Seven Reasons Why

by Neesa Hart

  “Would someone like to explain to me what’s going on?” August asked.

  Sebastiano smiled at her—a wicked grin that, had she not been able to compare it to Zack’s oh-so-tempting smile, might have given her heart palpitations. Any of the three men, she imagined, could set half the female population on its ear. Still, they paled in the face of Zack’s commanding presence. Even with his body pressed to her back, she could feel the determination in him. He spoke in Spanish to his three brothers. A few short phrases seemed to ease the tension. Miguel held up his hand. He glanced sharply from Zack to Rafe. “Both of you, cut it out,” he said in English. “Act like grown-ups for a change.”

  “We’re perfectly capable of getting along,” Zack said.

  “Of course.” Rafe nodded, then slanted a look at Miguel. “We’re not going to fight.”

  “That would be a switch,” Sebastiano drawled.

  August pulled free of Zack’s grip. “Any time you want to explain this…” she said, prompting him.

  “Mierda, hermano,” Rafael said. “Don’t tell me you haven’t told her yet.”

  “I’m getting to that.” Zack gritted the words out. “And watch your language.”

  Chip was actively tugging on Rafael’s pant leg. Rafe bent to bring his face eye level with Chip’s. “What is it, amigo

  “I’m not amigo. I’m Chip.”

  Rafe smiled a rascal’s smile over Chip’s head at Zack and August. “So you are,” he said. “What do you want?”

  “Are you a pirate?”

  With a slight laugh, Rafe dropped into one of the kitchen chairs. “Do you think I am?” he asked.

  “Don’t scare him,” Zack snapped.

  Chip looked at Zack. “I’m not scared.” He advanced a few steps so that he could examine Rafe at close proximity. “You look like a pirate.”

  Teddy and Bo crowded near. “Are you?” Bo asked him.

  Sebastiano leaned one broad shoulder against the door frame. “Get out of this one, Rafael.”

  Rafael thoughtfully stroked His chin. “No. I’m not a pirate. I’m Zack’s padrino de boda.”

  Teddy’s face wrinkled in confusion. Bo frowned at Rafe. “His what?”

  “Best man,” Miguel translated. “He’s Zack’s best man.”

  “That’s it.” August gave Zack a disgruntled look. “What is going on here?”

  He pressed a hand to the small of her back. “Come outside with me,” he urged. “We’ll talk.”

  “Why can’t we talk here? Everyone else seems to know what’s going on.”

  His gaze scanned the crowded room. “What I’ve got to say to you,” he said in a dark, rumbly voice that made her knees feel weak, “I’m going to say without an audience.”

  Zack wondered if she had any idea how appealing she looked standing in the morning sunlight. Her tousled curls, the baggy pajamas, the still-sleepy look in her eyes, waged war on his senses. He already felt his body growing heavy. Dear God, but he wanted this woman.

  And it went a whole hell of a lot deeper than some physical ache. August Trent made his soul yearn for her. In the deep recesses of his mind, he admitted to a yawning fear that she’d slip away from’ him. She was too independent, too sure. In the dark night, he’d realized that if he didn’t move quickly to bind her to him, she might easily slip away. To be needed. His fingers flexed on the worn wood of her porch railing. He would tie her to him so tightly, she’d forget that she’d never really needed him at all. Then this terrible, tearing fear would subside. He was sure of it.

  “Zack, what’s going on?” She watched him through bright bourbon-colored eyes.

  What was needed here, he knew, was a certain level of verbal persuasion. If he rushed her, she’d flee. “I’ve decided we should get married,” he blurted out, before he could stop himself.

  August’s body stilled like the air before a storm. “I beg your pardon?”

  He drew a deep breath. “Last night, while you were sleeping, I decided that the best thing for the boys would be if you and I got married.”

  “Married?” Her expression didn’t flicker. “For the boys?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Just like that. You decided we should make a lifetime commitment.”

  “I didn’t say it had to be a lifetime commitment.”

  “Oh, excuse me. I thought marriage was sort of a permanent thing.”

  Frustrated, Zack wiped a hand over his face. He was handling this badly. “Think of it as a business arrangement.”

  Her quick laugh fell just short of hysterical. “A business arrangement? Are you nuts?”

  “Maybe.” Zack turned to look at her. Propping one hip against the porch railing, he studied her taut features. “Just listen to me for a minute. I can explain.”

  “This should be rich.”

  Because he couldn’t resist the need to touch her, as if the tangible proof of her presence would help fend off the clawing fear that she was slipping away from him, he straightened the collar of her pajama top with his fingers. “You heard what Fulton said,” he told her. He needed the best ammunition he had. “We’re going to end up in court with Snopes. If you want the judge to believe you should have permanent custody of Teddy, you’ve got to prove you can provide a stable environment.”

  “I can provide a stable environment”.

  “You said yourself that the court’s approach to adoption laws is archaic. If you’re married, you’ll have a much better chance of gaining permanent custody. Not just of Teddy,” he added, “of all of them.”

  “And just who is going to believe that you and I are a stable couple? I’ve only known you a few weeks.”

  “August.” He closed the distance between them so that he could press her against his body. “I’m handling this badly. I’m sorry. If you’d just think this through, you’d understand why it’s a good strategy.”

  “Oh, it’s a strategy now? Funny, I thought it was intimidation.”

  “I’m not trying to intimidate you,” he insisted, despite the twinge of guilt he felt.

  “You don’t call summoning the troika—” she indicated his three brothers, entertaining the boys in the kitchen “—an act of intimidation.”

  “It wasn’t meant that way. I talked with Fulton this morning. He agreed to perform the ceremony this afternoon.”

  She gasped. “This afternoon?”

  Zack rubbed a calming hand on her spine. “He thinks he can get us in to talk with Judge Laden first thing next week.”

  “I can’t marry you today.”

  He ignored her. “I wanted Miguel and Sebastiano here to watch the boys while we’re in Hampton Roads. After the stunt Snopes pulled the other day, I’m not taking any chances.” His lips thinned as he watched Rafael telling an animated story to a fascinated Chip and Teddy. “Face it, Emma’s no match for him, and we can’t rely on the police. Rafe was an extra bonus. We won’t have to worry about their safety this way.”

  “Zack—” she poked his chest “—will you listen to yourself? We’re not talking about a trip to the grocery store here, we’re talking about marriage. You can’t possibly expect me to marry you this afternoon.”

  “Odelia’s closing in, August. I’d bet real money that she was behind Snopes’s arrival.”

  “You think so?”

  “Definitely. She’s declared war on you. It’s only a matter of time before she has you in court, anyway. If Laden can see us at the beginning of the week, we can get a decision from her. I think we should have this marriage business out of the way by then.”

  “Like a vaccination,” she mumbled.

  Zack moved both hands to her hips. “I’m not suggesting that I’m not pleased by the idea.”

  “This from a man who told me he doesn’t make longterm commitments. You’re awfully chipper about this marriage business.”

  He bit back an oath of frustration. Her insistence on the temporary should have given him a sense of security, but he found himself increasingly agitat
ed by her insistence that their relationship would eventually implode. “I gave my word to the boys that I’d help them,” he told her. “I thought you wanted to help them, too.”

  “That’s playing dirty. How dare you accuse me of that!”

  “Then marry me.” He pressed his face to the curve of her neck. “I don’t know how long it’ll last,” he said, “but I’d never abandon you. As long as you need me, I’ll be here.”

  He felt the tenseness in her body. After long, agonizing seconds, she asked, “What do you think the chances are of winning against George Snopes if I refuse?”

  Zack met her gaze. “Fulton thinks you have a betterthan-average shot at getting custody” he admitted.

  “But not great?”

  “Not great.”

  August glanced at the boys. “I can’t lose them.”

  “You don’t have to. If we go to Laden, show her we’re married, prove to her that we’ll provide them with a stable, healthy environment, she’ll not only award you custody, she’ll probably let you proceed with the adoption.” The last was a cheap trick. He knew it. He could still feel August’s resistance, however, and wasn’t above stooping to emotional blackmail.

  She drummed agitated fingers on his chest.” “Still,” she said, hedging. “Marriage.”

  “August.” He moved against her. “Don’t you trust me?”

  She worried her lower lip between her teeth. When her gaze met his again, he saw the resolve in their depths. “Of course I do,” she muttered.

  “Then marry me. Let me help you.” He nodded his head toward the kitchen. “Let me help them.”

  He sensed her surrender in the way her body relaxed against him. “I’ll marry you, Zack,” she whispered, “but.on one condition.”

  “Name it”

  “Swear to me that you won’t hurt my kids. I’ll never forgive you if you hurt them.”

  His hand trembled as he rubbed the back of her head. “I won’t. You have my word.”

  August stared at herself in the bathroom mirror of Jansen Riley’s house as she contemplated the enormity of what she’d just done. She was married to Zack Adriano. A few minutes in front of Fulton Cleese, her signature on an embossed piece of paper, and it was over. What had she been thinking?

  She frowned as she looked at her pale face. She looked more like a widow than a bride. As if he feared she’d change her mind, Zack had hurried her through the day. He’d spent most of the morning on the phone, while she made her trip out to the Duggs’s farm, presided at the council meeting and completed her usual rounds. By the time she walked in the door, he’d been dressed in a dark suit, waiting for her with a look that was almost predatory.

  She’d barely had time to dress in a cream-colored suit and leave instructions with his three brothers before Zack swiftly ushered her to the car. They’d made the trip to Hampton Roads in silence. In the close confines of his car, she’d sensed the tension in him. He’d seemed driven by an inexplicable urgency. Only his strong grip on her hand had seemed real during the long drive.

  At least a dozen times that day, she’d contemplated telling him she’d changed her mind. But the memory of George Snopes’s face, menacing and cold, would spring to mind, and she’d forcibly bite back the words.

  By the time they reached Fulton Cleese’s office, August had been a mass of nerves. Zack had dispatched the paperwork with his usual efficiency. Nothing in his manner had given her even the slightest hint that he was suffering the same turmoil as she. Why, she’d been left to wonder, was he doing this? She’d never found the courage to ask.

  It had been over, it seemed, before it began. In the span of a few short minutes, Zack had been assisting her into his car, and they’d been on the road back to Keegan’s Bend. During the trip home, they’d again lapsed into silence. Zack’s hand rested casually on her knee. His fingers occasionally flexed. Once or twice, she’d felt his gaze travel from the road to her face, but as they approached the outskirts of Keegan’s Bend, she’d realized they hadn’t spoken since they left Cleese’s office. Briefly she’d tried to make conversation, offering some inane comment about how Keegan’s Bend hadn’t changed in the hours they were gone. His only response had been the tightening of his fingers on her knee.

  Now, she stood alone in his bathroom, on a wedding night far different from any she’d ever imagined. She hadn’t even bothered to express her surprise when Zack turned into Jansen’s driveway. Instead, she’d fled into the house, into this bathroom, with a muttered apology. Staring at the cold reality of her reflection, and the ring on the third finger of her left hand, she made herself admit why she’d married Zack. It had been easy to hide behind her boys as an excuse, but the simple truth was, she’d married him because she wanted to. Despite all her best intentions and determination, she’d allowed herself to fall in love with Zack Adriano.

  The realization gave her an odd sort of strength. So he’d taken her heart. So he’d probably break it. She harbored no illusions that a man who claimed he’d already raised all the family he’d ever wanted could have a permanent place in her life. But how many times had she turned her back on intimacy, simply to avoid being hurt? More than she could remember. For the first time, the price of the pain was outweighed by the potential pleasure. She would revel in her feelings for him as long as she could, and when he left, she’d simply have to find a way to survive. “No sense in being a coward, August,” she told her reflection. “What’s done is done” Gathering her wits around her, she reached for the door handle.

  Zack stood with his back to her, facing out the window of his bedroom. He’d stripped off his dress shirt, but still wore the pants from his suit. The stifling afternoon sun had left the upstairs bedroom stuffy and close, but the humid warmth paled in comparison to the heat that seemed to radiate from his skin. “Zack,” she said.

  His shoulders visibly tensed. “Yes?”

  “Are you—” she paused ”—all right?”

  He slowly turned from the window. At the intense look in his dark eyes, her stomach fluttered. “Are you?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  “Thank you for being honest.”

  “Are you sorry we did this?”

  “No.”

  She had to fight the urge to fidget beneath his gaze. His eyes seemed to be probing her thoughts, her soul. “You seem tense.”

  “I want you, querlda” he breathed. “More than you know.”

  Something like lava poured through her blood. Her limbs grew warm and heavy as she watched him advance across the room.

  “But I will not,” he continued, “use that as an excuse. That’s not why I married you.” He stopped, inches from her. “You may go home tonight, if you wish.”

  “Is that what you want?” she asked.

  His laugh was almost a groan. “No. I went to extraordinary lengths to ensure you wouldn’t have to. I have a security force staying with the boys.” With a look that threatened to wilt her eyelashes, he studied her in the dim light. “I had planned a flawless seduction.”

  The words resonated in her head. “What changed your mind?”

  “The way you looked at me in Fulton’s office,” he admitted. “Like you were sacrificing yourself. That’s not what I want from you.”

  August exhaled a long breath. “This is a bit sudden,” she said. “I think you can understand why I’m feeling overwhelmed.”

  “Of course. That’s why I want you to know you’re free to leave. I’ll keep my end of the bargain, regardless of your decision.”

  In the soft glow of the lamp, August studied the determined set of his jaw. All at once, she knew just why she’d fallen for him. For twelve dollars and thirty-seven cents and a rock, her boys had hired themselves a champion. Nothing in the world could make her turn away from a man who cared for her kids as Zack did.

  It was her responsibility to keep her feet firmly grounded in reality. One day, Zack would leave her. When he did, she’d be as she’d always been: alone. B
ut she’d have her kids. And she’d have the memories. Tonight, that was all she needed.

  Behind Zack’s implacable facade, she pictured a fourteen-year-old boy waiting in vain for the return of his missing father. On the strong width of his shoulders she imagined the remembered burdens of caring for his brothers and sisters. In his lifetime, she realized, he’d stood always surrounded by family, yet always alone. Hauntingly, achingly alone. That thought reached her as no other could have. Zack Adriano; she realized, had once again shouldered a burden, only to find himself terrified of carrying it alone. With a soft smile, she closed the distance between them. “You know,” she said, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get rid of me.”

  His body tensed when she laid her palms on his bare chest. “But then—” August rubbed her fingers on the lines of his ribs “—I have a feeling you’re sparking like a firecracker.”

  “August—” he captured her hands when they skimmed over his stomach “—be sure about this.”

  She raised laughing eyes to his. “Oh, I’m sure. I’m not sure about much else, I’ll admit. But I’m sure about this.”

  With a groan, Zack encircled her waist with one strong arm. He lifted her against the length of his body. “Dios, querida,” he whispered. “What you do to me.”

  His accent had thickened to an exotic burr. August felt an answering quiver in the pit of her stomach. “Tell me,” she said. “You can’t even imagine how much I love the way you talk to me.”

  With a joyous laugh, Zack eased her back toward the bed. His fingers found the lapels of her suit as he lowered her onto the mattress. “What do you want to hear?” He nipped at the sensitive skin behind her ear.

  The shrill ring of the telephone broke the spell. “Not that,” August muttered.

  “Ignore it,” Zack urged her. “They’ll go away.”

  She shook her head as she reached for the receiver. “Welcome to parenthood. Never ignore a ringing telephone. One of your kids could be on the way to the emergency—” she gasped when Zack’s mouth found the line of her skin above the green silk of her bodysuit “—room.” She pushed at his head, to no avail, as she lifted the receiver to her ear. “Hello.” Her breathing was so shallow, she sounded as if she’d just run a marathon.