Stripped Bare

by Heidi McLaughlin

With my face buried into my pillow I cry as loud as I can, letting it all out. When the bed dips, I know it’s Finn and before I can protest I’m in his arms and he’s nuzzling my hair.

  “Why so many tears, Macey?”

  “I’m scared.”

  “Of what? That she’s going to love me? Is that so bad?”

  I shake my head. “That you’re going to take her away from me.”

  Finn doesn’t say anything but continues to hold me, allowing me to cry out all that I have left within me. I lose track of time and when I look at Finn, he meets my gaze.

  “I’m not going to take her away from you.”

  “Promise?”

  “With everything that I have. I’m going to need you to be this amazing mother to her because I will probably fail miserably at being a father. I don’t know shit about being a dad, but I already know that you love her more than anything and honestly, I’m jealous. I want to know her, Macey. And I want her to know I’m her dad.”

  “Tomorrow,” I tell him. “Tomorrow I’ll tell her.”

  “We’ll do it together in the morning.” He pulls me closer and slides his hand up under my shirt.

  “Finn, we can’t…” I push him away and try to move to the other side of my bed, but he holds me to him.

  “We can sleep and before she wakes I’ll go to the couch.”

  “Have you ever shared a bed with a woman who kept her clothes on?” I ask him, causing him to laugh.

  “No, but there’s a first time for everything. Besides, who said anything about keeping your clothes on?”

  “Finn…” I warn him.

  “What?” he asks as my shirt comes up over my head. I’m weak for him and I hate it. His lips start at my neck and move their way down until he’s biting me through my bra. “I’ve missed this with you, Macey. I’ll be quiet if you are.” He winks as he goes back to making me feel…feel like he cares and wants to be with me.

  Chapter 22

  Finn

  Macey’s couch is the most uncomfortable piece of furniture I have ever slept on and I’ve slept on some shitty couches before. Every few inches there’s a spring prodding me in my back, reminding me of how different Macey and I live, and how I can change it all for her in the blink of an eye.

  At about four-thirty in the morning, Macey woke in a panic and scared the shit out of me. I thought someone was breaking into her apartment and ran out of her room stark-ass naked with her chasing me, frantically waving my clothes at me. That’s when it dawned on me. The sun was going to start rising and Morgan would be waking up.

  Last night, Macey didn’t want me in her room, but I stayed and cashed in the last of what she owed me, although being with her didn’t feel like that. Something has changed within me in these past few days and I can’t put my finger on it, but I know it has to do with Macey.

  Sleeping with Macey…it was more out of desire and longing as opposed to having someone readily available to meet my needs. We fooled around longer, the foreplay was more sensual instead of a path toward an end, and I can easily say holding her naked body against mine and talking to her until she fell asleep was the most sexually charged moment of my life.

  I’m still battling the demon inside, the one who wants me to berate Macey for keeping Morgan from me, but my heart is telling me otherwise. Macey and I come from two different worlds and for her to have the courage to go to my mother speaks volumes. My mother, and maybe even my father, on the other hand—I can’t comprehend why she didn’t tell me, why she felt the need to hide this from me. Did she think I wouldn’t be able to handle being a father at eighteen? Or that I wouldn’t be there for Morgan the way I can be now?

  I hear a door open and quickly sit up, straightening my hair and my shirt. I don’t know what I’m going to say to Morgan yet, but she will know that I’m her father before she has to leave for school. I’m also hoping to convince Macey to play hooky from work again, even though she’s called in sick these past few days. Truthfully, she doesn’t need a job anymore because I’m going to take care of her…

  My inner musings slap me in the face. Last night I told Macey I’d take care of Morgan, not her. She must think my daughter is going to live a luxurious life while she works her fingers to the bone. That’s not the case. Macey mentioned having enrolled in college last night, and I fully intend for her to succeed on my dime.

  “Hi,” the tiny voice of my daughter says. I look over and see her rubbing her eyes. Her hair is crazy and going all over the place, making it seem like her night was met with bad dreams. She wears a nightgown that has some character on the front, probably from her favorite movie.

  “Good morning. How’d you sleep?”

  “Fine. Where’s my mom?”

  I stay seated on the couch while Morgan stands between the hallway and me. If I didn’t know better I’d say she’s blocking me from going down the hall to where Macey is.

  “I think she’s in the shower.”

  “Did you have a sleepover?”

  “Yes.” As soon as I answer her, I wonder how many other men have come in and out of Morgan’s life and make a mental note to ask Macey, although I imagine the conversation is not going to go that well. Either way, I want to know. If not for my own peace of mind, then…no, it’s only for my knowledge.

  “Oh. What’s your name?”

  “Finn.”

  “That’s a funny name,” she says, laughing, and I find myself laughing right along with her.

  “I know, but I’m named after my dad. His name is Finnegan.”

  “That one is funny too.”

  After a short silence, she looks into the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”

  She nods and takes her place at the little table for two. I get up and make my way into the kitchen, which is smaller than my guest bathroom. While the refrigerator has food in it, it’s not stocked. I already know what Macey did with the money I gave her thanks to Lamar and know she’s living on a budget, but this is ridiculous. Kids are supposed to have a fridge full of food to offer their friends when they come over.

  “What does your mom usually make you?” I ask, staring at a half gallon of milk, cheese, yogurt and some fruit.

  “Sometimes I get a muffin on the way to school or I have cereal.”

  “What are you doing?” I shut the door at the sound of Macey’s voice. By the look on her face, she’s embarrassed.

  “Morgan wants breakfast.”

  She looks from me to Morgan and back again. “Um…”

  “So I thought we’d go out, right?” I lean slightly so Morgan can see my expression, hoping that she catches on to what I’m saying right now. “And I think a day of hanging out is in order.”

  “I have to work and Morgan has school.” She brushes past me without making eye contact and stops at the counter. I shrug at Morgan and turn my focus onto Macey, blocking Morgan’s view of her mother.

  “Talk to me,” I implore, pulling her chin toward me. There are tears in her eyes and she’s unable to look at me. “What’s wrong?”

  “I didn’t think you’d be here when I came out of the shower.”

  Looking into her eyes I see nothing but uncertainty. She doesn’t trust me, not that she should. Our relationship, or whatever you want to call it, has been unconventional and I’ve given her nothing to hold against me, until now.

  “I’m not going anywhere…until I have to go back to Vegas. I told you last night, I want this.”

  “You want Morgan.”

  I don’t miss that Macey hasn’t included herself in her statement and for that I’m thankful. I can’t do a relationship with her. Hell, not with anyone. The idea that Brandy wants to get married sickens me. The thought of being with her, and only her, does not appeal to me in the slightest.

  But Macey…No, I can’t think of her like that, think of us like that. Being tied down is not my forte.

  “Of course.” A hint of sadness plays on her features. A stronger man would kiss those fears away, but that’s not me. “I a
lso told you I’d take care of her. That means you don’t have to work, Macey. So call in sick and let Morgan skip school. We’ll go to the lake and have a day to ourselves.”

  “Okay.”

  The urge to kiss her is back, growing stronger and stronger, but I refrain. I know that once I do, the floodgates will open and emotions will take over, confusing us both. Instead, I kiss her gently under her ear and step away, pasting a large smile on my face.

  “Morgan, today I’m going to take you and your mom out to the lake so go get ready and we’ll stop for breakfast along the way.”

  Her eyes go wide and it’s another moment for her that I don’t think happens often, if at all. When she rushes down the hall, her arms are pumping in the air, either from the excitement of going to the lake or because she’s skipping school. If it were me, it’d be the latter.

  “Thank you, Finn.”

  “For what?” I ask, turning around to face Macey.

  “For not taking her away.”

  I pull Macey into my arms and kiss the top of her head. “Never, Macey. You’re her mother, her best friend and her life. Who am I to come in and disrupt what you have?”

  Macey doesn’t say anything and steps out of my hold, disappearing into her bedroom. I look around her small apartment and realize that Macey has done the best she could under the circumstances.

  It also dawns on me that I’m going to have to take Macey and Morgan to my father’s this morning, and I’m not sure how that is going to go over. But the more I think about what my father’s reaction might be, the more I don’t care.

  I’m down the hall and opening Macey’s door without knocking. She gasps and covers her breasts as I lick my lips, remembering how they taste in my mouth.

  “You could’ve knocked,” she says as I stalk toward her.

  “I’ve seen every bit of you naked, Macey. Why do you hide from me?” I pull her arms away from her chest and cup her tits, placing a long wet kiss on both of them.

  “Still…” Her sentence tapers off, her train of thought changed for a quick moment.

  “I want to tell Morgan now, before we leave for the day. We have to stop at my father’s and I plan to tell him as well.”

  Macey steps back and her hands go immediately into her hair, leaving her boobs out in the open and me fantasizing about fucking them.

  “You can go now, we’ll be ready when you come back.”

  “Macey, I want to tell her. She deserves to know.”

  “Your parents didn’t want her,” she says through gritted teeth as she points at the wall.

  I sigh and sit down on her bed, pulling her to me. The fact that she’s bare chested is killing the seriousness of the mood. “I can’t speak for my mother but if I could ask her, I would. I fully intend to ask my father when I see him and if he knew…well, fuck him. Morgan doesn’t need him in her life. And if he didn’t know, well, she’ll gain a grandfather and a step-monster who will probably want to spoil her.”

  “I don’t know, Finn. It’s too risky. What if he says something to her, or me? We aren’t exactly the type he wants you to bring home.”

  I have to laugh at her, mostly because I think my father’s type went out the window when he married my mother’s nurse, but who am I to judge.

  “Please, for me? I know I don’t have any room to ask, but I’m not here for much longer and I don’t want shit looming. Morgan and my father need to know. Fuck, Macey, I want them to know.”

  “What if he’s mean to her?”

  “He won’t be. I can’t vouch for the step-monster, but my father won’t be. I promise you.” I lean forward and rest my face between her breasts and look up at her. She rolls her eyes and pushes me away.

  “Is sex the only thing you think about?”

  “Macey, when it comes to you I have a 24/7 hard-on. My dick is addicted to your pussy, my mouth to your tits and my hands to your body.”

  “Awe, Finn, you should write cards for porn stores.” As she walks away, I swat her ass and she yelps. I have to start thinking about cleaning dirty toilets because every other vision I have leads me right back to bending Macey over and taking her from behind. The last thing I want Morgan to see is me coming out of her mother’s room with a boner.

  As soon as Macey is dressed, she’s checking on Morgan while I thumb through my text messages. Lamar and Hannah are the only ones I respond to, leaving Brandy, Seth and Brady in limbo. They want to know where I am, and unfortunately for them, I’m not telling them.

  When Morgan and Macey come out of her room, I stand and wait for them to come into the living room.

  “Hey,” I say because that is the only word my brain can formulate at the moment.

  “My mom says you have something to tell me.”

  My eyes go from Morgan’s to Macey’s and she’s cocking her eyebrow as if to tell me she’s holding me accountable for everything.

  “We both do,” I counter and point to the kitchen table. Even though it seats only two, I don’t need to sit.

  We walk over there and Macey sits, pulling Morgan into her lap, leaving me the vacant chair. With my hands folded I look at the two of them, each about to destroy me in different ways.

  “Morgan, I’m not sure there is an easy way to say this or if I’m supposed to blurt it out.”

  “Mom says being honest and kind and always telling the truth is what makes you a good person.”

  “Your mom is right, never forget that.” I take a deep breath and look at my daughter, ready to spill the beans. “Morgan, I’m your dad.”

  The room goes silent and I watch her face morph from content to confusion and maybe even anger. Shit, maybe Macey was right and we should’ve waited until later, but I didn’t want to keep putting it off. I didn’t want to keep finding excuses as to why it’s not the right time to tell her.

  “Morgan,” Macey hedges, but she doesn’t say anything. My daughter sets her steely blue eyes onto me and glares. She has to know that if I knew I would’ve been here. I believe that in my heart.

  She opens her mouth to say something, but tears take over instead and she buries her head into Macey’s shoulder. Morgan mumbles something about food and living, hitting home the magnitude of the situation. Macey let me buy her to give our daughter a better life and if this is the life, I don’t want to know where they were living before.

  “Morgan, I promise you from this point forward you will have no worries. None whatsoever. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. Your mom tried to tell me, but someone prevented me from knowing about you.” I touch her arm lightly and return to the sofa, letting her and Macey have their moment together. I fight back the tears as I imagine the squalor they lived in, remembering what the house was like when I dropped Macey off after our first night together.

  Anger bubbles within. I’m pissed at my mom for keeping this from me. For keeping Morgan from our family and for single-handedly ensuring they would live in the slums. Yes, that is my mother’s fault. All she had to do was tell me about Macey and the baby and I would’ve taken care of them.

  “You know what,” I say, standing and coming over to them. “I’m sorry, Morgan. I’m sorry that you’ve lived in…I don’t even know the right words, but that will never ever happen again. If you want to hate me, you can, but know that I’m going to make sure you’re the happiest kid in the world. And if your mom never wants to work again, she doesn’t have to.”

  “How? Are you rich or something?”

  I stand tall and proud. “So rich and you can have it all.”

  Chapter 23

  Macey

  It doesn’t take much coaxing to get Morgan out of the house, especially once Finn told her that we’d be going out on a yacht and he’d teach her to ride a Jet Ski. I balked because she doesn’t know how to swim, but that didn’t seem to faze Finn. It may have Morgan, but I think she’s excited to experience something she never has. He also mentioned taking her shopping later, which I really shook my head at, but Finn ignored me. Having him in her li
fe, which I know is going to be a good thing for her, is going to be hard for me to take. I can’t offer her the material things he can and while I don’t want her to become spoiled, I do want her to have things the other kids do. I want her to fit in and know that she’s loved. Not that money and love go hand in hand, but for a kid it does. For a kid it means everything, especially when you’ve grown up with nothing.

  Never in a million years would I expect to be riding in a car with Finn and Morgan; only in my wildest dreams have I even imagined this scenario, us as a family, even if we’re a broken one, spending the day together. I tried to be strong and tell Finn no, but the problem with Finn is that the word no doesn’t exist in his vocabulary unless he’s the one saying it. I could tell him no until I’m blue in the face and he’ll try a different approach until he has me whittled down to a pile of mush and saying yes. Finn is a master manipulator and he knows it.

  As we pull up the hill that leads to his father’s house, my hands start to fiddle with anything my fingers can touch. My hair, the hem of my shirt that is covering my bikini top, the tread on my shorts and even the trigger that moves the window up and down. I do this until Finn reaches over and grabs my hand, holding it like he’s done so many times. I’m afraid to check and see if Morgan is watching, if she’s noticing that the man who professed to be her father is holding her mother’s hand. I don’t want her to see. I don’t want her to ask questions about why Finn isn’t here all the time, or why he doesn’t love me. It’ll be bad enough when he leaves and I’m breaking down from the heartache. I swear I thought I was getting over him and then he showed right back up, making my ache for him even deeper.

  Pulling into the circular drive of the McCormick house, my heart beats rapidly. The shortness of breath isn’t lost on Finn as he leans over and whispers, “I’ve got you.” Thing is, I wish he did. I wish he understood why I left him a day early and could grasp that I fell for him hard while in Vegas because I saw the life I could’ve been living, if he had chosen me. When you come from nothing and have nothing, it’s not hard to imagine a life where you have everything. It’s the easiest thing in the world to get accustomed to living a lavish lifestyle, to be treated like you matter and that you’re wanted. In a few days, he’ll go back to Vegas and I’ll deal with the fallout of Morgan questioning where her father is and me wondering if my heart will ever be the same.