The January Wish

by Juliet Madison

  An hour and a half later, smiles permanently etched into their faces after the photo shoot, the bridal party arrived at the reception venue. Larissa broke down into tears again at the sight of the function room; silver helium balloons floating above each table, and silver bows on the back of each chair. Sylvia eyed the bridal party’s table in the centre of the room. She wouldn’t be sitting next to Mark, which for the first time she was unhappy about. Since last night and their ‘almost kiss’, she wanted nothing more than to be next to him. It didn’t make sense. They were completely different people, and until last night couldn’t stand being in the same room as each other, but somehow they’d connected. Sylvia wanted to talk to Larissa about Mark, about the feelings that were surfacing, but today was her friend’s wedding day. Larissa had been completely preoccupied with getting ready and making sure everything was going to run smoothly, and Sylvia didn’t want to distract her by bringing it up.

  Occasionally, over dinner, Sylvia would pretend she was surveying the crowd and glance over in Mark’s direction. He seemed to be doing the same, and more than once a subtle smile graced his lips.

  Eventually, it came time for the dance performance, and they all ducked out for a quick run-through before taking their positions on the dance floor. Everything went quiet as the guests waited in anticipation, and the bridal party waited for the music to begin. The routine started off slowly, with the men on one side of the dance floor and the women on the other. When The Way You Make Me Feel came on, the men proceeded to ‘woo’ the women with their dance moves until they eventually gave in and entered the Love Shack. This was where things really amped up, the guests in the crowd laughing as the bridal party let loose to the music. The routine finished off with each of the men lifting the women and carrying them off, pretending to wobble and struggle with the weight of them, until they purposely fell on the floor in a heap. Sylvia and Mark cried with laughter, almost too weak to stand up. Mark hooked his arm around her shoulders to help her up, and they all bowed to the clapping of the wedding guests. Besides Larissa’s hen’s night, this was the most fun Sylvia had experienced in ages.

  ‘Can I give you a lift home tonight?’ Mark asked Sylvia, after Larissa and Luke bade their farewells and drove off, ‘just married’ written on their car in lipstick.

  ‘I was going to get a taxi, but if you’re offering…’ she replied.

  ‘I’m offering.’

  ‘Thanks. Hopefully there’ll be no hail tonight.’ Then again, it would be a good reason to invite him inside again.

  ‘I think we’re safe,’ Mark said, looking up at the clear sky.

  Sylvia watched Larissa and Luke’s car disappear around the corner, their horn tooting loudly into the night. She remembered that Larissa had tried to tell her something last night at the wedding rehearsal, before Luke had interrupted. ‘There’s something you should know about…’ she’d begun to say. About what? Did she mean something about Mark, or herself, or something else? Surely if it was important she would have mentioned it later that night, or today. Although, she had been preoccupied with the wedding, understandably. Maybe Larissa was pregnant, and just didn’t want to announce it last night until after the wedding? Anyway, no point wondering about it now, it would have to wait until the happy couple returned from their honeymoon in another week.

  Sylvia and Mark said goodbye to some of the guests, and walked to where Mark’s car was parked. He waited for her to slip inside before walking around the front of the car and getting into the driver’s seat.

  ‘I think I’ll be sleeping in tomorrow, weddings are exhausting,’ Sylvia sighed, relaxing her head against the headrest.

  ‘Wish I could, I’m helping my brother and his family move house.’

  ‘Ah, moving house comes a close second to weddings I’d say, as far as exhaustion goes,’ Sylvia said.

  ‘So it’s the double whammy for me this weekend.’ Mark chuckled, as he turned onto the main road and increased speed.

  ‘You might need Monday off then,’ Sylvia suggested, slipping off a shoe and rubbing the ache from her toes.

  ‘I’ll be right, if I just keep going I won’t notice if I’m tired.’

  ‘Maybe have a quiet Sunday next weekend then.’

  ‘Sounds like a plan,’ Mark agreed, glancing briefly at Sylvia before returning his concentration to the road.

  They drove without talking for a while, music playing softly on the radio the only sound between them. A familiar tune came on. ‘I love this song.’ Sylvia reached for the knob to turn the volume up; at the exact moment Mark did the same. Their hands brushed together, his skin like soft velvet against hers, sending a warm rush up her arm.

  ‘Sorry,’ they both said awkwardly, retracting their hands.

  ‘Great minds think alike,’ Mark added.

  As the song filled the car for the next three minutes, they were quiet, and still. The only movement their chests rising up and down, in rhythm to the music. The car trip seemed longer than last night, but eventually they arrived at Sylvia’s house.

  ‘We never got to have that cup of tea last night,’ Sylvia mentioned.

  ‘Are you asking me in?’

  ‘I guess I am, that is, if you want to come in.’

  Mark got out of the car and followed Sylvia to the front door, indicating that he certainly did. Sylvia’s fingers trembled as she fiddled with her keys, which fell to the ground with a jingling clatter. ‘Oops.’ She picked them up and tried again, her breath held high in her chest. The door opened and she let Mark in first before reaching around the door to switch on the light as she walked in too. Sylvia turned around to lock the door behind her, and when she turned back Mark was right in front of her, his body only an inch or so from hers. In an instant he wrapped his arms around her waist, planting his lips on hers with an urgency and passion that seemed to erupt from within. Sylvia’s body softened and succumbed to his lead, the keys clattering on the floor again. She brought her hands up to his hair, through his hair, kissing him back with the same intensity he gave out. Her lips tingled with a desire she’d never felt before, and heat simmered between their chests pressed tightly together.

  A few moments later they pulled back slightly, his breath warming her face, before starting all over again with even more passion. Sylvia couldn’t tell how much time passed, but eventually they stopped. Mark stepped back. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’ His cheeks were flushed and a light sweat shone on his forehead.

  ‘Don’t apologise.’ Sylvia stepped towards him.

  He ran the back of his hand along her cheekbone and smiled, then took his car keys from his pocket. ‘I should probably go. It’s late, and I have an early start in the morning.’

  An ache formed in Sylvia’s chest as he moved to the door. Please stay.

  ‘I had the best night I’ve had in a long time,’ he said, leaning into her and commanding her lips one last time.

  Me too. The words were there but couldn’t come out.

  Mark got into his car and waved, then reversed out onto the road. Sylvia glanced at Nancy’s house, the light in the window suddenly going out.

  * * *

  A mixture of emotions welled up inside as Mark drove up into the lush, green Tarrin’s Bay Hills, darkened by the night sky. He could still feel the tingling of Sylvia’s soft lips on his, the satisfying release as her body surrendered to the moment, and the distinctive floral scent of her perfume. Man, she’d looked hot in that dress. He’d barely been able to keep his eyes off her all night.

  His desire had been briefly satisfied by their kiss, but it took all his willpower to leave. He knew where it would lead had he stayed, and he couldn’t let that happen. Not now.

  He turned into his driveway and exhaled loudly, realising he’d almost been holding his breath the whole way home. His heart raced at what just happened with Sylvia, but a pang of guilt also shot through him. Even more so when he opened his front door and was met by the unblinking eyes of his wife s
taring back at him.

  Chapter 19

  On Monday morning Sylvia got up a half hour earlier than usual. She had to drop the car keys off at the smash repairs garage, and didn’t want to forego her morning swim. She swam faster than usual too, fuelled by the rush of excitement in her bloodstream after her encounter with Mark. They would both have to face each other at work today, and although she was sure this was heading somewhere, they’d probably keep it secret for now until they were sure. Kissing after a wedding was one thing, starting a relationship in regular daily life was another, let alone when two people worked together.

  She didn’t try calling him on Sunday, that would have seemed desperate, plus he said he’d be busy helping his brother move house. Sylvia tried to keep busy and distracted by reading books and watching DVD’s. After a lively weekend she’d wanted to stay home and relax.

  When Sylvia arrived at work Mark wasn’t yet there. She poured a coffee and got her room organised for the day ahead. She’d even brought in a small posy of flowers to put on her desk. With the medical equipment, papers, computer, printer, and books, it needed something organic to balance it out. She’d never brought flowers into work before, but after her swim she’d had the urge to pick some from her garden.

  At five minutes to nine, she came out to the waiting room. ‘What time is Mark’s first patient?’ she asked Joyce.

  ‘Nine, but he’s not here yet. I’ve just called but there’s no answer. Maybe he’s on his way.’

  Just then he walked through the door. ‘Sorry,’ he mouthed. His first patient, who was already waiting, stood to greet him. ‘Hi Robert, I’ll be with you in just a moment.’ Mark turned towards his room, glancing at Sylvia on the way and offering an awkward smile. A few minutes later he came back out, and ushered Robert into his consultation room.

  Damn. Sylvia had hoped to sneak a few moments with him before work. Once the onslaught of patients began it was difficult to stop. Oh well, perhaps they’d grab a coffee or some dinner together later on.

  By lunchtime, Sylvia was actually running on schedule. Talk about efficient. The idea of finishing work earlier had nothing to do with it of course. She caught Mark as he was finishing up his lunch, but was on his way back to his room. ‘How was the house-moving?’ she asked.

  ‘Full on, but went well. Thanks for asking.’ He seemed agitated.

  ‘Are you fully booked today?’ In other words, when do you finish work and can we get together tonight and kiss like we did on Saturday?

  ‘I am…actually, I better get ready for my next patient.’ He raised his eyebrows briefly and went back to his room.

  Not exactly the warm exchange she’d imagined after what happened on the weekend. Maybe he was just feeling awkward being at work with her. Or maybe he just wanted to keep his mind on work right now.

  Sylvia ate her lunch at a leisurely pace for a change, then went to the reception desk to hand some documents to Joyce. She had ten minutes or so to spare until she was back on the clock. A couple of patients were chatting to each other in the waiting room, and Sylvia’s ears pricked up when one of them mentioned Mark.

  ‘I’ve been a patient of his for ages, he’s great. Didn’t think twice about following him here to Tarrin’s Bay, it’s only a half hour’s drive. Are you a patient of his too?’

  The other patient shook her head. ‘No, I’m actually here for the physio, but I used to live in Welston. I met Mark and his wife a few years back through a family friend…’

  Sylvia’s skin burned as though she’d been dipped in hot oil. Did that patient really say, ‘Mark and his wife’? The rest of their conversation was drowned out, as the revelation throbbed in her ears, over and over again. He has a wife? Heat spread through her body, then an icy sharpness took its place.

  Mark has a wife.

  ‘Sylvia, do you have time to take this call? It’s Mr Benson, says the medication is upsetting his stomach.’ Joyce looked over her shoulder, her hand covering the phone.

  ‘Um, sure,’ she replied, forcing composure and walking quickly to her room.

  Sylvia had to force herself to concentrate the rest of the afternoon. While at work, patients were her top priority. She’d never let anything personal get in the way of patient care, so as she often did, she pushed her emotions to that place in her mind where all the bad feelings went. All the guilt, shame, regret, and heartache made room for her anger and disappointment. She closed the door to that place in her mind, until she’d finished with her last patient and had made some important phone calls. Anything else would have to wait until tomorrow.

  As she gathered up her things, she realised that this must have been what Larissa was going to tell her. So why didn’t she just blurt it out, or send a text message or something? If only she could call her now, but she couldn’t disturb Larissa on her honeymoon.

  It was a quarter to six, and Mark would probably be finishing up paperwork in his consulting room, so she took a deep breath and tapped on his door. Silence. She walked down the hallway to see that Joyce was still there, busily moving about following her end-of-workday routine.

  ‘Where’s Mark?’ Sylvia asked with a little too much urgency.

  ‘He just left, said he was in a hurry,’ Joyce replied.

  Sylvia bolted out the door and around back to the staff parking area she never used, almost colliding with Mark’s car as he drove around the corner. His car came to an abrupt halt in front of her, and he got out of the driver’s side door.

  ‘Sylvia, are you okay?’ he enquired.

  ‘I’m fine.’ Sylvia pushed the hair back from her face with both hands. ‘Actually, I’m not fine. We need to talk.’ Both hands were now planted rigidly on her hips.

  A ‘V’ formed in Mark’s forehead, as he cocked his head to one side. ‘Is something wrong?’

  ‘Don’t look at me like you don’t know what’s wrong!’ The engine hummed as she made her way around the door to face him. ‘I can’t believe I fell for your charm. Here I was, thinking you were this nice, caring guy, and as soon as I let my guard down I get slapped in the face with the truth!’ The boiling anger she’d felt earlier made its way to the surface, burning cracks in the icy sharpness that had attempted to hold it prisoner.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Mark replied, holding onto the top of the door as if for support.

  ‘Oh really? Is that what you’d say to your wife if she accused you of having an affair?’ Sylvia’s eyes shone like lasers towards him, pinning him down.

  Mark froze for a moment, then exhaled deeply as he sat on the edge of the car seat, looking down at the gravel driveway.

  ‘So you don’t deny it? You’re married?’ Sylvia maintained her stance and focus.

  He looked up at her, all colour drained from his face. ‘Sylvia, let me explain…’

  ‘Explain? I overheard a patient talking about how she’d met you and your wife,’ the word burned on her tongue, ‘and this morning you seemed like you were trying to avoid me, and now, you try to drive off without saying a word to me before you leave—explain that!’

  ‘My wife, she—‘

  ‘Aha, so you do have a wife. Straight from the horse’s mouth! Does she know about me?’

  ‘Sylvia—‘

  ‘Does she know her husband’s throwing himself at other women? Are there other women? And how will she react when—‘

  ‘Sylvia, she died,’ Mark said.

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘My wife died.’ He turned off the engine, leaving a painful silence between them.

  ‘She…died?’

  Mark nodded. ‘Eighteen months ago. Bacterial meningitis. One day she was fine, the next…well. It all happened so fast.’

  ‘Oh, Mark.’ Sylvia dropped to her knees and placed a hand on his thigh, not caring that the gravel was poking into her kneecaps. ‘I’m so sorry. I wish I’d known. God, what an idiot I’ve been! I’m so, so sorry.’ If she could have taken back the last few minutes she would have. She wished she’d
gotten the facts straight before accusing him of being an unfaithful bastard.

  ‘It doesn’t matter. I should have told you, but we were having such a good time at the wedding, it didn’t seem appropriate.’ He placed a hand over Sylvia’s.

  She couldn’t believe he wasn’t upset with her.

  ‘Anyway, you’re right,’ Mark said. ‘I was trying to avoid you this morning. You see, I haven’t dated anyone since…it happened. Haven’t wanted to, until now. And after Saturday night I freaked out a bit, felt guilty, like I was betraying her.’ He looked up at the sky.

  ‘It’s okay, I understand,’ Sylvia whispered, her eyes strained with concern.

  Mark looked down at her. ‘This…us probably happened too fast. I think, well, I obviously need more time to deal with things. I don’t want to mess you around.’

  You’re not messing me around. Let’s start again. Now she knew the truth she wanted to be with him even more.

  ‘Let’s take a step back. We’ve only known each other for a short while, and I’m still getting settled in town. It’s probably best if we’re just friends for now, and see what happens down the track.’ Mark removed his hand from hers.

  Sylvia didn’t want to see what would happen down the track, she wanted to see what would happen tomorrow, next weekend, next month. But ‘down the track’ implied months, years, or never. But he was right. Having a relationship with someone who’s still grieving was destined for heartache, and there was enough of that tucked away in that little place within her mind.

  ‘Yeah, it’s probably best.’ Sylvia removed her hand from his thigh and stood up, flicking away remnants of gravel stuck to her trousers. ‘But listen, anytime you want to talk. I’m here.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Mark stood too, as Sylvia stepped back from the car. ‘Sylvia,’ he said. ‘I really enjoyed the weekend.’

  ‘Me too,’ she said, leaning into him and giving him a friendly hug.