Billie Jo

by Kimberley Chambers

  'Could you do that for me, Jade? I'll be able to pay you back when I'm eighteen. I've got an endowment policy I can cash in them, that Dad put away for me.'

  Billie was so honest and genuine that Jade couldn't help but laugh. She had no intention of taking the money back that she was lending. It was a gift, but she knew Billie wouldn't accept it if she said that, so she pretended it was a loan.

  'Pay me back when you're twenty-one, Bill. You might need it up until then. Now that's enough about money. I'm starving; what's it to be, Chinese or Indian?'

  'Indian,' Billie said gratefully.

  Sitting in the office the following day, Billie was as quiet as a mouse.

  'What's the matter, mate?' Carly asked, concerned by her friend's sad face and lack of conversation.

  Explaining Jade's financial situation, Billie felt eaten up with worry. 'If Jade moves, I feel that I've got no one. I know I've got Danny, but say we split up? I know my mum wasn't the best in the world, but I wish we were still on speaking terms. The thought of being homeless with no family fills me with dread.'

  Unable to imagine a worse situation to be in, Carly spoke from the heart. 'I'd ring your mum, Bill. Tell her how you feel. Explain how you bumped into Jade by accident.

  Surely your mum will understand your desire to keep in contact with your little brother.'

  'I doubt it,' Billie said, woefully.

  'You have to try and sort things out with her, Bill. I know she has her faults, but she's the only mum you've got. Why don't we go for a drink after work and talk about it?'

  'OK,' Billie said, dubiously. She didn't hold out much hope of a reconciliation, but Carly was right, she had to try.

  The pub was busy when the girls arrived. Noticing a couple of blokes leaving, Carly shoved Billie towards the corner table.

  It took two hours, four wines and an ear-bashing from her friend for Billie to pluck up the courage to make the dreaded call. Urging Carly to make herself scarce, Billie took a deep breath before dialling her mother's number.

  'Hello.'

  'Mum, it's Billie. Please don't put the phone down on me.'

  'What the fuck do you want? I thought I told you not to contact me any more.'

  'Mum, I'm sorry for what happened. I just want to explain things properly to you.'

  Chelle sneered as she held the phone away from her ear. Her daughter deserved a mouthful for betraying her and that's what she was gonna get.

  'Now you listen to me, Billie. I never wanted kids and then you came along. The only reason I fell pregnant was to keep your father happy and look where that bloody well got me. Years I suffered you and all the thanks I get is you becoming best pals with the old slapper. Well, no more, Billie. You did the worst thing to me that you ever could of done. Now, fuck off out of my life and don't ever ring me again.'

  'But, Mum . . .' Realising she'd been cut off, Billie burst into tears.

  Returning to the table, Carly was shocked to see the state of her pal. Inconsolable was putting it mildly. Not knowing what to do, she called Danny and asked him for his help. Elated at being the knight in shining armour, Danny arrived at the pub within the hour.

  Leading the girls to a transit van he'd borrowed, Danny insisted that he drop them both at Carly's.

  'I'll sort this, babe,' he told Billie in his usual cocksure manner. 'You're my girl now and I ain't letting no one speak to you like a piece of shit. You stay here with Carly. I'll go and have it out with your mother and pick you up after.'

  Impressed by his dominance, Billie managed a weak smile.

  As he headed towards Chelle's, Danny stopped at an offie where he bought two bottles of wine and a box of Milk Tray. Smiling at his sweeteners, he continued his journey. What great presents to give an overweight alkie.

  Chelle stood up and walked over to the CD player. She found it difficult to listen to Patsy Cline since Terry had died. Too many memories, too much shit. Opting for Tammy Wynette, she topped up her wine glass. The phone call earlier from Billie had upset and disturbed her and she needed to blank it out. A piece of her felt guilty for being so nasty. She didn't hate Billie as much as she pretended to. How could she? She'd given birth to her.

  Terry was the bugbear between them, he always had been. The fact he was now pushing up daisies altered nothing. Chelle had felt like an outsider since the day Billie was born. The closeness that father and daughter had shared was something she could never compete with. Loneliness and a bitter taste was all she had left.

  'Sometimes it's hard to be a woman,' she sang. 'Giving all your love to just one man.'

  The sound of the doorbell stopped Chelle from reaching the chorus. Debating whether to ignore it, she peered out the window.

  'Who's this fucking nuisance?' she muttered as curiosity finally got the better of her. Surprised to see Danny standing on the doorstep, she invited him in. She'd liked the boy from the moment she'd first met him.

  'Peace offering,' Danny said, handing her the presents.

  'Wanna beer, love?'

  'You bet,' Danny said, treating her to his killer smile.

  Four beers later, a friendship was secured. Both troubled souls, they bonded immediately.

  'Can't you and Billie start afresh? Ain't there no way you can forgive her, Chelle, even if it's only for my sake?'

  'Definitely not,' Chelle said adamantly. 'You're welcome round here anytime, son, but me and her are finished. There's far too much water under the bridge and I can't forgive her for siding with that slag.'

  'I understand where you're coming from,' Danny said sympathetically.

  His foot was halfway in the door here, so he was hardly about to push the issue. 'I'm just glad that me and you can still be pals, Chelle. I'll look after Billie, you've got my word on that. I can let you know how she's doing on the quiet.'

  'Whatever,' Chelle said unconcerned. 'She's her father's daughter, Dan, and nothing or no one will ever change that.'

  Enjoying himself immensely, Danny suddenly realised that he'd forgotten about Billie. 'Shit, I'd better be going, Chelle. Billie's round at Carly's and I said I'd pick her up.'

  'Fuck her,' Chelle slurred. 'Don't go, Dan. Stay here and get on the piss with me.'

  Danny felt settled and relaxed and didn't need much arm-twisting. Pretending he needed the toilet, he left the room to ring Billie with one of his lies.

  'All right, Dan? Did you see her? What happened?'

  'Your mum's fine, Bill. She spoke highly of you. Things are gonna take a bit of time, but you and her'll be sorted before you know it.'

  'Oh, thanks, Dan,' Billie said, gratefully. 'I don't know what I'd do without you. What time are you coming to pick me up?'

  'I can't make it back there, babe. Me mum's just rung me. Frantic she is. Me little brother's been rushed to hospital with a bad asthma attack. I'm on me way up there now.'

  'Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry. Shall I come with you?'

  'No, Bill. You get a cab home. I won't be staying up there long meself. I just wanna make sure that me poor old mum's all right.'

  Saying goodbye to him, Billie explained to Carly what had happened.

  'He's just so lovely. He loves his family and dotes on his mum. There's not many lads that would drop what they're doing to be there at their mother's side.'

  Carly smiled. She wasn't as convinced as Billie of Danny's wonderful nature. Loud and flash would be her description of him.

  The following week proved the biggest test yet of Danny's character.

  Billie woke up one morning, feeling like nothing on earth. Bolting to the bathroom, she retched into the toilet. She felt very sorry for herself as she wandered downstairs in need of sympathy.

  'I've just been sick, Jade. I feel dreadful. I think I've got the flu.'

  Knowing that Billie had been out late the previous night, with the charmer of a boyfriend, Jade wasn't overly concerned. 'Go and sit in the lounge. I'll do you a nice breakfast to settle your stomach.'

  The smell of fried pig was too
much for Billie. Legging it back to the toilet, she only just made it in time.

  Jade put the spatula down, turned the gas off and followed her up the stairs. She stroked her hair as she vomited, then put her to bed and rang up her office to tell them that Billie had a sickness bug and wouldn't be in.

  It was when she'd put the phone down that the awful truth dawned on her. Surely Billie wasn't pregnant. 'Please God, no,' Jade said out loud.

  Billie walked into the living room and flopped into the armchair.

  'Do you think I should go to the doctor's? I feel terrible. I think I've got the lurgy.'

  Jade could feel her stomach churning with anxiety. 'I don't know, you might have. Have you had a period lately, love?'

  Racking her brains, an awful feeling washed over Billie. 'I'm not sure if I have or not. You don't think I'm pregnant, do you? I'm not even sure if I'm due on yet. I never keep dates and sometimes I miss a month here and there anyway.'

  Jade tried to put her mind at rest. 'It's probably just a bug, Bill, but I think I should get you a test, just to be on the safe side.'

  The following morning Jade's worst fears came true as she looked at the blue line on the stick that Billie was holding.

  'Christ, Bill, it's positive. I'm so sorry, but it looks like you're pregnant, darling. Now, don't worry, I'm here to help you. Don't cry, Bill, you've made a mistake, lots of girls do, it's not the end of the world.'

  Billie was shaking and sobbing at the same time. 'What am I going to do, Jade? I'm only sixteen, how will I manage?'

  'Ssh, now calm down,' Jade said, hugging her tightly. 'Don't beat yourself up. It happens to the best of us. Remember I'm no different to you. It was an accident when I got pregnant by your dad. I was on the pill and it still happened to me. It's just one of those things. At least you've found out early on and you've got the choice whether to keep it or not. Some girls aren't that lucky. By the time they find out, it's too late to do anything about it.'

  'I'm supposed to be meeting Danny tonight. What am I gonna do, Jade? How am I going to tell him? He is going to be so angry with me.'

  Jade felt like shaking Billie to knock some sense into her. What fucking right did Danny Boy have to be angry? He's the one that had stuck his penis up her, knowing full well she wasn't using contraception in the first place. Jade held Billie's hand. 'Do you know what I'd do if I were you, Bill? I wouldn't tell him and I'd have an abortion. You're only young and you've got your whole life in front of you. OK, you've made a mistake, so what? I've got money. I'll pay for you to go private, and I'll come with you. That way Danny never need know. What do you say?'

  Billie couldn't believe what she was hearing. 'I can't do that. I'd never forgive myself if I didn't tell him. I love him, Jade, and he loves me. I'd never go behind his back, I couldn't. How would you have felt if you'd had an abortion and not told my dad?

  Jade tried to make her see sense. 'I know what you're saying, but it was different with me and your dad. We'd been together for ages and were very much in love. You and Danny are so young and you've only known one another five minutes. Don't waste your life, Bill.'

  Billie could feel the anger rising within her. 'I love him, Jade. I know you're trying to help, but at the end of the day it's mine and Danny's baby and it has to be our choice. Admit it, Jade, you don't like Danny, do you?'

  Jade sighed; she didn't need this shit but somehow she felt responsible. 'I don't dislike him, but if you want the honest truth, no, I don't like him very much either. He seems flash and cocky and I think you can do a damn sight better. That's why I'm telling you to think long and hard about this. He's not right for you, Billie. Call it woman's intuition, call it what you like, but I know it's all going to end in tears. If your dad were still alive he'd be telling you the same, I know he would.'

  Billie burst into tears. 'He's not alive though, is he, Jade? I've got no mum to speak of, you're moving away and taking my brother with you. All I've got is Danny. I think I want to keep the baby, at least then I'll have some family, someone who depends on me. It's different for you. I know my dad died, but you've got a son, a brother, a mum and dad and I've got no one.'

  Jade felt her heart wrench as she listened to Billie's speech. She could have cried for the poor little mite. In that second she decided to support her decision whatever it was. 'Now wipe those tears away. You go and get yourself glammed up. Go and meet Danny, tell him the score and I promise I'll stand by you and be there for you, whatever, OK?'

  Billie had a long soak in the bath and lay on her bed, mulling over the situation in her mind. Danny wasn't picking her up until eight o'clock and she was glad as it gave her a couple of hours to herself. She needed to be alone, to put her thoughts into place. She needed to work out how she was going to broach the subject, to tell him. They'd been getting on like a house on fire recently and although she hadn't seen him as regularly since she'd been living with Jade, when she did see him he'd treated her like a queen, buying her presents, showering her with compliments and whispering sweet nothings.

  Their relationship had been running so smoothly that she'd almost forgotten about the night he'd shoved his thingy into her mouth and forced her to suck it. That was now just a distant memory. They had only had one little argument since they'd been together and that had occurred when her mum had chucked her out. Danny had got really angry with her. He'd said, 'You only get one mum and you must make it up with her.' She'd argued her point, and eventually they had kissed and made up.

  Hearing a hooter beeping outside at five to eight, Billie shouted out to Jade, 'I'm going now, will you be up when I get in?'

  Jade came out to the hallway to see her off. 'You bet I will. I'm going to have a bottle of wine and wait up for you. Good luck, darling.'

  'Thanks, Jade.'

  Danny O'Leary sat patiently in the old BMW he'd borrowed off a mate who owed him a favour. He didn't own a driving licence, as he'd never passed a test, but he'd been driving for years and was extremely confident behind the wheel.

  'Hello, sweetheart.' Danny smiled and kissed Billie passionately as she got into the passenger seat. He knew that Jade had hated him on sight and he hoped the fucking bitch was looking out of the window.

  'Where do you fancy going then, Bill?'

  Billie felt more nervous than she'd ever felt in her life. 'Do you mind if we go somewhere quiet, Danny? I need to talk to you about something.'

  'That sounds ominous. What's the matter? Is something wrong, girl?'

  Billie tried to change the subject. She didn't want to tell him while he was driving, she was afraid he might crash the car. 'Where did you get this car from, Danny? Is it yours? Did you buy it?'

  'Never you mind.' Danny looked away from the road for a second and winked at her. 'No, I'm only joking, babe. I borrowed it off a mate. It's a shit-heap. I wouldn't buy something like this. I'm gonna buy a decent motor soon so I can pick you up all the time.'

  Noticing a pub, Danny swung into the car park. 'Come on, babe, we'll have a beer in here. This looks nice and quiet.'

  Billie sat down at a table in the corner, biting her nails nervously at the thought of the conversation she was about to have. She just had to say it, blurt it out to him, that was the easiest way. Danny sat down at the table with his bottle of Bud and handed Billie a large glass of wine.

  'I told you not to get me wine, Danny. I wanted a Coke.'

  Shrugging his shoulders, Danny smirked. 'Oh, just drink it, Bill, you need livening up. You've hardly said a fucking word since I picked you up. Get it down you, girl, it might cheer you up a bit.'

  Billie pushed the drink away. 'Danny, I just can't drink it. Look, there's no easy way for me to say this, but this morning I found out that I'm pregnant. I did a test and I need to know what you want me to do. Jade's offered to help me if we choose not to have the baby but I wanted to talk to you first.'

  Danny nearly dropped his drink in shock. He'd fucked tons of birds but this was a first for him. He'd never got any of the others up
the duff. 'Pregnant, are you sure?

  But we've only done it a few times and I've been pulling it out early.'

  Billie held his hand across the table. He looked like a little boy lost. 'I'm positive, Danny. I've done two tests. Look, if you think we're too young for all this, like Jade seems to, I'll understand. It won't split us up or anything, but you must tell me the truth. I need to know what you think we should do and what you want to do. I don't want you to feel trapped.'

  Danny sat silently, summing up his thoughts. He loved kids, he always had done. He'd nigh on brought up his brothers and sisters single-handed whilst his mother had disappeared for hours on end. From ten years old he'd been left alone with them on a regular basis, so he was well aware of their wants and needs. Billie was probably the classiest girl he'd ever met. Most of the birds he'd been with were trailer trash. Billie was proper and he liked that. She had twenty grand coming her way on her eighteenth, so they wouldn't be short of cash. He would go and pay Chelle a visit, tell her that she had a grandchild on the way. Surely she'd change her tune, make up with Billie, then, with a bit of luck, let them live in that nice big house of hers.

  Danny weighed up the situation as quickly as he could. Billie was sitting opposite him desperately waiting for an answer. Getting up off his seat, Danny walked around the other side of the table and sat next to her. Taking both of her hands in his, he spoke gently.

  'Bill, I've had time to think about it and I'm over the moon. I really want this baby and I can't wait to be a dad. I'll be a really good dad, you know. I've had tons of practice with my brothers and sisters.'

  Tears of joy formed in Billie's eyes. She knew Jade had been wrong. Danny was a diamond, he would never let her down. 'Oh, Danny, I'm so happy that you're excited and you want me to have the baby. You don't know how much that means to me. Jade advised me to get rid of it because we're so young, but I look at little Terry Junior and I just know I couldn't have my own aborted. I'll be a good mum, you know. I've had lots of experience recently with my own little brother.'