Beacon

by Michelle Irwin

  I chuckled and kissed behind her ear. “Practice makes perfect.”

  “You must have practiced a lot.”

  “Course,” I said, still concentratin’ on the spot just beneath her ear. “Phoebe was sweet.”

  She grabbed my jaw and guided me to her mouth before kissin’ me hard. “Really sweet?”

  “Not as sweet as you.”

  “You’re just saying that.”

  “No, I ain’t. But—”

  I couldn’t say more because there was a cry from my bedroom, where Abby and Emma were asleep.

  I sighed. “But duty calls.”

  “Damn. Do you want a hand?”

  I kissed her forehead. “No. You stay put. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Okay.”

  After climbin’ out of the bed, I pulled on my jeans and headed to my room.

  Abby was awake. “Sweeswee.”

  “She’s sleepin’, Abs. It’s sleepy time.”

  “Dink?”

  “Sure thing, li’l darlin’.”

  I left the door open behind me while I went to the kitchen to get a sippy cup and some water for her. When I returned, I couldn’t find her.

  “Abs?” I whisper-shouted.

  “Uh, she’s in here,” Angel responded.

  “Oh.” I raced into Angel’s room. Angel had the sheet pulled up to her neck and Abby was cuddled up against her side.

  I lifted Abby off the bed and balanced her on my hip and gave her the sippy cup. “You need to sleep now, baby girl.”

  She kissed my cheek and rested her head on my shoulder.

  “D’ya wanna cuddle up with Emma?”

  Abby climbed onto the bed and crawled to Emma. For a moment, I worried she might wake her sister up and we’d have two toddlers on our hands. Once she was settled though, it didn’t take her long for her eyes to close.

  I closed the door carefully. Once I had, I took a couple of deep breaths to try to put my thoughts into order.

  “Beau,” Angel stood at the doorway to her room, completely naked. It was a good thing I had the heat on, or she probably woulda frozen already.

  “Sweet Jesus.”

  She fingered the air to call me over before disappearin’ into the room.

  I didn’t think twice before followin’ her.

  The moment I entered the doorway, Angel pressed me against the wall and fell to her knees. She practically tore my jeans and boxers off. They’d barely hit the ground when she drew my cock into her mouth.

  It’d been over five years since I’d experienced that sensation and I almost lost it immediately. Angel hummed around me and I couldn’t stop the hiss of approval that escaped from between my lips.

  My hands threaded into her hair and I guided her head back and forth over me.

  When her gaze flicked up to meet mine, it was a reminder of the first time Phoebe had done the same thing. It was almost enough to make me pull away, but I had nowhere to go. Before I could ask her to stop, Angel took a leaf outta my book. She grabbed my hands from her hair, threaded her fingers through mine, and pinned my hands against the wall. It gave me a sense of why she’d reacted the way she had when I’d done the same to her. It was handin’ all control over to her, and it was freein’.

  Her mouth moved over me and I tipped my head back to enjoy the sensation.

  “Angel,” I said.

  She hummed again, the sensation racin’ down the length of my cock and along my spine.

  “Sweetness, stop. Unless you want this to be over soon.”

  With one lingerin’ stroke of her tongue down the length of my cock, she pulled away.

  She grinned at me as she stood and stepped away. The distance gave me a better view of her shapely body. She carried a li’l more weight than Phoebe had—especially toward the end of Phoebe’s days—but I wasn’t complainin’. Angel’s curves called to me and I wanted to hold her again.

  All the things I’d thought about her over the years came back to me, conjuring up pictures that came almost too readily until my mind was twistin’ images of her and Phoebe together. I grew painfully hard.

  “What are you thinkin’?” she asked with a breathless voice.

  There wasn’t a moment where I wanted to lie to Angel. “I’m just imaginin’ you and Phoebe . . .”

  She frowned, and my first reaction was to apologize but before I could, she said, “If I hadn’t thought it would shatter everything Phoebe had left, I would’ve jumped at the chance.”

  “Me too,” I admitted. “It was always a delicate dance with Phoebe though. In the bedroom and out, especially where it came to you. She was worried about you and me.”

  “I know.” Angel reached for me and I grabbed her hand, drawin’ her back in.

  When Angel was close enough, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. “I guess in a way she was right to be.”

  Angel gave me a small, sad grin and shook her head. “No, she wasn’t. You never would’ve cast me anything more than an occasional glance if she were still here. And I wouldn’t have gone near you in a million years—not unless she invited me to.”

  I buried my head where her hair fell against her neck, nuzzlin’ into her warmth. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”

  She wrapped her hand around my cheek to draw me to look at her. “I know I am. Here’s why I know it—because I never wanted this to happen. Not like this. Maybe on occasion I dreamed about a different life, one where I met you first and we were the two who fell in love, even though I know I wouldn’t have stood a chance with you.”

  “What?”

  “We both know you were drawn in by Phoebe’s looks long before you got to know her.”

  “Sweetness, you’re beautiful. Ya gotta know that.”

  She waved me off. “I’m not talking about that. I was a bottle blonde model-type that you probably saw every day of the week. Pretty, but not stand-out.”

  “I think you’re pretty stand-out.”

  “Now, you do, but only because you know me. If we’d met under different circumstances, you would’ve just thought of me as a typical grid girl.”

  As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she was probably right. Leggy blondes had been a dime a dozen at the track. She woulda turned my head, but she wouldn’ta got me to stand up and pay attention like Phoebe had.

  “And even if you had, I would’ve self-sabotaged more than Phoebe ever could because I wouldn’t have stopped long enough to find out how sweet you really are. I would’ve seen a playboy driver and not much more.”

  I fell into silence as I thought through what she was sayin’. There was so much truth in her words, and the longer I considered them the more truth I saw.

  “Despite that, I’ve fantasized about what your hands would feel like over my body. Maybe I’ve even imagined the taste of you, and what it would feel like to make love to you. Then again, I had the same thoughts and fantasies about Phoebe. You were Phoebe’s through and through though, and she was yours. It didn’t stop me wanting you, but I never would’ve acted on it without her permission.”

  I pressed my hand to her cheek too and met her eyes. We stood like that—both of us naked with our gazes locked—until I was utterly convinced of the course we were takin’. It was what I’d warned Declan about when it came to Gina—first came shared emotional baggage, then shared intimacy before it all spilled over into more.

  It wasn’t a fast, blindin’ love, like with Phoebe. It wasn’t one look in Angel’s eyes and I was gone, but it was love. Slow and creepin’, missin’ her when she wasn’t around, takin’ over my entire mind love.

  I loved her.

  More than that, I was in love with her.

  I pressed my lips to hers, relishin’ in the first kiss after my stunnin’ revelation. Without stoppin’ the assault on her mouth, I pushed her backward until we both tumbled onto her bed. Just when my passion overtook me completely, I froze because there was somethin’ we needed to discuss that I hadn’t needed to talk
to Phoebe about for years.

  “Do you have any protection?” I asked. “Phoebe and I . . .”

  She shushed me. “I’m clean, I was tested at my last pap smear, and I have an implant for birth control.”

  “What about . . .” I swallowed hard thinkin’ about the weekend I’d driven her into someone else’s arms. The same someone she’d been livin’ with for the last few months. “Logan.”

  “Logan? We, uh, we didn’t . . . We’ve never . . .”

  “You said . . . when you were drunk that time Cass was . . .”

  “Oh. Oh! Well, we didn’t really . . .” She lifted her hands and covered her face. “God, this is embarrassing.”

  I drew back as her face flushed red. “What is?”

  “I—well, uh, please don’t judge me—we started . . . we started to get a little hot and heavy. He was, you know, with his fingers. And, well, I was planning on going all the way to get the thoughts I’d been having of you out of my head, but when—” She blew out a sharp breath and shook her head. “When-he-made-me-come-I-screamed-your-name.” The last sentence all came as one big word.

  I rolled onto my side and she followed my path so that we were facin’ each other. “But ain’t ya been livin’ with him?”

  “No. He just helped me move. I was staying with his sister, and she wasn’t my type.”

  A few months ago, I wouldn’t have recognized the relief that coursed through me for what it actually was. Now her admission made me grin. “What is your type?”

  She shrugged. “Phoebe.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I haven’t found another woman attractive since I admitted to her—and myself I guess—how I really felt. It’s why things didn’t work when I tried again with Jamie in London. All I could think about was Phoebe and I think Jamie could tell.”

  “Look at us, a couple o’ lovestruck fools.”

  She kissed my cheek. “Guilty.”

  Even though we were naked and I still wanted her, we took another quiet moment to stare at each other. Our new exploration started slowly. We met in the middle with a series of slow kisses. She ran her fingertips over my cheek and I copied her actions. Her hand trailed down onto my chest, and I dragged my fingers over the same path on her body.

  By the time I reached her hips, and hitched her legs around my body, I was hard and more than ready. She reached her hand down and then lined me up. The feel of her holdin’ me, with such confidence, was another reminder about how things were different now. Although the position didn’t allow a good angle, our proximity was worth it. We stared into each other’s eyes as my hands mimicked the paths of hers. Our kisses continued as slow, romantic passes on each other’s lips.

  It was the perfect way for us to connect after the last year of our lives. Slow and steady, just like the build-up to this moment.

  As our breathin’ sped and our actions grew erratic, I rolled so that I could take control. My fingers threaded through hers and I pinned her hands against the mattress near her head. As soon as I’d made that move, she cried out with pleasure.

  I pushed myself up, givin’ a li’l more space between our bodies and watched as hers moved in time with my thrusts. As the sounds escapin’ Angel grew louder and closer together, she said, “Wait. Wait. Wait.”

  I stopped instantly, worried that I mighta been hurtin’ her or that she had changed her mind. Before I could try to guess what was wrong, she’d wiggled her hands free, shifted position so that one of her legs was over my shoulder, and then put her hands back near mine so I could capture them easily again.

  When I pushed forward again, I gasped at the depth of the new angle. “Sweet Jesus.”

  “Oh, God!”

  I thrust deep inside of her and almost lost it. I closed my eyes and tried to think non-sexy thoughts to extend our connection. When I had myself under control again, I shifted our joined hands to just above her head so I could lean forward and kiss her again.

  “Harder,” Angel moaned.

  I realized I was still holdin’ back so much. Starin’ into Angel’s eyes, I let it all go.

  I let go of everythin’ that wasn’t the two of us.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: RE-LIGHT THE FIRE

  “HAPPY BIRTHDAY.”

  I tried to figure out who had spoken because Angel was fast asleep in my arms.

  “Beau, did you hear me?” Phoebe’s voice called from behind me.

  My heart leapt as I considered the naked woman beside me. What the hell am I doin’?

  I couldn’t drop my hold from Angel though, not even if I wanted to. It was almost as if I was entwined with her permanently.

  “Darlin’, it—”

  “It’s not what it looks like?” Her tone was more amused than angry.

  “It really ain’t. I thought—I thought . . .” What had I thought? Why was I with Angel?

  “You thought I was dead,” Phoebe said.

  A rush of memories flowed through me. “Yeah.”

  “You thought I’d left you?”

  “Yeah, darlin’, I did.”

  “I’m not going to leave you, Beau. Not really.”

  “I know. I just gotta look for ya in the night sky, right?”

  “And in the love of the woman you’re holding in your arms.”

  I stared at the side of Angel’s face, still unable to move or release her.

  “Don’t make the same mistake I did, Beau. Show her everyday how much you love her. Show her everyday how important she is. Just like you did with me.”

  “How am I supposed to do that though?”

  “You know how.” Phoebe’s voice was fadin’ fast. “And I think you should start tonight.”

  “Tonight?” I was able to release Angel’s body and spin to find Phoebe, but she was gone.

  “What’s happening tonight?” Angel murmured in a sleep-strained tone.

  “Nothing. It was just a dream.”

  Angel kissed my cheek. “Last night wasn’t though, was it?”

  I shook my head. “No. That was real. It was . . . good.”

  “Good?” She raised a brow, drawin’ a chuckle from me.

  Kissin’ her cheek, I said, “It was great.”

  “That’s better.” She placed her hand on my chest before kissin’ my tattoo.

  “Happy birthday, Beau.”

  “Thank you.” I thought about gettin’ outta bed, but it was too comfortable.

  Angel lifted her hand and chuckled.

  “What’s amusin’, sweetness?”

  “I just had a thought, but it’s a little morbid.”

  “My life has been a li’l morbid lately, sweetness, so I’d love to know the funny side of any of it.”

  She held up her hand, with the white-gold bracelet on it. “I just had a stupid thought that I guess my wish came true. Just not the way I wanted.” She turned somber as she brushed the fingers of her opposite hand over the blue stone. “She was with us all night.”

  “She’ll always be with us,” I reassured Angel.

  Before the conversation could turn any deeper, there was a series of bangs on my bedroom door and the girls’ voices callin’ out for “Dada” and “Sweeswee.”

  I pulled on my boxers and Angel pulled on a shirt. As soon as I opened the door to my room, the girls charged out as fast as their li’l legs would carry them. I bobbed down. “Angel’s in bed still. Maybe you should go wake her up.”

  I followed behind them as they headed to Angel’s room. Playin’ along, Angel had her head on the pillow and her eyes closed. Both of the girls pulled themselves up onto the bed and crawled across to pat Angel’s cheek with a laugh.

  “Oh, what’s this?” Angel said, blinkin’ and pretendin’ to wake up for them.

  “Sweetness, I brought you breakfast in bed.”

  “Is that right?” she joked. “They look tasty.” Angel lifted Emma up and gently wrestled her onto the bed before pretendin’ to nibble at her limbs with loud eatin’ sounds.

  Emma giggled and tried
to push Angel away.

  Abby perched beside Angel, lookin’ ready to run.

  “Ya missed one,” I said, closin’ in on Abby who squealed a laugh as I came nearer, makin’ the same sounds.

  It was the perfect wakeup and I tipped my head up at the ceilin’ before whisperin’, “Thank ya, darlin’.”

  DURIN’ THE day, we spent a li’l time with Cass so that Hope could play with the girls. We left the girls with Cass so that we could have some time alone. When we did, we walked up to the waterfall we’d spent the day at with Phoebe. Alone up there, we shared a few stolen kisses—the daylight castin’ a different light on our relationship.

  There would be a learnin’ curve, but it was one I was willin’ to take on with my Angel.

  When Angel went to grab the girls for lunch, I found Mitch and let him know that I wanted to perform at the bonfire. It wasn’t much notice, but I didn’t mind. I had a song in mind, and a plan to go with it.

  We dressed the girls in warm clothes and took the stroller with us to help keep them both under control while we each sang—not that Angel knew I was singin’ yet. It would be a surprise to her.

  Durin’ dinner, I tried to still my nerves and run over the words of the song in my head. When it was Angel’s turn to sing, she moved to one of the chairs at one end of the fire. It was nice to see that for all the things that had changed at the resort, there were still some things that had stayed the same.

  Just like the last time Angel had sang at one of the campfires—when I’d asked her to as a gift to Phoebe—Joe strummed the guitar. The tune was vaguely familiar from that very night, but I couldn’t recall the lyrics. When Angel lifted her voice and sang about bein’ an anchor durin’ hard times, I knew the song I had picked and everythin’ I had planned was perfect.

  She finished to a strong round of applause considerin’ the relatively minimal guests. After givin’ a li’l bow, she moved back to my side. “Last time, I meant that song for both Phoebe and you. I still do.”

  “Now, we have a li’l somethin’ from the birthday boy,” Joe said, pointin’ in my direction.

  Angel gaped at me. “I didn’t think you were going to sing?”

  “I wasn’t gonna. Then I was struck with some inspiration.”