Miriam's Secret

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Oh, here’s some news you might find interesting since things are going well with Wayne and you. And speaking of Wayne, let me say this first. I don’t know for sure, but I’m going to take a guess. And not a big one I suppose from how things had been going before I left. Has Wayne asked you to be his frau yet? I don’t know why I brought that up, but…

  Anyway, Ivan and Laura are quite serious about each other. Laura hangs on to Ivan at every youth gathering like she’s afraid he’ll get away from her. All they do is smile and gaze into each other’s eyes all evening. It’s sickening, if you ask me. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a wedding this fall for those two. Laura’s a little young, but why not? From the way she acts, a wedding seems quite probable.

  I was curious enough to hint at the matter with Laura’s older sister Esther. The girl sputtered around, so I’m sure it’s the truth. Why should I care about them—other than the connection with you? I’m not sure. I still think Ivan was mighty stupid to let you get away from him. But then again, I have to admit again that you were probably right.

  So pray for me, Miriam. I want so to do what is right, but temptations are strong around me. Daett prayed for each of us children last night in such tender tones. He broke my heart all over again. I told the Lord I was so sorry for calling Jonas, but you know how that goes. I still want to talk to Jonas, and probably would if I ran into him downtown. That’s why, I think, Mamm hasn’t mentioned anything about me looking for a job in Berlin. I know the family could use the money. Things aren’t quite as poverty stricken around here what with the income from your farm, but a little extra cash is always welcome in the Yoder family.

  But on to happier subjects…

  There are whispers of other weddings in the area this fall. Our cousin Ben Yoder and his girlfriend, Sharon…

  Miriam looked up when Aunt Fannie interrupted her.

  “Does Shirley have any gut news?”

  Miriam smiled. “Cousin Ben and Sharon might have a wedding planned.”

  Aunt Fannie laughed. “Now that’s gossip of the first order. I thought it was going to happen this fall, but, on the other hand, what would I know way out here?”

  “Your guess is probably as gut as Shirley’s.” Miriam lay the letter down and stood up. “It’s about time to prepare supper, isn’t it?”

  She’d finish the letter later in the evening, perhaps after Wayne dropped her off after the youth gathering. Shirley probably didn’t have much else of importance to share, and there was supper to prepare and eat before Wayne picked her up. Thankfully Aunt Fannie didn’t ask to read Shirley’s letter. She must understand that sisters tell each other things not meant for their older relatives’ ears.

  Aunt Fannie left Jonathon squirming on the rug in front of the stove and joined her in the kitchen. That wouldn’t be possible once the baby learned how to crawl, Miriam knew. But for now Aunt Fannie could help because she could watch him through the kitchen doorway. When they finished dinner preparations thirty minutes later, Aunt Fannie pointed toward the upstairs. “Go get ready for your evening. Then you can eat before we do, so you’ll be finished before your beau arrives.”

  Miriam didn’t protest. This had become their routine on the evenings when the community’s young folks had planned activities. Miriam hurried to her room. She paused in front of the closet. What should she wear? The work in the cornfield tonight would get dirt all over her dress, but everyday clothes didn’t feel quite right. Better to wash the stains out later than be uncomfortable. Why not wear the dark-blue dress she’d made for the opening day of school? The dress had been a little present to herself in celebration of the great honor the community had given her. Still, she must not hold any occasion or the dress too highly. A corn husking would keep her estimation of the dress in its proper place.

  With the dark-blue dress on, Miriam returned to the kitchen and ate supper. Before she finished, she heard buggy wheels rattle down the driveway. Aunt Fannie waved her back down when Miriam leaped to her feet. “Wayne can wait. He’s way early.”

  “But maybe there’s a reason,” Miriam protested.

  “Not anything more than he wants to see you.” Aunt Fannie smiled even as she directed Miriam back to her chair. “That’s not reason enough to skip part of your supper.”

  “But…” Miriam tried again.

  Aunt Fannie cut her off. “It’s gut for a man to wait sometimes. And you’re not running out to explain. He can figure it out for himself.”

  Miriam took a deep breath and sat down. She finished eating, but the food went down in gulps. What Aunt Fannie said was no doubt true, but she wanted to see Wayne probably more than he wanted to see her! And certainly more than she wanted to eat. She finished and bolted from the table. Aunt Fannie’s look reminded Miriam to slow down and act dignified. Miriam did so with great effort. She went out the front door after garnering Aunt Fannie’s smile of approval.

  Wayne leaped down from his buggy when she approached. “Gut evening! I hope I didn’t interrupt your supper.”

  She smiled. “I was almost finished. I tried to hurry.”

  He didn’t offer her his hand up into the buggy, and neither did she expect him to. That wasn’t a custom in their communities like it was in the Englisha world.

  Wayne appeared pleased as he climbed in after her and sat down. “Well, here we are again!”

  “Yah.”

  “Are you ready for the evening?” He didn’t wait for an answer before clucking to his horse and driving down the lane. They were already comfortable in each other’s presence.

  How quickly they’d come to feel at home around each other, Miriam thought. Soon she would even dare to lean against his shoulder. Miriam almost shocked herself at the very thought. They hadn’t even been holding hands for long, and here she was imagining such intimacy! It wasn’t even her place to begin such a practice. Already the Lord had given her gifts too great for what she deserved. She shouldn’t desire any more than He chose to give, and she needed to be patient and wait for His timing.

  They settled into peaceful silence with only the steady sounds of horse hooves hitting the blacktop.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Later that evening the soft rustle of cornstalks filled the air as the youth group moved down the lengthy rows of Deacon Phillip’s sweet-corn patch. A late-phase moon hung low on the horizon, its glow interrupted on the ground by the light of gas lanterns set on the wagon racks.

  Deacon Phillip had pulled in three of his wagons soon after Miriam and Wayne had arrived, and now happy chatter filled the night air. Miriam had lost sight of Wayne for the moment. Everyone had a basket near him or her to throw the corn in after taking them off the stalks. Then the baskets of corn ears were emptied into one of the wagons. Miriam tossed an ear into her basket and searched again for Wayne’s form in the dim light. He’d be close by, she knew. Wayne seldom left her side at youth gatherings these days. She wanted to make sure she didn’t get all clingy like Laura Swartz was with Ivan, according to Shirley.

  “How are things going at the Byler house?” Betty Troyer asked, breaking into Miriam’s thoughts.

  Miriam smiled in the soft light. “Okay. Baby Jonathon is practically taking care of himself these days. It’s hard to believe he’s almost eleven weeks old.”

  Betty’s gaze swept the length of the cornfield and rested on Wayne. “Things are going well in another department, it looks like.”

  Miriam couldn’t stop her huge smile as she said, “Yah, Wayne is wunderbah.”

  “Wayne’s a nice fellow, there’s no doubt about that,” Betty said. “We’re glad you moved here. We need as many young couples for our community as we can find. Especially after we lost the Swartz family a while back. I thought at one time Wayne might fall for their daughter Esther. I think he’s done much better with you.”

  “Thank you,” Miriam said. That Wayne might have been attracted to Esther Swartz didn’t surprise her. She was as gut looking as her sister Laura and probably had a boy
friend back in Possum Valley by now. Miriam hadn’t expected such plain talk tonight. Still, Betty obviously thought she fit in the community, which was another great blessing.

  “I like it here,” Miriam said.

  “Shirley must not have,” Betty probed.

  What should she say? Miriam wondered. And how much did Betty know about Shirley? News travels fast in the communities, and Shirley’s relationship with Jonas Beachy might well have reached Betty’s ears.

  “I guess Shirley didn’t find what I did in Oklahoma.”

  “We’re not all the same.” Betty’s voice was gentle. “So how’s she doing?”

  “She’s taking care of baby Anna mostly.” That wasn’t quite what Betty wanted to know, but Miriam didn’t want to speak of Jonas and lessons not heeded. Miriam hurried on. “It turns out that Anna’s quite colicky, so Mamm, Shirley, and my sister Naomi have been pacing the floor with her all hours of the night. I’m glad baby Jonathon sleeps like an angel at night.”

  “Like I said, we’re all different.” Betty glanced up as Wayne neared. “Now look who’s finally here.”

  “At least you’re not some handsome dude trying to steal Miriam from me,” Wayne retorted.

  Betty’s laughter rang through the cornfield. “I think you have things pretty tightly sewn up on that score.”

  Wayne smiled at Miriam. “I like to think so, but all things in the Lord’s gut time.”

  Miriam shyly smiled at Wayne, who was chuckling at Betty, who pretended she was rushed off. She “hollered” over her shoulder, “I’d best get out of here. I don’t want to interfere with the Lord’s workings, you know.”

  “Are we that obvious?” Miriam asked Wayne when no one was within earshot.

  Wayne studied Miriam’s face. “Betty is just teasing, but if talk about us bothers you, I can leave.”

  “Don’t you dare!” The words burst out of Miriam’s mouth.

  Wayne laughed out loud. “That’s gut to hear. I was beginning to wonder.”

  That was also a tease, Miriam knew. Wayne surely had to be certain about how she felt about him. On that matter she’d been plain enough—perhaps even too plain. Miriam looked around. What a perfect night and place for a kiss in a cornfield. Miriam drew in a sharp breath at the thought. Thankfully Wayne was busy with a stubborn cornstalk and didn’t hear her sudden intake of breath. Here she was—twenty years of age and never been kissed.

  What with the charm of the moon and the emotions swirling around inside of her, it was no surprise she was thinking such things. She glanced toward Wayne. Would he kiss her if she wanted him to? She removed another ear from a stalk. Wayne was too honorable. He wouldn’t kiss her tonight because he was being careful not to advance too rapidly in their relationship. Look where throwing caution to the wind had gotten Shirley with Jonas Beachy. Miriam shivered, glad she wasn’t Shirley. She didn’t have to sneak around to see Wayne, and from the looks of things, the entire community approved of their budding relationship. So Miriam decided she would wait for her kiss, and once it came she would probably faint with joy. Yah, someday she would kiss Wayne. Soon—hopefully. Miriam shivered again at the provocative thought.

  “You cold?” Wayne asked as he moved closer.

  “Nee,” Miriam said. She was embarrassed. What if Wayne knew what her thoughts had been. He’d think her indecent. She’d better get to work, she decided.

  Miriam and Wayne continued to work, and they soon reached the end of the row. He stood tall to straighten his back. “Now for the really hard part—getting the husks off.”

  Miriam glanced at the others who were finishing up their rows and moving out of the cornfield. “At least we can sit down.”

  Wayne picked up their basket and dumped the corn in the nearest wagon. Miriam stayed close beside him as the huddle of young people gathered on the lawn. Chairs were brought out, and a bonfire lit. By the time the wagons were brought up, the fire was leaping high into the night air. Chairs had been set up in a circle around the fire pit. Everyone filled their baskets and got started.

  “This isn’t the easiest, is it?” Miriam asked as she tugged on an ear of corn. She glanced up at Wayne’s face and thought the flames casting flickering shadows on his features made him appear even more handsome.

  “I told you so.” Wayne lifted a piece of the green corn husk into the air. Playfully he allowed the end to drag across Miriam’s arm.

  Miriam batted it away so Wayne couldn’t see how much the teasing meant to her. Wayne could see she was pleased, but he didn’t have to see how pleased.

  “There’s Mahlon Troyer and my sister Joy over there,” Wayne whispered moments later. “They sure have their chairs close together.”

  Miriam looked up and stared across the flames. “I didn’t know the two of them were….”

  Wayne gave her a quick glance. “Do you approve?”

  “I hardly know them.” Miriam hesitated. “But from what I do know, I think they’d be great together.”

  “Joy has liked him for a while now, but Mahlon has taken his time, as any decent man should.”

  Miriam leaned toward Wayne. “You are perfect with your timing.”

  A broad smile spread over Wayne’s face. So Miriam had been correct in her assumption that Wayne was carefully pacing their relationship. That was why he hadn’t kissed her yet. She watched him staring into the fire, glad he couldn’t see how much her face was turning red. He’d probably attribute it to the warmth of the fire, but it was really from Miriam’s desire to lean over and kiss him. Finally she focused on the corn. For now she’d have to settle for the sound of his voice murmuring softly next to her.

  “It’s so peaceful out here. I’ve experienced this so many times before, yet tonight seems extra special. I’m glad you’re here with me, Miriam. Very glad.”

  Miriam spoke softly, “It’s a special night for me too.”

  Comfortable silence fell between them broken only by the sounds of corn being husked and the people around them happily chattering.

  Wayne finally cleared his throat and looked at her. “Any news from home lately?”

  Miriam pulled off a corn husk with a quick rip. “Mamm wrote, and Shirley too. Everything’s going normally, except for baby Anna’s colic. That’s unusual, everyone agrees. But what can anyone do about it? The Lord decides what each person goes through, I suppose.”

  “He does.” Wayne’s gaze drifted her way again. “About the time you think everything is figured out, something new comes down the road. That can be gut or bad. Take the two of us.” Wayne paused for a moment. “I had about given up hope I’d ever find someone who would fit all of my expectations and hopes. Then you came along!”

  “Wayne,” Miriam kept her voice low, “we’re in the middle of lots of people so please don’t say such things. Actually don’t say it anytime.” Now her face probably was the color of the fiery flames. “I’m not worthy of them. You don’t know all my faults yet.”

  He didn’t appear convinced. “You can’t have too many faults—if any.”

  “That’s what you think!” she whispered back. “I have plenty. Now please keep your voice down.”

  “I will holler your lovely characteristics to the moon if I want to.” He pointed toward the moon’s glow on the horizon. “See, it grows brighter by the minute.”

  Miriam forced herself to relax. Wayne’s gaze soon settled on her face again, and she seized the moment and enough courage to whisper, “Thank you for liking me, Wayne. Even with the problem of how to deal with the inheritance, I…” Miriam stopped. She hadn’t thought of the money in a while, and it seemed inappropriate to bring it up at a time like this.

  Wayne seemed to understand. He reached across the space between them and touched her arm for only a second. “It doesn’t matter. I already told you that. And it wasn’t your choosing anyway.”

  “You are so kind! You don’t know how much I appreciate you.”

  “I couldn’t be otherwise when it comes to you,” he said
.

  Companionable silence fell between them again. The fire crackled softly as the flames gradually decreased. The embers glowed deep-red and orange. If this time together became any more lovely, Miriam thought, she might burst into tears. Even then she believed Wayne would understand. He would also know when the best time arrived for their first kiss.

  Deacon Phillip appeared holding packages of hot dogs. “Time to eat, everybody! But you have to cook your own food. That is, those of you hardy enough to face the fire’s heat. And, by the way, there’s homemade ice cream in the basement that I turned myself.”

  Laughter rose around the circle as most of the men bounced to their feet. Wayne was among them. He grabbed one of the pointed sticks the deacon’s eldest son, Michael, had toted in from somewhere.

  “Don’t let that hot dog get away from you now,” Mahlon teased Wayne. They both held sticks close to the coals and shielded their faces from the fire’s heat. Wayne’s sister Joy stood and moved closer to Mahlon. Already she was responding deeply to Mahlon’s attention, Miriam thought. Just as I did to Wayne’s. Perhaps in a year or two they would be sisters-in-law by marriage. That was a thought too wunderbah to think about. Even this moment of joy and possibility was almost more than she could bear. She ought to get up and stand near Wayne like Joy was with Mahlon, but her legs likely wouldn’t hold her up. She sent her love to Wayne from the chair. She’d do it by the pounding of her heart if nothing else. Wayne might even feel the power of her love across the distance.

  Miriam shifted on her chair so she could watch Wayne. He was so handsome…so very handsome. And she was so blessed.