Echoes of Her Soul

by Serena Lindahl

  I was thoroughly confused at this point, but the conversation continued before I translated the subject matter. I had heard and read about relationships considered to be kinky, but not a lot. Most of the information had been difficult to attain because I didn't have access to the library. Still, Mum had brought a couple books home one day which explained everything in great detail. She said they were for a research project, but the manuals conveniently appeared the same time Rowan grew serious with a girl he had been seeing. Both Rowan and I had read the books in secret. Delia had been younger, but she had still turned up her nose. At the time, her snootiness had made me feel dirty for being curious. Now, I was glad for the information I had acquired and irritated with Delia and the girls at school who made me think my desires were abnormal.

  "Mason and I are not virgins either. Reed, will it bother you if you are not her first? I assume you were holding out for your Soul Match? I know your parents are very close."

  Now, Ian’s superior knowledge slightly irritated me. He knew more about my partners than I did, and he probably knew Reed was a virgin before the Scholar admitted it. Was there any information he wasn't privy to? I nearly stamped my foot in frustration before I remembered I wasn't supposed to be eavesdropping.

  The silence drew out, punctuated only by rustling and clinking dishes. I assumed Reed was fidgeting nervously before speaking. "I was. And I have considered the possibility. She may want someone more experienced for her first time. I accept that. I want her to be happy and satisfied. I'm not certain I can provide that my first time." My heart nearly melted with the sentiment. Of course, I'd prefer that I learned these things first hand, but I appreciated hearing them in any form.

  Clay cleared his throat. "I can offer some tips on that. I may not be the most experienced, but I have received far more education than the books in the library can offer." Discomfort rang along the bond. Reed was trying to decide if he wanted to be tutored in lovemaking by another of his Soul Match's partners. I sympathized with all of them at that moment. I had them all to myself, and they were forced to share. It wasn't fair.

  "I've told Kiarra I prefer to wait, although every moment with her tests my resolve," Mason's words were firm and certain. He bore his convictions well. If he was embarrassed, his voice didn't reveal the emotion. "I want to be certain she is ready. I don't want the bond rushing us into consummating our relationship."

  "Aye, that's part of the reason I recommend we take this slow. Kiarra has so much to tend with at the moment. Rushing into sexual relationships with several men might be too much." I bit my lip and clenched my fists. I wanted to stomp into the outer room and give them a piece of my mind. Shouldn't that be my decision? If I wanted them and they wanted me, what was the point in waiting?

  "In the meantime, I think introducing her to foreplay without sex is understandable." My anger abated slightly. At least Ian didn't plan on convincing them not to touch me. I couldn't take that.

  "And practically impossible to avoid," Clay added. "I'm not sure if you feel the same, but I can't resist her. My desire has nothing to do with the magic of the soul bond. It has everything to do with her beauty, her intelligence, and her compassion."

  Murmurs of agreement filled the room, and I attempted to regain my patience. They were merely looking out for me, but I still felt a bit like a child.

  "So no sex yet?" Seb's voice was chipper. My grin flashed at his obvious excitement. "Anything else goes?" A tense moment of deliberation followed as each man questioned himself.

  "Aye," Ian said at last. I hadn't expected him to be the leader of the group, but it made sense. He was the oldest with the most life experience. He didn't seem to possess any barriers regarding honesty in our intimate setting. He couldn't usually relax and be himself, and I wondered if he rejoiced in having a place he could be himself without having to adopt his usual shadowy mysteriousness. "We'll let Kiarra decide the pace and if she wants anything else. We may not be able to hold out, any of us, but giving her a week to settle into the bond and her new future is reasonable."

  A week. I might be able to handle that. I still couldn't decide how to select who I wanted first. I was probably making a bigger deal out of it than necessary, but I wasn't ready to sleep with anyone until I came to a decision. I wish I didn't have to make the decision. If I slept with all of them at once, maybe it wouldn't feel as if I was picking one over the other. My body heated with the idea.

  "All right, then. I'm exhausted. Good night everyone."

  Furniture rustled, and I moved away from the door. Still, several minutes of silence reigned in the outer chamber before Ian's confident knock echoed through my room. I let him in, my hair swirling around me.

  "You can't make those decisions without me," I began. Ian grinned but placed a finger on my lips before I could say anything else. He nodded his head toward the table. Bridget was clearing away the dishes of our meal. She glanced at me, her face flushed. I assumed one of the men had let her in as they left, but she turned different shades of red whenever any of my matches were around. I understood her shyness, but I did hope she grew accustomed to their presence. She was making me nervous with her anxiety.

  "Do you need anything tonight, Miss?"

  "No, Bridget. Thank you."

  Ian gently took my arm and led me into my bedchamber, shutting the door firmly behind him. I put my ear to the slab of wood, curious to test my earlier theory. I heard nothing from the outer room, not the jingle of silverware or the rustle of fabric which I was sure filled the chamber. I frowned.

  Ian watched me, his head cocked. "The door is designed a certain way. Sound filters through perfectly if left open just a crack, which is indiscernible because of the thick jamb. When closed completely, the door creates a soundproof barrier similar to each of the doors leading to our rooms. I believe they're actually reinforced with steel to prevent sound from leaking through. I wonder if one of the Queen's matches was a jealous man and she built the quarters to protect him from hearing her with her other partners."

  Ian looked at home in my room, though his shoulders slumped in weariness. I shoved aside my anger for the moment, worried about the exhaustion which shadowed his features. I clasped his arm, led him over to my bed, and pushed him to sit on the edge. He didn't fight me.

  "You're exhausted," I observed. "You haven't slept yet, have you?"

  He shook his head, his dark hair falling in his eyes. Swiping a hand over his face, he sighed, looking younger than I had ever seen him. "Nay, Lass. It has been a long week."

  I toed off my slippers and crawled into a kneeling position behind him on the bed. I kneaded the tense muscles in his shoulders. The groan of satisfaction which rumbled through him echoed deep inside me. "I used to do this for Mum when she'd had a long day," I explained. "She had special herbs she would give me to massage into her muscles. Reading and writing take a toll on the body, far more than one would think."

  "Aye, I imagine." The more Ian relaxed, the more his accent appeared. The lilting burr was beautiful in its dichotomy of rough musicality. "Speaking of herbs, she should be able to procure you some to prevent pregnancy."

  I grinned though we weren't facing each other. His flesh was warm through the thin gray tunic, but I feared the cloth chafed his skin. I wanted to take off his shirt but wasn't certain how he'd respond to my request. "Yes, she already gave me some."

  Ian chuckled, his shoulders shaking. "Your mother is a brilliant and very well prepared woman."

  "That she is," I agreed. I cocked my head, thinking, as my fingers continued to dig into his lean muscles. I loved the sensation of the tight knots giving way to smooth, firm flesh. "You wanted me to overhear that conversation?"

  I brushed aside the hair which fell at the nape of his neck. It was coarser in texture than Reed's or Clay's hair. I still enjoyed the tickle of it against my skin, though. My thumbs moved upwards along the column of his neck. He hung his head forward, his eyes shutting.

  "Aye." He groaned deeply as my finger
s dug into him, the sound traveling directly to my core. "I didn't want to repeat the entire conversation and believed the men might be more open if you weren't in the room. They all knew you were listening, though. The bond is such now that we can feel you near no matter the barriers between us. It's stronger if you aren't behind a wall or a door. I noted your anger, your surprise, and your desire."

  "Oh." My cheeks reddened in the darkened room. I wasn't certain how to react to his revelation. It was only fair, I supposed. I had heard their words, and they had felt my emotions. I bunched the tunic in my hands. "If you take your shirt off, I could rub you harder."

  Chapter 8

  Ian

  Ian laughed, doubling over in his mirth. His sudden amusement surprised Kiarra. He peeked at her over his shoulder. In the dim light, her eyes were almost black, a dark blue which sucked all the shadows of the night into them. His beauty was a lady of darkness as much as she was a lady of the light. He was slowly learning the mystery of Kiarra, of her past and her future. He wagered he could live a lifetime with her and still not learn everything about her. She, and everything that revolved around her, continually surprised him, including her other Soul Matches.

  "I imagine you could, Lass," he growled suggestively.

  The pink rose in her cheeks as she caught his double meaning. "I meant your shoulders, Shadow Spy, since you all have decided we are not going in that particular direction yet." Her voice hardened, and Ian glanced back at her again.

  He turned halfway towards her, catching her hand in his. Her skin was silky smooth. The strength in her hands and arms when she had massaged him had surprised him. She had so many layers to her. He was going to enjoy uncovering each layer. His eyes dipped to the creamy swell of her breasts above the plunging neckline of her dress. He knew precisely which layer he'd start with.

  "You're upset about the wait?" It took him a moment to remember what they were talking about.

  She shrugged, the silky hair on her shoulders sliding across her smooth skin. A few strands fell forward and tangled in her cleavage, drawing his gaze down again. "I think you are all determined to make me burn to death from the inside-out. I shall be nothing but a pile of ashes on the floor in a week." Her eyes spit fire, and Ian grinned.

  "Such dramatics, Lass."

  "Well, you are all burning and experiencing the bond's insistence, right? Now, imagine that times five."

  Ian's eyes widened as her words sank in. He had meant to protect her and ease her into their relationships, but he couldn't fathom the level of tension running through her if that was the case. He considered his answer. "We have other ways of easing your burn without having sex, Lass."

  "Really?" She raised her brows, her tone naturally curious. Ian frowned at her; being a virgin was different than being entirely innocent or ignorant.

  "I know you're still a virgin, but how innocent are you?"

  Her eyes dropped to the purple bedspread. Her bed was far more comfortable than the one in his room. He hadn't slept in his bed yet, but he sat on it the night before, thinking about sleeping. The hardness of the mattress had convinced him to search for answers instead of tossing and turning on the slab. He didn’t know if the differences were intentional or attributable to the haste with which the rooms had been remodeled.

  "Yours was my first kiss on the lips," she confessed. "Since then, I've kissed Reed, Mason, and Clay."

  "And you've never pleasured yourself or had others pleasure you?" He knew her classmates had shunned her, but he figured a few of the boys would overlook their prejudices because of her beauty. He hadn't investigated the matter, more concerned with her other Match's pasts.

  Kiarra wrinkled her nose. "I shared a bedroom with the Ice Queen, so private time was not easy to attain. And no, beyond the kisses, I haven't experienced anything sexual."

  He grinned, hoping to relax her. "Well, then, we have much to show you. Unfortunately, not tonight. I am too tired to do anything properly, but soon. If I don't ease your desire, I'm certain one of the others will."

  "You don't seem upset that I have other partners. I meant to speak to all of you individually. How are you coping with being one of five?"

  Ian answered honestly. "I like your other Matches, Lass. If I have to share my woman, I couldn't imagine better men. They each bring something out within you that entrances me. I love the mystery that unfolds when you are with them." He would save the other reasons why he was excited about the arrangement for later. Being a spy, he had an interest in voyeuristic activity, and he couldn't wait to observe the men with Kiarra.

  "Speaking of teaching me new things..." Kiarra began slowly, accepting his answer at face value. They were sitting face to face on the bed now, Ian's hands on her knees. He missed her touch on his shoulders, but he didn’t know if she was ready to face what his shirt concealed.

  "Seb?" he asked, guessing her nervousness. She nodded, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. Tired or not, his cock hardened. He loved it when she did that. She had plump lips, perfect for sucking and biting. The action also reminded him of the first time he had laid eyes upon her and stood next to her, the first moment he began to fall under her spell. He took a deep breath, returning his attention to the matter at hand. "I asked Seb if I could elaborate before I came in here. Tis nothing to fret about, Lass. Seb would never hurt you. He likes things a little rough is all."

  "Rough?" Kiarra's dark eyes rose to his.

  Ian shrugged. Seb should be the one explaining, but the Planner had given him permission. He had been relieved Ian would help break the ice. Ian wanted Kiarra to be prepared. He trusted Seb, but if Kiarra was a true innocent, he didn't want her frightened. "Some men like to be in control when they're making love. Seb likes to be in control."

  "Hmmm, that doesn't sound too bad."

  The openness in her voice and gaze hardened him further. "He'll ease you into his desires, Lass. If you don't like anything he does, tell him so, and he'll stop. Both partners should agree to anything done between them. It's not right if one of them doesn't agree or isn't asked."

  Kiarra nodded. She lifted a hand and traced a path along his jaw. His whiskers rasped. "You need sleep," she said shortly.

  "Aye," he agreed with a weary nod. His bedroom was too far away. She studied his face sympathetically, and he wondered how pathetic he looked.

  "Will you sleep better if you stay here with me?"

  "You want me to sleep with you?"

  She shrugged. "We already decided nothing untoward will happen. The bed is too big for me alone. If you'll rest better in your room, please do, but I want to make sure you sleep."

  Ian's heart filled with gratitude. He wasn't accustomed to people looking out for him. The sensation was alien and wonderful at the same time. It reminded him of the mother he'd had briefly. "I will sleep better knowing you are safe, Lass. Lying next to you will assure me of your safety."

  "Then stay," she said firmly. "Are you seriously worried about my safety, even in the palace?"

  Ian met her frank gaze. "I'll always be concerned for your safety, Lass. Now, trade your dress for something more comfortable and let's sleep."

  She laughed as she rose and he swatted her butt playfully. His palm barely grazed her with all the fabric covering her bottom, but she jumped anyway. She retrieved something light and silky out of her drawers and disappeared into the bathroom. Ian pulled off his boots and turned down all the lights except the one closest to the bed. One dagger went on the nightstand and the other, in its sheath, went under his pillow. Deliberating only a moment, he removed his shirt and breeches and lay down under the covers in his undershorts. He might be concerned about her innocence, but he wouldn't sleep well if he stayed dressed. As for the other matter, well, she was bound to find out at some point.

  When she emerged from the bathroom, Ian was close to sleep. Her bed was far more comfortable than his. She approached the bed slowly, her nervousness wafting off her. She probably hadn't considered what it would mean to be slee
ping near a man when she'd asked him to stay. She'd only been concerned for his well-being. He lifted the covers up to invite her in, yawning as he did so.

  "Come here, Lass. I'm too tired to ravage you at the moment, as I've already said." She turned off the last lamp and slid in next to him quickly. He groaned in weary frustration at the space between them and pulled her body against his, nestling her head on his shoulder. She fit against him perfectly. When her unbound breasts pressed against his side, the tips of her nipples brushing his naked flesh, he almost came fully awake. Fire burned along his nerve endings. Maybe he wouldn't sleep so well next to her. Compounding his desire, she slung a leg over his thigh, pressing her hot core against his hip. He chewed on his lip in the dark as her heart beat a tattoo against his ribs.

  "Are you sure you're going to sleep better?" she whispered. The moon soared high tonight and lit the room with a silver glow. He realized she sensed his desire along the bond when her body wiggled almost imperceptibly against his.

  "I thought I would until you started pressing up against me," he answered honestly. She tried to pull away, but Ian tightened his hold, preventing her from moving. "No, Lass, I don't want you to move. I want to feel your body against mine. The exhaustion will win over the desire before long. I haven't slept in two days."

  Kiarra settled with his words, her little squirms against his body ceasing. He tried to ignore the perfection of her against him and the ache in his groin, rejoicing in her warmth and the comfort of the bed instead. She was safe here. After he'd made up his mind to retreat to the darkness, he was asleep within minutes.

  Ian woke in the early light of morning, more refreshed than he had felt in weeks. He usually never slept deeply, and he didn't need as much rest as most people, but he had slept peacefully in Kiarra's arms. He studied the beautiful woman lying beside him. Her mahogany hair spilled over the white pillows, glimmering with red and blonde in the pale light of the rising sun. Equally dark, thick lashes formed crescents on her bronzed cheeks.