Delinsky, Barbara

by The Stud

  "Yes. "

  "Then eat these. " He handed her a banana and a single-serving bag of granola.

  She didn't want to talk or argue or do anything that would prolong the agony of their parting. The sooner she was back in Rhode Island, the better. So, though she had no intention of eating, she took the food.

  He stood watching her with his hands on his hips, seeming to know exactly what she had in mind. "Go on. "

  "I'll eat while you pack. "

  "I'm done. Eat before we take off. "

  He was nagging. She didn't like it. "Have you eaten?"

  "I'm not hungry. "

  "Well, neither am I."

  "Eat for the baby, then. "

  "I'll eat for the baby later, " she snapped, thinking how impossible overbearing men could be. "I don't feel like eating now. "

  "Some mother you're gonna make. "

  "And what difference is it to you? You didn't want this baby to begin with. You didn't want the responsibility. So I'm telling you not to take it. Let me worry about the baby. "

  He stared at her then, and his eyes shook her. She'd seen anger in them before, but she'd never seen the kind of cold fury that turned the silver in them to ice. She felt the chill all the way to her toes.

  It was just as well, she reasoned, though her heart broke a little bit more. She and Spencer could never be just friends again. Their feelings were too strong for that. If they couldn't love each other, they'd have to hate each other—a tall order on her part and one she would have to work at, but it was the only way. The only way.

  As though he had reached the same conclusion, Spencer gestured her into the plane with an angry toss of his head. He climbed in after her and strapped himself in, then started flipping switches. In no time the propellers started to turn.

  "You bastard, " she muttered.

  "Yup. "

  She clamped her teeth together and stared blindly ahead. She didn't look at Spencer when he maneuvered the plane to the end of the beach and turned around. She didn't look at their camp when they accelerated past it. She was too heartsick to be frightened when the wheels left the ground and the plane slowly rose into the air.

  All she wanted was to go home. It would be an hour and a half to Savannah, then two and a half to Rhode Island. She willed the time to pass quickly. After a few minutes, in hopes of helping it along, she looked out the side window.

  "What's that land mass?" It extended forward and back for as far as she could see and looked suspiciously like the mainland.

  "Florida, " he said tersely.

  "If we're heading north, what's it doing on my side of the plane?"

  "We're heading south. "

  "But I live north. "

  He didn't respond to that other than to clench his jaw, which made his profile even harder than it al- ready was. He was more tense than she'd ever seen him, and angry, very angry. Well, Jenna thought, so was she, and she didn't like what she was reading between the lines. "I thought you were taking me home. "

  "I am. "

  "To my home. "

  He flexed a muscle in his jaw, which looked tight enough to snap.

  "Enough, Spencer, " she declared, sitting ramrod straight behind her seat belt. "You decided we'd go to that island, so we went. Now it's my turn to decide, and I decide that you deliver me back to Rhode Island. "

  "I'm not flying all the way up there now, " he snapped.

  "Why not? You have nothing better to do until November. You told me so yourself. "

  "I have to think. I need time. I don't know what to do. "

  "I'll tell you what to do. Fly me to Rhode Island, drop me off and let me be. "

  "I can't do that"

  "Why not?"

  "Because we're not finished. "

  Jenna felt the slow twist of a screw inside her. The pain was unbearable. "We are—we are! You did your part. You gave me my baby. There is nothing else you have to do. I signed papers to that effect. "

  "Well, I didn't sign any papers!" he thundered. "And you can take yours and burn them, for all I care! They don't mean squat to me!"

  Jenna stared at him in disbelief.

  He went on angrily. "I told you I was going to have trouble with this. I told you I couldn't father a child and not care about it. I warned you, Jenna, but you seemed to feel that those papers were some kind of protection. Well, they're not! I can't just ignore the fact that my baby's growing inside you. I can't just go off and forget it. Hell, don't you think I wonder what it looks like, too?" He drove a hand through his hair. The other was white-knuckling the throttle.

  Jenna was afraid to think ahead.

  "Yeah, I planned this trip, " he went on. His eyes were focused on the horizon. His tone was one of brassy self-mockery. "I thought to myself, okay, Spence, the woman turns you on. She was real easy to be with in Little Compton. She was real easy to be with in D. C. She should be real easy to be with in the Keys. Then I thought about the island, and I thought, what an adventure! She's used to marble and velvet. Let's see what she makes of seaweed and sweat. " He added softly, "I didn't fool myself too much. Sure, I wanted to see if you'd crumble, but in the meantime I wanted to enjoy you. And it wasn't just the sex. It was the being together. "

  He pursed his lips. His nostrils flared when he took a breath. "That's been driving me nuts, the being together. The enjoying being together. The looking forward to being together. I've never felt that for another woman, and I didn't want to feel it for you. But I went ahead and made plans to maroon us for a couple of weeks on the island because I couldn't resist. And was it ever fun buying supplies! I felt like I'd been gathering knowledge for years and was finally putting it to good use for the very first time. Can you imagine that?"

  He sounded as if he couldn't. Jenna pressed her fingertips to her mouth.

  He swore softly and shook his head. "Hell, it was good. Everything about it was good. I mean, you didn't crumble. You didn't complain. You were having just as much fun as I was, and you were doing it in my kind of style. " His voice faltered. "I don't think I'll ever forget the way you looked sitting there in the surf with nothing on but your bikini bottoms and my baseball cap. I mean, talk about tugging at heartstrings. " He swore again, and she thought she saw something wet and glimmering in his eyes. "I could've stayed there forever. Do you know that? I don't think I've stayed anywhere for more than six months in the past twenty-three years, but I'd have stayed on that island forever. Or at least until we'd run out of food. " He grunted. "Or until you'd gotten pregnant. Boy, it didn't take long, did it?"

  Jenna wanted to speak, but her throat was too tight. Her heart was wedged there, along with her hopes and dreams.

  "And now I don't know what in the hell to do, " he sputtered. "Okay, so I've got you off the island and on your way back to civilization, but if that means I won't see you again, I can't do it—I just can't do it. I feel too much. I want too much. I can't just drop you back there and fly off, and only some of that has to do with the baby. Most of it has to do with you. When we were making love, I wasn't thinking of the baby. When you told me you weren't pregnant last month, I was disappointed for you but not for me. I wouldn't have been upset if we'd had to keep trying for months, because it would have given me time to figure things out. But you're pregnant now, damn it. So I don't have that time. And I don't know what to do. "

  Jenna was daring to hope. "What do you want to do?"

  He shot her a terrified look. "Marry you. Have you ever heard anything so crazy? I mean, here I am running all over the world, and I want to marry you. I want you legally bound to me. I want to know you'll be waiting when I come home. I want to send you flowers again, and rub sunscreen on you again, and carry your shoes and your bags and your books. I want to knot my tie around your hair again. I want our kid to have my name. " He shot her another look, no less terrified than the first. "But you don't want any of that, and I don't blame you. You're a capable woman. You have your own corporation, your own house and now your own baby. You don't
need me. " This time when he looked at her, he scowled. "Put that back on, Jenna. "

  She had unbuckled her seat belt and was climbing toward him. When her bottom touched his thigh, she wound her arms around his neck. "You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, " she whispered, and started to cry. "I do... need you. So... much. "

  "Oh, God, don't cry. Jenna, please. " His voice broke. "You don't know what that does to me. " He wrapped an arm around her and held her convulsively close.

  "I love you, " she sobbed.

  "Oh, God. "

  "I do... and I lied about something else. Back on the island... I said that the baby was... the most precious thing in the world to me. It isn't true—it was once, but it isn't anymore. You're... just as precious to me as the baby... but I can't hold you back, Spencer. If I did, you'd resent me the way you resent your parents. That would kill me. "

  His arm tightened around her. "Oh, Jenna. "

  "I love you, " she whispered. Now that she'd said it, she couldn't say it enough. "I love you. "

  He let out a ragged moan. "Ahh, angel. " The hand that was wound around her pulled her hair back from her ear so that he could put his lips there. In a tortured whisper, he said, "I don't want to be living out childhood fantasies when I'm old and gray. I want life to hold more than Spanish galleons, sparkling gold and sex. "

  "I was awful to say those things. "

  "You were right to say them. "

  "But your life is terrific. "

  "It's not enough. I keep running so I don't miss things, but I miss them, anyway. I want warmth, angel. I want a home. "

  Jenna had never thought to hear those words. Her tears came again. "What should we do?"

  "Think. We should think. And you should sit down and put that seat belt back on. You're making me nervous. "

  "I trust your flying. "

  "Yeah, well, you may not in a few minutes if you don't strap yourself in. I'm feeling the need to do more than hold you. "

  "Oh. " She drew her head back and looked up at him. "But nothing's been settled.

  He kissed the tears from her cheeks. "One thing has. " His voice was heart-stoppingly tender, as ach-ingly warm as the silver in his eyes. "There's love here. Somehow we'll find a way to make things work. "

  For as long as he lived, Spencer would never believe how simple it was, but that was because, never having been in love before, he hadn't known its power.

  Jenna had insisted on passing the presidency of McCue's to her vice president. Spencer protested, but she claimed that she would likely have done it, anyway, once the baby was born. She wanted more time for her family, she said, and besides, she was still chairman of the board, and the company's controlling stockholder.

  They were married on the Thanksgiving weekend. Spencer's parents were pleased as punch with the union—then appalled when Spencer promptly took Jenna to the South Seas for three months. Even Caroline was miffed, complaining that instead of regaining a brother she was losing a sister-in-law. But Jenna had insisted on the trip. She had known Spencer wanted to go, had gotten full clearance from her doctor, and told anyone who argued that since Spencer had won his court case but was waiting to salvage his galleon until after the baby was born, this was definitely the time to go.

  And Spencer thought he had wanderlust! She had been as enthusiastic as he every step of the way, ballooning belly and all.

  Now, ballooning belly and all, they were back to await the birth. After spending time in Rhode Island to make sure all was well with McCue's, they had rented a cottage on the Maine coast, far enough from Spencer's parents to let him breathe, yet close enough to a top-notch hospital should the baby come early.

  It was late March and still cool enough for Spencer to light a fire in the fieldstone hearth. With flames crackling around the logs, he sat on the floor, against the sofa. Jenna was straddling his lap. Her arms were looped around his neck; her eyes were level with his; a sweet smile softened her lips.

  "You're a very handsome man, Mr. Smith, " she said.

  "Scar and all?"

  She touched his jaw. "Scar and all. "

  "Did you know that was one of the first things I loved about you? You weren't fixated on the damn scar. "

  "It's just a scar. It's been part of you so long that I rarely notice it. "

  "Know how I got it?"

  "Uh-huh. In a jeep accident in Kenya. "

  "Usually I tell women I was gored by an elephant. "

  "You don't"

  "I do. It's more dramatic. "

  She rolled her eyes. "More drama I can do without. " She grinned. "I still can't believe you're mine. "

  He took her hand to his mouth and kissed the diamond wedding band he'd so proudly given her. "I'm yours. " Leaving her hand on his neck, he slipped his under her sweater. She was due in six weeks, but there were times when he wondered whether she would explode before then. Every bit of weight she'd gained was in her stomach, which protruded from her front like a great, fallen nose. From behind she looked as slim as ever, and he did enjoy her behind, but this was what he loved, this warm, smooth, tautly stretched belly that was glasslike and alive. "Feeling okay?"

  She nodded. "Feeling great. I love it here. "

  "So do I. Maybe we could come back after the baby is born. "

  She shook her head. "We're going south. Your ship awaits. "

  "You're really looking forward to that, aren't you?"

  "You bet. I've never worked with a salvaging crew before. "

  "Jenna, you're not working with my crew. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

  "I know, I know. I'll be in your boat with a full-time captain aboard, but we'll be near the work boats, so I'll be able to see what's brought up. Are you sure your men won't resent my presence?"

  Spencer wasn't sure of it at all. The boat he had bought for Jenna and him was far more luxurious than the one the men would be living on. Some envy was inevitable. If that envy reached an uncomfortable level in any of his crew, that man would have a quick, one-way trip to shore.

  "My men will be fine. I'm the one who may have the problem. "

  "With resentment?"

  "With distraction. " His eyes widened. His voice dropped to an excited murmur. "It's moving. Whoa, feel that?" He had both hands on her stomach, fingers splayed to feel the nudge of a tiny arm or leg.

  Jenna laughed. "Such wonder. Your expression is priceless. But you've felt that before. "

  "It's still the most incredible thing in the world. " He kept his hands where they were. He liked thinking that the baby recognized his touch. He liked thinking that the most primitive form of bonding was taking place.

  It probably wasn't But he liked thinking it. "Spencer?"

  He looked up to find her eyes suddenly deep and intense. "What, angel?"

  "I'm glad you're here. "

  "Where else would I be?" No other place in the world held half the challenge and a fraction of the reward.

  "I mean, I'm glad you're doing this with me. "

  "I'm your husband. "

  "But you weren't my husband when I got pregnant, and I said I could do this alone. I think I was wrong. This wouldn't have been anywhere near as easy or exciting an experience if you hadn't been sharing it with me—"

  He kissed her silent, then wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes when she sighed in contentment against his cheek. He was always amazed to hear her say things like that, since he was the one who had been so wrong about being independent and self-sufficient. Sure, he could be both. So could she. And they were fine things to be if one had to. If one didn't, ahh, that was where true joy lay.

  Since he'd been with Jenna, even the smallest things in life had taken on new meaning. Her reaction was important to him. Her enthusiasm sparked his, and vice versa.

  When he thought of traveling, he thought of ways he could do it with Jenna. And with the baby. The baby was coming along, too. He was thinking of spacing out his travels, actually. Actually, he was thinking of going back to
school. He and Jenna had spent hours talking about his experiences with the Indians in the Amazon, and it had occurred to him that a degree in anthropology might be nice. It had occurred to him that if he went on for a doctorate, he might teach one day. He could intersperse classroom work with fieldwork. He could have a life that would be exciting and diverse, yet stable enough for a wife and child. And children.

  He wanted all that. More important, Jenna wanted it, and her happiness meant the world to him. She was a treasure, fallen right into his hands. Now that he'd found her, he wasn't letting her go.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12