My Life as the Ugly Stepsister

by Juli Alexander

  I smiled at Jonathan’s sleeping face next to me and squeezed his hand.

  Then I realized we were not alone. The dogs weren’t barking at a jogger. They were barking at an intruder. Sadly, not a serial killer. Worse. Way worse.

  Chapter Ten

  Dads are generally oblivious, but God help you if they ever start paying attention.

  –Ally’s Brutal Teen Truths

  A tall form was standing over my head, and I looked up to see my dad, his face red with fury.

  “Allison Margaret Wright.”

  I jumped and released Jonathan’s hand. He was a split second behind me, jumping to his feet, and sputtering to my father that it wasn’t what it looked like.

  My dad didn’t bother to be polite to Jonathan. He just said in this menacing tone, “I will deal with you later.” Then he turned to me. “Ally, get your butt inside.”

  I got my butt inside. I ran as fast as I could back to Dad’s house.

  Diane was standing in the kitchen pouring some orange juice. She was wearing a robe, and honestly she looked like hell. She must have forgotten her makeup this morning.

  My eyes darted toward the hall, but I knew I couldn’t hide in my room. Once I explained, Dad would probably be reasonable. Yeah, right.

  I stalked across the kitchen tiles to the table and pulled out a chair, which sent a noise of protest as it scraped against the floor. Dad stormed in milliseconds later, and a quick calculation told me that he hadn’t had enough time to do Jonathan bodily harm.

  He slammed the front door so hard the paintings in the foyer rattled and the crooked pots danced over the stove.

  Diane gave me a wide-eyed look revealing blood-shot eyes.

  Before she could say anything, Dad said, “Diane, I need a moment with my daughter, please.”

  My dad rarely lost his temper. Diane gulped, picked up her glass of juice, and left the room.

  My dad walked over to the table, crossed his arms, and said in a menacing voice, “Now would you like to tell me why I found my fourteen-year-old daughter sleeping with a boy at the neighbor’s house?”

  My mind raced with possible approaches to defuse his anger. I didn’t come up with anything that might work. Dad was furious. “I was trying to help Mojo.”

  Dad raised a brow. “Mojo?”

  “He was, um, barking a lot.” I kept my eyes on my fingernails. “So I went over there to quiet him down. He gets upset when I leave, and I didn’t want him to wake the whole neighborhood.”

  “Diane told me he was doing fine. I haven’t heard him barking much at all.”

  “Well,” I gulped and risked a glance at him. “Yeah. Because I’ve been going over there.”

  This throbbing vein suddenly appeared on Dad’s forehead. I’d never noticed it before.

  “Are you telling me that you’ve been sleeping over there every night?”

  Oh, crap. I probably shouldn’t have shared that piece of information. “Yes,” I squeaked. “But it wasn’t anything bad, Dad. I was just keeping Mojo quiet.”

  Through his clenched jaw, he asked, “And why was the boy there?”

  Hmm. That wasn’t so easy to explain. “Well. I guess he felt sorry for me, so he slept on the cot.” Yeah, it wasn’t sounding so good.

  “That doesn’t make any sense at all.”

  “Well, um, I guess he was trying to help me keep his parents from noticing. I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

  “You didn’t want to cause any trouble.” Dad’s vein throbbed. “Well, missy, you’ve got plenty of trouble now.”

  See, I had already figured that part out for myself. I’m pretty clever that way.

  “I don’t even know where to start. No. I do. Go to your room,” Dad ordered, pointing with a violent motion toward my room. “Now!”

  I went. I heard Dad talking to Diane in the kitchen. Caroline came in, sleepy-eyed. “What’s going on? Are you okay? Is Ted yelling?”

  I sat on the bed hugging my pillow to my chest. “Big mess. Not okay. Yes, he’s yelling.”

  Caroline was immediately fully alert. She came in and shut the door. “Do tell.”

  So, I told her. About the dogs and the nighttime talks and the sleeping outside.

  She clapped her hands together. “Oh my God, Ally. Are you dating him?”

  “No.” I shook my head. She was getting the wrong idea. “I don’t know if he really likes me. Except as a friend.”

  “Did he kiss you?” Her face brightened at the juicy gossip.

  “Well, yeah, but it was the middle of the night. It was like we weren’t really us, you know. Like magical sort of.”

  “He likes you.” She grinned and sat on the bed bouncing with excitement.

  She didn’t ask if I liked him. I guess it was pretty obvious. “I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway. I’ll never be allowed to leave my room again.”

  “Sure you will,” Caroline said. “I’ll offer to keep an eye on you. That way I can close my eyes at just the right moments.”

  “Dad won’t go for that. And I don’t know if there will be any more moments.”

  “He can’t watch you all day and all night. He’s gone most of the time. Trust me. He’ll calm down.”

  “Poor Mojo,” I said.

  I showered and dressed for school, which wasn’t easy with my mind flying in a million directions at once. Jonathan kissed me. His beautiful face, the feel of his hands, Dad’s horror.

  Finally, Dad delivered the verdict. He pointed for me to sit on the living room couch. He stood, towering over me as I glanced at the easel and the craft table. I’d never sat in here before.

  “You will not go next door unless Caroline or Diane accompany you. Mojo will spend the days over there, and at night, he can sleep with you in the family room downstairs.”

  Before I could comprehend it, he added, “And we’re installing an alarm system. There will be no more sneaking out.”

  At least he wasn’t locking me in the house. “But…What about Diane’s allergies.”

  Dad just gave me this exasperated look. “I guess she’ll double her antihistamines.”

  Later, I realized what he really meant. Diane’s allergies trumped my dog. But my virginity trumped her allergies. Score one for me.

  “Wow,” Diane said Friday evening while we waited for dad to get back from the grocery. We were grilling out. “I think he even did a search for chastity belts on the Internet.”

  Caroline laughed from across the kitchen table. “They don’t make those anymore. Those were like medieval, right?”

  “Nothing happened,” I said, sipping at my green tea. I was too downtrodden to argue when Diane handed it to me. As if my virginity were actually in danger. It had taken me fourteen years to get a real kiss. Plus, I had a pact with my friends. We weren’t having sex until we were at least eighteen. Yeah, the traditional catholic teaching was to wait until marriage, but we’d made some modifications. Eighteen seemed entirely reasonable. We weren’t going to end up pregnant teenagers. MC had an aunt who’d gone that route, and it hadn’t turned out well.

  I’d learned that my dad had gotten a flight in the wee hours of the morning. He’d come in from the airport and checked on all of us. I wasn’t in my bed. Then at school, I’d been busted for passing notes in class, saved from total social ruin only by the cryptic nature of my conversation with Madison.

  “I thought you were going out with your friends tonight, Caroline,” Diane said.

  Caroline glanced at me. “I canceled. I thought you guys might need me around here.”

  She’d ditched her friends to help me out? Wow. I was truly touched. “Thanks, Caroline.”

  “Ted is wigging out pretty bad,” Diane said. “He did an extra two hours on the Nordic Track. I think the part that really got him was that you were holding hands while you slept.”

  “What?” Caroline squealed. “You didn’t tell me that part. That’s even bigger than the kiss!”

  I glanced at Diane, but Caroline w
aved away my concern. “She knows you kissed him. How could you not?”

  Great. I grimaced.

  “Besides, Ally. This is huge. Holding hands in the mall is one thing. In a movie is a bigger deal. But at night while you sleep! That’s way intimate. He so likes you.”

  The heat rose in my cheeks. It was hard enough discussing this with Caroline, but with Diane too. No thanks.

  Fortunately, there hadn’t been anyone home next door when Caroline and I went over to play with Buddy after school. I wasn’t ready to face Jonathan yet. Much less his parents. And with someone, Caroline of all people, watching? It would make me way too nervous. But I was desperate to know what my dad had said to them. I’d been miserable all day that I’d gotten Jonathan in trouble.

  The JV football team at Plum didn’t start games until next week. That meant this was Caroline’s last free Friday night and she’d given it up for me. Were we actually friends?

  “What time am I supposed to bring Mojo over?” I asked Diane.

  “As late as possible. Right before bed on school nights, and then on weekends, whenever you’re serious about going to sleep.”

  She sounded resigned to the whole thing. I guess my father had put his foot down.

  “I’ll sleep downstairs with you tonight,” Caroline said. “To babysit you so you don’t sneak out.” From her tone, she was kidding.

  “Can you have some friends over tomorrow night, Ally?” Diane asked. “I think your father would find that reassuring. Caroline is spending the night at Haley’s.”

  “Sure. MC or Madison would come.”

  “Invite them both,” Diane suggested. “It will distract your father.”

  I wasn’t going to argue. “I’ll go call them.”

  I’d never seen my dad standing so stiffly at the grill. Usually cooking steaks made him Mr. Happy Guy. Not today. He did appear to have calmed down some, but he wasn’t back to normal by any means.

  “I’d like to talk to you after dinner, Ally,” he said when I brought him a plate for the steaks. “In private.”

  I pasted a smile on my face. “Sure thing, Dad.” This could not be good. I slid a look at Caroline.

  She grimaced.

  As I walked past her, I whispered, “Pray for me.”

  She giggled.

  “No, I mean it,” I hissed with a glance at Dad.

  “Oh, come on. How bad could it be?”

  Mojo and Buddy barked excitedly about the smell of meat in the air. They were standing in the middle of Jonathan’s yard watching us. Dad didn’t seem to even notice them.

  Dad served up the steaks and removed his Grillmaster apron to sit at the table with us. Diane had cut up some fresh tomatoes and baked some potatoes.

  Diane and Caroline tried to keep up the conversation during dinner, but Dad and I were no help. Finally, he pushed back his chair and nodded in my direction.

  I followed Dad down to his office. He sat behind the desk and pointed to the chair. I sat. I felt like I was being interrogated by the FBI. The only thing missing was the bare lightbulb and whatever torture devices. Dads didn’t need torture devices. They already had you in their clutches. Plus, they could always use the disappointment card to manipulate you. Suspects had all kinds of rights. Teenage daughters, not so much.

  Dad kept me squirming for a few minutes by just staring at me with this resigned expression.

  Finally, he said, “Your mother assured me that she had taken care of discussing s—” he sputtered but couldn’t quite get the word out, “the birds and the bees.”

  “She did. She has. Everything’s fine. We don’t need to have a talk.” My assurances didn’t seem to help.

  “The thing is Ally, I know you are more comfortable talking about these things with your mother.” There was that vein again.

  “Yes.” If I could just head him off…

  “Unfortunately, your mother has never been a teenage boy. And I have. I think it would be remiss of me if I didn’t share with you exactly what goes through the mind of a teenage boy.”

  Oh. No! I didn’t want to be privy to any thoughts my dad had ever had on this particular subject. “It’s really not necessary—”

  “It is necessary, Ally,” he said in a firm tone. “In fact, I shouldn’t have waited this long. You see, teenage boys are base sex hounds with nothing on their minds besides getting into a girl’s panties.”

  My jaw dropped. Dads should never say “sex hounds” or “panties.” Ever.

  How could I make it stop? “Dad, it was innocent really.”

  He held up a hand. “It’s never innocent, Ally. Boys cannot be trusted. They will say whatever they think you want to hear. They are completely controlled by hormones, and honestly almost incapable of any sort of rational thought when a girl is around. Teenage boys have no redeeming values whatsoever.”

  Now he had to be exaggerating.

  But the lecture was just beginning, and thirty minutes later I stumbled from the room in a daze. Pregnancy, disease, lies… Boys were apparently the antichrist. What would he have said if I’d been a boy? Or if I had a brother?

  One thing was for sure. I was really lucky those chastity belts weren’t around anymore.

  Caroline was sitting on my bed when I got upstairs.

  “Did you survive?” she asked.

  I just nodded. “It was a close call.” I shut my door and sat at my desk. “Does your father give you lectures on how teenage boys are the spawn of Satan?”

  The corner of her lip quirked. “Not exactly. I don’t think he’d say that because of my stepbrothers. But he has given me the whole, ‘boys only want one thing’ lecture.”

  “Do our fathers think we’re stupid?”

  “No. I think they just worry.”

  “My mom worries about everything, but this is the first time Dad’s really gotten involved.”

  “Yeah. I think you’re right. Moms worry about everything we do. Dads just worry about us having sex.”

  “So what does your dad do when you bring a guy home?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “It hasn’t really happened. I moved up here before I started really dating. I had boyfriends at school, but we just ate lunch together and stuff.”

  “Does my dad act weird when you have a guy here?”

  She thought about it for a minute. “I don’t think he’s really ever here. Plus, my mom and Ted have a deal. He doesn’t interfere with her parenting decisions and she doesn’t interfere with his.”

  “Really? How weird.”

  With a shrug, she said, “Whatever works.” She uncrossed her legs and climbed off the bed. “Let’s head downstairs for the night. We’ll bring Mojo in early.”

  I think I was starting to like this having a sister thing.

  When I reached the gate to Jonathan’s yard, it hit me that I’d never be alone with him again. I knew it was ridiculous to be nostalgic about our time together, but that didn’t stop the sentimental yearning.

  “What’s wrong?” Caroline asked from behind me.

  With a shake of my head, I answered, “Nothing.” No reason to tell her what a total dork I was.

  Buddy and Mojo bounded over immediately, jumping all over us.

  I realized we couldn’t just grab Mojo and leave. Jonathan would need to know that Buddy was alone out here. Otherwise he’d bark. They’d probably let Buddy in if I took my dog.

  “I think we have to knock on the door,” I told Caroline and explained the situation.

  With one look, Caroline took in my trepidation. “I’ll do it. You can just wait with the dogs.”

  “No. I’ll do it. I’ll just look like a wimp if I don’t.” I just hoped his mother wouldn’t answer. I didn’t know if I could face her after my father had talked to them. No telling what he’d said. I hoped he’d at least omitted the part about holding hands.

  “Ally,” Caroline said. “You aren’t moving. Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” I started off toward the patio door as fast as I could. Don’
t think about what Dad may have said. Don’t think about Jonathan’s mom’s reaction. I was so busy talking myself through this encounter that I forgot to watch where I was stepping.

  I sank into the grass a little farther than I expected, and when I looked down, I saw my malodorous mistake. I’d stepped into a pile of dog doo.

  Caroline, of course, had noticed. She rushed over. “Oh my God, Ally. I’m so sorry.” But then she cracked up.

  I glared at her, then turned my attention to wiping the bulk of the offensive substance on the grass.

  “I know it’s not funny, I just can’t— ” Caroline almost collapsed with her giggles.

  I fought the urge to grab her and wipe my shoe on her sandal. Okay, so I did snatch her arm and try to, but she wiggled away to safety.

  “You really do have the worst luck,” Caroline said from a safe distance. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  “I prefer to think of it as just having a really bad day,” I said. I kept walking around the yard, scraping the dog crap from my shoe. I’d never get it all off, but I was really hoping for most of it.

  “Yeah, but it hasn’t been that good a month for you either,” Caroline started.

  “Caro!” I yelled, calling her that for the first time. “Please stop. I don’t want to think about it.”

  I thought I had most of it off now. Ignoring Caroline’s laughter…Geez! Would she never stop? I started for the patio again.

  The door slid open and Jonathan appeared with his mother close behind.

  I guess we’d been making some noise between the laughing and hopping around the yard. My heart skipped a beat. Jonathan looked really good in his jeans. I’d never seen him in jeans before.

  Whoever invented jeans deserved my thanks.

  “Ally,” Jonathan’s mother said, drawing my attention from her son’s hot bod. “I’m so glad to see you.”

  “Mrs. Coleman, I’m so sorry.”

  She interrupted my apology. “Nothing to be sorry about, Ally. I know your father was upset, but Jonathan has explained everything to me. You’re welcome here any time.”