Selfish

by Shantel Tessier

  She stands there for a few long seconds, the air in the room growing thick. My phone ringing in my pocket only heightens the tension. I see it’s my mother and press ignore.

  As I pocket my phone, I look up to see the office door closing, and my father takes his seat. He looks at me, his green eyes hard as stone and jaw tight. “How many times have I told you to not mix business with pleasure?”

  “You didn’t have to fire her,” I say although I can’t say I’ll miss her.

  “Yes, I did.” He narrows his eyes at me. “I’m trying to run a billion-dollar company, and she was just trying to get a piece of ass.” I cringe at his word choice since that’s what I did as well. “And once you run this company, you will understand why.” He sighs heavily. “I thought you were better than this.”

  “Excuse me?” I growl.

  “Sleeping around with a woman at the office? Who else have you slept with here?”

  I shake my head. “No one,” I say through gritted teeth. He nods as if he believes me.

  “Then we have nothing else to worry about.” He tosses a file over at me, letting me know the previous conversation is over. The fact that he just fired his assistant is not even a concern. “They’ve set a date for the Anderson auction.” I avoid his eyes as I nod. “We need to come up with a price.”

  “As much as it takes to ensure it’s ours,” I say, clearing my throat.

  He nods. “What are you going to do once you get it?” My father may not be the best father, but he is a great boss. He believes in me here, even if I drive him nuts. He just proved it by saying once and not if I get it.

  I sigh, running a hand through my hair as I sit back on his couch. “I say we sell it off. Bring in our five most reliable buyers and let them pitch us ideas of what they want to do with the property. That way we make our money back and then some.”

  “Sounds like a good idea. But why don’t you wanna keep it?”

  “What would I do with it? We’ll bulldoze the existing building and sell off the land. The building alone isn’t worth much. It’s old and outdated. The only reason I wanted it was for the property. To turn and sell it.” Just saying it out loud is like a punch to the gut.

  ASHLYN

  Milton drops me off, and I run up the stairs into my apartment building. I make sure to wipe the pads of my heels on the black rug to make sure I don’t slip and fall on the slick floors.

  I make my way up to the apartment and walk in humming to myself. “Wow! The date must have gone well.”

  I spin around to see Becca sitting on the kitchen counter. “What are you doing?” I ask with a laugh. “Thought you were meeting your mother?”

  She shrugs. “It ended quicker than I thought.”

  “Wanna talk about it?” I ask. I’ve only met her mother a handful of times, and I don’t even think she said five words to me. In her mother’s eyes, I’m nobody. I don’t have a billion dollars and knowing me won’t help her climb the social ladder. She barely looked at me. I wonder what she would do if she knew I was sleeping with her son?

  “Not really,” Becca says, getting my attention. “I’m just gonna sit up here eating pickles.”

  I walk over to her and take the jar from her and pull out a pickle spear. “Are you pregnant?” I ask.

  She chokes on the pickle, and I have to jump out of the way to keep the piece from hitting me. “God, no!” she squeaks.

  “If you were, whose would it be?” I ask, and she coughs. “I mean my money’s on Jaycent, but I would like an insider’s opinion.”

  “Stop!” she says with laughter.

  “I know you’re sleeping with him,” I state. “I can see it all over your face.”

  Her laughter dies, and she looks down at the pickle in her hand. “You know I wouldn’t tell, Ryder, right? You can trust me,” I add.

  She nods once, pushing a few strands of brown hair behind her ear. “We had sex …” She pauses. “Once.”

  I frown and place the pickle back in the jar. This is gonna need my full attention. “Since we’ve been back here?”

  She shakes her head. “It was a long time ago.” She starts counting on her fingers, trying to figure out the years. “Four years ago.”

  “When you were in high school?”

  “I had just graduated high school.” She looks up at me, and she reaches out grabbing my arm. “You have to keep this between us. Please?”

  I nod quickly. “I promise.” I hold up my pinky finger, and she wraps hers around mine. Then I bring my pinky to my lips and kiss it. She does it too, sealing the promise. We drop our hands. “It was right after graduation. Dad had Ryder in Hawaii working, and he flew in just for the day to see me graduate.” She smiles as she remembers that. “After he flew out, I went to a party with Conner. Well, Conner and I ended up getting into a really big fight, and he left me there.” My eyes widen. “I tried calling him, and he shut his phone off.”

  “How did you get home?” I demand. Conner has always been a fucking ass.

  “Well, I went back inside and had a few more drinks.” She shrugs as if that probably wasn’t her best idea. “An hour later, I went to leave with a girl I had met there. She was gonna drive me home, but as I was going to leave, someone stepped in front of me.”

  “Jaycent,” I say already smiling.

  She nods and gives a rough laugh. “Yes, it was Jaycent. He had shown up sometime during the night. He said that there was no way he was letting someone drive me home who he didn’t know. So he took me home.”

  “And …?”

  She just stares at me, and I roll my eyes. “You gotta give me more than that,” I say.

  “It was a lapse in judgment,” she says defensively.

  I raise my hands. “Hey, I’m not judging you.” I give her a soft smile. “You know all of my secrets.”

  She laughs softly and nods. “It just happened.” She bites her bottom lip. “In the backseat of his car.”

  “What?” I ask laughing. “You had car sex?” I slap her arm. “You’re such a naughty girl.” Her face reddens, and she looks away from me. Becca is so quiet and shy when it comes to sex. She has never discussed her sex life with Conner in the four years I’ve known her, and she has never slept with anyone else as long as I’ve known her. “Wait …” I say, counting up the years.

  “I cheated on Conner with Jaycent,” she whispers.

  “Becca …”

  “I cried after we did it,” she admits, sounding ashamed. I wrap my arms around her and hug her. “Conner never found out, but I tried to make it up to him.”

  “Wait.” I pull away from her. “You’ve been with him the last four years because you were sorry about what you did with Jaycent?”

  She nods as she wipes her eyes. “I had been drinking.” She grabs my upper arms, and her eyes widen. “Ashlyn, I jumped him.” I try not to laugh, and her eyes narrow on me. “Remember that party when I was eleven? The one Ryder and I were telling you about while in Panama City?” I think back to it and nod when I remember them telling me about some girl Ryder was there with who had puked in Becca’s room and she told their parents.

  “Well, that same night, I saw Jaycent making out with a girl from their school. He caught me staring, and I ran off to my room crying. He had followed me. I was only eleven then and didn’t know it. But seven years later, when he drove me home from the party Conner left me at, he told me how he had read my diary that night while I cried my eyes out in the bathroom. He explained to me that over the years, as I got older, he felt the same way about me that I did about him when I was eleven.” She sighs. “I jumped him. He didn’t even have the car in park in my parents’ driveway, and I was attacking him. I had always dreamed about him.” She bites her bottom lip nervously. “I’ve always been in love with him. But I had cheated on Conner with him.”

  I take her hands. “Becca, you’re my best friend. And I want you to listen very carefully.”

  She nods slowly. “You do not owe Conner shit!” I snap. �
�That guy treated you like shit! I do not condone cheating, but what you did to Conner wasn’t cheating.” I give her a soft smile. “So then what happened?”

  “After we were done, he told me that he wanted to be with me. That he knew it could work.” She shakes her head. “It wouldn’t have worked. I was eighteen and about to leave for college. He was twenty-five and my brother’s best friend. It was never going to work.”

  “And now?” I ask.

  She smiles softly. “And now, I feel like we have a chance.”

  I smile and jump up on the countertop beside her, taking the jar from her once again and grabbing the same pickle. “I think you do too.”

  “But Ryder …”

  “Honestly, Becca”—I take a bite of my pickle—“he has no clue what’s going on,” I say as I chew.

  She laughs at that. “He’s too busy with you to think of anything else.”

  I roll my eyes. “Please.”

  “I’m serious; I saw how he looked at you in Florida.”

  “And how was that?” I ask, taking another bite.

  She tilts her head to the side, and a soft smile spreads across her face. “Like he was seeing something for the first time.” I snort. “Like he was feeling something for the first time.”

  I look at her, and my eyes narrow on her. “You can have sex and not feel something for someone,” I state.

  “So you say.” She jumps down off the counter. “But there’s a first time for everything.” Before I can respond, she continues. “Now, tell me about that date.”

  ***

  After I had finished telling Becca about my lunch date with Ryder, she got a phone call. She never told me who it was, but it was obvious it was Jaycent. I sat on her bed while she packed a bag and told me she wouldn’t be home until tomorrow. I didn’t ask any questions. I just eyed her up and down, looking at her cute white linen sundress and pair of light pink heels that she chose to dress in, and then watched her walk out the door.

  Three hours later, I sit on my bed, the curtains open to show me Manhattan as I read Romeo and Juliet when I hear a familiar male’s voice coming down the hallway.

  I look up when I see him standing in my doorway. “Don’t you knock?” I ask, trying not to smile.

  Ryder shakes his head, a smirk playing on his lips. “I don’t have to knock. I have a key,” he says matter-of-factly.

  “I don’t recall allowing you a key.”

  “I don’t recall asking,” he says as his smirk grows to a full smile.

  He pushes off the door and walks into the room, and he undoes the single button on his black suit jacket. I watch hungrily as his muscles flex through his shirt as he slowly slides it off his shoulders. He then tosses it on the bed.

  “What if I was busy?”

  “Are you?” he asks as he reaches up and loosens his tie.

  My sex clenches, but I try to play it cool. “Yes,” I say simply and then lower my eyes to my book. It’s ripped from my hands moments later, and he tosses it to the end of the bed along with his suit jacket. “Ryder …” He grabs my ankles and yanks me down so my back is no longer against the headboard. My shirt rides up exposing my stomach, and his eyes look down at it. His gaze heats, and his tongue comes out to lick his lips.

  I look up at him through my dark lashes, now breathing heavily. He moves slowly to where he hovers over me still dressed, a naughty smile spreading across his face. “I was reading that,” I say breathlessly.

  He buries his head in my neck, and I arch my back. The stubble rough against the skin. I break out in goose bumps. “Romeo, oh Romeo …” he says in his best impression of a woman.

  I laugh and punch him in the arm, totally ruining the moment. “Stop making fun of women everywhere.”

  He gives me soft kisses up my neck until he reaches my ear. “I think that’s an exaggeration,” he whispers, his breath warm against my skin.

  “No. It’s been proven,” I argue. Even I don’t believe myself.

  He chuckles, and it makes a shiver run through me. “I’ll be your Romeo,” he whispers as he trails kisses along my jaw. His right hand grips my left thigh, and he lifts it as I wrap it around his hip. He pumps his hips forward, and I feel his hardness behind his slacks. I want him!

  I run my hands down his back over his crisp shirt. “Does that mean you want me to be your Juliet?” I ask with a smile.

  He pulls back from me, and my arms drop to my side, and he lets go of my thigh. He lowers his body on top of mine, his forearms holding his weight as they rest on either side of my head. He gently runs his hands through my tangled blond hair. “No,” he answers, shaking his head as his eyes follow his hand through my hair. His eyes drop to mine, and my heart picks up speed with the intense look he’s giving me. “I want you to be my Ashlyn.”

  His Ashlyn? “Ryder …”

  He lowers his head, closing the small space between our lips. “Shh,” he whispers against my lips. “Don’t ruin this with some stupid rule.”

  I smile against his lips. That wasn’t even close to what I was thinking. “I’m all yours,” I say and then his lips are on mine.

  His hands tangle in my hair as his tongue enters my mouth. I moan, lifting my hips up to his. I can feel him getting harder with every passing second. His slacks are leaving nothing to the imagination.

  This kiss is different. It’s soft and sweet. His hands are in my hair, and although they are rough and needy, his kiss stays passionate, not desperate.

  My hands slide down his back and over his ass. I grip it tightly, and he rocks back and forth. I pull my lips from his. “Take off your clothes,” I say, sucking in air.

  He opens his mouth, but my cell starts to ring. He pulls away from me, and I reach for him. “I’ll let it ring,” I tell him, sitting up to grab him.

  He picks up my phone off the nightstand and hands it to me. “It’s Becca. You should answer it.”

  “But …” He leans in and gives me a soft kiss, just our lips touching.

  “Gives me time to get undressed,” he says, and I smile. Good idea.

  “Hello?” I ask, answering as he starts unbuttoning his black dress shirt while he makes his way to my bathroom. He closes the door behind him.

  “Hey, you’re home, right?” she asks.

  “Yeah. What’s up?” I say, my legs tightening as I hear the sink turn on. Come fuck me!

  “I, uh, I, uh, need you to do me a favor,” she says, sounding unsure of herself.

  I ignore whatever Ryder is doing in the bathroom and the throbbing between my legs to give her my full attention. “What’s wrong, Becca?”

  She sighs heavily. “It’s Conner. He is coming over to the apartment. I guess he left a few things in Seattle, and he needs them.”

  I roll my eyes. “Becca, we’ve been here for almost a week, and all of a sudden, he needs something. He’s lying.”

  “I know but—” The sound of the doorbell ringing cuts her off. “He’s already there,” she finishes softly.

  “Babe, was that the doorbell?” I hear Ryder call out from the bathroom. I ignore him.

  “What?” I snap to Becca.

  “He called me and was downstairs,” she says in a rush. “I spoke to the lobby guard and told them that they could let him up.”

  I growl in frustration. “Fine,” I say, scooting off the bed. I pull my shirt down and fix my shorts that managed to ride up as well. I take one last quick look at the bathroom to see the door still shut.

  She lets out a long breath as if she’s relaxing as I yank the bedroom door open and storm down the hallway. “Thank you, Ash. I owe you.”

  “Yeah, you do,” I say, passing the kitchen and opening the door to see a pissed-off Conner standing in front of me. He wears a pair of khaki shorts and a blue polo shirt. His black eyes narrow the moment he sees me. “Love you,” I say and hang up.

  He doesn’t even wait for me to allow him in. He walks around me. “Talking to one of your fucks?” he growls. “Did Ryder already dump your
ass?”

  I turn around and face him. He looks around our apartment with a fucking smirk on his face. “Why are you here?” I demand, placing my hands on my hips. “We both know that you left nothing behind.”

  He shrugs. “I wanted to see Becca.”

  I give him a fuck you smile. “She’s not here.”

  His black eyes slam to me, and he narrows them. “Where the fuck is she?” he demands.

  I cross my arms over my chest. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I lean forward. “Too bad I’m not gonna tell you.”

  He stares at me for a few long seconds. His pissed-off look transforms into a sadistic smile and excitement in his black eyes. “So it’s just us.”

  I go to tell him no, but instead, I say nothing. He takes a step toward me, but I pull my shoulders back and refuse to back away. “You know”—he lifts his right finger and shakes it at me—“I always knew you could act.” He laughs at his own words. “The other night at the bar.” He nods in approval. “It was very believable.” He takes another step toward me. “So much that I went home and imagined what it would be like to fuck you.” His eyes drop to my stomach, and I cringe.

  “Well, that’ll never happen.”

  He takes another step closer, but I still stand my ground. “I won’t lie; I’ve always been jealous of the men that you so easily threw yourself at like the cheap whore you are.” My eyes narrow on him. He looks me up and down, and his tongue licks his lips. I feel bile rise in my throat. “I’ve heard you’ll do anything.” I made a mistake of sleeping with a friend of Conner’s back in Seattle. That fucker told him everything. “But now, now that we’re alone …”

  “It’ll never happen, Conner,” I state.

  “Don’t you wanna know what I always dreamed of doing to you?” he asks still smiling.

  “No!” I say matter-of-fact and walk past him. I’ve given him enough of my time. Ryder is in my room and waiting for me.

  He grabs my upper arm as I pass him and yanks me to a stop. “Conn …”

  “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to choke you.” His face is so close to mine that I can smell the stench of tequila. “To wrap my hand around your throat and watch you beg for air,” he growls as his nails dig into my skin.