Star (1989)

by Steel, Danielle

She smiled up at him gratefully, unaware of the picture she made just sitting there easily in her blue jeans and her boots and her old shirt and her pale gold hair. I think you already have.

  I hope so. Her benefactor smiled benignly at her and told her where to change, while he went to turn the lights on in the pool. And a moment later she emerged again in a white bathing suit that took his breath away. She had no idea how devastating she was, which was just as well. He liked that about her. And the audience would too. He never forgot that.

  I hope it's warm enough. He watched her slip into the water, and then went to change as she floated happily. The pool was enormous and warm and she thought she had never been as comfortable in her life. She looked up at him happily when he returned, wrapped in a luxurious white towel. It was tied tightly around his waist, and as she watched, he untied it, and she gasped. He was naked. She discreetly turned away, afraid to embarrass him, and she heard him laugh. Don't worry, Crystal. I won't rape you. I've never been accused of that. But he had been accused of other things, of which she knew nothing. He slipped easily into the pool, and she began to swim quietly, afraid she might see something that she shouldn't. And as he passed her, he smiled at her. Why don't you take your suit off too? It's so warm it's like being in a bathtub. He seemed to have no ulterior motive, he was just at ease with himself, and with her, and he made no attempt to touch her as she smiled and tried to look unconcerned, but knowing that he was naked made her nervous.

  No, I'll be all right. Thanks.

  As you like, my dear. He was very smooth, and very smart, and he never rushed the current object of his attentions. They all came to him in time, for one reason or another. And a moment later, he stepped out easily, standing casually beside the pool, and without wanting to, she had noticed that he had a beautiful body. He was long and lean and trim, and he swam every day. He had the body of a much younger man as he offered her more champagne, but she didn't dare look at him, and suddenly he wondered again if she was a virgin. It would have been inconvenient certainly, but no obstacle was insuperable. He would have been willing to make the sacrifice for her, but as he looked at her, he had to smile. She was flapping around like a fish, trying desperately not to look nervous. If I turn down the lights a little bit, will you feel better? I'm afraid it's a terrible idiosyncrasy of mine. I hate bathing suits. You'll have to forgive me.

  Not at all. She tried to seem grown up and behave the way she thought a movie star would, but he was making her extremely nervous. And before she could answer, he turned the lights in the room down low. There were only dim lights in the pool, and lights near the ceiling that looked like candles.

  Better?

  Much. She lied.

  He took a sip of champagne and slipped back into the water again, and this time he swam directly at her, and took her waist firmly in his hands under the water. She froze suddenly, looking into his eyes as he held her.

  What are you going to do to me? She was terrified.

  Make you a movie star. He whispered softly, but suddenly she wondered what he wanted in exchange for that. Maybe the stories about Hollywood were true, but she prayed silently that this time they wouldn't be ' please God ' not this time ' I won't hurt you, Crystal. Trust me. She nodded, unable to speak as he held her, and slowly, ever so slowly he moved closer to her and kissed her. You're very beautiful ' the most beautiful woman I've ever seen probably. He kissed her again and she started to cry.

  Please ' don't ' please ' She was shaking so violently that it touched him.

  I'm sorry, little girl. I didn't mean to frighten you. I only want you to be happy. And then, as she stared at him, he swam to the edge, got out, and wrapped himself in the towel again, and she was openmouthed with amazement. He liked her, he admired her, he wasn't going to rape her. She felt desperately foolish suddenly, and went to sit next to him at the edge as he sipped his champagne.

  I'm so sorry ' She knew she had to explain her behavior. I was raped four years ago ' I'm afraid I ' I thought ' She started to cry and he gently put his arms around her, as he whispered, I'm so sorry. Don't be afraid of me. If you're honest with me, I'll never hurt you. There was a veiled threat in that, but Crystal was too relieved to notice. She sank against him gratefully and let him hold the champagne glass while she sipped it.

  This is all so new to me. And everything has happened so suddenly. I don't know what to think half the time. I'm sorry if I behaved like a jerk.

  It's all right. He smiled benevolently. You're a cute jerk, and I like you. It sounded like something Spencer might have said and his understanding touched her. Do you want to go back now, Crystal? I know you have to get up early. Or do you want to swim for a little while?

  She needed to relax again, after her terrible stupidity, and she looked at him with open eyes, the deep blue taking him by surprise, she was so lovely. Actually, I'd like to swim for a while. Is that all right? Are you in a hurry?

  He laughed and shook his head. Of course not.

  She let her guard down this time, and it seemed less ominous when he slipped the towel off again and got back into the water. She swam laps for a while, and then floated on her back, and then suddenly she looked over and he was beside her. He turned on his stomach so as not to embarrass her, and then gently leaned forward and kissed her again, and this time she didn't fight him. She felt she owed him that much for making such a fool of herself before, but as he kissed her, he gently caressed her breasts, and she was startled to discover that she liked it. She started to swim away from him, but he followed her, not with any violence, but only swimming gracefully along with her, his hands touching her, and then slipping into her bathing suit as he kissed her again. She wanted him to stop, and yet for a moment of sheer madness, she knew she didn't. She swam to the steps and tried to catch her breath, and then she felt him behind her, slowly peeling her wet suit from her elegant body. She started to turn to look at him, but he pressed himself against her back, his hands making music as he worked them expertly. She threw her head back in sudden anguish and moaned softly.

  Ernie, don't ' There was no conviction in the words this time, as he touched her again and again, his fingers agonizingly gentle. He was a master, and she was only a novice. She had walked into his trap with him, and for the moment, she didn't even know it. Oh God ' don't ' please ' He stopped just as suddenly, as though at her command, and her whole body shuddered as she turned to him, waiting expectantly, and without saying a word, he pressed forward and entered her just beneath the water. Her eyes grew wide in astonishment but within seconds, the pleasure of him overtook her. He made love to her like a symphony and when the crescendo rose, it was Crystal who pressed him close to her, wishing he would never stop. And afterward, as he smiled at her, she was embarrassed. She couldn't blame him for what he'd done, she had wanted it. It wasn't that she wanted him, but what he'd done to her was like nothing else she had ever known. Not even with Spencer.

  Are you angry at me? He looked worried and she frowned at him, angry not at him, but at herself.

  No, she whispered hoarsely, I don't know what happened to me ' I '

  I'm flattered. He kissed her lightly and touched her nipples again, and within moments she was aching for him. He spent hours in the pool with her, making love to her, and at midnight, he carried her slowly upstairs. The bedroom was all white velvet and thick furs, foxes, bears, and a white mink bedspread he laid her on, dripping wet, as he dried her carefully with a towel, and attended to all the right places first with the towel that had been wrapped around his waist, then with gentle fingers, and finally with his lips and a tongue that darted in and out of her like fireflies. She was screaming for him when he finally gave in to her, and they indulged their passion all night long. She had never done anything like it before. It had been different with Spencer before he left. This was anguished, frightening, and no matter how often he took her, Crystal found she wanted more. It was almost like a drug, she thought to herself, but it wasn't. It was an extraordinary power he had
, an expertise, and a desire to teach her new things. But she was frightened when at last they stopped.

  What are you doing to me? She was exhausted, and she had to leave for work in half an hour. She had never experienced anything like it.

  All my favorite things, my pretty girl. And then he smiled at her almost wickedly. Once more?

  No ' no ' She shook her head. She couldn't explain it to herself, and she knew she had to get away from him, or she was afraid she might want him to do it all again. She took a hot shower, and then a cold, but he left her alone. There were steaming coffee and hot rolls waiting for her when she came out dressed again, and she stared at him. Why are you doing all this for me?

  He laughed, and touched her cheek with a single finger then, smiling happily. Because you're mine. As long as you want to be anyway. How does that sound to you? It sounded frightening, and it sounded wrong. And yet he had given her the career she had always wanted. He had given her escorts to take her out, he had even given her new clothes. And now he had given her a night like no other she had ever known. Was that so wrong? But secretly she knew it was. And she felt desperately guilty. And the thought of Spencer almost broke her heart. The memory of what they'd shared seemed sullied now somehow. That had been all innocence and love. But this was different. She felt like a harlot. She didn't love this man, but he had been good to her, and if he wanted her for a time, what harm was there in it? Was it really so wrong? There were people who would have told her she was playing with fire, and there were others who would have told her he was a kind man. Both were true. He was many things. But for the moment, he wished her no harm. He kissed her again gently then, and when she left for work, he told her to take the Rolls.

  How will you get back?

  I'll have my driver come out and pick me up. Don't worry, little girl. I'll be fine. He kissed her gently again, and the merest touch of him reminded her of what he'd done to her the night before. It was a far cry from what Tom Parker had done to her on the barn floor ' and it was farther still from what she and Spencer had shared ' there was no love in this, but Ernie was here now, he was good to her ' and what did it matter anyway? ' Spencer was gone. Forever.

  That afternoon when Crystal went back to the hotel, there was a package waiting for her. She took it upstairs and opened it carefully, and her eyes grew wide with embarrassment and amazement. It was a diamond bracelet from Ernie. She didn't know what to do with it, she was afraid to put it on. She just sat holding it and shaking. She was still horrified at what she'd done the night before. She'd never done anything like it, and she never wanted to see him again, except that night when he called, he was gentle and kind, and he seemed to sense what she felt without having to say it.

  Did you like the bracelet? He sounded like a child who had brought flowers to his mother.

  I ' yes ' Ernie ' it's incredible. But I can't keep it. It made her feel like a paid whore. There was no love between them at all, just the amazing things he had done to her body.

  Why not? Pretty girls deserve pretty things. At least he didn't tell her she'd earned it. Can I come by in a little while?

  No ' I ' She started to cry silently, still afraid of him, and her own reactions. She didn't know what had happened to her the night before. And all day on the set she'd been consumed with guilt as she tried not to think of Spencer.

  Baby, I won't hurt you. He sounded sad and she felt sorry for him. It wasn't his fault she'd behaved so badly. At least she didn't think so. He hadn't forced her. He had lured her, with his caresses and his nimble fingers. I just want to talk to you for a little while.

  I'll meet you in the lobby.

  That's fine. I'll be there in half an hour. He was wearing slacks and a clean white shirt, with a cashmere sweater thrown over his shoulders when he arrived, and he strode in and kissed her lightly on the cheek, as heads turned. He was a well-known figure in Hollywood, and she was a very beautiful woman.

  He ordered drinks for them at the bar, and she sat looking awkward and embarrassed as he gently took her hand in his own, and he seemed to know just what she was thinking. Don't feel bad about what happened last night. It was natural, and beautiful. We can be friends, you and I. But friends didn't make love in the swimming pool all night, and Crystal eyed him with tear-filled eyes.

  I don't know what happened. She wanted to tell him how much she loved Spencer, how long she had waited for him. But she didn't. How much he had meant to her before he left her. It wasn't important anymore. She had a right to her own life, but not with a man like Ernie. He was too rich for her blood, too experienced, too powerful, and she knew it. I think I just went a little crazy. It was a poor excuse, but it was all she could say to him as he sipped his drink and smiled, struck again by her wondrous beauty. She had the kind of face that made people stop and stare at her, and made men want to reach out and touch her. He had seen the rushes of her film the day before, and it was obvious that the camera loved her.

  I went a little crazy too. There's no harm in it, Crystal. And you're such a pretty girl, I just lost control of myself. Will you forgive me? He knew just how to handle her as she watched him cautiously. That's why I sent you the bracelet. To apologize for last night. He knew just how guilty she felt, and he wanted her to think of it as an apology, and not a payment. He knew to her that would be important. She was a lot different from most of the starlets he took out, who were only too happy to offer their bodies in exchange for his favors. But this one was a different breed entirely. She was decent and warm, and way out of her league. But he liked that. I'm sorry, Crystal ' His eyes seemed so sincere, and she began to feel a little better. Maybe they had both just gone a little mad, she tried to tell herself she was as responsible for it as he was, but she didn't know Ernie Salvatore. One day you'll look at it as a souvenir of your early days in Hollywood. You can show it to your children. She had hesitated, but he had looked so hurt when she tried to give the bracelet back, that in the end he'd convinced her to keep it. Can we start over again?

  She nodded slowly, not sure she wanted to, but she felt beholden to him again as he told her how beautiful she had looked in the rushes. It was all thanks to him after all, and they sat for a long time, talking about the film. And he had already lined up another picture for her.

  So soon? She looked amazed, and very grateful. When does it start? She was hesitant and still shy, and she was desperately trying to forget how he had looked at the side of the pool without his towel.

  About a week after you wrap this one up. I figured early April. He told her who was in it, and she stared at him. She knew all the names and some of them were important.

  Do you mean it?

  Of course. And he didn't tell her what it had cost him to get her in the picture. It's a smaller part this time, but I think they might let you sing. And the cast is pretty hot stuff. Just being in the same movie with them will do you a lot of good. He seemed to know everything about getting her career off the ground, and he worked hard for her. And the next morning she saw her name in the papers. It talked about the next film she was going to be in. It was true. He had really done it.

  He took her out to dinner that night, after the article in the paper about her new picture, and there was a photograph of them in the newspaper the day afterward, and the caption read, Personal Manager Ernie Salvatore and his new friend, Crystal Wyatt. It was like reading about someone else and she stared at it in silent wonder. She sent a copy of it to Harry and Pearl and she still called them every few days. She missed them terribly, but not half as much as she missed Spencer. She still wondered if she'd ever hear from him again, but in her heart of hearts, she knew she wouldn't. And as she thought of it, she felt desperately lonely without him. And the only friend she had now was Ernie.

  He sent her flowers, brought her gifts, and embarrassed her more than once by sending the Rolls and his driver to pick her up on the set after work. But he made no further attempt to seduce her. He was waiting for her to come to him, and he knew that eventually
she would, in one way or another. And two weeks after her first visit, he invited her to Malibu again. She hesitated but by then she was more comfortable with him, and she thought nothing would happen. They didn't swim in the pool this time, and she walked along the beach with him. She was starting the new picture in a few weeks, and they had a lot to talk about. And then suddenly he turned to her, and smiled. There was something fatherly about him, she thought now. He had taken her under his wing, and made all her decisions for her. After four years offending for herself, it was a new experience for her, but she had to admit that she liked it.

  I've been wanting to ask you something, Crystal. He hesitated as they watched the sunset again, and gently took her hand. How would you like to stay with me for a while?

  Here? She thought he meant for the weekend, and all she could think of was the night he had made love to her, and she blushed again at the memory of it.

  He smiled again, she was still so innocent and so young. At nearly twenty-two, she was still a child, by Hollywood standards at least. Not just here, silly girl. In Beverly Hills too. I thought it might help you a little with your career, and it would be a lot more pleasant than staying at the hotel, and less expensive. He tried to make it sound practical, instead of what it was. A proposition.

  I don't know ' I ' She turned her lavender-blue eyes to him and even the hard core of Ernie Salvatore melted a little. Ernie, what do you mean? You've already been so kind to me. I shouldn't ' I wouldn't want to take advantage. She still didn't understand, as he put his arms around her.

  I mean I want you to come and live with me. I want to be near you. There was a long silence as she looked at him and then stared sadly out at the sunset. Where was Spencer? Where had he gone? Why wasn't he offering this to her instead of Ernie? Hollywood is a tough place. I want to offer you my protection. What more could she ask? And yet, she knew she didn't love him.

  She slowly shook her head. I can't.

  Why not?