Love Waits

by Gerri Hill

  “I just would like to visit and catch up...and not fight. We’ve both moved on. You more than me since you’ve got a partner.”

  Ashleigh was about to protest then remembered her lie. God, Faith? Couldn’t she have come up with a better name than that? Of course, it was fitting, wasn’t it?

  “Why aren’t you with someone?”

  “I just...well, I haven’t met the right one yet.” Gina downed the rest of her drink. “I know it sounds trivial, but it’s the truth. I’ve not met anyone I want to spend my life with. I may not ever meet her.”

  “And after all that dating you did?”

  “I wouldn’t really call it dating, Ashleigh.” She turned back to the bar and held up her empty glass, nodding at the bartender. “I finally grew up. I got tired of living that way.”

  “My mother says you’re down at the coast,” she said. Gina raised her eyebrows questioningly. “She ran into your Aunt Lou,” she explained.

  “Oh.”

  “How long have you been there?”

  “About seven years. And you’ll probably laugh but, well, I found an inner peace there. I went to visit Tracy, an old friend from college. I ran into her in Austin unexpectedly.”

  “Was she one of the ones—”

  “She’s married, got a couple of kids,” Gina said, interrupting her question. “It was there that I realized how empty my life really was.” She handed over a folded bill to the bartender. “Thanks.” She took a sip, nodding. “Anyway, being down there brought back a bunch of memories, as you can imagine.”

  “Our first time,” Ashleigh said quietly, feeling a rush as memories—still fresh—surfaced.

  “Yeah. Our first time.” Gina leaned closer and Ashleigh didn’t shy away from her nearness. “It’s something that I’ll always hold dear to me. It was special.”

  “Yes. Yes it was.” And for all the bad blood between them, the betrayal, the breakup, it was special.

  “You probably are sorry it was me, though,” Gina said. “I mean, your first time and all. I’m sure you’ve met someone that you wish you’d waited for.”

  Ashleigh shook her head. “At first, after you ended our relationship, yes, I did wish I’d waited.” She chanced a quick glance into those dark eyes. “Because I hated you so much. But later, after I’d been...well, when I finally was able to allow someone else close, I realized that what we shared at that young age, well, it was special. I wouldn’t have wanted it to be anyone other than you.”

  They both leaned on the bar, quiet. Ashleigh couldn’t believe the vein their conversation had taken. After months of dreading the encounter, after weeks of dredging up old memories, here they were, talking about their past as if it conjured up no recollection of pain and heartache. It did. Twenty years later, she could still remember the agony she felt when Gina walked out of her life. It was a heartbreak she was certain she’d never recover from.

  Yet, here they were. There’d been no screaming and crying, no angry words. She smiled. Well, the little spat over feeling guilty hardly counted. It wasn’t like she’d slapped Gina or anything.

  “Why are you smiling?”

  Ashleigh turned to face her, their arms brushing. “Because here we are, having a normal conversation, discussing something that was so painful for me, discussing it in a rational manner.”

  “And that makes you smile?”

  “I was thinking about our earlier conversation.” She laughed quietly. “Where—in the movies—I probably would have slapped you, causing a scene.”

  “I see.” Gina leaned forward. “It was painful for me, too, Ashleigh. More so, I think.”

  “More? How could it possibly?”

  “You had someone to go to. I didn’t.”

  Ashleigh stepped back. “What are you talking about? Who?”

  “The girl you were seeing. I don’t remember her name.”

  Ashleigh’s eyes narrowed. “Gina, seriously, what the hell—”

  “There you two are,” Crissy said, coming to stand between them, putting an arm on each of their shoulders. “Just like old times, you two huddled off somewhere together. Catching up, are we?”

  “Catching up, yes,” Ashleigh said. She looked at Gina but she’d turned, facing Crissy.

  “I can’t get over how wonderful you look,” Crissy said to Gina. “I bet you’re a knockout in a swimsuit.”

  Ashleigh couldn’t help but smile as Gina’s face turned red with embarrassment.

  “I did bring a swimsuit, as instructed,” Gina said. “However, I’m having a hard time picturing this crowd sitting around the pool, having a swim party.”

  “Oh, it’ll be fun. Brian is in charge of the hot dogs. And like high school, we’ll have to sneak in beer. The hotel has a no-alcohol policy out there.”

  “Brian?”

  “My husband,” Crissy said.

  “Not the Brian?”

  Ashleigh laughed. “The same.”

  “Oh, my God. You married Brian?”

  Crissy put her hands on her hips, staring at Gina. “I was the head cheerleader, he the star quarterback. It’s a fairytale, don’t you think?”

  Ashleigh could tell Gina was at a loss. The Brian she remembered was a conceited ass. “They’ve only been married a couple of years,” Ashleigh explained.

  “Everyone needs time to grow up,” Crissy said. “Second marriages. I highly recommend them.” She took Gina’s hand. “You’re still single, right?”

  “Right.”

  “You remember James Simpson?” She pulled Gina with her. “He never married either. Let’s go visit.”

  Ashleigh laughed at the panic-stricken look on Gina’s face as Crissy slipped into her matchmaker mode. She’d seen James a handful of times over the years. She suspected he was gay—and not out—but Crissy insisted he never married because he was still in love with Ashleigh.

  Oh, that was a trying time, she recalled. She and Gina sneaking off whenever they could, just to be together. And James, turning into nearly a stalker as his infatuation with Ashleigh became nearly unbearable. She made the mistake of going out with him once. Her mother insisted. “He’s such a nice boy.” Yeah, a nice horny boy.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Twenty-two years earlier

  “I don’t want to go out with him,” Ashleigh insisted.

  “He’s a nice boy, honey.” Her mother clasped both her shoulders, making Ashleigh look at her. “I just don’t understand you, Ashleigh. You’re a beautiful girl, so popular in school, yet you spend all of your time with Gina. This is when you should be dating, having fun, going to parties.”

  “I do have fun, Mom.” She’d always been able to tell her mother anything, but this...her affair with Gina...no, she was too afraid. “I thought you liked Gina.”

  “I do, honey.”

  “Mom, Gina and I...well, she’s not like the others. She’s interested in college. We talk about our future, about what we want. The others—Crissy—it’s all boys and parties and gossip.”

  “That’s how it’s supposed to be when you’re a teenager,” her mother said with a laugh. “I always told your father you grew up too quickly. That’s one reason I pushed you into cheerleading.”

  Ashleigh rolled her eyes. “I hate cheerleading.”

  Her mother studied her for a moment. “Ashleigh, do this for me? Just go out with him. Give it a chance.”

  “But—”

  “You’re going to be a senior. It’ll be prom time. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a boyfriend?”

  Ashleigh bit her lip to keep from laughing. A boyfriend.

  But she finally agreed, just to get her mother to shut up about it already. She called Crissy, saying she’d changed her mind. She’d go with them to the rodeo after all.

  “Wear those tight black jeans,” Crissy said. “Do you have cowboy boots?”

  “You know I don’t.”

  “Okay, but wear some kind of boot, would you?” Then she squealed. “I can’t believe you’re going out with James. F
inally!”

  “It’s not really a date, Crissy.”

  “Of course it is. We’ll pick you up by seven.”

  Ashleigh hung up, knowing she was making a mistake. She didn’t want to go. She knew she’d have no fun. It was Friday night. More often than not, Gina would bring pizza over and they’d watch a movie. And she’d ask Gina to stay over.

  She glanced at her bed. Gina would call her mother, letting her know she was spending the night. She didn’t know why they bothered with formalities. They both knew—as did their parents—that Gina wouldn’t be going home. And during the night, after everyone else had gone to bed and the house was quiet, they’d stop pretending they were sleeping. They’d touch, they’d kiss...they’d make love.

  Yet tonight, she’d let her mother talk her into going out on a stupid date. Truth was, she was afraid her mother was getting suspicious of all the time she and Gina spent together. It was actually a miracle they hadn’t been caught yet.

  She picked up the phone, dreading her call to Gina. Gina would be hurt. No, Gina would be confused. And hurt.

  “Hi, Mrs. Granbury, it’s Ashleigh. Is Gina around?”

  “Hi, Ashleigh. Yes, she’s out playing basketball with Jeff. Hang on, I’ll go get her.”

  “Thanks.” She waited only a minute or two before Gina’s breathless voice sounded in her ear.

  “Hi. What’s up?” Then softer, quieter, “I can’t wait to see you.”

  Ashleigh bit her lip, not knowing how to tell her. “I’m going out tonight,” she blurted. “With James.” There was only silence on the other end and she waited.

  “I see.” A long pause, then, “Why?”

  “My mother, she’s been after me to date, she’s starting to question why we spend so much time together. I thought—”

  “Okay. I understand.”

  “Do you?”

  “Yes. As long as we continue to hide what we have, what we feel, then yeah, your mother is going to wonder why you’re not dating.”

  Ashleigh listened to her words but she was more interested in her tone. “You’re mad,” she finally stated.

  “Yeah. Wouldn’t you be?”

  Ashleigh pulled the phone away from her ear as Gina slammed it down, effectively hanging up on her. She took a deep breath. Yeah, she’d be pissed if Gina called and said she had a date. In fact, she’d be mad as hell.

  So what were you thinking?

  Ashleigh plopped down on her bed, confused as to what to do. Well, she knew what she should do. She should call Crissy and cancel. But then she’d have some explaining to do to both Crissy and her mother. And then she’d most likely spend the night alone anyway as she doubted Gina—explanation or not—would want to come over.

  “Crap. Shit. Fuck.”

  “Oh, man, you look great.”

  Yeah, she did. But James wasn’t really the one she wanted to look great for. And after the argument with her mother—after she’d told her she wasn’t going out with James—she was in no mood for compliments. She obviously didn’t win the argument with her mother.

  Crissy pulled her aside, squeezing tightly on her arm. “What is wrong with you? You’ve got a pissed off look on your face.”

  Ashleigh ignored her question. “What are we doing here? I thought we were going to the rodeo?”

  Crissy winked. “Well, James was so excited that you’d finally agreed to go out with him, he wanted to come by The Spot and show off.”

  Ashleigh glanced around. The Burger Spot was the place in town to go if you wanted to mingle with the cool kids. It was a teenager’s dream, filled with video games and arcades, air hockey and foosball and lots of fun and laughter. It was where they gathered after Friday night football games, where they hung out on lazy Saturday afternoons or where they met up after school for a bitch or gossip session before heading home. And it was a place Ashleigh and Gina had avoided of late, choosing instead to spend their time alone.

  “Crissy, I wouldn’t really call this a date.”

  “Oh, my God, of course it is.” Crissy pulled her back toward their booth. “And I think we’re going to skip the rodeo and catch a movie instead.”

  “A movie?”

  “Yeah.” Crissy grinned and wiggled her eyebrows. “We can sit in the balcony and make out.”

  Ashleigh slid into the booth beside James, cringing as he spread his legs, his thigh pressing tightly against hers. She moved away from him.

  “Burger and fries?” he asked. “My treat, of course.”

  She jumped when she felt his hand move across her leg to her inner thigh. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demanded as she slapped at his hand.

  “Hey, I was just—”

  “Well, don’t,” she said as she slid away, standing. “You don’t touch me. Ever.”

  She spun away, hearing Crissy call her name. She ignored her as she headed to the back.

  Stupid. Stupid.

  She fished in her purse for coins, her hands shaking as she picked up the pay phone.

  “Ashleigh? What is wrong with you?”

  “Leave me alone, Crissy,” she said, turning her back to her. Please answer. She knew Gina’s parents were out. They went out to dinner every Friday night. But what if Gina wasn’t home? What if—?

  “Hello,” came the familiar voice on the phone.

  Crissy tapped her on the shoulder. “Ashleigh? Seriously. James is—”

  “Ashleigh? What’s wrong?” Gina’s voice sounded in her ear and it was like a lifeline. She turned to Crissy. “Please, go back to the table.”

  “You’re acting really weird. Really, really weird,” Crissy said before turning in a huff and leaving her.

  “Ashleigh?”

  Ashleigh squeezed her eyes tight. “I love you,” she whispered.

  There was a pause. “Where are you?”

  “The Spot.”

  “Do you want me to—”

  “Yes. I want to be with you. I’m sorry. This was—”

  “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

  Ashleigh hung up the phone, her chest feeling tight. I love you. She couldn’t believe she’d just blurted it out like that. As many times as they were intimate, as much as they talked, they’d never said those words to each other. Their lovemaking was always guarded, calculated, planned. They had to be careful. They had to be quiet. They couldn’t let anyone know. Yet there were so many times those words came to her—she wanted to shout them out—as Gina brought her to orgasm. So many times she wanted to say them, but was afraid. They were two girls having sex. Did I love you belong there?

  Yes, it did, she decided. Because, deep in her heart, she was madly in love with Gina Granbury. And despite the aloof attitude Gina normally sported, she knew—deep in her heart—that Gina felt the same.

  She bent her head back, staring at the ceiling as she took a deep breath, then released it slowly. How was she going to get out of here? The booth that Crissy and the gang occupied was only six feet from the door. It wasn’t like she could escape unnoticed. And without a scene. So she eyed the kitchen. There was a back door.

  You’ve lost your mind.

  But she pushed through the swinging doors, smiling brightly as everyone in the kitchen turned their gaze her way.

  “Back door?” she asked.

  They all pointed in the same direction and she nearly ran, sidestepping the guy pulling a dripping pan of fries from the grease. She saw the exit sign and pushed through the door, taking deep breaths of fresh air.

  True to her word, Gina pulled up in the old Toyota her parents had bought for her. It was bordering on jalopy status and she knew Gina was embarrassed to drive it. Still more often than not, she rode her bike to school.

  As soon as the car was stopped, Ashleigh jerked open the door, then hesitated before getting inside. She owed Gina an apology, an explanation.

  “I’m sorry—”

  “Get in. We’ll talk later.”

  Ashleigh did, not daring to look at Gina a
s she drove.

  “My parents went to dinner over in Pleasanton. They won’t be home for hours.”

  Ashleigh turned to her and their eyes met. She nodded, knowing that meant they would be alone...for hours. Alone. No parents asleep down the hall. No siblings who might barge into the bedroom without knocking. No need to be guarded, to be quiet. She felt her excitement grow and she reached across the console, her left hand sliding over Gina’s leg, resting intimately between her thighs. She felt Gina tremble, heard her breath catch.

  Ashleigh leaned back, letting her hand move deeper, pressing hard into Gina’s hot center.

  “I’m going to drive us off the road if you don’t stop,” Gina said, her voice thick with desire.

  Ashleigh opened her mouth, her breath coming in short gasps as she felt the warm moisture pooling between Gina’s thighs. She left her hand where it was, feeling Gina tighten around it. They had been lovers for months, yet there was one thing they had not experienced. Not for lack of desire, no. But as quiet as they had to be, Ashleigh knew she would not be able to remain silent if Gina made love to her with her mouth. Tonight she wouldn’t have to be silent.

  Gina pulled to a stop in her normal spot on the street and they hurried from the car, nearly running into the house. Gina took her hand, leading her through the living room and down the hall to her bedroom. She closed the door, leaving the light off.

  They stood there together, hands still clasped, looking at each other in the shadows.

  “Did you mean what you said?”

  Ashleigh took a deep breath. “Yes.” She felt Gina pull her closer and she went, slipping into her arms, their mouths finding each other in the darkness. She moaned, loving the way Gina kissed her.

  “I want all of you tonight,” Gina murmured against her lips, her hands tugging Ashleigh’s blouse from her jeans. “All of you. Everything.”

  “I’m yours,” she whispered, unbuttoning her blouse as Gina’s hands unzipped her jeans. She was soon naked and they nearly ripped Gina’s clothes off, both tugging down her shorts at the same time.

  Gina pulled the covers back on the bed, then lay down, bringing Ashleigh with her. Ashleigh didn’t hesitate as she settled between her legs, loving the feel of skin on skin as she rested her weight on Gina. But Gina flipped them over, pinning her to the bed, her mouth covering one aching nipple, her lips tugging at it, sucking it into her mouth.