by Pat Tucker
There were three other sections to the club. One housed an art gallery, where the artist discussed her works with party-goers, and the other held the buffet.
Cooper was nowhere in sight.
After a few minutes, I was tired of looking for a man who obviously didn’t want to be found. Nearly two hours had passed since we’d arrived at this venue, and he’d never even bothered to check in with me.
I’d realized there was a terrace and decided to go grab some fresh air. My contact hadn’t returned, and the DJ was still going strong. Once he’d confirmed we were still getting paid, I wasn’t as pressed to locate Cooper.
A man had held the door open and I’d walked out into the darkness. The stars shone brightly, and it was a great night. Sections of the terrace were occupied by cigar smokers, and a few couples had the spots closest to the door.
Since I didn’t like smoke, and I didn’t want to see the couples with their PDA on full blast, I’d walked toward the back of the massive terrace. It wasn’t until I’d approached the dark corner to the left that I saw the shadows. Alarm had settled into my brain quicker than a smoke detector invaded by smoke, and I was ready to tear up some shit.
“Coop? Is that you?” My heart knew it was him, but I had asked anyway. At the sound of my voice, figures had started to move in the dark.
Someone had bolted up from a crouching position, and Cooper quickly had turned away and fumbled toward his crotch.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” I had screamed.
“Licia, don’t trip. Hold up; hold up,” Cooper had said.
The mud-dog of a woman had scurried away like she knew she’d been caught doing something out of order. But my anger wasn’t focused on her as much as it was on him, my damn husband, and ungrateful client.
“Damn, I can’t take you no damn where! Like, are you serious with this shit? You can’t keep it zipped while we’re working!”
“Licia, not here. C’mon, you ain’t gotta lose your lid out here; you know all eyes are looking this way.”
As he’d spoken, he still had fumbled with his groin and tried to adjust his clothes.
“You know what, screw you!” I had stormed off and headed straight to the elevator.
Chapter Fifteen
That night, as I had taken the elevator down, my mind thought back to only days prior when Cooper had originally pissed me off. I had given up more than I cared to admit for his residency at Milan’s, and he did nothing but tear down the place, and me. Despite his ungrateful behavior, I still had forgiven him and thought this gig before he started at the club would give us a chance to warm up and get ready to introduce his act at his new home.
Instead, he had pissed me off yet again. His careless behavior had taken me back to the level of anger I’d felt that night in the restaurant. I’d tried to calm myself in the bathroom, tried to make excuses for why he was so quick to criticize.
“You waiting to use it?” asked a woman who squirmed as she stood behind me.
I stepped to the side. “Oh, sorry; no, go ahead.”
Her question brought me out of that memory. It didn’t matter how long I stayed in the bathroom, Cooper would only come looking if he were ready to go. I could be in there the entire night; he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass.
Better yet, I could get flushed down the toilet, and he wouldn’t be bothered. I stood off to the side as traffic came in and out of the bathroom. I wasn’t sure how long I’d stay in there, but I felt if I went back to the table too soon, I might haul off and do something I’d regret. That was what Cooper did to me. He made me so angry at times that I had to coax myself into doing the right thing.
After a while, I pulled in a deep breath and walked over to the mirror. I gazed at my reflection and tried to use strategies to help me realize that I had put too much work into Cooper’s career to give up. He was a challenge, but once I helped make him a success, life would be better for us all. I had to keep believing that.
Instead of leaning on the many strategies I often used, I thought back to another one of his indiscretions. It was moving day, and I was so excited that we were finally about to leave Tabitha’s house.
The apartment was nothing fancy. It was on the Southwest side, far enough away from my mother but still close enough so she could help with Trey.
“I need to run a quick errand and I’ll be back,” Cooper had said before he rushed out more than two hours earlier.
We didn’t have much stuff to pack, so my concern was about the actual move itself, not the packing; it was just the principle of him leaving at that time.
After nearly three hours, I had called his cell phone. He didn’t answer, so I hung up. The next time I’d called, when he didn’t answer, I’d left a voicemail.
“Cooper, where are you? Can you at least call and let me know what’s what?”
Another two hours had passed before I’d heard anything. And when I’d expected to see him after the door had creaked open, I’d looked up to see my mother.
“What’s wrong with you?” I’d asked.
Her eyes had looked around the room. All of our stuff was packed up and ready to be moved. I knew despite how cramped we were, she probably didn’t really want to see us leave. But nothing could prepare me for what she really wanted.
Tabitha had walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. By now, her back was to me, and that’s when I had sensed her problem must have been epic.
I had walked around to face her and prayed I could avoid whatever drama was about to unfold. I was already trying to contain the rage that was building over Cooper being M-I-A.
My mother had looked up at me and her eyes were full. My heart had felt like it would burst from my chest.
“You know I am no saint,” she had begun. I had frowned, because I had no idea where she was going with that.
“Before I got saved, I did some very unsavory things. God knows it is only by the love of Jesus’ blood that I am still walking around here healthy, and alive, because if I was being judged today, umph, I’d be dead ten times over.” She had thrown her hands up and cried toward the ceiling. “Jesus, thank you for your mercy, and all the blessings you have bestowed upon this family, even though we don’t deserve it.”
My heartbeat had taken off like we were the frontrunners in a competitive marathon.
“Mom, what’s going on?” I had spoken softly. When she went off on her religious rants, I had to move lightly.
Her head had hung low and that really scared me. She was so hard to read.
“Baby, I need you to reach down as deep as you can and find it in your heart to forgive that man of yours.”
Now I was really confused. I had no earthly clue what she was talking about. And what would she know about my need to forgive my husband?
“Forgive Coop? What for? You’re scaring me; what’s going on?”
By now, I was seated next to her on the bed. She had put her hand on my lap. “Men are different from us. They require extra care and attention. I know you are working your tail off to get this thing off the ground for your family, but, baby, a man can only handle so much rejection.” My ears had started to ring.
“What are you talking about? Is something wrong with Cooper?”
“Baby, the reason he’s not here is that he went to the doctor, and well, he got some bad news.”
My heart had plummeted to the soles of my feet. What had the doctor told him? OhmyGod, cancer? Fear had crept up through my veins so quickly, I thought my mother might soon have to console me. But something else had hit me and I’d stopped.
“Wait, why wouldn’t he tell me, so I could go to the doctor with him?” I had felt awful. He shouldn’t have had to endure anything like a health scare alone. All of a sudden, the bad thoughts I had about Cooper weighed heavy on my conscience.
Suddenly, my mother’s demeanor had
changed. She’d cleared her voice and straightened her back. When she’d cleared her throat, I had braced myself for the bullshit.
“Well, now, it’s nothing like that. I mean, he came to me first because he knows that I have a way of calming a situation before it gets out of hand.” My mother could be just as self-absorbed as her son-in-law at times.
“What does that mean?”
My mother and Cooper were close, but I felt like any type of medical emergency should be shared between a couple before anyone else. This wasn’t the best time to point this out, but I was bothered by it.
She had closed her eyes and exhaled. When she had opened her eyes and focused on me, she’d said, “Felicia, your husband tested positive for gonorrhea.”
Blank stare.
My voice had left me and my head was threatening to explode. I had no idea how to respond to what she had just said.
“He did what?” I had stammered.
My mother’s sympathetic tone and demeanor had vanished. Suddenly, she had switched to the no-nonsense voice of reason.
“Baby, men will do what men do. I’m just glad he felt comfortable enough to be up front about this.”
My eyes had bugged wide. Did she just say he had been up front? How could a grown man go to his mother-in-law, of all people, and confess to contracting a sexually transmitted disease?
Then for my mother to even offer to act as a liaison to deliver this kind of foolishness like she was the mediator we needed made me sick. She had overstepped one too many times. Even if he had initiated such an awkward discussion, or even come to her out of desperation, she should have cut his ass off.
“So, my nasty-ass husband went out and screwed some equally nasty THOT, picked up a germ that he felt it best to tell you about first, his mother-in-law, versus his own damn wife whose health he put at risk by running up in some filthy trick unprotected?”
My mother’s expression had looked as if she was exhausted with me! I had frowned and tried to find some understanding.
“See, this is why he came to me. I need you to calm down,” my mother had said.
I had hopped up from the bed and rushed to my cell phone.
“You need me to calm down. My husband tells you that he has possibly infected me with some STD, and I’m the one who needs to be calm?”
“Felicia, we know you can take things completely left sometimes, so I felt honored that he felt comfortable enough to come to me in such a sensitive situation.”
I had whipped around to face her again. “Do you hear yourself? He admitted that he has probably infected me with some germ, and you’re sitting here trying to plead his case?”
She had used her hands to gesture and tell me, “I’m trying to have a civilized conversation with you about this sensitive situation.”
Cooper sickened me. How could he be so stupid, and then share his stupidity with my mother?
“Mom, this is not about him overspending; this is not about the designer shoes he sneaks and buys when he knows we can’t afford it. This is about something that could put my health at risk. I mean, if he must fuck around on me, the least he could do is use a damn condom!”
My mother had shaken her head. “Well, I am not gonna argue with that, but what I’m trying to tell you is, I’ve been there, and I’ve done it all. Honey, some men will just go with the flow and think later when it’s too late. We, as the women and the superior beings, must rise above it all. I know that man loves you, and I know you love him. I’m sorry this happened, but it’s the fact that he’s trying to make it right. We gotta give him some credit for that.”
I had pointed at my chest. “We don’t have to do no such thing! I am pissed at his carelessness and his lack of discretion. I’m sick that he decided he’d take his chances with you instead of me… me, the very woman he has probably infected.”
“Well, the reason he told me is because he knows that I will get you to go to the doctor, get checked out, and take the medicine you need to clear this up.”
For a long time, I had looked at my mother and wondered whose side she was on. It seemed like she always took the side opposite of mine or me. What mother in her right mind would make it her business to endure such an embarrassing conversation with her son-in-law?
Sure, I had done things I wasn’t proud of, but the things I did, I did for the betterment of our family. It was always all about him. Cooper did what made Cooper happy. He spent recklessly; he succumbed to lust; he’d probably steal if given the opportunity.
“How about, he should have told me?”
The ride home that night was silent for me. My mother and Cooper carried on in the front seat like I was not there, and it was okay by me.
As we arrived home, I received a message that changed the evening for me.
Chapter Sixteen
The sound of raindrops against the window pulled me back to the present. I was upset. Too much of my time and energy was being spent on a man who couldn’t care less about me and my life. Sleep wouldn’t come no matter how much I tried to focus on nothing. I closed my eyes, but instead of sleep at two in the morning, my mind raced with thoughts of that night I threw caution to the wind and thought of myself instead of Cooper for a change.
After the most miserable dinner we had experienced in a long while, I wanted to be with a man I thought could appreciate me and my hard work. So, I got things settled at the house, then turned to my ungrateful husband. “I have a meeting that could lead to something big for you.”
Forget the fact that it was close to ten at night; I knew if Cooper thought he could get something out of it, I could walk out naked at two in the morning.
“How long you gonna be gone? Want me to wait up?”
“Nah, I’m not sure. I’m going to check out a potential venue, so I might be in late.”
He had nodded, then pulled the headphones back over his ears. Since we’d been working together, Cooper spent most of his time listening to music. If he wasn’t listening to some of his old performances, he was watching music videos of Usher, Trey Songz, and Chris Brown.
I had suggested that he fashion himself after artists like Brian McKnight, Maxwell, or even Tyrese. But that fool had looked at me and said, “I hope this is not a sign of how your hand is on the pulse of current music, because those fools are dinosaurs, and I ain’t tryna compete with those old suckas.”
The stare I’d given him was empty and blank.
“Whaaat, Licia? Ain’t nobody checking for those dudes like that anymore.” He’d smirked.
A common-sense suggestion suddenly had turned into an insult against me. Cooper had made me sick, but I told myself that was why I needed to go out and fuck Big Al until it hurt. And that was exactly what I intended to do.
I had responded to Big Al’s text as soon as I decided what I was going to do, but still hadn’t heard back from him. I’d told myself it didn’t matter as I eased behind the wheel of the car and decided I’d drive to each of his clubs if I had to.
As I’d driven up to the club, my phone finally had chirped. I had pulled into a parking spot and picked it up.
“Really?!” I’d said as I looked down at the phone and saw the text message from Big Al. He had moved at his own pace for sure.
The message was an address. There was no other information; only an address in Sugar Land.
I had looked up at my rearview mirror and wondered whether I should turn around and go home. I shouldn’t have reached out to him in the first place. Suddenly, a thought had clouded my mind. What if he took it out on Coop because I was a no-show? We needed things to run smoothly with this gig.
“Maybe I should just text back, and tell him don’t worry about it,” I had thought aloud. I had sighed.
Trying to figure out my best move, I had sat and thought about the pros and cons of going to see Big Al.
Nearly an hour late
r, I had pulled up at the address he had sent to my phone. Darkness had clouded my view of the house, but from the shadows, I could tell it was probably spectacular. Again, I had thought about going home, but then images of the last time Big Al was between my legs made me turn off the ignition. I had come this far; why turn around now?
I had pulled in a deep breath and opened the car door. In my mind, I had justified everything I was about to do. I had reminded myself of Cooper’s selfish ways, his frequent indiscretions, and his lack of consideration for the sacrifice and hard work I put in. Images of his expressions during our celebratory dinner had fueled me to move forward. The initial guilt I’d felt after the first time I gave in to Big Al’s advances had all but vanished.
The embarrassment I had felt at the frat party moved me to action with no remorse or regret. I had swung one leg out of the car and eased up from the driver’s seat. My walk of shame along the pristine, shrub-lined walkway wasn’t long enough for me to have second thoughts.
Before I had arrived at the door, Big Al had walked up from behind and said, “Hey, follow me.”
As I had followed him toward the side of the house, it had seemed darker with each step. We had walked until we reached a cast-iron gate, where I stood back as Big Al had unlatched the gate and allowed me to step inside.
The oasis of his backyard was grand, even in low lighting.
“I was out here chilling when your text came through,” he’d said.
The pool was small and intimate, and situated to the left of an elaborate outdoor kitchen, and a cabana that sat next to the Jacuzzi. There was a bottle of Hennessy with one glass next to it. SportsCenter was muted on the TV mounted above the stove. My eyes quickly had scanned his surroundings, and I was immediately jealous. But instantly, I had felt relaxed.
Big Al had taken my bag, placed it on a table, then said, “Take off your clothes.”
He wasn’t the least bit interested in what, if anything, I wanted to discuss. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, when you got a late-night text from a married woman, I guess it was clear what she wanted. So there was no need for any kind of explanation.
