‘You need never be lonely now – I’m only ever a phone call away. Say the word and I’ll hop in my little car and be with you before you can blink.’
‘Too right,’ Brian said. ‘That goes for both of us.’
Their kindness filled Esme’s eyes with fresh tears and she blinked them back. On a practical level it was far too cold for crying – if she carried on like this her tears would be freezing right on her face. And it was just plain silly too. With people like Hortense and Brian in her life, what reason did she have to cry?
‘Thank you – that means a lot to me.’
‘It will be our pleasure. We’ve both become quite fond of you this week. As you know, I don’t have a daughter of my own but if I did, I’d be jolly happy if she was like you.’
‘Oh God, don’t!’ Esme laughed through her tears. ‘Don’t make me worse! Listen,’ she said, sniffing, ‘I was going to leave this until later but, well… now seems like a good time in the circumstances.’ Esme unfastened her rucksack. ‘I just… well…’ She lifted three gifts wrapped in metallic paper and finished with bows and tags from her rucksack and peered at the labels of each. ‘They’re only small. Just, you know, because it’s Christmas and I wanted to say how much better you’ve made this trip for me. In fact, I’m sure I’d have had a miserable time without you.’
She handed one to Hortense and one to Brian. Then she looked at the label of the third again with regret before putting it back in her bag. She didn’t suppose she’d have the opportunity to give Zach’s to him now and she didn’t know how appropriate it would be in the circumstances, even if she did.
‘I’m sure that’s not true at all,’ Hortense said, turning over the parcel in her hands. She pulled off a mitten and tore at the sticky tape sealing it. ‘I feel dreadful that I haven’t bought anything for you.’
‘I didn’t buy to receive. I just wanted you to know that your company has meant a lot to me this week. Plus, I really like Christmas shopping, especially here. In fact, it’s absolutely mind-blowing here!’
‘Oh, dearest girl, they’re marvellous!’ Hortense held up her knitted booties for Brian. ‘Aren’t they marvellous, Brian?’
Brian nodded as he opened his and showed Hortense and she laughed to see he had a matching pair.
‘Well, that can only mean one thing,’ he said, laughing too. ‘It means we have to live together, Hortense.’
‘What a fabulous idea!’ she said, laughing harder now. ‘I’ll be over next week with my trunk, dear boy!’
‘Bloody hell, woman, we’d kill each other inside a week!’
Esme giggled. Though something told her that if Brian had agreed, even in jest, Hortense would probably take him at his word and might well pack up and head north to his house. And maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing for two people who seemed so happy and natural in each other’s company. For a fleeting moment there was a tug of envy. What a wonderful ending for their story. If only there could have been an ending like that for Esme. But she shook the thought away. Perhaps the best she could hope for now, the best outcome she could strive for was to be happy on her own in a new life, and perhaps, if luck was on her side, the rest, one day, would follow. She was young enough and she had time, and perhaps all she really needed to make peace with was the notion that settling for nothing at all was sometimes better than settling for second best.
‘Thank you, Esme,’ Brian said.
‘Yes, it’s terribly kind of you,’ Hortense agreed. ‘Thank you.’ She reached to give Esme a kiss on the cheek. Then her gaze went to the rucksack. ‘I suppose the third gift…’
Esme nodded. ‘I suppose I could keep hold of it. Maybe I can give it to him if he comes tonight.’
‘Of course, dear girl. Quite.’
‘And if he doesn’t, I suppose I’ll just take it home with me. I do quite like it anyway so it would be a nice souvenir of my time here.’
‘Not much time to go and get a refund now, eh?’ Brian said.
‘I don’t think I’d want to,’ Esme said. ‘It wouldn’t feel right somehow.’
‘I quite understand,’ Hortense said with a sage nod.
‘Do you think…’ Esme began, but then the public address system burst into life and cut short her question. The assembled crowd (which had swelled considerably as Esme had waited in the cold) turned expectantly towards the stage, and Esme had to put all other thoughts to one side – for a while at least. There was an announcement, much cheering and then Santa Claus arrived with his elves – direct from their village, as the announcer said – and then even more cheering as they wished the crowd a merry Christmas. It wasn’t quite Christmas yet but nobody cared. The elves danced under flashing disco lights and whooped and looked more like lithe extras from a seventies dance troupe than fabled woodland-dwelling, gift-constructing creatures with a peculiar unexplained loyalty to a fat red-coated man.
Esme couldn’t help but smile. Despite everything, there was something about Santa’s home town that was utterly enchanting, whatever your age. How could anybody be unhappy for long in a place like this?
* * *
Half an hour later the first fireworks exploded across the sky. Not quite as rare a sight as the aurora borealis but every bit as magical. Blue, green, gold and silver, scarlet and orange, they popped and fizzed and rained down to rapturous applause. There was music and narration too, and everything was choreographed to a theme that told of the various global beliefs around Christmas, tales and traditions of the festive season from around the world. They told the story of the Christmas log in Spain, the Yule Lads from Iceland and, of course, the Finns had to have a festive sauna! Esme had been to some impressive firework displays in her time but none so thoughtfully planned as these. From time to time she’d glance around the crowd and everywhere were little children, beside themselves with excitement, and parents not much better. Even though the temperatures were enough to keep her freezer ticking over back at home, the sheer numbers in the crowd massed around her and the swell of happiness was enough to keep her toasty warm.
She gave a broad smile as Hortense grabbed her and pulled her into such a determined hug that she might fall over when she let go. In fact, Esme was ready with an arm to catch her, just in case.
‘Isn’t it all marvellous!’ Hortense cried. ‘There’d be no wars at all if all the generals came along to see this!’
Esme laughed. ‘That’s true.’
‘Merry Christmas, dear girl!’
‘You too,’ Esme said. ‘It’s honestly been wonderful getting to know you and I do hope we can stay in touch.’
‘Just try to keep me away!’
It was then that Brian turned to see the outpourings. He looked rather uncomfortable, as if he wasn’t quite sure if he ought to join in. That was the thing about Brian – he never quite looked as if he was certain he ought to join in and yet he was always welcome. Perhaps an after-effect of his marriage, but if he stayed with Hortense, Esme was pretty sure he’d soon lose that particular trait. She leaned in to give him a light kiss on the cheek.
‘Merry Christmas to you too, Brian.’
‘Absolutely,’ he said. ‘Thank you. I mean, merry Christmas.’
Another flash of scarlet burst across the sky and then rained down fiery sparks.
‘Oh, that was a good one!’ Hortense cried, bursting into spontaneous applause.
Then there was a hand on Esme’s shoulder. She spun around, heart suddenly, inexplicably thumping, half expecting to see Zach behind her. Instead, it was Niko. Instinctively, she looked beyond him, scanning the crowds.
‘You are looking for Zach?’ Niko asked.
Esme blinked. Was it that obvious to everyone?
‘Oh, I’m sorry… Hello, Niko.’
Niko gave a perfunctory smile. ‘He’s not with me. Sorry.’
Esme hesitated. What was Niko trying to tell her? Was it anything at all? ‘Have you seen him today?’ she asked.
‘Yes.’
‘He’s alright?�
�
‘Not completely.’
‘Oh.’ Esme didn’t know what to say to that and she didn’t really understand what it meant either. ‘Is he planning to catch the rest of the fireworks?’ she asked as another burst of magenta sparks rained down from the sky, accompanied by more applause from the audience.
‘He will try.’
Esme forced a smile. In a strange way she felt they had been rivals for Zach’s affections all week, and yet neither of them had ever made it so. ‘You like him a lot, don’t you?’
‘Yes.’ He gave a wry smile. ‘You think we are lovers?’
Esme stared at him. ‘Well, Brian and Hortense… they said…’
But she never got to finish the sentence because a girl Esme instantly recognised as one of their snowmobiling party spotted Niko and pushed through the crowd to grab him.
‘Merry Christmas!’ she cried.
Esme watched as Niko fell into easy small talk with the girl. The way he switched it on and off was really quite incredible, and to see him now it was as if the brief revelation he’d shared with Esme had never happened
But Esme knew that she needed to know, once and for all, how Zach felt about her, about Niko – about everything – and it was now or never. This was their last night in Rovaniemi, her last chance to get it right, to mend a broken friendship or coax it into something more. She’d got so close to Zach she couldn’t lose him, not without a fight. However that played out – whether they left as friends or (and the hope now grew in her) something more than friends, she had to see him one last time at least. Besides, she had a gift for him – the perfect excuse to search him out and an innocent enough lead into a more meaningful dialogue.
Tuning into the conversation between Niko and the girl again, she listened for an opportunity to grab Niko’s attention. She needed to hear more of what she was certain he’d been about to tell her and she somehow knew that it was important for her and Zach. All the while she kept one eye on the crowd, hoping to see Zach himself arrive.
The hoped for lull in their chat didn’t materialise, but a few minutes later she saw Zach across the crowd. Her heart did that strange leap again, and she wanted to run to him, but there were so many bodies in the way she hadn’t a hope of reaching him at all, let alone running. He didn’t seem too concerned with reaching them either as he watched the skies, and Esme wondered whether perhaps he hadn’t seen them. Pulling out her phone she sent a text. With all the noise of the fireworks and the music he probably wouldn’t even hear the notification – all she could hope was that he’d notice her message at some point and come to find her.
Then she heard Niko’s voice close to her ear.
‘Come… we need a quiet place.’
Brian and Hortense were watching the fireworks and there was now no sign of the girl who had been talking to Niko. Zach was still stranded in the crowd – so close and yet so hopelessly out of reach.
‘I think you will be glad to talk to me,’ Niko insisted.
Another moment’s hesitation, and then Esme gave a short nod. Whatever it was, she felt certain it was going to shed some much needed light on whatever the hell was going on here.
The temperature dropped noticeably as the crowd began to thin and soon they were standing on a street corner, away from the bustle but with the fireworks still cracking and popping above them in a blaze of colour, the odour of gunpowder strong on the icy air.
‘Will you walk?’ Niko asked. He seemed agitated, uncertain. Esme could hardly say she knew him well but she had never imagined that these emotions were even possible for him. It made her feel uncertain too. She didn’t want to leave the safety of the crowds and the fireworks, but she nodded anyway and followed as he led the way, taking her along the road that led back to her hotel.
‘Zach is my friend,’ he said, picking up where they’d left off.
‘I guessed that. He seems to like you. I hope he’s a friend to all of us – me and Hortense and Brian. We’re all very fond of him.’
‘He’s dear to me.’
Esme hesitated. What was that Hortense was always saying about the direct approach? From what Niko had said earlier, perhaps that direct approach wouldn’t be as difficult as she’d imagined – at least with him. ‘You like him as much more than a friend?’
Niko nodded slowly. ‘I think… you do too.’
Esme flushed. ‘I suppose I do.’
‘Then we are the same.’
‘But you two…’ she offered uncertainly. Come on, the direct approach, she reminded herself before beginning again. ‘You spent the night together.’
‘Sleeping,’ Niko said, in a voice that spoke of weariness at people’s assumptions. ‘I took the bed and Zach slept on the floor. We were drunk.’
Esme’s cheeks flared hotter still. Hadn’t she and Zach done exactly the same and managed it perfectly well without having sex? ‘I’m sorry, I thought…’
‘It doesn’t matter. I suppose it would be easy to imagine something else.’
‘I guess,’ she said with a self-conscious smile.
Niko nodded this time and faced the path ahead once more, seemingly content with the explanation. Or perhaps just not that interested after all. Then he spoke again.
‘He has been to Rovaniemi before. He told you this?’
‘He mentioned it.’
‘Did he tell you what happened?’
‘No. I only know he wasn’t here alone like he is this time.’
‘He came with his wife.’
Esme stopped dead. Niko was a few paces on before he turned to see her standing on the pavement staring at him and walked back to join her. He didn’t speak; he just waited for her to say something, but she didn’t know what to say. All she could do was run two words over and over in her head, unable to compute them.
His wife?
How could she have been so stupid? How could she have been taken in a second time? Did she have mug tattooed on her forehead? First Warren and Shelly and now Zach. How many more before she learned her lesson?
‘Well,’ she said coldly, beginning to walk again. ‘Thanks for telling me. He never mentioned his wife.’
‘It pains him to talk of her.’
At this the anger subsided almost as quickly as it had fired up. ‘Why?’ she asked after a pause.
‘I didn’t remember them at first,’ Niko continued. ‘But when you both arrived for your snowmobile lessons this week he came to talk to me. I see so many people come and go on their vacations… but then I remembered them because it had been their honeymoon and I’d shared a drink with them in their hotel after their lesson. They were nice and very much in love.’
‘So, where is she now?’
Niko turned to face her and they both came to a halt again, this time at his instigation. ‘She’s dead.’
Esme suddenly felt sick. All this time she’d sensed something was off but she’d never imagined it could be something so massive.
‘How…?’ Her throat was dry as she tried to get the question out. ‘How long has she been dead?’
‘I think for two years.’
‘So their original visit was a long time ago?’
‘Three years ago.’
‘Oh God!’
Esme’s eyes filled with tears. How could she have got this so wrong? She wanted to run and find Zach and fold her arms around him. She wanted to tell him it would be alright. But it wouldn’t be, would it? For Zach there would never be an alright. How did you move on from a loss like that? How did anyone help you?
‘So they were only married for a year? Do you know how…?’
Niko shook his head. ‘I did not ask too much. He wanted to talk and I was happy to listen.’
‘And I kissed him,’ she said, hardly realising that the words she’d run through her head had come out of her mouth.
‘He told me.’
Esme looked at him. ‘What did he say?’
‘He was angry.’
‘I know that much – he hasn�
��t spoken to me since.’
‘No, you misunderstand. He was angry with himself.’
‘With himself? Why would he be angry with himself? He didn’t do anything wrong – it was my fault…’
But Niko suddenly looked at a spot over her shoulder, his eyes wide. Esme turned, half expecting to see a furious Zach wanting to know why they’d been discussing him, but instead she saw a hooded figure and a fist fly past her. Niko swerved, simultaneously pulling her from harm’s way. The hooded man skidded on the icy pavement, thrown off balance by his miss, and when he turned to face Niko again for another try and she finally caught a glimpse of his face, Esme’s heart stopped.
His name frozen in her throat, she could only watch in numb shock as he swung for Niko again. It seemed, however, that Niko’s attacker hadn’t banked on a super-fit snowmobile instructor who was also a lot younger than him. The next thing Esme saw was Niko duck another punch, and then his own fist connecting squarely with his attacker’s jaw, sending him crashing to the ground.
Instinctively, Esme ran to the man now groaning on the floor.
‘Warren!’
Warren pushed himself to sit, glaring at Niko. Esme knelt on the snow beside him.
‘What… what are you doing here?’ She was incredulous, but somewhere beyond the shock of seeing him she’d always known he was capable of this. She just didn’t know how to feel about it.
‘I came to take you home,’ he said, struggling to get purchase on the ice and get back on his feet. But he slipped again.
‘But I’m coming home tomorrow anyway!’ Esme squeaked. ‘That’s ridiculous!’
‘Isn’t it a good thing I came?’ he said, ignoring her. ‘Now I see what’s been going on.’
‘No!’ Esme said quickly following Warren’s train of thought. She threw an anxious glance at Niko, who was still standing a couple of feet away, eyeing them warily. ‘It’s not like that!’
The Christmas Wish: A heartwarming Christmas romance Page 24
