by Rebel Carter
Tiffany’s eyebrows quirked, and she grinned. “Oh, I like it! Upping the ante and in only the best way.”
“You know it,” I told her, eating a spoonful of steaming egg with a moan of pleasure. “God, I’m starving. I could probably eat three of these,” I said, gesturing at the steaming metal pot the egg dish was served in.
“That's because you don’t eat anything, ever.”
“I eat,” I told her, shaking my head.
“Yeah, okay, cool story.”
I rolled my eyes at her and picked up the menu in front of me. The server was walking our way and I didn’t intend to waste a damn minute getting my fill of delicious Korean food and wine. We ordered and in no time had an assortment of banchan, a bottle of chilled rice wine sitting in front of us with pork belly sizzling on the grill at our table.
Life was good. This was exactly what I’d needed after the day I’d had. Today had felt...draining. The week had been lonelier than usual, which put me on edge. I was able to mostly keep myself occupied, my mind flitting from this project or that, the app on my phone pinging away with available shifts in the city. It was enough to distract me, but it had felt empty. Not even the book I had been reading did much to curb where my mind seemed determined to go, which was in the direction of one person.
Well, one man to be fucking exact.
Lawson Sokolov.
I licked my lips and raised the ceramic cup my makgeolli was in and took a hasty sip. I didn’t need to be thinking of that man. Not now, not when I had decided that I was going to be paying the Cairn a visit. What I needed to do was focus on tonight and on enjoying Tiffany’s company.
“I love all these side dishes,” Tiffany sighed, stuffing her mouth with tofu and grinning at me. “Hey, I’m really happy you came to dinner with me. I’ve been wanting to hang out. You know how hard it is to make friends as an adult.”
I laughed. “It’s fucking terrible. So awkward.”
“Beyond awkward! How do you make it not weird that you like another adult and want to spend time with them? It was so much easier back in school, you know?”
“I get it.” I nodded along as if I understood, even if I didn’t. Making friends had never come naturally to me. I was always a beat out of step with everyone else. On the outskirts of everything even when I was in the thick of it. I’d never been able to make the transition to putting down roots and making genuine connections when I was sure I was going to be moving on whenever a new wind blew my mother a different direction. The awkwardness of school hadn’t lessened when I’d left home, it had only seemed to amplify, with me questioning each and every one of my decisions.
Making friends hadn’t ever been easy. It was painful for me, even when I wanted it to happen. I smiled at Tiffany pouring her a drink. Needless to say, I really fucking wanted it to happen with Tiffany. She was good people. I needed more good in my life.
“Okay, so what do we have to do to make you sign on to be full time at the shop?”
I blinked in surprise at her. “A Different Brew?” I asked.
“No, the donut shop. Of course, A Different Brew. I want you working with me regularly, woman. How do I make that happen?”
“Are you offering me a job?”
Tiffany raised her cup and took a deep drink, rolling her eyes at me as she did. “Duh,” she said when she slammed the cup down and gestured at the makgeolli bottle. “Another, please.”
I nodded at her and poured more in her cup. “Listen, I don’t know…you might only like me in small doses, you ever thought of that?” I asked, while I flipped the meat on the grill.
“Oh, please, I know I love you already. I want to see your amazing face all the time, and besides you know how to man a Korean barbeque grill, which makes you a top quality woman in my book.”
I laughed and set the tongs down. “Doesn’t take a lot then.”
“Honey, stop that.” There was a tone in her voice that made me look at her. When I met her eyes I saw that Tiffany was staring intently at me. Her cup raised halfway to her lips, she gestured with it towards me. “You always do that.”
“Do what?”
“You make it sound like being your friend is a chore, and it’s not. You’re the best.”
“You hardly know me,” I pointed out.
“I know enough. Also, Gus is on board because we are so tired of being understaffed and you know you want to get off that stinking app.” She waved a hand at me and I leaned back in my seat, sipping my drink.
“I like BaristApp.”
She scoffed and took another sip of her drink. “What? No one likes that app.”
I tapped a finger against my chest. “That’s not true, Tiff. I like the app, and I’m sitting right here to prove it.”
She put down her cup and picked up her bowl of rice, spooning kimchi and fish cake onto it. “Okay, but maybe you just like it because you have a billionaire boyfriend,” she said, and then held up a chopstick, “oh, wait, not boyfriend but fiancé, my bad.”
My cheeks heated at the mention of my make believe fiancé. “I don’t know what Lawson has to do with it.”
“He has everything to do with it. You don’t need to work with a man like that calling you his girl.” She winked at me when I tried to protest. “No shame in the game, Honey. I’m glad you got someone like that pulling for you. New York isn’t a kind place. You need someone with a little power in your corner, you know?”
I closed my mouth, eyes dropping back to the sizzling grill in front of me. “Yeah, I know,” I said, because what she was saying was 100% gospel. The city would chew you up and spit you out if you didn’t have some steel to you, but New York was also a 24/7 grind that wore a girl down. It helped to have support, especially if that support was Lawson Sokolov. I could see why Tiffany thought I was set, and sitting here looking at her with her big smile and earnest eyes, I wished not for the first time that what she was saying was the truth.
God how I wished Lawson Sokolov was well and truly mine. Of course, he wasn’t and never would be, but that didn’t mean I could tell Tiffany that. Not when she thought it was the truth, and not when we were on our way to becoming friends. How quick would that end tonight? I could just see her look of surprise and then bewilderment. She’d leave. I knew it. If I could take back every lie about the man…I shook my head and quickly speared a pickled radish. I couldn’t even finish the thought, because it wouldn’t be true.
When a man like Lawson Sokolov claimed you, if even for the moment, you grabbed hold of it with both hands. There was no morning, day or night that I would not do what I had done. There was no world where I didn’t lie about being Lawson’s.
“So like I was saying, when you want to kick the app to the side and settle down...you know our shop is right down the road from your man’s work. You two could come into work together and be cute before he scoots off to his big building.” She grinned at me triumphantly while I pretended to consider her words. If we were a real couple and not just a lie, she would have a great selling point.
I pulled our meat off the grill and began dishing it out to her, cutting it quickly with scissors before sliding some onto her plate. “I’ll think about it, okay? Can’t spring it on a girl on our first friend date and think I’m going to agree. I’m hard to get, Tiff.” My words were light and I knew they would come across as a joke. It would be enough for me to change the topic of conversation and enjoy the rest of the night with Tiffany.
“Okay, all right,” she said, throwing up her hands and pouring sesame oil into a dish beside her meat. “But don’t think this will be the last time I bring this up. I want you working with me, Honey.”
I hummed and took a bite of my food. It was good food and I savored it while I poured myself and Tiffany another drink. I downed my wine quickly and refilled my glass, which earned me an excited clap from Tiffany.
“Wait for me! Wait for me,” she laughed, quickly throwing back her wine and pouring us another round. “If we are getting a little dru
nk, I’m game.”
“Then we are getting a little drunk.”
“Oh, what a perfect night.” Tiffany was smiling at me. The wine had begun to go to my head which was my signal to not only drink some water from the carafe beside us, but to also down more of my food. It was going to be a long night, even if it was going to be a good one.
Chapter Seven
LAW
Korean food on a rainy night was heaven. On its own the cuisine was perfect, the right mix of spicy and savory. There was sweet and pickled, the crunch and snap of vegetables both fresh and preserved, the meat flavorful and tender, fatty in the right ways.
It was one of my simple pleasures and it was one that I indulged in when I burned the candle at both ends. The long day, the damn deal that went sideways and had cost me a cool 40 million, and the fucking weather had me in a shit mood. I needed a damn hot meal, a dry place to relax, and a beer.
Korean food it was, which meant I was crossing the bridge and going into Queens for it. I nodded my thanks at the hostess who handed me a menu and took my coat with a smile. I was in a private room, one that was meant for parties. The unused places at the long table could be seen as wasteful by some, but I didn’t think there was anyone that would be excited to dine with me after the day I’d had.
The empty room suited my mood for space. For quiet.
A server came and quickly took my order of soju, a beer, and galbi. I added on an order of stew as well, my rumbling stomach reminding me that I hadn’t had much that day by way of food. I couldn’t remember consuming anything beyond the coffee I’d drank that morning. I frowned, closing my eyes, and leaned back in my chair, head falling back in annoyance.
Coffee.
Coffee.
Honey.
“Fuck,” I grunted, eyes opening as I sat up. It wasn’t just the money or the long as fuck day. The weather had little to do with why I was in a piss poor mood. It was Honey. I’d spent nearly all day trying to keep the woman from taking over my thoughts, and by how I felt, ticked off and sulking in a Korean restaurant, I knew I’d done a shit job at it. The more I tried to push her to the back of my mind the more she rose to the forefront. Her eyes, those pouty lips, fucking gorgeous tits that I knew were waiting for me beneath her shirt. She’d be soft, her skin would be like silk under my hands, and I could practically hear the gasp from her when I touched her. Fingertips lightly tracing the underside of her breasts before I caught her dusky nipples between my fingers, rolling the plump flesh between them until-
The door to the room slid open and I forced myself not to jerk in surprise. The server gave me a quick smile and placed my drinks, side dishes, meat and a pot of bubbling stew in front of me. “Thank you.” I meant to be succinct but even I could hear the gruffness to my words. They were barely more than a grunt.
“No worries.” She flashed me another smile, but this one was tentative and she cleared her throat, looking like she might keep speaking, which was the last thing I wanted or needed. I nodded at her and reached for the beer she’d placed in front of me. I needed at least half a beer in me before I was going to entertain small talk. I popped the top off while the server flipped on the grill in front of me. The flames sprang to life and the familiar sound of it relaxed me. I took half a swig of my beer and was already reaching for the tongs beside the platter of meat when the server spoke again.
“Will there be anything else?” The server, a pretty dark haired woman, asked me with another quick smile. But this one didn’t have the same veneer associated with friendly customer service. She was searching for something. Her eyes scanned my face and she came forward, the tray against her thighs, fingers clutching it so tightly I could see her knuckles were turning white. She was nervous, but forced herself to come closer.
I paused and reassessed her. She wanted something from me. Even if I wasn’t going to give it to her I wanted to know what it was. From the look of her it wasn’t the small talk that I’d dreaded. She was blushing, the blood rising to her cheeks and painting a pretty pink flush across her pale cheeks. She had plump lips she’d painted blood red and she bit her bottom lip, A flash of teeth and a nervous giggle aimed my way were meant to entice, even if I could tell she was too scared to voice what she wanted from me. A woman like this would wait for me to make the first move. She’d fall in line the second I showed her the smallest bit of interest, which suited me fine. I wasn’t going to so much as breathe in the server’s direction, and I wasn’t putting off the most sociable aura, which would take care of any lingering doubt. On another night I might indulge her, might encourage the little display of cleavage she was currently treating me to with her artfully crossed arms that boosted her tits into a generous display of skin. She was beautiful but she wasn’t the woman my body wanted, not the one that made my dick twitch and my palms itch.
No, that belonged to someone else. That belonged to the beautiful woman running through my damn brain. A woman that I’d spent all of five minutes around, a woman that I’d claimed as mine and then walked away from.
My gut twisted and I frowned. “No, nothing,” I told her, looking away. I poured myself a glass of beer and reached for the bottle of soju. “Thank you.”
“If you change your mind…” she said, voice going soft in a way that I knew. I’d heard it a hundred times before. It was the voice subs used when they wanted to pull my eye, when they were letting me know that they saw something they liked in me, and that if I was game so were they.
I raised my eyes to hers, and gave her a slight shake of my head, but even then I said, “I’ll find you.”
She beamed at me, my dismissal too subtle. “See that you do, handsome. I’m Melissa.” She winked at me and I almost chuckled at her little display of flirtation, but she was gone and dashing out the door with a giggle.
I downed half of the beer before I poured the other half of it into my glass. I added an equal amount of soju to my glass and then took a healthy drink of that before I turned my attention to the grill. If my hands were busy then I could go on autopilot. The calm that I was looking for used to come easier before I went legitimate. Mostly because when I was working on a mark, when I was hunting someone down or enforcing the boundaries, it was natural. I never thought so much as reacted, it was one of the reasons I was so good at what I did.
It came naturally. I didn’t have to think to be a killer.
I just was.
That calm and Zen gifted by giving over my body to the task at hand was good for the stress. But now it was all meetings, conference calls, endless email chains. And deals gone wrong, fucked over by rats like Martin D’Amato. I grit my teeth and added meat to the grill, the sizzle of it a good chaser to remembering what D’Amato’s smarmy smile looked like at the end of the video conference.
He’d swooped on a deal I’d had locked down, raised the price by 25% even though it wasn’t worth that. He was going to be losing money by going through with it but I knew full well, it wasn’t about profit with that fucker. It was about screwing me over and letting me know he’d done it on purpose. D’Amato was sending a message with the shitty deal, and unlucky for him he now had my full attention.
“Gonna get that little shit,” I said to no one, flipping the meat and taking another swig of my drink. I was going to need at least two more of these before the night was over. I glanced over at the button at the side of the table that would bring my server, Melissa, running back and sucked on my teeth. I’d wait some before I resorted to that. I wanted to enjoy a little peace and quiet before I called her back in. After today, I’d earned that much.
Chapter Eight
HONEY
“This is so fun!” Tiffany was red faced and giggling. “Everything here is so yummy. You know that right?” She asked our server who laughed and nodded at her. “Isn’t it amazing?” She asked me.
“It is, especially when we’re drunk,” I replied, throwing back the last bit of soju in my glass.
Tiffany scoffed. “We are not drunk. We bo
th agreed to get a little tipsy, and that’s what we’ve done.”
“Sure, sure,” I laughed. “But we’re calling a rideshare after this.” While Tiffany might be in denial about our current state I knew better, the warmth in my belly had spread to my limbs, the rain outside was forgotten in favor of the easy laughter and the slight sway I felt when I stood up. I was drunk, all right. We both were and even if she didn’t believe me, I’d make sure she got home safe and sound.
Tiffany rolled her eyes but then a second later she brightened up. “Okay, fine, then I’m going for it,” she said, snapping the seal on the bottle of soju with a turn of her hands. “But that means we need more beer, because I can’t just do shots of this stuff.”
I pushed away from the table and stood up with a wave of my hand. “I’ll go ask for more.”
“Awesome! You’re the best, Honey!” She called after me and then added, “Oooh! Can you get more kimchi too?”
I laughed as I started to wend my way backwards through the crowd and held up a hand with a thumbs up. “I’m on it!” I walked out of the back dining area we were sitting in and turned down the hallway towards the front of the restaurant. The kitchen was between the two seating areas and I was pretty sure I’d have a better chance of snagging our server’s attention that way to get the beer and kimchi Tiffany wanted. Besides, the bathrooms were this way which my body suddenly let me know I needed badly.
I was making a beeline for the bathroom with a little more sway in my step than normal, when I ran into our server, a bubbly woman with dark hair. I think she’d said her name was Melissa, so I went with that when I called out to her.
“Hi, Melissa?” I tried.
She turned immediately to face me. Bingo. “Can I get you anything?”
“Yes, I was worried I got your name wrong but I’m glad I was right! And sorry for coming to find you but it seemed a little easier that way since stuff was really busy tonight, you know?” She nodded, still waiting for me to go on. I gave her an apologetic smile. I was rambling, the alcohol obviously loosening me up. I licked my lips and cleared my throat. “We were hoping for two more beers and more kimchi, when you had a chance.”
