Stillborn Armadillos (John Lee Quarrels Book 1)

by Nick Russell

  "Not that I know of," John Lee said. "This area's not exactly a hotbed of drug activity, and even if it was, why would they draw attention to themselves by shooting at deputies?"

  "Ya' never know what people goin' to do when they get wired up on that stuff."

  The waitress set a glass of sweet tea in front of him and asked, "Do ya' know what you want?"

  "I'm thinking the steak fingers."

  "Make that two," Maddy said as she slid into the booth across from him.

  The old men nodded at Maddy politely, then turned back around, but not before giving her admiring looks.

  They hadn't talked much since the night after Ray Ray's funeral, and when they had it had been somewhat strained, both of them avoiding the topic. So John Lee had been surprised when she called him and asked if they could meet for lunch.

  "What's happening?"

  "Not much," she said. "I guess Joe Taylor pulled over a drunk driver last night, some clown who lives someplace down around Gainesville. As it turned out, he had like a dozen warrants out for DUI, failure to appear, and grand larceny. While Joe was putting him in the back of the car, the guy got aggressive and tried to bite him. They had a little tussle, and in the process the guy's dentures fell out on the road. Joe said he was tempted to pick them up and bite him with his own teeth."

  They laughed and John Lee said, "I remember back when I was a rookie I arrested somebody for DUI, I can't remember who now, but he started out by telling me that his tax dollars paid my salary. Then he started puking. Puked all over my shoes. Puked so hard his dentures came out. I told him to pick them up and he said he wasn't touching them, I needed to do it because I was a public servant."

  "Oh, gross! Don't tell me you did!"

  "Sure I did. I put on latex gloves, I picked them up from all that mess and I shoved them right back into his mouth!"

  "You could've waited for another time to tell me that besides when we're eating lunch."

  "Hey, you brought it up."

  The three old timers had finished their lunch and each left a quarter on the counter as a tip and shuffled out the door, tipping their ball caps to Maddy as they went.

  "So, I'm kind of surprised you called and wanted to meet."

  "I think we need to talk, John Lee."

  "It's been my experience that whenever a woman tells me that we need to talk, something bad is about to happen."

  "No. No, not at all." She reached across the table to put her hand on his, then took it away as the waitress came back with their orders.

  "Will that be all?"

  "Looks good," John Lee said.

  "I'll check in with ya' in a bit, see if you need refills on your tea."

  When she left, Maddy said, "I just wanted to clear the air between us."

  "Okay."

  "That night... I hope I didn't put you in an uncomfortable situation."

  "Maddy, contrary to what guys have probably told you, nobody ever really died of blue balls."

  She laughed, a sound he had not heard in a while and had missed. "You always see the good side of everything, don't you, John Lee?"

  "I saw a couple good sides of you that night."

  Her face turned slightly pink and she said, "Yeah, I guess you did. Such as it was."

  "Looked damn fine to me."

  "I don't exactly have boobs like Emily. Or Beth Ann."

  "You know what they say, Maddy, any more than a mouthful goes to waste."

  "You'd have to work pretty hard to get more than a mouthful from me."

  "How hard?"

  Maddy laughed again, this time so loud that someone at the far end of the counter turned and looked in their direction.

  "I could ask you the same question. But judging from the tent I saw in your briefs that night, I think I've already got a pretty good idea."

  It was John Lee's turn to blush, which she seemed to take delight in as she smirked at him and sipped her tea.

  "Anyway, that thing I said about coming by and seeing Beth Ann's car there? Let's not let that make things weird between us, okay?"

  "As opposed to sleeping together and not doing anything?"

  "Yeah, as opposed to that, I guess." She reached across the table and took his hand again and squeezed gently. "I was really vulnerable that night, and I had had a few beers, which I don't do very often. I mean, I wasn't out of it or wasted or anything like that. But I appreciate the fact that you didn't want more. And the fact that you were more concerned about our friendship than you were about just getting your dick wet."

  "Oh, I wanted, Maddy. I'm not gonna lie to you about that."

  The waitress was coming back with a pitcher to refill their tea and he pulled his hand away again. With their glasses topped off and with assurances that they didn't need anything else, she went down the counter, making sure everybody else was okay.

  "So we're okay?"

  "Yeah, we're okay."

  "Good. I've been worried about that."

  "Me, too."

  They finished their lunches, paid their bill, and left the waitress a good tip. Outside, before she got into her patrol car, Maddy said, "I have to ask.... when I said I drove by your house that night, planning to knock on the door? What would have happened?"

  He smiled at her and said, "Let's just say that if you ever do decide to come knocking, I won't leave you standing out there on the deck very long."

  "So now I guess I've just got to find a night when you're not otherwise engaged, huh?"

  "Oh, don't let that stop you. I've heard that three is a very interesting number."

  "Trust me, John Lee. It's been so long that if I ever do work up the courage, you're going to have more than you can handle without needing anybody else there."

  She kissed the air between them, got in her car and drove away, leaving him standing there in the parking lot.

  Chapter 35

  Charlotte Thompson ignored him the same way when he went back the next afternoon, but at least Troy Somerton did not keep him waiting as long. John Lee was only two paragraphs into a story about solar panels in one of the builders' magazines when Troy opened the door to his office and said, "Come on in, John Lee."

  As soon as they were seated, Troy said, "I'm sorry, but I haven't come up with much of anything to help you. Apparently there was a tornado came through here back in '64 or '65, somethin' like that. I guess it destroyed several buildings around town, includin' a warehouse where we had all of the company records stored."

  John Lee remembered hearing about the big tornado of 1965 when he was growing up. As he recalled, it had killed two or three people as it tore a mile-long swath through Somerton County, taking out everything in its path.

  "Well that sucks."

  "I did mention it to my Daddy. He said the turpentine camps were gone by the time he was born, but he remembered his father and his granddaddy talkin' about them."

  "Really? What did he have to say about them?"

  "Oh, no details, just that they were there. I guess it was quite a business at one time. The company had three or four camps spread out around the county."

  "Six."

  "Six? Six what ?"

  "Somerton Lumber operated six turpentine camps at one time."

  "Then you know more about it than Daddy can remember. Like I said, he just recalls hearing about them, but no details."

  "What about your grandfather, Troy? He's old enough that he'd probably remember."

  Troy shook his head. "Oh, I'm sure he'd have all kinds of stuff to tell you about them. Now, whether it was true or not, that'd be the hard part to figure out. Like I said yesterday, he's slowed down a lot, and you don't really know when you're talkin' to him how much is real and how much is garbled. Somebody on the TV was talkin' 'bout the Vietnam War on television the other night and Grandpa started tellin' us about the Tet Offensive or some such, and how they fought for days without end."

  "I didn't know he was in Vietnam."

  "That's just the point, John Lee. He wa
sn't. He was born in 1927, he'd have been too old for that. Now, he was in World War II, right at the tail end. But apparently he saw some TV show or movie about that Tet thing and he decided he'd been there. The week before, he was tellin' us all about how he come drivin' along some country road with a lady friend and came on the scene right after Bonnie and Clyde got killed. I think he'd have been about seven years old when that happened."

  "So he likes telling tall tales."

  "No, sir," Troy said, shaking his head. "Nope, in Grandpa's mind, it really happened just that way. Like I said, he gets things all mixed up in his head. Half the time he calls me by my Daddy's name and I have to keep tellin' him who I am. I know your grandma and grandpa are younger than him, but do they ever do that? Get things confused like that and call somebody by someone else's name?"

  John Lee didn't want to think about when Mama Nell might be calling Paw Paw Elvis, and he quickly pushed the mental image that came into his mind away. "No, they're both pretty sharp. Still crazy in their own way, but sharp."

  "That's a good thing. Enjoy them while you can. Hey, John Lee, do you remember how when we was kids your Mama Nell dressed you up like Elvis for Halloween every year? How after the second or third year you were so sick of it that as soon as you was away from the house you took that darn costume off and hid it in the bushes and put on some raggedy clothes and rubbed dirt on your face and pretended you were a hobo instead?"

  John Lee chuckled at the memory. "Yeah, I do. And I remember that you hid that Elvis costume and I was afraid I was gonna get a butt whoopin' when Mama Nell found out the truth."

  "I had you goin' there for a while, didn't I?"

  "Oh yeah. I don't think I ever managed to get even with you for that one, Troy. Just where are those roads that you drive that Corvette of yours so fast on?"

  They both laughed, and Troy said, "I ain't tellin'. They say payback's a bitch."

  "Yes, it is. And this payback's got a lot of years of interest built up."

  "Damn, John Lee, we need to get together more often, like I said yesterday. We used to have such good times together. Me and you, and Patrick, and Dan. Real good times!"

  At the mention of Dan's name they both grew somber for a moment.

  "I sure do miss him."

  "I do, too Troy."

  "Do you ever hear from Patrick anymore?"

  "It's been years. He came back to town for the funeral when his Mama died and I saw him there. Said he was living up in Tennessee someplace, working for the post office."

  The intercom on Troy's desk buzzed and he pushed the button,

  "Yes?"

  "Sir, Mr. Swanson from SWB Insulation Concepts is on the telephone. He says he's got those quotes you asked for."

  "Thanks, Charlotte, tell him I'll be with him in just a minute."

  A button on the telephone on his desk began to blink. "I'm sorry, John Lee, I've really got to take this."

  "I understand," John Lee said, standing up.

  Troy extended his hand across the desk and they shook.

  "If I come up with anything else about those turpentine camps or anything at all that can help you with findin' out who those skeletons belong to, I'll be in touch."

  "I appreciate that," John Lee said, going to the door.

  Just as he opened it, Troy said, "Don't forget, we need to get together. We'll go fishin' or something, okay?"

  "Okay," John Lee replied, but Troy was already on the phone, taking care of business. Charlotte never looked up as he passed her desk.

  ***

  It was 10 o'clock at night and John Lee was watching a rerun of an old sitcom with Bob Newhart running a Vermont country inn on one of the cable channels when his phone rang.

  "John Lee, we've got shots fired downtown, officer involved shooting."

  "I'm on my way," he said grabbing his gun belt from the hook in the bedroom. "Anybody hurt?"

  "Obie called it in. All he said is someone is shooting at him. He's parked at the grade school. He thinks it's the sniper again."

  John Lee paused long enough to work the dial on the gun safe in his spare bedroom. If the sniper was still there, he wanted to have more than his pistol or the shotgun from his patrol car, both of which had limited range, to go up against the man's scoped rifle. He opened the heavy steel door, pulled out his Colt AR-15 and a bandolier with six loaded twenty round magazines. Running out to the Charger, he threw the bandolier on the passenger seat, set the rifle on the floor on the passenger side, flipped his lights and siren on, and raced toward the school.

  The radio was alive with chatter as other deputies responded and said they were on the way.

  "Hurry up, they're shootin' at me again," Obie said, the terror in his voice evident. "I think they've got a machine gun!" Everybody could hear the rapid gunshots going off in the background.

  "John Lee, where you at?"

  "Three blocks away."

  "Come in from the back," Flag ordered. "We'll see if we can catch this bastard between us."

  "10-4."

  "Listen to me everybody," Flag said, "Don't take any chances. If you see the son of a bitch, shoot him!"

  John Lee wondered how many citizens with police scanners were hearing Somerton County's Chief Deputy ordering them to shoot the suspect on sight. Then again, given how upset everyone was over Ray Ray's death, he didn't think there would be any complaints if that's exactly what happened.

  A block from the school he turned his lights and siren off, and as he got close to the rear parking lot he turned his headlights off as well. Getting out, he pulled the charging handle on the AR-15 to chamber a round. Every sense on high alert, he scanned the parking lot, looking for any sign of danger hiding in the long shadows.

  There was nothing, but then he heard a scuffling noise and he crouched down behind the hood of the Charger, aiming the rifle toward the sound. The sound grew louder and a shape emerged from the darkness, running fast.

  "Freeze! Make one move and I'll shoot!"

  The suspect skidded to a stop, and a second later another fast moving form crashed into him and both of them went down.

  Holding it away from his body so as not to make himself a target, John Lee pointed his tactical flashlight and the rifle at them and said, "Don't you move! I mean it, don't even fart or you're dead."

  "Don't shoot! Please don't shoot!"

  John Lee looked over the rifle's sights at them, his finger still on the trigger. Then he saw the faces in the harsh light of his flashlight and said, "Son of a bitch!"

  One of the suspects grinned and said, "Hi, John Lee."

  Chapter 36

  "Are you two completely out of your friggin' minds? Do you know how close you came to gettin' your stupid asses blown away?"

  John Lee was pretty sure the two teenage boys were more afraid of the Chief Deputy's rage than they had been of him and his rifle.

  "What in the hell were you idiots thinkin' anyway, pullin' a fool stunt like that?"

  "It seemed like a good idea at the time," Herbie Matthews said.

  "A good idea? Really? Do you think this is funny?"

  "No, sir," said Stephen Atterbury, staring at the floor as he shook his head.

  "With all that's going on in this town, I'm surprised you're both not dead right now. Do you know what an AR-15 will do to you?"

  "Yeah, in videogames."

  "Videogames? Son, life isn't a fuckin' videogame! In real life, bullets tear people to pieces and they die. I'll tell both you little peckerheads somethin' right now. You're damn lucky it was John Lee back there behind that school instead of me or somebody else. 'Cause with a call for shots fired at a deputy after what happened to Ray Ray Watkins, most of us would have blown your asses away, com'in at them out of the dark like that, before you ever got close enough to see who it was!"

  "We're sorry," Stephen said. "We just thought we was goin' to give Obie a scare. We didn't expect all this to happen."

  "What the hell did you expect to happen?"

&n
bsp; The boy shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Just that he'd get all excited, maybe piss his pants or something like that."

  There was a knock on the door and the dispatcher poked his head in and said, "Their parents are in the lobby."

  "You go talk to them, John Lee. I'm pretty sure if I do, I'll ask them if they'd mind if I just beat both these mutts' heads in."

  The boys looked at John Lee in a panic, and he wasn't sure if it was because they were afraid of what their parents might do when they saw them, or what Flag would do to them without any witnesses present.

  Dave and Karen Atterbury had been in John Lee's class in high school and were worried that she'd have enough credits to graduate. Not because Karen, a student who was more interested in having fun with her friends than studying, wanted to avoid having to go to summer school, but because she was already three months pregnant and beginning to show. Their son Stephen, born that September, was the first official child born to anyone from their class, though a couple of girls had gone away to "visit relatives" out of state between their junior and senior years.

  Herbie's parents, Gene and Lorraine Matthews, were a few years older. All four of them were concerned as to why they had been called to the sheriff's department late at night, so soon after hearing all of the sirens as police cars tore through town.

  "What's happening, John Lee? Are our boys all right? Nobody will tell us anything and everyone looks so grim."

  "Yeah, they're fine, Karen. But it was close, I'll tell you that."

  John Lee had been shaken by how close he had come to pulling the trigger when Herbie had come rushing at him out of the darkness. He was thankful that he had not obeyed Fig's order to shoot on sight.

  "What the hell happened?"

  "Well, it seems like the boys thought it would be funny to crawl up on the roof of the grade school and light a bunch of firecrackers and throw them on top of Obie Long's patrol car. He thought somebody was shooting at him and he called it in and every cop in the county responded. I came into the back parking lot just as the boys came running out of the darkness and almost shot them."