‘There had to be a reason you were being so cagey, and now I know,’ Warren said, his own darker glance settling on Niko.
‘No.’ Esme shook her head. ‘You’ve got it wrong! Niko’s just my friend!’
‘Yes, I can see that. Friendly is one way to describe it…’
‘Warren, please, you’ve got it wrong—’
Warren leapt to his feet this time, slipping and sliding but managing finally. He waved a dismissive hand at Esme to silence her, and Niko put his fists up in a defensive stance. Warren eyed him up, clearly appraising how he’d fare if he took another swing at him. Then Niko spoke to Esme, never taking his eyes from Warren.
‘You know this man?’
‘He’s my…’
‘Fiancé,’ Warren finished for her. ‘That’s the word you’re having so much trouble with.’ He looked back at Niko. ‘She’s mine.’
This time Niko looked at Esme when he spoke and in his expression there was a note of utter disbelief. ‘You are marrying him?’
‘No… yes…at least I was. It’s sort of complicated.’
Now Warren turned to stare at her in disbelief. ‘Is it?’
‘Warren, I…’ She hesitated. Why couldn’t she just say it? What was she so scared of? Nothing would be settled until she did and nobody could move on while they stayed in this limbo – least of all her. But then, perhaps this – here and now – this wasn’t the time or place to do it. Nobody deserved that sort of humiliation. She needed to get him somewhere private.
‘Warren, we need—’
Throwing Niko a look of pure loathing, Warren grabbed Esme by the wrist. She cried out in surprise. Niko made an uncertain move towards them but then stepped back at Esme’s pleading look. She didn’t need him to antagonise Warren any further. Niko might have survived one onslaught and he might yet survive another, but Warren was fit and strong from hours spent at the gym and she couldn’t take the chance that Niko might get injured.
‘We’re going home,’ Warren said, starting to walk and dragging Esme with him. But she dug her heels into the snow and held back. He rounded on her.
‘What it is now?’
‘Warren, we need to talk…’
‘We can talk all you like at home.’
‘Warren—’
Niko took a step towards them now, as if he might intervene, and Esme shot him another pleading look that she hoped he’d understand. This was a quarrel only she could resolve and she had to do it alone. He halted, tensed and he looked ready to step in at any moment, and Esme could only hope that he wouldn’t.
‘Stop messing around!’ Warren said, trying to walk again.
‘No!’
Her voice was steady and clear but her stomach churned and her legs shook.
‘You want to stay here with “your friend”?’ Warren stopped and turned to her now. ‘You think he’d still be that pretty if I rearranged his features? Would you still want to be “friends” then?’
‘We are not…’ Niko put in, but Warren silenced him with a look.
‘Niko’s not my boyfriend, if that’s what you’re getting at,’ Esme said, giving Niko a look that said she was grateful he’d had the sense to be quiet again. ‘Why can’t you ever just listen to me?’
‘You looked cosy enough to me.’
‘How can you say that – you didn’t see anything!’
‘I saw enough.’
‘That’s the trouble with you,’ Esme said, ‘you only see what you want to.’
He stared at her now, confused. ‘I saw my woman getting a bit too friendly with another bloke.’
‘I’m not yours! I’m not your property! I can talk to another human being if I want to!’
‘Yeah?’ He reached for her wrist again. ‘Well, you can talk to me on the plane.’
‘No!’ Esme yanked her arm free again. ‘I’m not coming.’
‘Esme, stop pissing about. It’s cost me an arm and a leg to come and fetch you and now you tell me you’re not coming back with me?’
‘Tomorrow, Warren. I’m coming back tomorrow, just like I’m supposed to. Not until then.’
He looked even more confused. ‘What am I supposed to do?’
‘You could wait until tomorrow if you’re so determined to travel with me.’
‘How the hell am I supposed to do that?’
‘I don’t know. I suppose you’ll just have to wait until the morning.’
‘Wait? Where?’
‘Have you booked a hotel?’
‘Why would I book a hotel?’
‘You thought I’d come straight back with you like a good, obedient girl? You thought I wouldn’t even question it?’ In days gone by Warren could have made such an assumption safely. He’d have told her to jump and she would have got a pad to write down his height requirements. But not anymore.
‘You’re not coming then?’ he asked, looking as if the conversation was rapidly losing him. Perhaps it was – Warren wasn’t used to people telling him no.
Esme turned to Niko now. ‘Know any good hotels?’
‘Plenty,’ Niko said with a wry smile of his own. ‘But with vacancies tonight – I would be very doubtful of that.’
Esme chewed on her lip for a moment. Then she turned to Warren. ‘If you want to travel with me tomorrow then you’ll have to stay with me tonight. In the spare bed in my room,’ she added quickly. ‘I suppose it would give us time to talk anyway.’
‘What about the flight I booked for us?’
‘What about it?’
‘We’ll miss it.’
‘I’ve told you – catch yours if you want to, but mine’s wasted money, I’m afraid, because I intend to keep my original booking. Perhaps the airline will let you change yours if you want to stay the night. Perhaps they’ll let you have a refund for mine. If you’re not happy with any of that, there’s not a lot I can do about it. The offer of a bed is there, but if you really feel strongly that you want to go back tonight then I’m not going to stop you.’
‘You’d let me fly alone?’
‘I don’t know how you expected anything else. I did tell you on the phone that I wouldn’t come home early.’
Warren opened his mouth to speak but then clamped it shut again. He glowered at her, a look of fury that would have had her changing her mind in days gone by. But she wasn’t backing down tonight. Wasn’t she Matilda Greenwood’s granddaughter? Esme had no idea where that girl had been hiding for the past few years but she was here now and things were going to be different.
‘I can’t afford another ticket for tomorrow!’ Warren whined, changing tack to try to persuade Esme to back down. ‘I’ve spent everything I have getting here already!’
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t help with that. Maybe you should have taken more notice of what I’d said on the phone before you made the booking.’
Esme began to walk. She’d wanted to hear more from Niko about Zach, and then she’d wanted to find Zach and hear it all in his words and maybe set things straight between the two of them, armed with a new understanding of all he’d been through. But now Warren was here and she couldn’t do any of that. All she could do was try to sort one mess at a time, starting with the one that was currently watching her leave, stubbornly refusing to accept a version of her that he’d never known.
‘I’ll walk with you!’ Niko called. He jogged to catch up, and that was enough to have Warren dashing to her other side.
‘Back off!’ he growled.
‘Warren…’ Esme turned to him. ‘I can assure you that Niko is not remotely interested in me.’
‘What makes you so sure?’
‘I might be interested in you, however,’ Niko said with a mocking smile.
‘If you weren’t making yourself look like such an arse right now,’ Esme added.
Niko’s smile became a grin, showing a flash of that old, carefree charm again, while Warren looked confused and then horrified. He was such an alpha male it was almost laughable.
‘Niko
…’ Esme said gently. ‘While I appreciate the sentiment, I really need to talk to Warren. Alone. So you don’t need to worry about me – go back to the fireworks and enjoy the last hour.’
‘But—’
‘I’ll be fine – honestly. There’s no need to worry.’
‘Where are you going?’ Niko asked, throwing a look of deepest distrust at Warren.
‘The simplest thing would be to go back to my hotel for a bit of quiet. And maybe a glass or two of lakka.’
Niko grinned again. ‘Zach said you liked it.’
Warren’s expression had eased as Esme had talked of taking him back to the hotel, but then it tensed again.
‘Who’s Zach?’
‘My lover,’ Niko said, and Esme gave a grateful smile for the white lie that had perhaps come just a little too easily to him. He turned back to Esme, who nodded to reassure him that she’d be OK. Then, with a last glance at Warren, he turned on his heel and started back to the fireworks party. She and Warren headed in the opposite direction, and as they walked she half imagined that every few yards Niko would turn and check on her, but she didn’t look back to see.
Twenty-One
‘Why are you doing this?’ Warren’s voice cut through the silence. Esme was still thinking about Zach and what Niko had told her and she was finding it hard to focus on the more immediate problem of Warren’s arrival. In reality, while it was rotten timing, it had only served to hasten a moment she’d gradually realised had been coming for some time. Perhaps it was a blessing after all. She just had to keep it together now and stay strong to take advantage of it.
‘I don’t know what you mean. I’m doing my best to help you out here.’
‘You’re hurting me. You’re making me look like a mug.’
‘I don’t mean to. The flight problem – that’s your mess.’
‘I don’t mean the flights. I don’t give a shit about the flights.’
‘Then what do you mean?’
‘I love you, babe. I came all this way to get you – and I haven’t even got a proper coat. How can you throw it back in my face like this?’
‘I know you think you love me…’
‘You don’t think I do? Why would I fly all this way to get you if I didn’t love you?’
‘If you loved me you’d have flown all this way with me in the first place. Not just to take me back because it was annoying you that I’m not doing what you want, but because you wanted to be with me. You knew how much this trip meant to me and you knew why. It wasn’t a case of me being unreasonable, demanding, spoilt. It was because of what it represented – that was why I wanted to come.’
‘You think the only reason I’m here now is because you were annoying me?’
‘Isn’t it? You and I both know the truth. Perhaps I didn’t quite phrase it right – you’re here now not really because you’re annoyed at me, because annoyance is too mild. The reason you’re here now is because you’re proud and you hate to lose. You love to call the shots. Usually you do – with me, with Shelly… but this time you can’t and you don’t know how to deal with that.’
‘What the hell does that mean?’
‘It’s a battle of wills. It’s always been about control for you. You always win, but just this once you were scared you might not. So you pull out all the stops – fly over here, take me home, get me settled in the flat again, pile on the guilt for what I’d done to you, make certain I don’t ever want to do it again and preserve your unbroken record of wins over Esme.’
‘You’re not making any sense.’
‘For the first time in a long time I am making sense.’
‘So you’re not coming home with me?’
Esme turned her face to the heavens, clinging onto the scream of frustration building in her throat. How many times did she have to explain this?
‘I’ve told you already that I’ll come back when I’m supposed to.’ She turned once more to the road ahead. ‘When did you arrive in Rovaniemi?’
‘This morning.’
‘This morning? So what on earth have you been doing all day?’
‘Trying to find you,’ he said, a new tone of accusation in his voice. ‘You weren’t at the hotel you said you’d be at and I went there at least four times to look for you.’
She turned to him. ‘Didn’t it occur to you that I’m on holiday and that being on holiday might mean leaving the hotel occasionally?’
‘You were gone all day.’
‘I was with some friends.’
‘Who? That bloke I just saw you with?’
‘No. And it was nobody who might be a threat to you, if that’s what you’re thinking. Even then, you’ve no right to lecture me when you’ve been trying to get back with Shelly!’ She paused, tried to even out her tone again.
His mouth turned into a perfect O of shock, but Esme waved an impatient hand at him.
‘Don’t think I don’t know about that.’
‘But, babe—’
‘Don’t bother; I don’t need your excuses. When’s your flight out?’
‘What does it matter if you’re not coming?’
‘I’m just trying to work out what we need to do if you want to be on it. I’m assuming you do want to be on it, as you said you couldn’t afford another and you don’t seem all that keen to organise anything else with the airline.’
‘They wouldn’t let me organise anything else.’
‘You’re not even interested in asking, are you? Still convinced that I’m going to change my mind and come with you. I’m right, aren’t I?’
‘I don’t see what difference it makes to you anyway. Tonight, tomorrow… it’s nearly the end of your holiday and you said you’re supposed to be flying out in the morning anyway.’
‘But maybe there are people I want to see before I go.’
‘Like who?’
‘My friends.’
Warren sniffed. ‘I don’t see why these friends you’ve only just met are so important.’
‘I know – you wouldn’t. Nobody’s important to you. Except you, of course.’
‘What does that mean? What’s happened to you? Why are you being like this?’
Esme shook her head. ‘So what time is your flight supposed to be? The one you’ve got booked?’
‘Midnight,’ Warren replied, sounding like a sulky teen.
Peeling back a mitten she checked her watch. ‘It doesn’t leave you much time to get back to the airport if you’re going to catch it.’
‘I don’t understand why you’re being like this,’ he said, ignoring her warning. ‘Just tell me what’s happened. It’s got to be another bloke!’
‘Nothing’s happened and it’s not another bloke.’
‘I knew I shouldn’t have let you come here.’
Esme turned to him, incredulous. ‘You didn’t!’
‘I couldn’t stop you, could I? You came anyway after I told you I didn’t want to. I didn’t expect you to come on your own.’
‘Exactly – you had the option to come with me. I never once said you couldn’t – in fact, I wanted you to. You knew how much this trip meant to me and it would have cost you nothing to come. But still you said no. You can hardly blame me for coming without you. Why shouldn’t I?’
‘Yeah, well, I’m here now – freezing my balls off. This was why I never wanted to come in the first place.’
‘Yes, you’re here to take me home early.’ Esme stopped walking and inclined her head at a brightly lit building. ‘This is my hotel.’
‘Yeah. I know – remember. I’ve spent all day hanging around it waiting to see you.’
‘I didn’t ask you to.’
‘Well, I did. That should mean something to you.’
‘Should I call a taxi for you? To take you to the airport?’
‘Babe… Don’t do this…’
‘Or you can come into the hotel and stay with me until tomorrow and we’ll see about getting you on a flight then. Of course, there’s no guarantee that the
re’ll be room on my flight so we might have to make it the next one they have, but there’s not a lot I can do about that now. So it’s your choice really whether you stay tonight and take that risk or whether you go now on your own.’
‘Please…’
Her glance went to the hotel windows. She half expected to see Niko in there waiting for her, perhaps having raced down a shortcut to head them off. Or maybe even Zach. But the brightly lit bar was almost empty, apart from a member of staff cleaning tables and a couple on a corner sofa wrapped in each other’s arms. It was hard not to be disappointed by the absence of an ally, but she couldn’t think of that now, and, in reality, either one of those men being at the hotel waiting for her might only complicate things again. Perhaps it was better that she was on her own with this after all, as the reason she was in this mess that only she could sort out was because she’d never grown the backbone she’d needed to deal with Warren long before now.
She turned back to him and held him in a frank gaze. ‘Warren…’ she began slowly, ‘what do you think of my hair?’
‘What?’
‘My hair. It’s short again. I took the extensions out.’
‘But you can put them back in, can’t you?’
‘I don’t think I want to.’
‘Oh.’
‘And I’ve put on a little padding this week.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’ve eaten like a pig. Cakes morning, noon and night. Probably put on about half a stone. What do you think of that?’
He smiled, letting out a long breath of relief. ‘If that’s all you’re worried about, babe, we can get it fixed. Extra gym for the next few weeks, a low-carb detox and you’ll be back to your normal size again.’
‘Only it’s not my normal size – it’s the size you want me to be.’
‘You look good that size.’
‘You think I look good that size.’
‘But you do.’
‘Why?’
‘You—’
‘I don’t want to be that size. It makes me miserable trying to stay that size. And I bloody hate your gym. I don’t want to see it ever again. I don’t want to wear that horrible itchy underwear you love so much, and I don’t want to spend half my life on Oxford Street trying to guess what clothes you’d like to see me in, and I don’t want to be woken up at three in the morning for a cheese toastie when you’ve had one too many at The Duke.’
The Christmas Wish: A heartwarming Christmas romance Page 25
