The Christmas Wish: A heartwarming Christmas romance

by Tilly Tennant

  ‘Are you decent now?’ he called.

  ‘Perfectly,’ she said, tugging her top down.

  He emerged from the bathroom with a towel draped around his neck, his hair dripping.

  ‘I think we might be on our own a lot now that Brian and Hortense are an item.’ He rubbed at the nape of his neck with the towel. ‘In fact, I think in the circumstances, that might be less painful for us two.’

  ‘It is a bit awkward to be around them,’ Esme agreed. ‘Last night at the table it was like the outtakes from 9½ Weeks.’

  Zach chuckled. ‘I can imagine. Listen, I’m sorry I dropped you in it. I only said yes to Niko because I thought you weren’t coming to dinner.’

  Esme held up a hand. ‘It’s OK, I understand.’

  ‘Right. So you’re not mad at me?’

  ‘Why would I be mad? Seriously, it’s OK. Just warn me next time so I can make other plans too.’

  ‘There won’t be a next time.’ Zach sat on the end of the bed. ‘I can’t keep up with Niko.’

  Esme shook her head. Being OK with Zach and Niko was one thing but she didn’t need gory details – she’d had enough of those sitting with Hortense and Brian.

  ‘It might sound silly,’ she said, changing the subject, ‘but I had this hankering to go and see Santa. That’s silly, right?’

  Zach’s smile faded and his expression was ghosted with pain. It was fleeting, and Esme wondered if she’d even seen it at all.

  ‘That’s not one bit silly,’ he said, his voice low. ‘Don’t ever think that.’

  ‘But I’m a grown woman.’

  ‘Doesn’t matter. You were once a little girl. You want to see Santa, see Santa. Life’s too short to care what other people think about it.’

  Esme took a steadying breath. ‘Would you come? I understand if you think it’s too silly for you but—’

  ‘Of course I will.’ His smile was strained and not like the one she’d come to know so well already. ‘Give me half an hour and I’ll meet you in reception. You want to see Santa then that’s what we’ll do.’

  * * *

  The snow had lightened again but it didn’t look as if it would be stopping any time soon. As they stood outside the building where the queues for Santa had been earlier Zach leaned in and lowered his voice.

  ‘This is not the real deal you know.’

  Esme looked up at him, stamping her feet to get some feeling back in them. ‘It’s not?’

  ‘The real Santa is out on Highway Four. We could get a bus.’

  She looked back at the building. ‘So who’s this guy?’

  ‘Some chancer – there’s hundreds of them all over the world at this time of the year, don’t you know? Even here.’

  Esme grinned. ‘And there was me thinking he just had a really fast bike.’

  ‘You want the real Santa,’ Zach continued, ‘you have to go to Santa Claus village.’

  ‘Do you have to book ahead?’ she asked doubtfully.

  ‘Santa’s never too busy to see anyone no matter when they drop by.’ He started to lead the way to a nearby bus stop. ‘Come on.’

  Esme trotted after him. ‘How do you know so much?’

  ‘I’ve been before.’

  ‘You never said.’

  ‘I didn’t think it mattered.’

  ‘Well, no. But I would have asked you loads about it if I’d known.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘I don’t know. Is that the time you learned to drive a snowmobile too?’

  ‘Yes. Last time we…’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Doesn’t matter.’

  ‘Did you go sledding too?’

  ‘Went out with huskies.’

  ‘Is that fun?’

  ‘Yeah, you want to try it out?’

  ‘Would it involve Niko again?’

  Zach laughed. ‘Does he scare you?’

  ‘He’s a bit… full on.’

  ‘Tell me about it. My head’s still pounding.’

  ‘So we’re getting the bus now?’

  He arched an eyebrow. ‘Is there somewhere else you need to be?’

  ‘No.’ Esme laughed. ‘Will it take long?’

  ‘Don’t worry, we’ll be back in plenty of time for the Northern Lights chase.’

  ‘OK then.’

  Zach led them to the bus stop with ease and they joined a queue of mostly families with small children speaking lots of different languages, and the noon began to swiftly turn to night. It was almost impossible to imagine how it could be any colder, but as they waited for the bus to arrive Esme felt the temperature drop by degrees. She began to shiver.

  ‘You’re cold?’ Zach asked.

  ‘I’ll be OK when the bus arrives.’

  ‘It’s got colder for sure.’ He took both her arms and rubbed his hands vigorously up and down them. ‘Better?’

  ‘A little.’

  He frowned. ‘No, it’s not – you’re still shivering.’

  ‘A little.’

  ‘Do you stop talking when you’re cold?’

  ‘My tongue’s seized up.’

  ‘I can’t have you silent the whole trip – I’ll be bored to death. Not to mention it’ll be a serious disability when you try to tell Santa your Christmas wishes.’ He looked at her with mock solemnity. ‘You do have a Christmas wish, don’t you?’

  ‘I thought you just asked for presents.’

  ‘Doesn’t it amount to the same thing? It just so happens that most kids want toys so that’s what they wish for. But we can wish for anything.’

  ‘Sounds a bit suspect to me. Is this actually true?’

  ‘Of course!’

  ‘It sounds silly to me. I think you’ve just made it up.’

  ‘On my honour.’

  ‘OK, so what do you wish for?’

  In a moment his expression had changed and his voice was flat. ‘Some things are too big, even for Santa.’

  Esme would have teased and cajoled him into a proper reply but the slump of his shoulders told her not to.

  ‘I’d ask for a faster metabolism,’ she said, trying to rescue the moment.

  He raised his eyebrows. ‘That’s not what I was expecting. Why?’

  ‘Isn’t it obvious? So I could keep the weight off.’

  ‘You’ve got no weight on you!’

  ‘It’s hidden under all these jumpers.’

  ‘Don’t forget I’ve seen you without the jumpers,’ he said. And although Esme blushed she was pleased to see him laughing again. She didn’t even know why she was blushing because it didn’t matter if Zach saw her in her bra.

  ‘That could have been very awkward,’ she said.

  ‘You don’t need to worry about your weight,’ he said. ‘Even if you were twice the size you are now you’d still look lovely.’

  ‘That’s not what Warren says.’

  Zach’s eyebrows went skyward again. ‘Ah, so this is the mysterious boyfriend you’ve been careful not to mention.’

  ‘How did you…?’

  ‘It was obvious really.’

  It was strange, but Esme felt stupid now for keeping Warren a secret from Zach. After all, there was no reason why she needed to.

  ‘Have you been together long?’

  ‘Sort of. Three years, a gap, and we’ve just got back together again.’

  ‘So you split for a while?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘How come?’

  Esme frowned.

  ‘Sorry – none of my business,’ he said quickly. ‘Forget I asked.’

  ‘It’s OK – I just don’t want to rake all that up again. You understand?’

  ‘Of course. My mistake. So you’re happy now that you’ve made it up?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Good,’ Zach said, though he didn’t sound convinced.

  ‘Well, when I say happy… I suppose we’re still trying to get past all that. It’s hard to go back to how it was before the split.’

  ‘Is he good to you?’
<
br />   There was a pause. ‘Yes,’ she said finally. Was Warren good to her? She was constantly defending him but she was beginning to wonder why.

  ‘If he’s telling you you’re fat,’ Zach continued, ‘then he’s an idiot. Sorry, but there it is.’

  ‘It’s not like that… he’s thinking of me… you know, my health and all that.’

  ‘So I suppose this guy is some sort of Adonis?’

  Esme shrugged. ‘Honestly, he kind of is.’

  ‘Well then, that makes everything he says gospel, doesn’t it? Beautiful people get to tell other people how to look just because they’re beautiful. It’s written into the constitution.’

  ‘Do I detect some sarcasm there?’

  ‘I’m just saying he’s wrong. And even if he wasn’t he has no right to tell you how to look.’

  ‘Easy for you to say – you’re pretty good-looking too.’

  Zach blinked.

  Esme laughed. ‘It can’t have escaped your attention.’

  A sudden gust of wind rushed them, picking up a cloud of powdery snow and dumping it over them. Esme gave another shudder.

  ‘Seriously, your lips are blue,’ Zach said.

  ‘I’m OK.’

  ‘Here… I know it’s probably inappropriate but…’ He held his arms open. Esme hesitated. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘It’s just a medical emergency hug.’

  ‘There’s such a thing?’ Esme asked as she stepped into it. He pulled her close.

  ‘Judge for yourself. Don’t you feel better already?’

  Esme closed her eyes. It was better. She was warmer and she felt… she felt safe. Safe and calm and content. It had been a long time since she’d had a hug like this. Warren never hugged – he just wasn’t that sort of a man. He pawed and kissed and clung on when they made love but he didn’t hug, and he especially didn’t hug when there was no chance of sex at the end of it. Zach was a good hugger. And he smelt good too – like cedar wood and fresh soap and clean air.

  ‘I have to admit, that is better,’ she said into his chest. God, his chest was comfy. Broad and lean and yet soft in all the right places. Even through all those layers of clothing she could hear his steady heartbeat, like an emotional metronome. If it’s true about Zach and Niko, then lucky Niko, she thought, closing her eyes again.

  They lapsed into silence while Esme breathed and emptied her mind and thought only vaguely of how good and right she felt in Zach’s embrace. Suddenly nothing else mattered – not Warren or her grandma’s house or not having a job. This was a place she could stay forever.

  Zach’s voice broke the spell. ‘Have you fallen asleep in there?’

  ‘Not quite,’ she murmured.

  ‘Only, if there’s sleeping to be done, I think it ought to be me. I’m the one with the hangover, after all.’

  Esme lifted her head to look at him. ‘You get no sympathy because it’s self-inflicted. This is different – it’s not my fault I’m susceptible to the cold.’

  ‘If you had more meat on your bones you wouldn’t get cold.’

  ‘Now you sound just like my grandma.’

  ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories.’

  ‘It’s OK. I miss her but I do like to think of her. It doesn’t bother me to be reminded.’

  He gave a short nod, seemingly satisfied that he hadn’t caused her any great distress.

  ‘So, tell me, now that the great secret has been revealed, why isn’t the boyfriend here keeping you warm? Warren, is it?’

  Esme’s contentment evaporated at the sound of his name. Being able to mention him to Zach was one thing, but she didn’t want to talk about him at any length, and especially when it would mean discussing all the ways he’d tried to stop her from coming on her grandma’s trip.

  ‘He was too busy to come.’

  ‘Too busy to help his grieving girlfriend get over the loss of a grandmother who was supposed to be taking this trip with her? He was happy to let you come alone? I take it you asked him to come?’

  ‘We were on our break when Grandma booked it.’

  ‘That doesn’t excuse anything.’

  ‘He… my family… they don’t see eye to eye. He felt like it was a trip that had been booked to reward me for breaking up with him. So I suppose it kind of irked him. I can understand why.’

  ‘But you think it’s OK that he left you to come alone, knowing what you’d been through? It doesn’t matter why the trip was booked, you needed his support. I’m right? You wanted him to come?’

  ‘No… I don’t know. Maybe…’ Esme let out a long breath. ‘God, I can’t believe I’m telling a total stranger all this.’

  ‘I hope we’re not strangers now. I’ve slept in your room, seen you in your bra and you’re currently leeching all my body heat from me.’

  ‘You offered yourself as a willing sacrifice.’

  He gave a warm chuckle. ‘Did you call him back?’

  ‘Warren?’

  ‘I take it he was the one texting you like mad.’

  ‘No. I mean, yes, it was him, but no, I didn’t call.’

  ‘You don’t want to?’

  ‘I don’t know how to.’

  ‘It’s not that hard. You pick up the phone and—’

  ‘You know what I mean.’ Esme gave his arm a playful slap.

  ‘Ow. Leeching my body heat and now assaulting me. What next?’

  ‘Shut up, baby.’

  ‘It hurt!’

  Esme smiled. ‘So I take it you’re single at the moment.’

  ‘I thought we were talking about you.’

  ‘I changed the rules.’

  He was silent. Esme stepped out from his arms to see him squinting into the blinding distance.

  ‘I think our bus is here,’ he said.

  Fifteen

  The bus was packed and they’d been forced to stand. Esme loved the way Zach reached to steady her with every jolt and slide with a gentle hand to her back or arm, and she had to keep reminding herself that there was nothing romantic in it, especially in light of what Inari had told her. But the bare honesty of earlier had turned to banter again. Zach’s box was still sealed tight shut, even if Esme had allowed him to peek into hers. Her own openness had shocked her more than anything – how comfortable and easy she suddenly felt with him now that the angst of repressed sexual tension could be put to one side. At least, the sexual tension she’d clearly imagined because she’d got that situation a whole heap wrong and then some.

  Darkness fell quickly, like a cloak thrown over the town as they travelled. It was so hard to get used to the idea that the sun set almost as soon as it had risen here. It should have been a depressing thought, but it wasn’t – it just made everything about this place even more magical.

  Zach nudged her. ‘We’ve just crossed into the Arctic Circle.’

  ‘Seriously?’

  ‘You’re at the North Pole. How does that feel?’

  ‘Weird. Unbelievable. Weird, unbelievable and cold.’

  Zach laughed. ‘We’ll save that review for TripAdvisor.’

  Esme smiled. She liked that Zach found her silly, mixed up thoughts funny instead of annoying.

  ‘I feel as if there ought to be some ceremony,’ she said.

  ‘For what?’

  ‘Crossing into the Arctic Circle. Like a special certificate or something.’

  ‘I think you can buy those.’

  Esme blinked.

  ‘Honestly,’ he said, laughing. ‘I’m not joking. I think you can get them at Santa’s village. We’ll look for one if you like, so you can show the folks back home.’

  ‘I don’t think it would get them all that excited.’

  ‘No? I guess not all of them. Your boyfriend sounds like a real laugh a minute for a start,’ he said, and his smile had gone now.

  ‘I didn’t mean just Warren,’ she said.

  ‘Sorry, it’s just…’ He shook his head. ‘Ignore me – none of my business.’

  ‘You don’t need t
o apologise. He can be grumpy but it’s not his fault. He’s got a lot on his plate. Money troubles and everything.’

  What she neglected to mention was the reason why Warren had money troubles. But if Zach didn’t think much of him now, the revelation that he’d been funding a double life, sharing a flat with both her and his wife Shelly in two separate locations would certainly not help Zach to change his mind. Not that it mattered what Zach thought of Warren, of course. Though, now that she thought about how it might sound if she said it out loud, she could see why Zach might not have approved. It did sound pretty bad. And, if she was honest, his opinion mattered. Not about Warren, but about Esme putting up with it. About how she’d forgiven the unforgivable even though everyone had told her she was crazy. It mattered what Zach thought about that, more than she cared to admit, even though she didn’t know why.

  ‘Looks like we’re here,’ he said.

  Esme looked through the window to see a large complex of buildings buried in a thick blanket of snow and festooned with bright lights. There was a ripple of excitement along the whole bus as everyone else saw it too. Her morose thoughts gave way to a sudden sense of childlike wonder and anticipation.

  ‘Oh, it’s so cute!’

  ‘Isn’t it?’ Zach grinned, evidently gripped by the same giddiness too. ‘Wait till you get inside – it’s like every Christmas film you’ve ever seen times a thousand.’

  The bus came to a halt and emptied and they were swept along with the throng to the gates of Santa’s village. Instinctively, she reached out her hand and, without looking, Zach caught it and held tight. It was funny how much braver he made her feel whenever he was there.

  At the gates, Esme pulled back.

  He turned to her. ‘What?’

  ‘I don’t want to go in,’ she said.

  ‘Seriously?’

  ‘I do, but I don’t want to go in yet. Once we’re in, all the anticipation is over and that’s the most exciting part.’ She gazed up at the gates, trying to drink in every detail, trying to capture the moment so time would never dull the memory. ‘I want to save this in my brain. I don’t ever want to forget it. And I want to remember my grandma because I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her.’