Not Your Fault
Page 13
“That’s not why I was laughing,” he says. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb, and then drags his hand across his face. “I was laughing because I did the same thing. I even brought him a sort of peace offering of Mountain Dew and beef jerky.”
“That was you?” I ask. My heart fills with warm fuzzies at the realization that Kris had been to the cemetery just hours before me.
He nods. “I didn’t ask him for a sign, but I did talk to him, just hoping I would know in my heart what I should do.”
“And did you?”
He kisses my forehead. “What do you think?”
Chapter 22
I park behind Cat’s car and step out onto the plush green lawn of Grace Memorial Park. I should have brought some beef jerky and Mountain Dew with me, maybe that would give me the strength to do what I’m about to do.
Step into the lion’s den.
My mother and sister sit quietly on the park bench in front of Tyler’s headstone, their backs to me as I approach them from the sidewalk. Talking with me was Mom’s idea, but meeting at the cemetery was all Cat. Always the one to step in and mediate, Cat claimed that ‘talking in front of Tyler’ would insure that both of us remained civil and, hopefully, that Mom would hold her anger in long enough for me to explain myself.
“Catherine informed me that you and Nathan broke up weeks ago,” Mom says the moment after I say hello. I nod in reply, my mouth suddenly too dry to form words. Cat stands up and motions for me to take her place on the bench.
As much as I do not want to sit down, I do. I glance at Tyler’s graduation photo for strength and his smiling face actually helps a little. I clear my throat. “Yes, Mom. We broke up.”
Mom sits straight, her arms clasped tightly in her lap. A thick layer of makeup covers the dark circles under her eyes, but just because I can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. “Catherine also said you had something to tell me.”
I nod again. “After Tyler died, Nathan wrote a letter to Kris pretending to be me. He said that I didn’t want to see him ever again. Kris thought it was from me and he did what he was told.”
Mom lifts an eyebrow. “Why do you believe this story?”
“Because I saw the letter. He kept it and it was from my same Hello Kitty stationary.” I begin listing all the factual evidence I have to support my claim but then I stop, remembering that this is not a courtroom and I don’t owe any explanations. “Because I love Kris, Mom. And when he says he got that letter, I believe him.”
Mom inhales a deep breath and when she exhales, tears form in her eyes. She glances toward Tyler’s photo, maybe looking for the same strength that I needed from him. “Why would Nathan do that?”
I shrug. “He followed me around like a puppy all those years, remember? I guess he was just that desperate to date me.”
Mom’s lips form a thin line and I flinch on instinct, preparing for whatever outburst she’s about to unleash on me. “Well,” she says as the hint of a smile tugs at her lips. “You were quite the catch back then.”
I smile and shake my head, feeling blood rush into my cheeks.
She takes my hand. “Why did you keep all of these things from me?”
I glance back at Tyler’s photo to suck up some more courage before I reply. “Because you’re never around, Mom. You never call anymore and when I call you I get your voicemail. You need to believe me when I say that I didn’t mean to keep all of this from you. I would never mean to hurt you.”
She pulls me into a hug and apologizes as her tears run down my shoulder. “I know you love him, honey. You always have.”
I pull back and glance at Cat. She gives me wide eyes and a gesture to keep talking. “Do you think you will ever stop hating him?” I ask my mother.
She thinks about it for a moment. “I don’t…hate…him. The past is the past. I want you to be happy. I want the same for Catherine and for your father and me.”
I bite my lip. “That’s kind of cryptic.”
She gives me a sad smile. “I just need some time.”
Cat gives me a thumbs up behind Mom’s back. “So,” Mom says. “Do you have any plans for your birthday tonight?”
“Kris is taking me to dinner.” I feel guilty saying it, but it’s the truth.
Mom looks at my sister. “Do you mind if we come too?”
“Of course,” I tell her. I can only imagine what Kris will say when I call him later with this news, but it’s a start to putting this family back together. It only seems fitting to have this reunion on my birthday.
Later, Kris stands in front of the full-length mirror built into his closet door. He fidgets with his tie, yanking it to the left and then to the right, and then making it a little looser. He runs a hand through his hair and then stares at himself, an unimpressed look on his face.
I finish my hairstyle with one final bobby pin and then walk up behind him, sliding my arms around his waist and nuzzling against his back. “I know you’re worried,” I begin, hoping that I’ll think of something comforting to say before I finish my sentence, “But everything wi—”
“Will be just fine,” Kris finishes for me, turning around and wrapping his arms around me. I hook my hands behind his neck. My eyes close when he kisses me and I inhale the amazing scent of his cologne. We’ve slept in the same bed together for four days, yet I never get tired of his smell.
When our lips part, he kisses my cheek and then my forehead and my eyebrow and nose in quick succession. “I love you, Delaney.”
I smile up at him, getting lost his eyes. “I love you, Kris.”
I don’t know what the future holds for Kris and me. I don’t know if my mother will be able to put this behind her and move on. But I do know one thing—in the same way that Tyler’s death was unexpected, life is unexpected. While we’re alive we need to make the most of every moment. That’s something I’ve heard a million times, but only now do I truly understand the weight of those words.
This is my life. I didn’t need a lobotomy toggle switch to get me through it—I needed love. Love comes and it goes but when it comes for real, you know it. I stare at the beautiful man standing in front of me and my heart swells with so much love, love that you can’t possibly feel without having experienced pain. He takes my hand and we head into the next journey of our lives, together.
And I know that everything will be okay.
Acknowledgements
First of all, I would like to thank Spell Check for having my back when I type the word Acknowledgements because I will never type that word correctly on the first try. Since I hope to publish many more books in the future, I know you and I will become the best of friends.
To indie authors and bloggers and readers – thank you. An author can never imagine the overwhelming support of these people until you receive it firsthand. Thanks for making my dream come true and for sticking with me as I find my place in the world of indie publishing.
Thank you Melissa Anderson for reading each chapter as I wrote it and for giving me unwavering support and encouragement in a way only a true fan of reading can do. You are awesome and I hope I made you proud.
Tons of thanks to Susan Connally, for so many reasons I can’t even try listing them all. <3
Nikki Godwin is awesome (duh!) and even though sexy NA books aren’t her thing, she’s still being mentioned because she’s my rock when I crumble. THANK YOU! #TeamMilo #TeamAGOS #TeamMicah
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cheyanne is a native Texan with a fear of cold weather and a coffee addiction that probably needs an intervention. She loves books, sarcasm, nail polish and paid holidays. She lives near the beach with her daughter, one spoiled rotten puppy and a cat who is most likely plotting to take over the world.
FIND CHEYANNE ON THE WEB:
www.CheyanneYoung.com
@NormalChey
www.Facebook.com/AuthorCheyanneYoung
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter
2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22