What A Rogue Wants

by Julie Johnstone

  “Grey, how nice to see you.”

  “Only nice?” He quirked his eyebrow.

  Blast. She’d tried to temper her words, but she didn’t want to. “Very nice. I’ve looked for you every day.”

  “I’ve dreamed of you every night,” he countered in a voice as smooth as silk.

  She shivered, but it had nothing to do with the falling snow. “Then what’s kept you away? Surely not equerry training?”

  He glanced down at his bandaged hand.

  She automatically reached for him and lifted it to her. “What happened? Did a horse bite you?”

  “Yes. That’s right.” His gaze flickered beyond her for a second toward the stables. “A horse. The ass. He has a bite as sharp as a dagger.”

  “Perhaps you should shoot him if he’s uncontrollable.” She dropped his hand in case someone chanced a look out of the window. Really, she should be going in, but she couldn’t make herself just yet.

  He stood and moved back as if he’d read her thoughts and understood her concern. “I can’t shoot the beast. He’s invaluable to the king, even if he is surly. But enough about the horse. Tell me, has Thorton bothered you at all?”

  She blinked in surprise at Grey’s steely tone. A tingle raced down her spine. He was truly worried for her. “He’s not had the chance to bother me. I’ve not been alone since the moment you left me.”

  Grey tugged the edge of her fur-lined hat. “You’re alone now. Thorton could follow you out here and try to take advantage.”

  “He wouldn’t.”

  “Don’t be naïve. Men are cunning when it comes to getting what they want.”

  She swallowed, uncertainty filling her chest. Was he speaking of himself or Lord Thorton? Seeing him now, so handsome, so smart and an obvious favorite of the king and queen it just didn’t seem possible that he would want to court her out of all the women here. He could have his pick, and she was certainly not special. Well, not in a way that made her an Incomparable. She was special in a way that made other’s snicker. Perhaps he really only wanted to conquer her. She’d heard the continued whispers of the other ladies-in-waiting regarding him. Her self-doubt crept back in, annoying companion that it was.

  His brows had drawn together and his normally blue-gray eyes had turned dark as he stared at her. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. I want to keep you safe.”

  He sounded so earnest that some of her uncertainly flittered out of her mind. “You didn’t frighten me, and I’m not being naïve. Lord Thorton has been called home on business. So you see I’m perfectly safe. I only went to that cottage over there to fetch the queen’s stole, but it’s not there. Are you here to see your sister or the queen?”

  He stepped closer. “I’m here to see you.”

  “Me?” A burst of happiness swelled inside her chest.

  “Yes. You. I’ve been so bloody sore from my training that I’ve been unable to walk at the end of every day. That’s why you’ve not seen me. But when dawn came this morning, I knew I couldn’t go another day without a glimpse of your face. So I crawled out of bed―”

  “You crawled?”

  “Yes. My need to see you has made me undignified. I hardly know you, but you’ve bewitched me.”

  The bewitching was more the other way around if you asked her, but even she understood there were some things you just didn’t tell a man. “So how did you know where to find me?”

  “I bribed that redheaded chambermaid.”

  “How did you know how to find the chambermaid?” She followed his amused expression to her hands, only realizing they were on her hips. She immediately crossed her arms in front of her chest, but the amusement in his eyes reached his mouth, so she dropped her arms and tried to appear relaxed.

  “You’re jealous!”

  “I’m not.” But she was. Her stomach plunged. “I’ve no right to be. We’ve no agreement. And as you said, you barely know me.”

  In a flash, his arm came around her waist, and he pulled her away from the gate and to the side of the door where there were no windows.

  Her heartbeat turned erratic at his touch. “What is it?”

  “Courting you will be the death of me.” His lips hovered so near hers that when he spoke, the warmth of his breath washed over her cold lips. Reflexively she licked them. He groaned and dashed a hand through his hair.

  “Is that supposed to be a compliment?” she teased, but heavens, she loved that she seemed to affect him as he affected her.

  “It’s definitely a compliment. Do you know I once scoffed during my lessons on Greek mythology when my tutor spoke of the cause of the Trojan War?”

  “Did you?” Her words came out as a breathless whisper. She was sure he was telling her something important, but being so near him made clear thinking impossible. At this moment, she couldn’t even recall the Trojan War. All she could think of was Grey’s heat, his scent, and the way his hair curved so enticingly around his strong jaw.

  “I did more than scoff. I told my tutor there was no possibility I would ever believe a man had started a bloody war over a woman. But I think I was wrong.”

  Her heart thundered in her ears. She recalled the Trojan War now. Menalaus, the king of Sparta, had waged war on Troy because Paris of Troy had taken Menalaus’s wife from him. “What do you think now?”

  “I think I could start a war over a woman, if the woman was you.”

  His seductively sweet words elicited a rush of desire in her that left her trembling. “I vow you’re trying to seduce me.” Her words came out husky.

  He shook his head and stepped away. “I promise I’m not. I just wanted to say hello, and ask if you could come to my aunt’s apartments tonight. She’s having a small gathering after dinner. Can you get away? Liz has already gained permission for herself, so the two of you could come together.”

  He was asking her to come to his aunt’s to be with him. Spend time with him. She could hardly imagine this was true. Yet it was, and she needed to speak before he decided she was dull and rescinded the invitation. “I think I can come. The queen has said she is spending time alone with the king tonight after dinner, and I was not one of the ladies she asked to attend her, so I’ll make the request.”

  “Excellent.” Grey took one of her gloved hands and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I look forward to after dinner then.”

  A thrill sent her pulse skittering more. If she could gain permission, she’d be able to sit and talk with him and get to know him better. “What if you’re too tired? Will you send a note?”

  “I won’t be too tired. My training should be wrapping up today. There’s a test, and I mean to pass it.”

  “I’d no idea equerry training was so difficult.”

  “Neither did I. I swear I’m going to tame that beastly horse today.” Grey’s brow furrowed, giving him such a handsome, disgruntled look that on impulse, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

  “Good luck,” she whispered before dashing to the entrance and going inside. She floated through the entranceway, but came crashing back to reality when Grace walked into the room and glared at her.

  “Where have you been? The queen’s beside herself. She was about to send one of the guards to search for you.”

  Madelaine brushed the snow off her dress, took off her hat and gave it a little shake. “The stole was not where the queen said, so I combed the cottage for it.” She walked over to the entrance table and with her back to Grace, carefully set her hat down and slowly removed her coat. Her ears burned with her white lie. She had searched for the stole, but only for a second. It was Grey who had detained her, but she wasn’t about to tell Grace that. “I didn’t realize how long I searched. I’ll go apologize―”

  She forgot the rest of her sentence as she faced Grace. The woman stared at her as if she knew her darkest secrets. “I spied Lord Grey coming out of the woods on our way here earlier, did you?”

  “Certainly not.” Thank God she truly had not seen him, or she’d likely be a st
ammering mess right now. Grey’s equerry training certainly was odd. She’d seen her father train an equerry before and it had never seemed difficult to her. In fact, the training was usually over in a few hours.

  “Do you know what I think?”

  Madelaine pursed her lips. “I didn’t realize you bothered with contemplation.”

  Grace moved and stopped right in front of her. “I think you’re lying.”

  “Which proves to me you shouldn’t bother thinking. I’m telling the truth. I didn’t see Lord Grey coming from the woods and even if I had, what of it?”

  “I think you saw him and then you met him. And that’s what took you so long. I doubt you looked more than five minutes for the queen’s stole.”

  “Lucky for me I answer to the queen and not to you.” Madelaine started to breeze past Grace, but the woman grabbed her arm.

  “You’ve a certain look about you, Madge.”

  She squared her shoulders. “And what look is that?”

  “You’ve the look of a woman falling in love. Your eyes shine, your skin glows, and you’ve had a smile on your face since the day Lord Grey rode into Court.”

  Madelaine’s breath caught in her throat. She’d not stopped to truly examine her feelings toward Grey. Was she falling for him? The mere question made her heart constrict. She was afraid he would hurt her or worse yet, ruin her. But she was also afraid there was no turning back.

  When he was near, her oddness seemed to hardly matter. Life with him, if things proceeded as she hoped, could be all she had imagined. Grey was the knight of her dreams. The valiant warrior who’d come riding into Court to sweep her away from those who scorned her and save her from a loveless marriage that she would have to succumb to. Except Grey was no knight, but he was an equerry, so he was quite capable of sweeping her up onto his horse and riding away. She laughed out loud at her silly notions.

  “You’re a fool,” Grace snapped. “Do you know how many silly women have had the same ridiculous expression on their face as you do when speaking of Lord Grey?”

  Madelaine forced her smile away and stared hard at Grace. She’d disliked Grace, but now she despised her. The woman was planting seeds of doubt in her mind after she’d just managed to rid herself of the doubt that had been there. No matter how she wanted to ignore Grace, the doubt now niggled and worried Madelaine. She’d rather die than show Grace she held any power to worry her. Madelaine lifted her chin. “A good many, I suppose.”

  “You suppose correct. And do you know what they all had in common?”

  “A dislike of you?”

  “You’re gaining quite the barbed tongue, Madge. Good for you. You’ll need it when the ridicule worsens. Believe me, just when you think things can’t get worse, they do.”

  The fleeting sadness of Grace’s face touched Madelaine. “You sound as if you speak from experience.” Grace softened and looked human, approachable, almost friendly. Maybe they could call a truce? Perhaps Grace had painful reasons for acting as she did. Before Madelaine could decide whether it would be wise or foolish to offer a ceasefire, Grace’s expression hardened. Her lips pressed together and her eyes narrowed.

  “Oh, I have experience all right. And knowledge. I can’t recall how many times I’ve seen Lord Grey change tactics when the woman he’s after proves to want to be chased. He’s a regular strategist.”

  Madelaine ground her teeth together. She’d not give Grace the satisfaction of a response.

  “You’re his latest prey. And I imagine you’re proving less eager to bed him than he is used to. I daresay he’s vowed he doesn’t want to seduce you. And then perhaps brushed your hand or kissed you after you demanded it.”

  Madelaine’s heart pounded in her ears. She swallowed and spoke. “Is this warning derived from personal experience?”

  “Of course, you silly ninnyhammer. But Lord Grey wasn’t the man. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you find yourself used and ruined. If you’re lucky, your father will promptly remove you from Court and marry you to some aged friend who will die quickly and leave you a rich widow. If you’re unlucky, he’ll leave you here to rot. Come, the queen awaits us both.”

  Grace swept out of the room before she could respond.

  Madelaine made her way to the library, unsure of everything. Pity for Grace’s obviously hurtful past dulled Madelaine’s dislike of the woman. The pity also lent Grace’s words a ring of truth that sent Madelaine’s thoughts in a thousand directions.

  Voices carried down the hall from the library. She paused, listening as the queen demanded to know what was detaining her. Maybe she shouldn’t ask permission to go to Helen’s apartments tonight. But if she didn’t see Grey and allow herself the chance to get to know him, she’d never know for certain whether he had wanted to court her or to seduce her.

  She could find a lord who didn’t set her heart to pounding. But that would undoubtedly be a man who wanted the normal type of woman. She could spend the rest of her life pretending to be someone she wasn’t, in order to make that lord happy. She could never chance true love. But if she didn’t, she was afraid her heart would become impenetrable, and then what would be the value of life?

  Tired but eager to see Madelaine, Grey dressed quickly for dinner. He changed the bandage covering the deep gash Gravenhurst had accidentally given him the second night of training and then slipped on his boots. By God, he was sore from the long hours of dagger, sword, and one-on-one combat training and tracking. The endless romps through the pitch-black night searching first for objects and then people Gravenhurst had hidden had left Grey cut, bruised and stiff as a stick. If he tried to bend too far, he might break.

  But it was over. He’d bested Gravenhurst in every test the man had thrown at him today. Tonight he would enjoy the reward of spending time with Madelaine, even if the mere act of sitting hurt his body. He’d forget the pain the minute he saw her brown eyes light for him and a lovely smile of greeting come to her beautiful face. One of the things that drew him to her was the way she looked at him. Not jaded or knowing as so many women of the Court he’d been with. Nor wary as the ones who’d been warned against him, or lustful as the women whose favors he’d declined to partake in for one reason or another.

  Madelaine stared at him with an open, trustful gaze as if he was good and true, which made him want it to be so, even more than he’d already wished for since finding out about his father and brother.

  As he shrugged into his dinner coat, the door swung open and Gravenhurst sauntered in pulling the door shut as he entered.

  Grey straightened his jacket. “You needn’t have shut the door. I’m leaving for dinner.”

  “Change of plans.” Gravenhurst stripped off his soiled shirt and strode to the wash stand to clean himself. He tossed his shirt to the ground exposing his back and the red, angry cuts Grey had given his friend.

  “Sorry about the cuts.”

  Gravenhurst waved a negligent hand before he dipped both of them into the water. “Don’t apologize. Your training was necessary.”

  “And finished.”

  “Not quite,” Gravenhurst replied while donning a clean shirt.

  Grey crossed his arms over his chest and glared. “I should’ve gutted you.”

  “Careful.” Gravenhurst straightened his jacket. “That volatile temper could get you killed where we’re going tonight.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you. My only plan is to see Madelaine.” Grey strode past Gravenhurst and through the door.

  He had one foot in the hall when Gravenhurst said, “That’s a noteworthy plan. And I like it. I really do. Yet the king has just taken me to task for not training you in the art of subterfuge.”

  “I’m plenty deceptive,” Grey retorted. “Just tell the king to ask around.”

  Now fully clothed, Gravenhurst sauntered from the room and held Grey’s overcoat toward him. Grey shook his head. “I won’t be needing that coat. I’m going to dinner and then I’m going to spend a lovely evening indoors i
n the warmth of my aunt’s apartments with Madelaine. I’m going to drink wine and get to know the woman who has intrigued me.”

  “A fine plan, as I said. Off with you then.” Gravenhurst pressed his face near Grey’s. “I’ll tell the king you don’t wish to be one of us.” He tapped discreetly on his ring.

  Grey’s thumb went immediately to the king’s ring. He recalled his vow to protect and serve above all personal wants, above all personal needs, above all else. “Damn it to hell.” He snatched his overcoat from Gravenhurst and shoved his arms in it. “What am I supposed to tell Madelaine?”

  “You’ve got me. But you’ll have plenty of time to think of a believable lie by tomorrow.”

  Gravenhurst had already started down the corridor. Grey caught him on the stairs. “I can’t allow her to go to my aunt’s apartments, wait for me, and then I never show up. I’ve got to give her some explanation before we leave.”

  “No time.” Gravenhurst didn’t pause in his descent. “Pearson has just arrived, and if you haven’t figured it out already here is how the chain of command goes―the king commands us all.”

  “You’re enlightening as usual.”

  Gravenhurst flashed a smug smile. “The king has commanded Pearson to test you in two hours at the Merry Tavern. It’s my job to ensure you pass the test. From here to the tavern I’m going to tell you every trick of our trade I know for getting information out of someone.”

  Grey was mad as hell. He had to excel to make his father proud. To be the best, he needed to know important information in advance. He had to be able to rely on Gravenhurst. “You’re just now teaching me this? Did it not cross your mind to impart some of this information sooner?”

  Gravenhurst shrugged. “You’re a fast learner, and as you so rightly pointed out, you’re already rather deceptive.”

  He pressed his lips together. He couldn’t argue with his own words. “What am I supposed to do?”

  “You’re to get information out of Constance.”

  “The chambermaid you’ve been bedding?”

  “I only bedded her once. I found out she’s bedding some scar-faced blacksmith from the village who pays handsomely for her favors, and the thought of plundering a woman who just dallied with another man doesn’t sit well with me.”