Being There

by T. K. Rapp

  “Forget it. I didn't say anything,” he said, sounding hurt.

  “Don't do like that,” I said leaning to kiss him again. “That's not what I'm saying and you know it.”

  “I know,” he sighed before giving me a squeeze and heading back inside with me. “Tomorrow.”

  Lake Effect

  I wake to the sound of Nevaeh calling my name as she shakes my arm. After she turned the radio down, I tried to get some sleep, but my thoughts were all over the place. I guess I was able to get some rest because I’m in her car that is parked in front of the most amazing house I have ever seen. We usually stay at a campsite, but because of a great deal, we get to vacation at this house which is far superior to anything we’ve stayed at before.

  “If you don’t get up soon, everyone else is going to get here and take the best rooms!” She informs me, patting me swiftly on the leg, and that’s enough to get me moving. She’s a little too giddy, no doubt because Luke should be here soon.

  “I’m up,” I say as I stretch in my seat before stepping out. “What time are you expecting everyone?”

  “Well, Alana and Chris will be here later tonight. Tabitha and James had something to take care of, so they’ll be here first thing in the morning. And I haven’t heard from Virgie yet.”

  I groaned out loud because without Virgie, I’d be the only single one here. “She better not bail on me,” I said with mocked ire.

  “She said she’d be here, besides, we’ll have even numbers tonight, no fifth wheels here.”

  “And Luke? When is your man getting here?” I ask grabbing my purse and phone.

  “I’m not sure, I think they left a little later than they intended but I’ll call in a little to check.”

  We unload the back of her SUV and drag our luggage to the large wrap around patio then Nev parks it in the gravel to the side of the house to give the others space to unload when they arrive. We make our way inside to check things out and it’s clear the pictures of this place online don’t do this place justice. Between the stucco façade, southwestern accents and the hill country landscaping that surrounds the house, I’m amazed. The place is at least three thousand square feet, more than enough for the ten people who will be crowding the place for the weekend. It’s so peaceful outside, but I want to get inside to pick my room.

  She punches in the code to the padlock on the door to retrieve the key from the box. When she unlocks and opens the heavy mahogany double doors and we just stand in place amazed at the décor in front of us. The warm rust, beige and brown tones, are muted by the set of Spanish tile stairs that are accented with colorful smaller inlaid tiles. The entire home has a rustic southwestern motif and I’m a little concerned that we are in the wrong home. If this were my place, there is no way I would rent it out for people to possibly ruin. Clearly the owner hasn’t updated their images in a while because, aside from the furniture, nothing looks like it did online.

  At the top of the landing we take in the breathtaking view afforded by the back wall of windows that stretch the entire length of the room from floor to ceiling. It looks as though we are in a secluded spot because I can’t see another house around through the dense trees and brush, and I couldn’t care less.

  The kitchen that is just off to the side of the living room boasts expansive dark brown granite countertops with an elaborate backsplash designed from small accent pieces and has the same amazing view of windows and patio. I may not be much of a cook, but I can appreciate a modern design when I see one. The island alone can accommodate a Thanksgiving feast, not that anyone will catch me attempting to be domestic anytime soon.

  “The master bedroom is that way,” Nev breaks the silence as she points down the hall on the left. I knew exactly which room I wanted and, in fact, I told her it was mine when she emailed me the link. I chose it because it’s away from everyone else and I like my seclusion. I said that she and Luke would have to find another place to shack up, not that she minded. I grab my bags and take them to my temporary room and gasp at the enormity. I think the entire downstairs area of my condo could fit in this room. A king sized bed with a stark white duvet and enough pillows for everyone staying here awaits me on the far wall and I know in an instant that this room is perfect for me. I have just started to unpack my things when I am caught red handed by Nevaeh as she comes to check on me.

  “I knew you couldn’t wait to unpack,” she teases.

  “What? I just wanted to be able to relax. As soon as I’m done, I can chill out and enjoy the hell out of this place.” She rolls her eyes at my craziness, but if I were to see her room, I would notice that her bags are also unpacked, but her clothes are strewn about the room and she has probably already lost something. If it hasn’t happened yet, it will by the end of the trip.

  “You are so uptight sometimes,” she scolds me and I just glare at her in irritation.

  “And this is why you love me!” I say over my shoulder continuing my project.

  “Whatever,” she says, waving me dismissively, “I’m getting some wine. Red or white?”

  “Red,” I call back to her. I wait until she’s gone before pulling out my phone to check it. I know I have missed a call from my mom but there is one number I don’t recognize so I listen to the first of the messages and remind myself to call my mom and dad to let them know we made it. I may be an adult, but they still worry, so I try to give them whatever peace of mind I can.

  When I move to the next voicemail message my mood dampens.

  “Prudence, this is Dr. Stone’s nurse calling to schedule your appointment for next week. You are scheduled for Thursday, but we had a cancellation and now have an opening for Wednesday at ten a.m. Please call to let us know if that time works for you.”

  I call the nurse to confirm the change before returning my mom’s call and I hate that she sounds so worried. “Hi honey, you make it to the house okay?”

  “Yeah, we’re here, we actually just got in. This place is amazing,” I figure I’ll start with something positive first.

  “Good,” I hear a smile on her face, “I’m glad you made it safe.” She sounds relieved and I hate that I am about to sour her mood.

  “It was a nice drive, but I’m glad to be out of the car.”

  “So you girls have any plans tonight?” She sounds so cute when she’s being nosy.

  “Not that I know of. Hey mom,” I pause, wishing there was nothing more to say, “I just talked to one of the nurses, my appointment changed,” I notify her in defeat, “I’m going in on Wednesday. Can you still go with me?”

  “Of course I can,” she says soothing my nerves. “Are you doing okay?”

  “Actually, I am. I had even forgotten about it until she called.”

  I hear something going on in the house, and use it as my excuse to get off the phone, “Hey mom, I gotta go, Nev is calling me. Kiss daddy, tell him I love him.”

  “Will do honey. I love you.” She says sweetly, and it brings a smile to my face.

  “I love you too mom,” I say with the same sappy tone.

  I hang up the phone and sit thinking about how just two weeks ago, things seemed simple and I was seemingly healthy. That old adage that ignorance is bliss feels quite true right now, but I don't want to allow myself to feel anger or anything else. I just want to pretend, if only for a few days, that everything is fine and I am blissfully happy.

  Fake it ‘til you make it. I remind myself.

  I start to get up and head out of the room to check on Nevaeh when I hear her shout from across the house, “Hey Cassi, put your suit on, let’s sit in the hot tub!” This cheers me right up and I am so thankful for that girl because if there is anyone who can change a mood, it has to be my best friend.

  “Sounds good to me!”

  A surge of excitement reaches me and I rush to get out of the t-shirt and shorts that feel stuck to me already from the nasty humidity. I brought a bikini and a one-piece suit with me, but since it’s just us girls, I opt for the black bikini bec
ause my pale skin could use a little color. I look at my figure in the mirror, somewhat happy with my appearance. I’ve lost a few pounds, not that I need to lose any, probably from the lack of sleep and no appetite. Luckily, I had been able to layout a couple of days before coming out here, which has helped me look a smidge better. I pull my hair into a high ponytail and grab us some towels on the way to the patio.

  Nevaeh must have turned the jets on because I can hear the motor humming from inside and the doors are wide open, allowing an occasional breeze into the house. I step on to the patio and take some time to admire the view we have for the next few days and it is just beautiful. The house is nestled on a bluff among and dense tree population. I am so high above that I can actually see the tops of some of the tree as I look out to the lake in the distance. I close my eyes at allow the sun’s warmth to sink in and listen closely to the sounds around me. Despite seeing a few speedboats in the water with skiers behind them, it’s quiet. It’s unbelievably peaceful and the only sounds are the rustling trees and the hot tub, both of which are soothing.

  "I'm getting in," I call out to Nev. "Bring the wine on your way out." I climb into the tub, taking a seat to face the picturesque landscape and put my sunglasses on so I can lay my head on the cushion. Taking a deep breath, I fully relax, closing my eyes and listening to the sounds around me. I’m so relaxed, that I don't bother opening my eyes when I hear Nevaeh’s footsteps as she comes outside because it would take too much effort. She hands me a glass over my shoulder and I happily take it.

  “Thank you doll, you are much too good to me,” I replied in my best southern belle accent.

  “You know it, hon,” she says as she climbs in across from me. She takes a similar position as she makes herself comfortable leaning against the back wall of the hot tub.

  “So, any word on Luke?” I ask her, in all honesty, not interested at this point because I could fall asleep right here for the entire weekend and care about nothing else. Then again, I’d probably drown, so that’s not a good idea.

  “Actually, I did hear from him,” she says and I look at her for more information. “They should be here anytime now,” she finishes with a smile.

  I resume my relaxed position and close my eyes once more determined to get some answers about the man who has transformed my best friend into a boy-crazy teen. “Tell me about this Luke of yours,” I ask. “Where is he from?”

  I jump at the sound of a low voice with a thick drawl answering from behind me, “Well, I’m from Austin, originally, but now I live in Houston.” Cautiously, I raise my head to look at my best friend who has a beaming smile on her face staring over my shoulder. But what catches me off guard isn’t the look on her face, it’s that voice. I know that voice. But I’m almost too nervous to confirm it.

  Nev looks at me and makes a formal introduction, “Cassi, this is my boyfriend, Luke.”

  When I turn around, I am faced with seeing Drew’s roommate from college standing behind me. I can’t contain my smile because I spent countless times hanging out with him when I would visit Austin. He was always good for a laugh and an overall nice guy. I haven’t seen him in forever, but before I find my voice to greet him I see someone else moving in the living room behind Luke just before Nev continues, “and I believe you remember Drew.”

  “Drew?” I feel my eyes tear from the shock of hearing his name and I’m suddenly lightheaded.

  What the hell is going on? He walks to the door and stands next to Luke looking as handsome as ever, and my face flames red. I’m more than a little irritated that I seem to be the butt of some inside joke among the three people with me.

  “Pia?” He says timidly. The use of his nickname takes me back to another time when things were coming together for us, but that was a long time ago and no one uses that name anymore.

  “Don’t call me that,” I state, a little more venomous than I intend. A flood of emotions washes over me, as do the feelings and memories that I shared with him once. But not all of them are good. He looks so unsure, and I realize he is waiting for me to say something.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask in confusion.

  “I came to see you.”

  The Past: Elvis or Ink

  Two weeks before the fall semester started, my parents drove me up to College Station to get me settled into my new place with Nev. Since the university had a shortage of dorms, freshmen were allowed to find housing off campus and avoid dorm life altogether. We were excited to get out there and feel like real adults, it looked so fabulous on TV. Problem was, we had searched everywhere for the perfect place, and when we couldn’t find perfection, we settled for what was affordable.

  We found the seediest apartment and somehow managed to make the place look pretty decent. Between Nevaeh's style and my clean-freak nature, it had become ours and we couldn't have been happier. Well, one thing would have made me happier, having Drew with me.

  After the party, when he told me how he felt about me, things were a little strange for a week or so. I guess we kind of avoided each other a little, gaining some space. Him because he had bared his soul and I pretty much blew him off. And me because, well, I hadn’t thought about us in that way before. Although I loved making out with him, I was always too afraid of anything else for fear it would ruin the friendship that we had. I just kept thinking that a relationship that started in high school would end in college, and while I could survive that, I could not survive losing my best friend. So opted to take the chicken-shit route, and avoided the subject altogether.

  We spent almost everyday of the summer together just hanging out and getting our things together for our separate schools. Somewhere along the way, I started to see him in a romantic way; the way he had wanted me too. But I was too afraid to acknowledge it for fear of rejection because our time had passed, so I never pushed it. I chose instead to spend as much time with him, as my friend, as possible.

  He had promised to come see Nev and me once school had started and before the semester started getting busy. We still talked all the time, and he was the best part of my day. I knew he was meeting new people and probably even dating, but he always made time for me, and I loved that. I missed him so much that it hurt.

  One day I called him, completely frustrated with the way my classes had gone. Drew was my sounding board for anything having to do with school, but mostly, he just backed me up. The times that he didn’t, they annoyed the shit out of me.

  “Uhhh!” I groaned when he finally answered the phone. Not exactly a greeting, I'll admit, but I was beyond irritated, so it fit, but he just laughed.

  “Busy? Wanna call me back,” he teased. He was not sympathetic, at least when it came to school.

  “Shut up,” I whined, “I'm so pissed!”

  “Why?” he whined back mocking me.

  “My English lit prof just gave us an extra assignment that wasn't on the syllabus. As if we don’t have enough already, we now have to write a ten-page paper on the differences between the Bronte sisters.”

  He was quiet before he answered with mocked annoyance, “What an asshole!” He got a little more serious to put me in my place, “You know, you are an English major, perhaps you should change, that is, if you don't want to write.”

  “Don’t be a smart ass, you would be pissed too!”

  “I am a smart ass, because I just aced my first bio test.”

  “I hate you,” I replied shortly.

  “You love me and you know it, so stop bitching.”

  “Stop bragging, or I'll hang up.”

  “So is this all you called for, to whine?”

  “That and to see when you are coming to visit. Nev and I need to do something fun, so get your ass out here and take us out.” I ordered, knowing he couldn’t pass up the chance to party.

  He seemed to be distracted, before he finally answered, “I won't be coming out as soon as I had hoped.”

  I was immediately disappointed he was bailing again. It seemed so long since we'd gotten to
hang out and every time we made plans, something came up. I missed him more than I would have thought, but I knew it couldn't be helped. I just didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.

  I guess he didn’t like the silence either, or disappointing me because he conceded. “Look, how 'bout this, I'll come out this weekend, but I'm going to have to do a little bit of studying while I'm there. I mean it, Cass. I have to pass this test.” He warned.

  “Really! You're coming out?” I was doing a happy dance right then, even though he couldn’t see it.

  “I’ll see you Friday, but Cass,” his tone turned serious, “we’re studying.”

  That Friday when he showed up at my door, I thought I was going to explode. As soon as I opened it, I jumped into his arms and gave him the biggest damn hug ever. He returned mine with an equally tight, almost crush-my-ribs, hug.

  “Can't. Breathe.” I said tapping at his back.

  “Oh,” he smiled sheepishly, “sorry. I didn't mean to squeeze so hard, I guess I missed you.”

  “It's okay, I'm just so happy to see you.” I realized we were still standing in the doorway, so I showed him in and brought him into the living room. He stopped and looked around, “Where's Nev?”

  “Class,” I said with a wave of my hand. “She’ll be here later, she’s tending bar tonight but she’s excited to see you, too.”

  There was an uncomfortable silence before I realized he had never seen our apartment before, but luckily, my manners kicked in. I'm sure my descriptions did not do the place justice. It was a true piece of crap, despite everything we had done to make it livable. I could lie to myself all day long that we worked wonders, but a step outside, and you knew it was hell. I linked my arm into his and gave him the grand tour, all one thousand square feet of it. I stopped at my door and waved him in.