grateful for that. “Yes. As it serves me. Let’s go in now, so you can see Aunt Helen. She won’t mind you arriving early.”

  “Do you want to come?”

  “I have to see the king. But I’ll find you later and demand a full recounting.”

  “Perhaps I’ll tell you.”

  He grinned at his sister’s unusual show of backbone. “Name your price.”

  “You must promise not to hurt Lady Madelaine. She’s been hurt enough by her treatment here at Court already.”

  “You wound me, Liz. I swear to you, I have never hurt a single lady I give my attentions to.” He went to great pains to make sure his bed partners understood neither commitment nor love were part of what he offered.

  His sister pursed her lips, but said nothing.

  “Come on.” Grey tugged on Liz’s hand. “I need to go before I earn the king’s displeasure.”

  Madelaine couldn’t afford to be a fool. And if the tales she’d been listening to for the last two hours were true, Lord Grey was a man who wanted a willing wench in his bed and most definitely not a wife―therefore he was a man for fools. None of the ladies embroidering in the circle appeared to see the situation that way, but Madelaine did. The ladies giggled, whispered and placed wagers on who would win Lord Grey’s heart. Madelaine doubted any of them would.

  Madelaine glanced at Lady Elizabeth. She was red-faced and tight-lipped, as she had been for the last hour. But she had not denied a single word about her brother. Finally the queen chimed in with a “tsk.” All grew blessedly silent as the queen stood and glanced around her ladies-in-waiting. “Young men have great appetites.”

  As if that was an excuse for blatantly using women!

  The queen’s gaze rested on Madelaine, and Madelaine forced herself to unclench her hands. “Lord Grey is a man of honor,” the queen said.

  Madelaine quickly pretended to study her embroidery in case her thoughts showed on her face. She hardly saw how bedding hordes of women was honorable. Lord Grey sounded more like a depraved rake. Which made it all the more infuriating that she kept picturing his wintery eyes and radiant smile. She needed to forget him―not daydream about him. She already had Lord Thorton trying to lead her to ruin. She certainly didn’t need to add another rake to her troubles.

  “Come, Lady Elizabeth. Help me prepare for dinner,” the queen commanded. The moment her bedchamber door shut, the chatter erupted again. Madelaine forced herself to sit through two more stories. That should be long enough no one would comment that she was rushing away the minute the queen departed.

  She stuffed her embroidery into her bag, longing for the chance to be alone for a moment before dinner. She needed to clear her thoughts and raise her defenses for another tedious meal where she spent more time blocking Lord Thorton’s wandering hands than eating. At the rate she was going her clothes would all be falling off her by Christmas.

  She bent to gather the rest of her embroidery thread and when she straightened Lady Elizabeth stood before her. “Come with me,” Lady Elizabeth urged with a quick glance at the other ladies.

  She needn’t have bothered. They were all still far too busy giggling over Lord Grey and which of them would be the one to ensnare his heart and make him reform his ways. Madelaine dismissed them and focused on Lady Elizabeth. A pink flush still covered her skin and her eyes gleamed. “What are you up to?”

  Lady Elizabeth tilted her head toward the hall and pressed her lips together as she grasped Madelaine’s hand.

  It took Madelaine a breath to decide this was too intriguing to pass up. Excitement filled her. Lady Elizabeth wanted to share a secret with her and treat her as a friend. She followed Lady Elizabeth out of the queen’s drawing room and down the hall.

  “Those women infuriate me,” Lady Elizabeth said as she stopped.

  A spark of hope filled Madelaine. Lord Grey had been the first man at Court to truly capture her attention. If the women had been wrong about him… “So Lord Grey is not a rake?”

  “Oh, he is. Most definitely. But they know nothing of him. They think the prettiest face will win his heart and change his ways. But they’re wrong.”

  Madelaine was intrigued despite knowing she should not be. “What do you think?”

  “I know what Grey needs is to feel loved. Then he’ll change.”

  Madelaine snorted. She couldn’t help it. “Don’t you think your brother feels plenty of love from the bosom of your family and the bosoms of all the women he has apparently seduced?”

  “No.” Lady Elizabeth smiled but then her mouth drew into a frown. “It’s a story for another time, but Grey is an outsider with my father and our older brother.”

  “I don’t understand.” How did being an outsider make one a notorious rake? Feeling excluded usually meant someone would feel little confidence. She ought to know. Lord Grey exuded confidence.

  “Neither do I. But I vow he’s like he is because he never had Father’s attention. He wants to feel loved.” Lady Elizabeth’s words held a ringing note of wistfulness. Madelaine’s heart fluttered with pity for the man, even though her head was not sure he deserved it.

  “I find it hard to believe your brother doesn’t feel loved when so many women apparently want him.”

  “I’m told on very good authority that there’s a marked difference between love and lust.”

  “Whose authority?” Madelaine scarcely believed she was having this conversation or that it appeared she now had a definite friend. Whatever Lord Grey might be, he seemed to be a good influence on his sister. The man could not be all bad if he had indeed convinced his sister to be Madelaine’s friend.

  “Madame Marmont’s pamphlet on courting and marriage.”

  “I’ve never heard of that.”

  “You wouldn’t have.” Lady Elizabeth smirked. “It’s scandalous and men make sure we ladies don’t know about it. But last time I was home, I came across it quite by accident in my father’s library.”

  “Truly?”

  Lady Elizabeth nodded.

  “How very nosy of you.” She loved that Lady Elizabeth was so bold.

  “It was by accident, I said.”

  “I
know all about accidentally finding things,” Madelaine replied.

  Lady Elizabeth’s face turned red. “Do hush. And you must go to the grave keeping my secret.”

  “Of course I will. What do you think your father wants with those pamphlets?”

  “Actually, I think they’re my mother’s. They’re written for women on how to avoid and catch certain types of men. Come, let’s keep walking. If we’re to reach my Aunt Helen’s chambers before the dinner hour, we must hurry.”

  “You’ve an aunt at Court?” Madelaine couldn’t keep the surprise from her voice.

  “Of course! My family is everywhere.”

  Once again, Madelaine felt the tug of jealousy. Since her parents had both been only children, she had no aunts or uncles. “Why are we going to see your aunt?”

  “I believe she can help you.” Lady Elizabeth rested a hand on Madelaine’s arm as they walked through the large chambers toward the stairs that led to the rooms occupied by the king and queen’s most important guest. As a longtime friend of the queen’s, Lady Elizabeth’s aunt clearly held great social importance.

  As they strolled through the corridor, the hum of voices mingled with the pounding notes of music to fill the passageway. “Do we have time?”

  “Just. If we hurry,” Lady Elizabeth whispered as a group of courtiers passed. They chattered as they moved down the corridor toward St. George’s hall. The women and men were dressed in their finest clothing, each undoubtedly looking forward to a feast.

  Madelaine’s stomach twisted into knots. No doubt her night would be long. If she thought there was the slightest chance the queen would not notice her missing, she would skip dinner tonight just to gain a reprieve from Lord Thorton.

  The women scurried up the stairs, turning right at the top and making their way down a narrow, candlelit passageway. At the third door, Lady Elizabeth paused. “I’m sorry for before. I’ve liked you from the start.” She squeezed Madelaine’s hand.

  “And I you,” Madelaine said, her throat thick with emotion. After so long without friends at Court, she almost wanted to cry now that she had one. Silly and pathetic, but true.

  “My brother says I must learn to be brave. And I know he’s right.” Lady Elizabeth raised her fist and knocked on the door.

  Madelaine stood with her thoughts buzzing in her head like bees around a honey hive. So Lord Grey had really convinced his sister to be Madelaine’s friend. A man who was simply a rake and nothing more wouldn’t do that. Rakes only cared for themselves. As the door opened, Madelaine pushed the thoughts of Lord Grey away and focused on the lady’s maid who stood facing them.

  “Louisa!” Lady Elizabeth exclaimed and wrapped the older woman in a hug. Wisps of silver hair loosened from the servant’s severe bun and fell to touch her hunched shoulders. “I’d no idea you were accompanying Aunt Helen.”

  “My lady insists. She claims nary a servant in the castle can dress her hair as I can.”

  “It’s true,” replied a husky voice from within.

  Lady Elizabeth released the servant and tugged on Madelaine’s hand. “Louisa, we shall visit tomorrow. Tonight, I’m on a mission.”

  As Madelaine was fairly dragged into the bedchambers, she struggled to enter gracefully, but her slipper caught on the edge of a rug and she tripped into the room. She quickly smoothed her skirts and then frantically tried to pin back the locks of her hair that now swung in her face. She must look ridiculous. Before she could pin the last bit of hair, Lady Elizabeth’s aunt stepped from behind a dressing screen and stared at Madelaine with her large, almond-shaped eyes.

  This was Lady Elizabeth and Lord Grey’s aunt? Dark chestnut hair piled artfully atop her head and laced liberally with sparkling diamonds made the woman look more fitted as an idol than an aunt. Her creamy skin and perfect hair made Madelaine uncomfortably aware her own face had not been washed since that morning nor had her hair been brushed.

  And her gown! She wore purple silk ordained with glittering gems placed alluringly around her bodice. Madelaine reached to fidget with her mussed gown, but at the smile of amusement that touched Lady Elizabeth’s aunt’s mouth, Madelaine forced herself to draw her hands in front of her and clasp them together as if she had not a care in the world.

  “Hard, isn’t it, dear?”

  “Pardon?”

  “To hold perfectly still even though you want to fix your appearance.”

  A dratted flush heated Madelaine’s cheeks. Well, she certainly couldn’t feign bafflement now that her skin had given her away. “Yes. It’s difficult but has become easier with practice.”

  “Brava, dear. I like a woman who is honest.”

  “Well, my flush left me little choice.”

  “Still, you could have lied.”

  “I suppose I could have.” Madelaine could tell already she was going to like Lady Elizabeth’s aunt.

  “Niece, does this young lady have anything to do with your mission?”

  Lady Elizabeth nodded. “Aunt, this is my friend Lady Madelaine Aldridge. Helping her is my mission.”

  “Aldridge, you said?”

  The older woman was staring at Madelaine with the oddest expression. Madelaine began to fidget under her scrutiny. “Yes, Lady…?”

  “Oh, gracious. I’m sorry, Lady Madelaine,” Lady Elizabeth rushed out. “This is my aunt, Lady Denton.”

  Lady Denton smiled warmly at Madelaine. “You may call me Helen in private. All my friends do.”

  Madelaine blinked in surprise. “Are we to be friends?” Her cheeks immediately flamed again at the bluntness of her words.

  Helen chuckled. “What’s the matter, dear? Are you not used to having friends?”

  “Not at Court,” Madelaine answered truthfully.

  “But we are now friends!” Lady Elizabeth exclaimed as she clutched Madelaine’s hand. “If you are to call my aunt ‘Helen,’ I insist you call me ‘Elizabeth’. I know I didn’t show myself to be worthy of friendship before, but I swear I can be a good friend.”

  “What’s this about not being a worthy friend?” Helen fixed Elizabeth with a narrow-eyed look. “Your mother and I taught you better.”

  Lady Elizabeth blushed. “Yes, I remember. However belatedly.”

  “You two had better spit out what’s afoot. I’m to sit by the queen at dinner tonight, so I mustn’t be late.”

  “The problem is the queen.”

  Helen’s eyes rounded and she waved a hand at her lady’s maid. “Make sure the door is shut tightly.”

  “Yes, my lady.” The servant scurried to the door and a soft click filled the air.

  “Niece, you must learn to make sure no one can overhear you before you ever speak negatively of the queen or king.”

  “I know, Aunt. Grey already reminded me earlier.”

  “Then do try to actually remember. Now, is Her Majesty causing you problems?”

  “Not me.” Elizabeth glanced at Madelaine. “It’s her. The queen dislikes Madelaine for some reason and she takes every opportunity to belittle her. I thought if Madelaine knew why, she could work to earn the queen’s favor.”

  Helen regarded Madelaine with probing eyes. “Do you want the queen’s favor?”

  Madelaine shifted her feet. Why was she constantly being put in a position to either tell a truth that could hurt her or lie? A fool would speak plainly to someone she had just met, and she may not be accomplished at feminine pursuits, but that did not mean she was a fool. “I don’t want to be miserable at Court.”

  “Take a lesson, Elizabeth,” Helen said. “This young lady has mastered the art of answering a question without really doing so. I predict you will rise to glorious heights in this Court.”

  “I do not want to rise to glorious heights here,” Madelaine said.

  “I’m pleased to hear that,” Helen said, surprising her. “I find women who want to rise to great heights often are the very ones who should not. So you don’t want to ascend to the top of the social heap, but what do you want?”
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  All she wanted was to find a husband she could love or learn to love, who if she was very lucky would be pleased, and not horrified, by a wife who enjoyed the same things he did. Then she would become betrothed and leave this wretched place of cattiness, debauchery and lying behind. Her mother would smile in her grave, her father would rest easier, and then she would feel as if she had somehow made amends for putting a rift between her parents.

  Here she was again stuck in a position of truth or lies. Instinct told her only the truth might persuade this woman to help her. And she needed all the help she could get. “I want to find a good man to marry, so I can fulfill my mother’s dying wish to see me properly wed. I was not an easy daughter.”

  Helen’s eyebrows raised high. “How so?”

  Madelaine quickly told Helen about her affinity for all things her father loved and nothing her mother did. When she was finished, that same niggling guilt that had plagued her since her mother’s death coiled in her stomach.

  Helen sighed. “You remind me of my much younger self. I was gloriously willful and my husband appreciated and adored it.” Helen patted Madelaine’s hand. “Take heart. There’s a man lurking beyond this door for you. One who will appreciate who you truly are.”

  “Do you think you can do anything to help me?”

  “Dearie, I can more than help you.” Helen linked her arm through Madelaine’s and moved toward the door.

  “Aunt Helen is the keeper of the castle secrets,” Elizabeth said with a giggle. “She was one of Queen Charlotte’s very first confidants.”

  Madelaine pulled back a bit. “I don’t want to put you in a position to betray a trust.”

  “Nonsense.” Helen fairly shoved Madelaine into the hall and motioned for them to proceed. She took Madelaine’s arm and leaned close as they walked so their heads were side by side. “No one places me in any position. If I do something, it’s because I want to.”

  That was exactly how Madelaine had lived her life thus far and a fat lot of good it had done her. But she refrained from sharing those specific thoughts. “Do you have any idea why the queen dislikes me?”