“Looks can be deceiving,” he says bringing his hand under my chin and pulling my eyes from the flower to his face. “You have your own beauty, hummingbird.”
“What the fuck is going on here?” Crusher asks from the door and I can feel the anger vibrating off of him. He’s staring Beast down and I bite my lip. You can feel the testosterone fill the room.
Beast turns around to face Crusher. I get there is probably hostility between the clubs, because of what happened and with Nicole right now, but I can’t handle any more fighting…not now. I’m on a razor’s edge as it is.
“How’s Nicole?” I ask Crusher, trying to redirect the conversation.
I stand up and wince as a flash of pain enters my bad leg, Beast places his large hand on mine and offers me his support. I push down using his arm almost like a cane. Once I get my balance and shift my weight to my good leg, I look up at Crusher waiting for his answer. His dark eyes are glowing…some anger yes, but something else I can’t really decipher.
“She’s showing signs of coming out of it. They’re monitoring her closely. You can go see her before I take you home if you want,” Crusher says.
I swallow and think about what he says, before I answer.
“I don’t think it would be good for me to go to the club…”
“Why the fuck not?” Crusher growls and Beast blocks me from his path. It’s sweet, but even without my pills I don’t really fear Crusher…I don’t know why.
“I’m not exactly the most loved person around the Savage Brother’s MC right now. I just think it would be better for everyone if I stay at the house that Nicole and I rent.”
“No. You’re coming to the club, where I can take care of you.”
“It doesn’t appear you’re taking care of her now,” Beast says, folding his huge arms at his chest and making his biceps pop so much, I think they might need their own zip code.
“What would you know about it?”
“I have eyes,” Beast shrugs “You’re more than welcome to come back to the club with me hummingbird, my club will take care of you.”
“You’re the fuck-ups that got her in this mess to begin with.”
“Funny, I’d say that’d be your president pissing off the wrong people,” Beast responds to Crusher.
Four…three…two…one…please let me hold on to my sanity long enough to get out of here, get to the house, swallow some pills and regroup.
“I can take care of myself. Can you two stop your pissing match over your clubs until I get out of here, please?”
I feel them looking at me, but avoid them. Instead, I choose to busy myself with packing up the hospital toiletries they gave me in a plastic bag the nurse gave me.
“I have your discharge papers, Miss Smith.”
The hospital nurse comes in with her clipboard and papers, oblivious to the tension in the room. Me? I breathe a little easier having her in here with me until she looks at me and I see the disdain there.
“Thank you,” I answer trying to ignore the dull ache of pain that is slowly increasing the longer I remain standing.
As she goes over the care of the bandages and things, I feel Crusher standing close to my back. I look over my shoulder to see he’s standing right behind me, so close I can feel his breath against my skin. Beast is standing by the door watching us.
“Do you mind?” I ask Crusher, annoyed.
“I need to know how to take care of you, Hellcat.”
“I told you I will take care of myself, been doing it for a while now.”
“You need someone to help you until you’re better, and that’s me,” he answers.
“Doesn’t look like you’re doing such a great job right now,” Beast speaks up from across the room.
“Did someone ask what you thought?” Crusher asks.
“No, but she’s standing there in pain and instead of helping her, you’re yelling at me.”
Crusher’s body goes rigid at the rebuke, I know, because suddenly he pulls me back against him and takes my weight. His warm body slowly heats my back and I find myself relaxing against my will.
“Why don’t you fuck off? No one wants you here.” Crusher responds to Beast and the nurse looks up at me and shakes her head. She’s judging me, but I shake it off. Everyone does. I learned a long time ago that people will think what they want. The key is to pretend you either don’t give a fuck, or pretend you earned their dislike and enjoy it—for that reason alone I give her my fuck off smile.
“You’re treating her like your woman,” Beast starts again. This time my heart kicks in with fear and I pull away from Crusher…no.
“Not my woman, but definitely property of the Savage MC, fucker.”
I ignore the way the distinction makes my heart feel as if it’s being squeezed in a fist. I don’t want to be any man’s property. I don’t even know why his reply should hurt, but it does.
“Will you two…” I begin only to have Beast interrupt me.
“Why doesn’t she have clean clothes then? Are the Savage pussies too busy to make sure their property doesn’t have to go home in clothes they’ve been shot in? Where’s her flowers or balloons, something to show she’s at least a good piece of club pussy?” Beast asks and I flinch.
The nurse shakes her head and gives me that look. The look I’ve gotten my whole life. The look that broadcasts one word. Whore. I got it when I married Michael with the whispered word gold-digger thrown around. I got it in the emergency rooms the few times Michael allowed me there for treatment. He took great pleasure in telling the doctors how I had a drug problem and he would find me on the streets having been beat up by some john. He loved weaving lies that put him in the best light. I got that look every time I climbed up on the stage to dance and take my clothes off. None of those times hurt as much though as the nurse’s.
“Do you want to start something with me, motherfucker?” Crusher asks, but really I’ve kind of had it by then. I grab my papers the nurse thrust at me, I take the small bag of items I saved from the hospital supplies, and put my papers down in it. I hold the bag in one hand and the flowers in the other and hobble out. A wheel chair would have been nice, but Nurse Ratchet hasn’t mentioned one yet and I’m tired of waiting.
“Woah, Hellcat…”
“Thank you for the flowers, Beast.” I say stiffly as I pass him.
“You can come back with me hummingbird, you’ll be welcomed there.”
Crusher growls and picks me up before I can respond. It’s all I can do to hold onto my flowers and not drop them to the floor. He shoots Beast a look and stomps out with me in his arms.
Chapter 8
Crusher
I take hold of Dani, pulling her into my arms and stomp out. If I don’t, I’m going to kill that mother-fucking-son-of-a-bitch. When I walked in and he was touching Dani’s face, I wanted to break his hand. It’s bad enough that she chose him over me that night. It fucking pisses me off that he’s had his dick anywhere near her. It sure as fuck ain’t happening again. It sits sour in my stomach that she let him anywhere near her.
“What the fuck were you thinking letting that son of a bitch touch you? If you need dick that bad, I can give you mine…” I break off my tirade when I hear a large crash. I look down at her, then down to the floor. I see a broken vase, scattered flowers, and water all along the hall in front of us.
Dani’s elbow swings into my throat, it’s not powerful because of the angle, since she’s in my arms, but it is hard enough that my hands lower her quickly to the ground.
“What the…” I gasp and massage my Adams-apple before continuing. “What the fuck?” My voice sounds like freaking Mickey Mouse, while I catch my breath.
“You don’t get to talk to me like that. You don’t know me. We are nothing to each other, so stick your condescending attitude up your ass. If I want to fuck the whole Green-Bay Packers team, I’ll fuck them.” She growls hobbling away from me.
I watch her for a minute. I can admit it’s mostly to ad
mire the way those jeans are molded to her ass. Then I look at the mess she left behind her. I take pleasure in seeing the fucking flowers broken and scattered on the floor. I would be lying if I didn’t confess I like the way she doesn’t even seem to want to take one with her. I kick them with the toe of my boot and smile as I think about Beast coming out and finding that shit. Then I jog down the hall to catch up with Hop-a-long.
“You need to let me carry you to the cage,” I say when I notice how much pain and discomfort she is in.
“I need for you to leave me the fuck alone. I can take care of myself.”
“Doesn’t appear you do such a good job of it, if you make choices like Beast and Tiny,” I return before I can stop my mouth.
She stops and turns to face me, putting her hands on her hips, the bag with her belongings swaying at her side.
“Maybe if you weren’t so busy holding a gun on me, I wouldn’t have!”
“Will you keep your voice down? And it wasn’t at you, Hellcat. I think you know that. You’re the one who fucked up here.”
“Are you always such a self-righteous prick, Zander?”
I look at her and that’s when it hits me. She’s pale—really pale. Her face is tight indicating her pain and she’s playing the hard ass, but those dark eyes of hers show…fear. I’m an ass. I pick her up and ignore the way she protests and beats on my chest. Instead, I lean down and kiss the top of her head. I’m not sure why, but that seems to calm her.
“I’m sorry Hellcat, I got my nose out of joint because Beast was right. I should have brought you some clothes and your own stuff.”
At my words the fight goes completely out of her and she rests her head against my shoulder. I continue down the hallway towards the exit, oblivious to the stares we receive. It feels good, having Dani in my arms. It feels…right. Which is a scary, fucking thing to admit.
“I don’t know why. I’m nothing to you. It shouldn’t have bothered you,” she says quietly.
I look down and her eyes are closed. She looks so sad and more than a little haunted. Again, she reminds me of Melly. Maybe it’s her sadness? Or the way she tries so hard to be tough as nails, yet still looks so fragile. I honestly don’t know why the two of them are linked in my mind, but they are. Except, the emotions that Dani brings out of me are much more volatile. I don’t say anything while I carry her outside to the cage. I let her slide to her feet, gently but keep my hands on her ass and can’t help but squeeze. I pull her close, knowing she can feel the hard ridge of my cock. I’m not about to hide it from her, Dani and I both have been around the block. She’s going to know that I want to fuck her and I’m not going to hide it. I plan to show her, and show her often.
Her face raises to mine and those eyes of hers…eyes that hold a million secrets pin me in their gaze, and I can’t look away from the interest and the excitement flaring in them.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Hellcat. That’s where you’re wrong,” I whisper.
I expect her to question me, to accuse me of trying to get into her pants, which admittedly I do want. She doesn’t however, and I’m glad. Truthfully, I don’t know how I would have answered her. I don’t know what she is to me, but I know she has potential to be more and I don’t want to leave her alone. That’s probably why I can’t stop myself. As I gently place her inside the vehicle, I lean down on the running boards and look up at her. My fingers slide under her hair. My thumb gently massages the skin at the corner of her lips.
“Zander?” She questions, confused.
Hell, I am too. I’m absolutely confused, but I can’t stop myself. I bring my lips against hers, tasting her, and swallowing the soft sigh of air that escapes. The kiss is gentle and sweet, not at all what I planned to give her. My tongue brushes along the top of her lip and slowly enters into her waiting mouth. At first I’m confused, and take the fact that she’s not participating as rejection, but gradually her tongue comes up and dances against mine. It’s a sweet kiss. A kiss from another time. Chaste almost, but it soothes an empty spot inside of me I didn’t know was there. So, I don’t push it. I slowly break away, leaving our foreheads connected. She closes her eyes and lets me hold her. Dani, who is always fighting, lets me hold her outside in front of everyone and doesn’t protest. No, if I can read her body’s reaction right, she is just like me at the moment. Wishing we could stay like this and not move.
Have I ever savored an innocent kiss? Have I ever given one? Have I ever enjoyed just holding someone before?
I honestly don’t think so. What the hell do I do with that?
Chapter 9
Dani
Wow. No, seriously wow. What the hell was that? What the hell just happened? I can’t help but touch my lips, once Zander closes the door. I started calling him that because I thought it might irritate him, but now I like it. I like that I’m the only one who uses it and I know I’m getting too drawn into him. I think about him way too much. I’m curious about him in ways I haven’t been with other men. He’s dangerous. I planned on retreating and ignoring him completely, but that kiss…
Before Michael and sadly even at the beginning with Michael, I enjoyed kissing. I had. I loved the feel of lips sliding against each other, the taste of another person’s tongue and the pleasure that could come from a good long, slow kiss. I loved all of that. Still, that one small, sweet kiss with Zander blew away any other kiss I ever had out of the water. I fight down the nausea at what this means. There’s no reason to panic. It wasn’t even a sexual kiss. Zander’s a man who has a different woman every time he wants one. This meant nothing to him. He’s probably just feeling sorry for me. He’s trying to make me move into the club and we both know I’m not wanted there.
With that worked out in my brain, I feel slightly better. The last thing I need is to be pursued by a man. Especially a man like Zander. He’s too potent… too consuming… I look over at him as he climbs into the truck and take in his dark hair which is messy and going in different directions, either by the wind, his fingers, or a combination of the two. He has on faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt under his Savage MC cut. His beautiful skin hints at a Latin heritage, but has been bronzed by the sun into this utter perfection that makes any woman, myself included, curious to see more. He is danger, definitely danger. Have I reminded myself of that enough yet?
I turn away to look out the window, as Zander pulls out of the parking area. The cab of the truck is quiet and I feel awkward, but I have no idea what to say.
“Do you need to go to your place and pack before we go to the club?”
“I’m not going to the club but if you could take me to the house, I would appreciate it.”
“Hellcat, we’ve been through this.”
“I know, that’s why we shouldn’t re-hash it again.”
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Zander shake his head, but he doesn’t say anything else.
We drive the rest of the way in silence, the sound of the radio in the background is the only noise. I feel bad, I should find something to say, because he’s been really good to me and though I’ve dialed back my bitch meter towards him, I’m never going to be like the other girls. I don’t have that in me anymore. No one grieves that loss more than I do, but it’s true.
When the vehicle comes to a stop, I jump out, wincing at the pressure it puts on my leg. I ignore it and don’t give Zander time to react. I look through the open window at him.
“Thanks for the ride Zander, stay cool.” I walk off. Dismissed. I must keep him dismissed.
I’m at the front door and have it opened before I realize he is standing behind me.
“What are you doing?”
“Hellcat, until we make sure everything is locked down and the danger is gone, you can’t stay by yourself. That leaves two routes this can take. You either come back to the club, or I can stay here. If you’re going to insist on being a stubborn ass, then I’m here.”
“No fucking way.”
“Not open for debate. Now I
’d rather be at the club, but baby you want to play it this way, I’m down.”
I shake my head, this is not going to happen. I cannot be anywhere near Zander.
I go inside, ignoring him. He follows, as I knew he would, but I want to change. I want my own damn deodorant, clean clothes not covered in blood and my hair washed in my own shampoo. Once I have all that done and I’m back to myself, I can deal with Zander. Right now, I feel…too raw.
I look over my shoulder, as he follows me.
“Take your damn boots off so you don’t track mud in the house.”
I catch him giving me a mock salute out of the corner of my eye as I leave him behind and go to my bedroom. Once I escape to the adjoining bathroom, I lock the door and relax my weight against it. I’ve held it together, but that’s come to an abrupt end. The shaking starts and the tears slide down my cheeks. I go to the sink and turn the water on. Hoping the noise will drown out my tears.
I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked up so bad. I want nothing more than to jump in the shower and let the water rinse me clean and hide my weak-ass tears. I can’t do that though, because of my damn leg. So instead, I rip my shirt over my head and push my pants off, cursing Tiny, my stupidity, Michael, and the stupid ridiculous choices my fucked-up brain keeps making. I curse it all. I hobble to the shower and grab my shampoo and conditioner. I bend over the sink and wash my hair continuously until all I can smell is the scent of strawberries. Even when the scent has permeated the air, I wash it one more time. Then I slowly sink to the floor, ignoring the way my hair drips down my back onto my skin.
I don’t know how long I’ve stayed like this. I guess it must have been awhile, because the next thing I know, Zander is wrapping a bathrobe around me and pulling me up. I should be worried that I’m naked. I should be worried that I appear weak and broken. Something about the way he wraps the robe around me and helps me up, feeding my hands and arms through the sleeves, while supporting my weight, tells me I’m safe. Maybe I’m just completely out of it. Could I be in shock? Surely that’s the only thing that could explain why I would ever feel safe with a man.
Claiming Crusher: Savage Brothers MC Page 8
