Marx Girl

by T L Swan

  I frown as a thought runs through my mind. “Did Brock tell you I had a boyfriend?”

  Ben stays silent.

  My face falls. “Are you kidding me? Brock called you?”

  “Bridget…”

  “Don’t fucking Bridget me!” I yell. Passing strangers look over at us, and Ben frowns.

  “Keep your voice down,” he growls.

  “I will not keep my voice down!” I yell. “So, my brother called you and said you better get back here because Bridget has finally met someone worth keeping, is that it?”

  His jaw ticks, and I know that’s exactly what happened.

  What a joke.

  I step back from him because ‘furious’ doesn’t even cover it. “Go to Hell, Ben. I will never come back to you.”

  He narrows his eyes. “Yes… you will.”

  I shake my head. “You don’t care about me. All you care about is yourself.”

  “Bridget.” He grabs my arm.

  “Fuck off,” I curse as I pull away from his grip. “Stay the hell away from me!” I turn and storm off as the crowd parts to look at the psycho woman who’s screaming the place down.

  I make my way outside and jump into the back of a cab. “Take me home, please,” I snap.

  Fifteen hours later.

  “You ready to go, babe?” Eric asks as he comes into my bedroom. His eyes light up when he sees me dressed up. “You look gorgeous.” He grins.

  I glance down at my fitted, coffee-coloured silk dress that has delicate spaghetti straps, and push out a smile.

  I’ve hardly slept all night and I feel like shit. I don’t even want to go to the wedding today.

  Damn Ben is sitting heavily on my mind, and it’s annoying me no end.

  Eric is on nightshift duty; he worked last night and then slept at his house this morning. I’ve had lots of time alone to think.

  Not that I want to.

  Eric’s working again tonight and leaving the wedding at 10:00 p.m. Because he has recently been promoted, he couldn’t really ask for time off.

  I’m dreading him leaving early.

  I’m dreading being alone with Ben… dreading the magnetic pull towards the bastard.

  I don’t know who the hell he thinks he is turning up here, but I’m not falling for his shit.

  I’m brought back to the moment when Eric gently kisses me on the cheek. I smile softly. He’s a good man, and I feel guilty about the fact that Ben is even in the same country.

  My conscience tells me that that’s not a good sign.

  Why do I feel so guilty?

  I shouldn’t, but I do. Is that because my heart is traitorous?

  Does it know something I don’t?

  Eric is tall, dark, and handsome. He’s the perfect male specimen. He’s also a policeman and I met him around twelve months ago through Jesten. They have been good friends since meeting at the prison years ago. Where Ben is broody and non-verbose, Eric is the exact opposite. He’s an open book and he tells me everything, from what he ate for breakfast, to whom he locked up at work. I know his gym program, his phone calls, his bank balance, and everything in between. He is the most honest person I’ve ever met.

  He told me he loved me last week. It killed me that I couldn’t say it back.

  Why couldn’t I say it back?

  We’ve been together for three months and I care for him, I do. I know I do.

  I just need some time.

  And then I see Ben and my whole world crashes down around me, and I have to stop myself from blurting out that I love him, or begging him to stay.

  But Ben’s an asshole who doesn’t care for me at all.

  What the hell is wrong with me?

  “You know… I don’t feel so well. Let’s give today a miss,” I plead.

  “Why don’t you want to go?” He frowns. “Is something wrong? That’s about the tenth excuse you’ve tried to get out of this.”

  I shrug. “I do want to go.” I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his shoulder. “But I also just want to stay in my bubble with you.”

  Oh, God, I want to stay in Eric’s safe arms and not be tempted by the devil.

  Eric smiles cheekily and kisses me softly. “Do you love me yet?”

  I smile up at him. “You know how I feel about you.”

  He smirks. “But you can’t say it.”

  I shrug. “We just started dating, Eric.”

  He kisses me again. “I know, but I knew I loved you on our third date.”

  I smile softly. “Well, you’re stupid to give your heart away so easily. You should guard it more carefully.”

  “It wasn’t stupid. I gave it to you.”

  My eyes search his and tears threaten to fall. He deserves so much better than a girlfriend who has been thinking about another man all night.

  He frowns. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He brushes my hair back from my forehead as he studies my face.

  I shrug. “Nothing.” I shake my head as I try to think of an excuse. “I just have really, really bad PMS” I whisper over the lump of guilt in my throat.

  He laughs, and spins me ‘round before he pushes me back onto the bed. “I’d better get in quick then before the painters come to town.”

  He lies down on top of me and I look up at him. “Too late, the painters are already in town,” I reply flatly.

  He bites my neck, distracted. “Damn it.”

  I smile, and slap him on the chest as I stand. “Few days, I’m sure you can wait.” I go over to the mirror and reapply my lip-gloss, hoping he bought that lame excuse.

  He stands and rearranges the erection in his suit pants. “I think you mean beauty before blue balls. Get it right.” He wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses my neck. As if I am having an out of body experience, I watch the two of us in the mirror.

  I close my eyes to block the vision of us out. I feel Eric’s lips on my neck, but it’s Ben’s face that I see. What’s going on here?

  Dear God, help me.

  The walk up to the church is painful for two reasons. One: these fucking shoes that Satan designed are decapitating my toes. Two: the feel of my impending heart attack when Ben meets Eric.

  I have no idea what he’s going to do, but knowing Ben and his inability to play nice I have every right to feel nervous.

  I remember back to when Ben and I were sneaking around when we were seeing each other. Carson made a move on me one night when we were out at a party, and Ben grabbed him by the throat so hard that Carson nearly passed out.

  Calling him the jealous type is an understatement. My nerves boil under the surface.

  The thing is, Eric is just as bad.

  They are both strong, dominant personalities, and who knows what’s going to happen…

  Maybe Ben won’t even come today. I did give it to him last night, so hopefully he got the message.

  As we turn the corner I see Joshua, Cameron, and Ben standing out the front of the church, hands in their pockets and deep in conversation. Joshua and Cameron are groomsmen, each wearing black dinner suits, while Ben is dressed in a charcoal suit.

  My heart somersaults in my chest at the sight of him… I mean them.

  Cut it out! I feel sick.

  Oh, damn it, I should have stuck my damn fingers down my throat to make myself throw up. It would have been a lot easier than dealing with this shit.

  Eric squeezes my hand and I squeeze it back. “There’s Joshua and Cameron.” I smile awkwardly.

  Eric looks up at the boys. “Where’s your sister?”

  I look around for Natasha. Where is she? “I can’t see her.”

  Shit, we have to walk right past them. Joshua is the first to spot us, and he smiles broadly then winks at Ben. Bastard.

  “Hey, Didge.” He smiles as he kisses me on the cheek.

  “Hello.” I smile. “This is Eric, and this is my brother in-law, Joshua.”

  Joshua smiles. “Hello.” He nods politely as he shakes Eric’s hand.

&nbs
p; “And this is Cameron.” I hold my breath. I swear I may pass out any moment.

  “Hello.” Cameron smiles broadly and shakes his hand. I know for sure Cameron will be nice to Eric, because he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

  “Hi, nice to meet you.” Eric smiles in return.

  “And… this is Ben,” I push out.

  Ben glares at Eric and holds out his hand. A frown crosses Eric’s face, but he forces himself to smile and shakes Bens hand. “Hey,” he says.

  Ben nods in acknowledgement without saying a word.

  Oh, dear Lord. There’s no need to act sick now, because I feel sick for real.

  I need a distraction. “W-where’s Tash?” I sputter as I look around, pretending not to notice Ben’s arrogance.

  Joshua smiles cheekily, standing there with his hands in his pockets. The bastard is loving this. “She’s around,” he replies calmly.

  She’s around? He knows where she is every minute of every damn day. Don’t give me she’s around.

  “Where, exactly?” I snap. Don’t mess with me today, Joshua, or I will end you.

  I grab Eric’s hand. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s go. See you later, boys.” I drag Eric through the crowd.

  “Who’s that fucking dickhead?” Eric whispers

  My face falls. “Who?”

  “Ben.”

  The blood drains from my face. “Oh.” I look around for Natasha. “Just a dickhead.”

  “No shit.”

  This is bad. This is really bad.

  Tash and Mum come into view at the entrance of the church, and I find myself smiling broadly. I can’t wait for Tash to meet Eric.

  Her face lights up with excitement, and she walks over to us to kiss me on the cheek.

  “You look gorgeous.” She beams as she looks me up and down.

  “This is Eric.” I smile proudly in return.

  Tash smiles and leans forward to kisses him on the cheek. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Eric.”

  He chuckles and looks between us. “And you. The resemblance is uncanny.”

  Tash and I smile at each other because we get told that a lot. Tash is naturally darker than me, but we do look alike.

  Joshua and Cameron walk up behind Tash, and Joshua kisses Tash’s cheek. “See you soon, Presh.”

  “Knock ‘em dead, boys.” She smiles.

  They then walk through and take their place at the end of the aisle next to Scott and the groom, Wilson. Their brothers.

  Eric sees Mum through the crowd and walks over to speak to her. He kisses her on the cheek, and they laugh as he gives her a compliment.

  Tash grabs my hand. “Oh, my God, he’s gorgeous, Didge,” she whispers.

  “I know.” I smile as I watch him with Mum.

  I feel two arms snake around my hips from behind and I flinch, startled.

  “Hey.” Adrian frowns. “Why are you so jumpy?”

  I shake my head, embarrassed. “I thought you were Ben.”

  He and Tash frown. “What happened last night?” Tash whispers. “I’ve been dying to ring you all day, but I haven’t had a moment to myself.”

  “Well, I did call you, but you wouldn’t say anything.” Adrian frowns.

  “I was with Eric, for Christ’s sake,” I snap.

  Adrian rolls his eyes. “Go on…” He sighs.

  I shrug as my eyes stay firmly fixed on Eric. “Ben says he’s come back for me, and that he wants a second chance.”

  “He what?” Adrian snaps. “Oh, he can just go to Hell on a broomstick.” He then whispers, “He’s a bit fucking late, isn’t he?”

  I nod. “Damn straight.”

  Adrian and I squeeze hands.

  Tash’s face falls. “But… it’s Ben.” She smiles hopefully. “We love Ben.”

  I roll my eyes. “Ben’s a douche,” I whisper angrily. “Don’t you dare defend him to me.”

  Tash frowns as she glances over at Eric and looks him up and down. “So, I see Mum loves him, then.”

  I nod, annoyed. “Everyone loves Eric.”

  Adrian and Tash’s eyes hold mine and Natasha raises a brow. “Except you?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I frown.

  Adrian purses his lips as he thinks. “I’m picking up something here. Your body language with Eric is off.”

  “Ssh, keep your voice down. You are not picking up something with my body language at all. What, are you Oprah now? I’m done with Ben. End of story,” I whisper angrily.

  “No, you’re not,” Ben snaps from behind me.

  We all turn around guiltily, and I narrow my eyes. “Stop hanging around like a creeper, Ben. You are seriously pissing me off. And get it through your thick skull… I am so done with you.”

  “I can’t stand seeing you with him,” he growls.

  “Then look away.”

  Eric walks over with Mum. “Ready to go in, babe?”

  Ben glares at Eric and the group withers.

  I glance at Tash and Adrian, who are both wide-eyed as they watch Ben glare at Eric. What a predicament. This is the most uncomfortable I have ever been in my life.

  “Yep!” I snap angrily. I grab his arm and Mum’s hand, and march into the church on a mission.

  Screw it. I should ask Eric to marry me right here, right now.

  Anything, to get rid of Ben and his fucking fan club. We walk into the church and I see my brother, Brock, handing out the order of service.

  That fucker. This is all his fault.

  “Take a seat and I’ll go get us a program.” I smile.

  Eric and Mum make their way to our row of seats, and I corner Brock at the side of the church.

  “Get over here,” I whisper.

  “Huh?” He frowns.

  I push him hard in the back and pull the black velvet curtain around to hide us.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I hiss.

  Brock scowls. “What are you on about?”

  “You called Ben and told him I had a boyfriend.”

  He winces. “He told you that?”

  “Yes, he told me that.” I push him again in the chest. “How could you?”

  He shrugs. “I was helping out a mate.”

  “What the fuck, Brock? I’m your sister. Eric is a good man.”

  He cringes. “Yeah, I got nothing.”

  My eyes nearly bulge from their sockets. “Oh, you will have nothing, all right. I’m going to cut off your fucking dick, Brock. Fix this!”

  “Fix what?” He frowns.

  “Get rid of Ben.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t fucking know,” I whisper. “You started this, now you get rid of him.”

  “I’m sort of in the middle of something here.” He widens his eyes and holds up the programs that he’s supposed to be giving out right now.

  “Well, you’re doing a shit job of that, too. Go out there and tell Ben to go home.”

  “No.”

  “Yes!” I snap.

  “You belong with him, Bridget.”

  Steam feels like it’s shooting out of my ears, when the curtain suddenly opens to reveal Natasha. “I don’t know what you two are doing hiding in the curtain, but it looks fucking ridiculous,” she whispers through a fake smile.

  “Natasha, I’m losing my living shit. Help Brock get rid of Ben.”

  “Losing your shit, for sure,” Brock mutters under his breath before taking off back into the church to continue his duties.

  Tash grabs my hand sympathetically. “It’s okay, babe, calm down. We got this. Take a seat and I’ll handle it.”

  I nod. “Are you going to ask Ben to leave?”

  She fakes a smile. “Of course.”

  I nod, and my nerves begin to subside. “Good, good.” I walk back and take a seat next to Eric. He puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses my forehead. I glance over and see Ben glaring at me from the other side of the church.

  He looks like he’s about to come over and knock Eric o
ut.

  Honestly, is this a joke? He breaks my heart, leaves me, and then I don’t hear from him in five years, only for him to turn up here, acting all jealous as if he has every right. Who the hell does he think he is?

  I begin to perspire.

  I glance up to see Joshua and Cameron smiling from ear to ear, loving every minute of this. They have a prime position from where they’re standing, and are watching the whole damn show.

  I casually look over at Ben and he’s glaring at me, not even pretending to play nice. I narrow my eyes back.

  What an asshole. He turns up here unannounced and expects me to be on my back with my legs open, waiting for him.

  Oh joy, the king has returned.

  All hail King Ben.

  Well, I’ve got fucking news for him.

  Eric starts to trace circles on my bare shoulder with his fingertips as he stares into space, and I can literally feel the beads of perspiration running down my back.

  Holy hell, I need a strong drink.

  “Bridget,” the voice snaps. I look up to see Ben towering over me. “Can I have a word, please?”

  I look up at him in horror as the blood drains from my face. “Now?” I frown.

  “Now.”

  Eric frowns, but I fake a smile. “Back in a minute, baby.” I kiss him on the cheek as I stand.

  Mum and Tash watch as I get up and leave the church, with Ben hot on my heels.

  We burst out the front door to see the bride and bridesmaids all getting their photos taken as they sit in the cars. Ben pulls me around the side of the church.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I whisper angrily as I tear my arm from his grip.

  “If he fucking touches you again, I’m knocking him out,” Ben growls.

  “What?” I whisper. “He is my boyfriend. He can touch me when he wants to.”

  “No, he can’t.”

  I shake my head in disbelief. “We’re at a wedding. You have been out of my life for five years. You don’t have the right to come back here, acting like a caveman.”

  He points to me. “I’m warning you. You let him touch you and he’s going down.”

  “What?” I scream before remembering where I am. I look around guiltily.

  He lifts his chin defiantly and it pushes my rage over the edge.

  “Oh, he’ll be going down, Ben, but he’ll be going down on me.” I fake a smile and tap my chin to add to the effect. “Or, maybe I’ll go down on him.”